by Bryan Cohen
Dhiraj supposed he shouldn't be surprised that Sheriff Norris was the one comforting his niece. She buried her face in his shoulder and left a lipstick stain on his neck.
Beth, whose top bordered on criminal, hugged Jennifer and then took a long look at Travis from top to bottom.
She whistled. "Hot damn. There really is nothing like a sweaty man late at night."
Winny pulled away from her uncle and joined her friend's side. "If I'm not mistaken, there are biceps on top of those biceps." She raised her eyes to his. "Hey Trav. Good to see you again."
It was tough to tell, as Travis had been flushed from his assault on the punching bag, but his cheeks seemed to turn a few shades darker.
The girls clacked off to the training area as the four fugitives gathered in a circle.
Dhiraj cracked a smile. "What was that all about, Trav?"
Travis shook his head. "Look, we made out at a party last year. No big deal."
Jennifer gave him a sidelong glance. "With both of them?"
His cheeks grew even redder. "Not at the same time."
The sheriff coughed. "We need to focus." He gripped his daughter's shoulder. "Can we trust them?"
The team looked over and saw Beth holding Winny's legs as the latter tried to do pull-ups.
Jennifer sighed. "I certainly hope so."
That's when the plan began to form in Dhiraj's mind. He hadn't been sure how they'd infiltrate the sheriff's old office, but Beth and Winny might've been the puzzle pieces that would complete the picture.
Dhiraj gripped Jennifer's hand. "I've got a little play in mind for our friends." He met her glance. "Think you can help me with the script?"
She grinned. "With pleasure."
An hour after Beth and Winny had entered the lair, Dhiraj and the gang put their plan into action. The nondescript van was parked just outside the lot beside a chain link fence covered with brush. It didn't take long for Dhiraj to tap into the Sheriff Department security feed using the equipment from the rally. It was warmer in the van with four people than it'd been with two, but the sheriff said they should stick together in case things go south.
Dhiraj turned his head to the side. "What could possibly go wrong?"
Sheriff pointed to Beth and Winny, who were trying to take a selfie when Jennifer smacked the phone out of their hands.
Dhiraj nodded. "Okay. We'll stick together."
The two short-skirted secret agents were in position by the side of the building. Jennifer sat in the chair beside Dhiraj, while Travis nervously paced using the little room he had available. Sheriff Norris sat in the front seat in case they needed to make a quick getaway. All of them were tapped into the same radio feed.
With everything in place, including microphones hidden under the shirts of their two spies, Winny walked barefoot into the Sheriff's Department. She stumbled right by a DHS agent, one of two such sentries who were posted at the building all day long. The man didn't even flinch, as he was there for one purpose alone: to catch Erica, Dhiraj or any of the other fugitives who tried to come back home. Winny walked right up to the main reception area and leaned her elbows on the desk. The officer on duty shook himself awake and tended to his station.
"Can I help you, Miss?"
Winny let out an audible groan. "Yes! I'd like to report a theft." She pointed downward. "Somebody stole my shoes!"
Dhiraj laughed and looked at Jennifer. "Really?"
Jen stared straight into the monitor. "It's not the first time this has happened."
The officer sighed. "Fine. Whatever." He pulled out a piece of paper from below the desk. "Fill out this form and bring it back up here."
Winny lifted her chin high. "Thank you, fine sir. You'll get a medal for this."
Dhiraj whispered into his headset. "Overselling it, Winny."
Winny nodded to the air and snatched a pen before sitting down in the lobby. The one other person waiting beside her scooted a few chairs over before eventually crossing to the other side of the room.
Dhiraj nodded. "This could actually work." He took in a deep breath. "Let's start the second act. Beth, it's time to shine."
There was silence on the other end of the line.
Dhiraj's stomach squeezed. "Beth?"
He could hear her lips form into a smile through the mic. "I think Travis should wish me good luck first."
All the eyes in the van turned toward him. Travis shook his head. "Come on, guys."
Jennifer huffed. "Just do it."
"I don't want to!"
Dhiraj poked him. "For the good of the team?"
Travis grumbled. He walked over to the mic and flipped on the switch. "Good luck, Beth."
Beth sighed happily and strode toward the front door of the building. With the first step she took inside, Beth fell face first to the ground right in front of the DHS agent.
Dhiraj grimaced, until he heard her out-of-control giggling. When the DHS agent helped her to her feet, she wrapped her arm around his.
"Hey, big boy." She thrust out her chest. "Is this where the party's at?"
While Dhiraj couldn't tell if the agent looked down at her cleavage, he'd be surprised if the man hadn't. The agent said nothing as he led Beth toward the front desk. She started laughing again for no reason at all.
Dhiraj's mouth hung upon. "She's really good."
Jennifer chuckled. "She's had the practice. Winny, wait until all eyes are on Beth."
Before Beth could reach the desk, she tripped and fell to the ground again. This time she refused help from the agent.
