by Amy Clipston
Naomi slowly backed up toward the counter. She wanted to sneak away and hide somewhere far away from this uncomfortable moment. Pushing thoughts of Susie and her father out of her mind, she crossed the kitchen and found her mother. She planned to help serve lunch and forget her idea of getting to know Susie.
“Caleb!” A voice bellowed. “Caleb Schmucker!”
Caleb turned just as Timothy Kauffman smacked his back. “Timothy!”
“How are you?” Timothy gave his hand a stiff shake. “It’s been what—ten years?”
“It feels that long. I’m gut.” Caleb examined his face and found it clean shaven. “You’re not married yet?”
Timothy smirked. “I’m working on it.”
“What are you waiting for?” Caleb asked. “You’re thirty now. We’re getting old.”
Timothy laughed. “Ya, we are, but I’m getting there. I think next wedding season I’ll be taking my vow with my liewe. How’s Susie? I believe I saw her running off with Robert’s girls.”
“She is doing well,” Caleb said. He patted Timothy’s shoulder. “It’s so gut to see you. I’ve missed my family here.”
Timothy shrugged. “So move back. You can build buggies here just like you do in Middlefield.”
Caleb scanned the room, spotting a host of familiar faces. “It’s tempting.”
Timothy guided Caleb to a table where they sat with Timothy’s brothers and a few other men Caleb recognized. “I think a new start would be wunderbaar for you and Susie.”
“How are you, Caleb?” Daniel Kauffman asked, leaning over and shaking Caleb’s hand.
“It’s so gut to see you,” Eli Kauffman interjected. “I was so sorry to hear about Barbara.”
“Danki,” Caleb said with a nod.
“How are things in Ohio?” Eli asked.
He updated the men on his life, and out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the woman from the farmers market. She approached the table with a tray of potato salad, and he tried to make eye contact.
“Danki, Naomi,” Daniel said as she filled his plate with potato salad.
Naomi. Her name is Naomi.
Caleb let the name roll through his mind while he tried to remember what Sadie had told him about her. According to Sadie, the woman was too eager for a husband and she had run after Luke Troyer and Timothy. However, she looked very sweet and humble with her pretty face and deep brown eyes. He couldn’t imagine her running after any man.
While the conversation at his table continued among the men, Caleb tried again to make eye contact with her. However, she quickly served each of them and then moved on to the adjacent table. He wondered if she’d even seen him. He’d noticed her during the service, and she’d met his gaze. Why was she avoiding it now?
Naomi headed back to the kitchen, and Caleb felt the unfaltering urge to follow her. He set his fork on the table and stood.
“Caleb?” Timothy asked, looking confused.
Caleb nodded toward the kitchen. “I’m going to go check on Susie. I’ll be right back.” He headed toward the kitchen but was waylaid by David Beiler, who stepped in front of him, blocking the doorway.
“How are you, Caleb?” David shook his hand. “It’s so good to see you.”
“It’s nice to see you too. I spoke to Kathryn earlier.” Caleb glanced past him, spotting Naomi chatting with an older woman while filling another pan with potato salad.
“Caleb!” Sadie said, appearing with a tray of rolls. “I’ve been looking for you. I have someone I want you to meet.”
Caleb glanced back toward the kitchen doorway just as Naomi stepped through it. She met his stare and then quickly turned away. Before he could step toward her, Sadie grabbed his arm and yanked him to the other side of the room, causing him to stumble along behind her.
“Sadie, I was going to —” he began.
“Caleb,” she said, bringing him to a jolting stop in front of an attractive young blonde, who smiled. “This is Irene Wagler. Irene’s daed owns Wagler’s Buggies in Intercourse.”
“Wie geht’s?” Irene held out her hand.
Caleb gave her hand a quick shake. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Irene glanced toward the kitchen. “I better get back in and finish serving the drinks.”
“Don’t be silly,” Sadie said, waving off the comment. “You two get acquainted, and I’ll bring out the drinks.” She winked at Irene, and Caleb wondered if she’d meant to be discreet. However, he was certain his older sister had never been subtle a day in her life.