"No. Let me rest down here." She smiled dreamily. "Unless you want to lie down here with me. That could be real nice."
The officer from behind the desk and the other DHS agent convened by Beth's side. The girl laughed loudly, and Winny took that as her cue to move. The camera feed showed Jennifer's cousin slip down the vacant hallway and into the sheriff's office. As she closed the door behind her, Dhiraj switched to the feed for that room. He watched as Winny removed the painting from behind the sheriff's desk to reveal the wall safe.
She began to enter the combination. "I feel like a sexy cat burglar. Do I look like a sexy cat burglar, Travis?"
Travis didn't hesitate this time. He leaned into the mic. "Yes, you look very cat-like."
As she opened the safe, Dhiraj watched one of the DHS agents get up from Beth's side and look around the room.
"Hey! Where'd the other girl go?"
Dhiraj's throat closed up. "Beth, go big or go home!"
With that, Beth began to scream. The agent withdrew his question and knelt back by the girl's side.
Beth breathed heavily. "Oh my gosh. I think the baby's coming!"
Dhiraj threw up his hands. "I didn't mean go off script!" He huffed. "You've got about 30 seconds, Winny."
He watched on the screen as Winny gathered the books and the sword into a bag she'd snuck in. She shut the safe with a thunk, and Dhiraj could see the agent's ears perk up immediately after. He stood up and tried to leave, but Beth grabbed his ankle.
"Wait! Could you help me raise him?"
Dhiraj's face twitched. "Winny, get out of there!"
Winny put the painting back in place, opened the window and hopped down to the grass below. By the time the agents and the officer got to the room, there was no trace left of her. When they got back to the hallway, the collapsed drunk girl was gone as well.
Dhiraj and the gang said their goodbyes to Beth and Winny the next morning, just outside the town limits. Everyone was in good spirits, and even Travis gave them a hug. They all ignored Beth lingering far too long with her hands around his waist.
Jennifer was all smiles. "You guys were amazing last night."
Winny smirked. "That's what he said." She took her cousin's hand. "If there's anything else we can do, we'd be happy to help. That's what family's for."
Jennifer hugged Winny one last time before they hopped back in the van and headed to the farm.
Dhiraj held Jennife
r's hand in his as he looked back at the "Now Leaving Treasure" sign. They had the books, and he was sure that Erica would retrieve the staff. If all went well, maybe the next time they crossed the city limits, everything would be back to normal.
15
Over an hour passed before Ted was taken from the ship. Even though he knew he was surrounded by dark souls, he did his best to reach Natalie's mind with his words. He wasn't sure how much she'd heard, if anything at all. That didn't stop him from trying, even when a half dozen guards shrouded in black surrounded him on the way down the ship's ramp. The armor underneath their capes made a sound like a chain-link fence with every step.
The castle was ancient and magical. There was something about it that made him think of the nerdy medieval video games he'd played as a kid. He'd even played a few with the old Erica before she'd moved on to popularity. The guards stopped in front of an ornate golden door. It opened with a sound that rattled the hallway. They ushered him inside and shut the door behind him. For a moment, he thought he might be alone, but two more guards stood in front of a much taller door. Its height was on the verge of ridiculous. Ted looked up at the decorations on the wall. The jewels that covered the shields and staffs above reminded him of the markings on the side of the ancient sword he'd used to dispatch Nigel and the Torellos. He wondered how his weapon and the items above could be connected, when the guards each slammed their staffs to the ground in unison.
He pursed his lips together. "I haven't exactly studied the dark soul handbook, but I assume you want me to come over?"
The dark souls guarding the chamber didn't respond, but Ted took their silence for a yes. He approached and stood in front of the second massive doorway. Ted thought back to what the soldiers had said when he and Natalie were taken from the village alley. They'd mentioned the General wanted a word with them. Was that the person behind these oversized doors? Ted swallowed as they opened.
He supposed he shouldn't be shocked by how long the room was, given how much castle they'd spied from the ship, but he was surprised anyway. He crossed at least 50 feet of red carpet before the throne at the end came into view. The walls on either side were carved with the faces of creatures he hoped he'd never see. The artwork was stunning and grotesque. Ted turned his attention toward the bronze throne. Cloaked in shadow, a man sat on the edge of the seat.
No. Not a man. A boy.
"I've been waiting a long time to meet you."
Ted hadn't spoken, but it sounded as if he had. It took a moment to realize the voice had come from the boy sitting before him. He was dressed similarly as the guards, though everything he wore seemed a little more ornate. His armor was more like crystal than chain mail. It made his midsection look like a diamond, which continued to draw attention away from his shadowy face. The boy hopped off the throne and walked into the light.
Ted couldn't believe his eyes. The boy was a carbon copy of Ted from the top to the bottom. The same height. The same dark hair and bone structure. If it weren't for the difference in clothing, then Ted might've thought he was looking in a mirror.
Ted put his hand on his chin. "How?"