“Sadie tells me you’re visiting for the holidays,” Irene said as she leaned against the wall behind her.
“Ya.” Caleb fingered his beard and glanced across the room where Naomi was scooping potato salad onto a man’s plate.
“You should come by and see my daed’s shop. It’s very nice.”
“Maybe I will,” he said.
Susie raced over, narrowly missing running into a man who was headed in the opposite direction. “Dat! Dat!”
“Calm down,” he told her, leaning over to take her hand in his. “You almost crashed into that man.”
“Dat!” Her eyes were wide with excitement. “Aenti Sadie told me that I’m going to a cookie exchange tomorrow! Isn’t that wunderbaar?” She squeezed his hands. “I love it here.”
He laughed. “That sounds wunderbaar gut. I’m so glad you’re having fun.” He nodded toward Irene. “This is my new friend, Irene. Can you say hello to her?”
“Hi. I’m Susan Schmucker, but my friends call me Susie.”
“Hi, Susie. I’m Irene, and I’ll be at the cookie exchange tomorrow too.” Although Irene smiled down at his daughter, Caleb couldn’t help but notice that the smile didn’t reach her eyes.
“I’m going to go back in the kitchen and help with the dishes,” Susie said. “Bye!”
Caleb grinned after her. Oh how that little girl warmed his heart.
“So, tell me about Middlefield,” Irene said.
He shrugged. “What do you want to know?”
Irene smiled, and this one was real. “Everything.”
CHAPTER 4
How are you really?” Timothy asked. “You said things are gut at work, but how are you really coping?”
Caleb shivered while sitting on the porch at Eli Kauffman’s house later that evening. Most everyone had left, except for a few families, the bulk of them related to the Kauffmans. He was disappointed that he hadn’t managed to speak with Naomi before she exited with her family. However, he’d shared a brief gaze with her from across the crowded room. She’d given him a shy smile, and he noticed she had an adorable dimple on her right cheek. He hated how cliché the smile across the crowded room felt, and he hoped he’d meet her personally soon.
“Caleb?” Timothy asked. “Did you hear me? I asked how you truly are. You can be honest with me.”
Caleb buried his frigid hands in the pockets of his coat. “I’m living, day to day. Susie keeps me going.”
Timothy frowned. “How’s Susie coping?”
Caleb shrugged. “She seems okay to me. She loves school, and her teacher is wunderbaar.” He shook his head. “Sadie told me last night that Susie needs a mamm, but it’s not that simple. I can’t just order one from a catalog.”
Timothy gave a bark of laughter. “Mail order mamm, eh?”
“Right.” Caleb chuckled.
“There’s no one special waiting for you back in Ohio?”
“No.” Caleb shook his head. “One of Barbara’s cousins tried to set me up with a couple of her friends, but we really didn’t have anything in common. Her cousin finally gave up on me.”
Timothy turned to him, looking intrigued. “Don’t you want to find a mamm for Susie? I don’t mean to sound like your schweschder, but why would you want to raise Susie all by yourself?”
“It’s not that I choose to be alone, but it sort of feels like I’m supposed to be alone.” Caleb paused, gathering his thoughts. He’d never opened up about this subject bef
ore and it made him uncomfortable. However, he trusted Timothy and he wanted to get the emotions out in the open. “I feel like I don’t deserve to be froh after what happened to Barbara. I feel like it’s my fault.”
Timothy frowned. “It’s not your fault, Caleb. It was an accident.”
“I know,” Caleb said with a sigh. “But it’s not fair that I’m still here, and she’s not. I feel like I should be punished or suffer somehow.” He thought about the nights spent alone in bed, thinking of her and all they lost. “I feel like I’m stuck in this lonely cloud sometimes just floating around all by myself.”
“Maybe you and Susie need a new beginning.” Timothy brightened. “You can come back here and start over. That would cheer you up a bit and help you move on.”
“It’s not that easy. I also feel guilty about moving on with my life. How is it fair that I can move on, but Barbara can’t?”
Timothy was silent for a moment. “What’s keeping you in Ohio? What do you have there?”
“Susie has a few of Barbara’s cousins that we see occasionally,” Caleb said. “That seems to be the right reason to stay. But to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure why we are stuck in the same old routine. I guess it’s easy because I don’t have to think about it. I just continue through the daily grind. The reminders of Barbara all over the house are painful, but I try to let go of my emotions and just remain distant. It’s the only way I know to cope with it all for Susie’s sake.”
“So you’re the shell of the man you once were?” Timothy shook his head. “That’s sad.”
Caleb paused, touching his beard while considering Timothy’s words. He knew his friend was right, but he didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He needed to change the subject. “I’d rather hear about your life, Timothy. When do I get to meet your future fraa?”
Timothy jammed a thumb toward the door. “Miriam is here. She was talking with my sisters earlier.”
“How’d you meet her?”
Timothy shook his head. “It’s a long story. We met at a singing.”
“A singing?” Caleb sat up straight on the bench. “Your district has singings for folks our age? I definitely need to move back home.”
“Ha, ha,” Timothy muttered, his voice seeping sarcasm. “That’s not what I meant. We met when we were younger, and then we parted ways. Miriam moved to Indiana for a few years and then came back last year. We worked things out, and now we’re finally on the right path. I guess God needed us to grow up a bit before we were ready to get married.”
“That may be so.” Is that why God took Barbara from me? Is there a lesson I need to learn before I find happiness again? Caleb stared out at the small snowflakes beginning to fall from the sky while the thoughts floated through his mind. “We may have a white Christmas,” he finally said.
“Ya,” Timothy said. “It’s supposed to snow a few times before Christmas Eve.”
Caleb wanted to ask Timothy about Naomi. However, he didn’t want to make it sound like he was interested in her. He didn’t even know her, but he found her so intriguing. There was something about her, something subtle that he couldn’t put into words. She was nothing like the women back in Ohio that Barbara’s cousin had tried to push him to get to know.
“You should come by the furniture store,” Timothy said, rubbing his hands together. “We rebuilt it after the fire, and it looks a bit different. It’s a little bigger. We’ve been really busy this year. My daed hired a few more carpenters.”
“I’m glad business is gut. I’d heard about the fire,” Caleb said. “I’m sorry about Peter.”
“Ya, that was a tragedy.” Timothy frowned. “Much like what happened …” His words trailed off, but Caleb knew he was speaking of Barbara.
Caleb didn’t want to talk about the accident now and run the risk of getting emotional. “On the way in yesterday, Susie and I stopped at the farmers market, and she spoke to a woman at a quilt stand.” He gestured toward the door. “The woman was here today. Her name is Naomi, and Susie has really taken to her. Do you know her?”
Timothy smiled. “Ya, you could say I know her.”
Curious, Caleb raised an eyebrow. For some reason, he’d hoped the rumors Sadie had shared weren’t true.
“I feel bad because I sort of broke her heart.” Timothy shook his head. “You won’t be proud of me, bruder.”
“I’m certain it’s nothing that you should be ashamed of, Timothy,” Caleb said, hoping he wasn’t going to regret asking about her.
“I guess you could say I led her on.” Timothy stared off toward the falling snow. “We courted for a while, and I guess I sort of used her to get my mind off Miriam when Miriam came back into town. I feel terrible about it. I was going to keep my word and stay with Naomi, but she set me free, saying she knew I loved Miriam and not her. Naomi seems so sad now. I feel bad about it, but I couldn’t live a lie either. If I had married Naomi, we would’ve wound up resenting each other.”
Caleb nodded, letting the words sink in. As usual, Sadie had it wrong. From what Timothy had described, Naomi wasn’t a desperate woman; she’d simply had her heart broken.
“But Naomi is a real nice maedel. We’re still friends.” Timothy hugged his coat to his chest. “It’s cold, ya?”
“It is December,” Caleb said. “What did you expect—a heat wave?”
Timothy chuckled. “I’m glad to see you’re still a wise guy.”
The door opened and banged shut, and Robert stepped out. “It’s cold out here. How can you sit out here and talk?”
“We can hear our thoughts out here, unlike in there,” Timothy said with a smile.
Robert chuckled. “Ya, the women and kinner are loud.” He looked toward the road. “I guess we better get going. The animals will be hungry.” He stepped back toward the door. “I’ll gather everyone up.”
Timothy stood. “We’ll get the buggies hitched.”
Caleb followed him to the barn. “It was gut visiting with you.”
“You should come by the shop and see me this week,” Timothy said as he opened the barn door.
“Ya, I will.” Caleb led Robert’s horse from the stall.
“You really should think about moving back here,” Timothy repeated, leading his horse out of the barn. “I know you could get a job building buggies here, or you could even start your own business. I’m certain you could get a loan and find some land.” Timothy snapped his fingers. “In fact, there’s some land with a big shop for sale by the furniture store. If you’d like, I could contact the owner and tell him—”
“Whoa!” Caleb held his hand up to silence his friend. “Slow down, Timothy. I just arrived yesterday, and I didn’t come with the intention of moving back.”
Timothy grinned. “I know you didn’t come with that intention, but you could leave with it.”
“Timothy!” a woman’s voice called. “Are we leaving? It’s getting late.”
“Caleb,” Timothy said with a sweeping gesture as the brunette approached. “This is Miriam Lapp. Miriam, this is Caleb Schmucker, my best friend from boyhood. He’s visiting from Ohio for Christmas.”
Caleb shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“You too,” she said with a smile. “I met your daughter, Susie. She’s a cutie.”
“Danki.” Caleb hitched Robert’s horse to the buggy while Timothy hitched his. “I guess I’ll see you again,” he said, climbing into the buggy seat.
“Ya,” Timothy said. “I expect to see you.”
“You will.” Caleb drove the buggy up to the porch, and Robert, Sadie, and the children piled in. As he steered onto the main road and headed toward their house, the children chattered about the upcoming school Christmas program.
He smiled as they talked, their voices filled with excitement, and he watched the snowflakes pelt the windshield. His thoughts turned to Naomi and Timothy’s story of how he broke her heart. He longed to talk to Naomi, to get to know her. But why? Why should he think of this woman when he was
only going to be in town a short while?
Unless he took Timothy’s advice and stayed …
He pushed the thoughts away as the horse clip-clopped down the road. He would only concentrate on spending time with his family. That was all that mattered. His family would get him through the second anniversary of Barbara’s death. He needed them now.
CHAPTER 5
Why do I have to go?” Naomi asked as she placed more cookies into the five-gallon bucket at her feet. “You can take my sisters and then bring them back when it’s over.”
Lilly tapped her finger on the counter with impatience. “Naomi, we discussed this. You’re expected to be at this cookie exchange.”
“No, I’m not.” Naomi continued to drop cookies into the bucket. “I don’t belong there. Sarah Rose and Miriam will both be there for sure. It’s going to be at the Kauffmans’ bakery, so it’s a Kauffman event.”
“So?” Lilly threw up her hands. “You’re a friend of the Kauffman family.”
“But you were invited, not me,” Naomi said, dropping the last of the sugar cookies into the bucket, filling it to the brim. “You’re Miriam’s sister. I’m just an ex-fiancée. You can’t get much more awkward than that.”
Lilly swiped an extra cookie from the counter. “You’re the only one who thinks it’s awkward. My sister happens to like you, and all the Kauffman sisters talk to you every time they see you. The only awkwardness is what you perceive in your head.” She bit the cookie and moaned. “These cookies are delicious. You really outdid yourself.”
“Danki,” Naomi muttered.
“You really need to get over this idea that the Kauffmans don’t like you. It’s simply not true,” Lilly said, lowering herself into a kitchen chair. “My sister is going to be a Kauffman, so that makes me a Kauffman by default. You’re my best friend, so you’re going to have to hang out with me and the Kauffmans.”
“You could never understand how I feel,” Naomi’s voice quavered as she swept the crumbs from the counter into the palm of her hand. “Every time I see them, I think of how I made a fool of myself. It’s hard to relive it over and over again.”