The General smiled. "It's a mystery to us, too. When people told me there was a resemblance, I didn't realize it'd be so exact."
Ted leafed through his brain for words, but none came. Despite the lack of speech, he did remember himself enough to bow in front of the most important man on this side of the planet.
The General took him by the shoulders and lifted him up. "Come, come. We're like brothers. There's no need for that. I'd like to show you something."
The General walked toward a side door Ted hadn't previously seen. Ted caught up and the guards in the room followed close behind them.
Butterflies bounced like cannonballs in his stomach. "How'd you know we were here?"
The General stared straight ahead. "This is my planet. The more I don't know, the more likely I am to lose everything." He knocked on the door and it opened from the outside. Light came streaming in, causing both of them to blink. "So stuffy in there. Follow me."
The General continued to walk at a breathtaking pace, and Ted struggled to keep up. The cool air whipped past his face. From their vantage point, Ted could see that this was one of the highest points of the entire castle. Below them, he could make out the tops of other towers and several banners he didn't recognize. Even the castle from his Redican-inspired dream earlier that year paled in comparison to the reality before him.
The General laughed. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were excited to be here."
Ted took his eyes away from sightseeing. "It's like nothing I've ever seen before."
The General nodded. "My predecessor wanted this to be a structure unparalleled on all other worlds. He succeeded, though I hear that skyscraper in Dubai is pretty impressive."
The General came to a stop at the edge of the walkway. He motioned for Ted to look over the side. While a part of Ted didn't want to trust the dark soul leader so close to the edge of the tallest tower he'd ever seen, Ted figured the General wouldn't bring him all this way just to push him off a building. He glanced down.
Ted's jaw hit the floor. "There are so many of them."
Far below his feet, Ted watched as tens of thousands soldiers sparred with each other. In one section, the dark souls worked on hand-to-hand combat. In another, they shot at targets using energy blasters. In the far section, Ted made out a training arena for Lychos and Draconfolk.
They'd destroy us all in a week.
Ted looked up to the General, doing his best to look calm and unimpressed. "Quite an army you've got there, General."
The General grinned. "Enough with the formalities. Please, call me William."
16
Kit Kable leaned back onto his stool during his town hall-style debate with President Blake. The room seemed pretty unimpressive to him with its green carpet and ’70s sense of style. Terry told him it looked better on TV, so he tried to ignore the feeling that he was in high school again. The audience was filled with bright-eyed college kids and downtrodden adults who’d play well enough on camera. He looked around and thought just how puny and insignificant the entire room was compared to him. He’d been chosen to protect the world, and now he was in the process of saving it from itself. The plight of some bankrupt bean farmer from Tennessee didn’t mean much in his grand scheme of things.
Kable set his smile at neutral as the President stood to answer the latest question. Though Ted Finley’s name hadn’t come up yet, Kable could read the living soul’s name on the edge of the next speaker’s lips. A college-aged girl with more piercings than hair took the microphone. He held back a sigh as he thought about Sandra and watched the counter-culture twenty-something intently.
She held the mic up to her mouth. “President Blake. Two weeks ago, you declared war on the other world and put distance between your administration and superhero Ted Finley.” She paused to gather herself. “Do you think he’s gone missing because of you?”
Kable considered restraint, but he figured now was as good a time to go for the jugular as any. He beamed a thought right into the girl’s mind.
She held the mic tight as her eyes welled up with tears. “Because it’s pretty obvious to me that we need him now more than ever.”
The girl nearly dropped the mic as she handed it back. Kable knew she’d be scolded for going off script, but now it was out there and her emotion hung thick in the air. Blake remained composed on camera, though Kable loved imagining the standing President squirming behind closed doors.
Kable had flown into a rage when Blake made his impromptu announcement about the administration’s policy on Ted. When the hero disappeared, however, Kable never anticipated the blame to land squarely on the White House. Between learning about the double life Sandra was leading and the hero’s vacation, Blake’s numbers dipped to toilet levels. If Kable rode this one out for the next couple of weeks, he’d be the one sitting atop the U.S. throne.
B
lake nodded a few times and showed a face of resolve. “We always need heroes. From the firefighters pulling us from harm to the policemen patrolling our streets.” He let a smile slip through. “The system works because we trust our protectors. When we lose that trust, the relationship simply doesn’t work.” Blake took two meaningful steps toward the crowd. “The actions of Erica LaPlante and her associates have called our trust of Ted Finley into question.” He turned back and gestured toward Kable. “These fugitives from justice attacked my opponent. While we may not see eye-to-eye on the issues, I’d protect Kit’s life with my own any day of the week.”
As soon as he finished, the crowd’s applause burst out like an open soda that'd been shaken one too many times. Kable detected the slightest hint of a wink in Blake’s expression.
Well done. You didn’t become the top dog by accident.
Kable stood and gave a few eyebrow raises in Blake’s direction. “For your benefit, Mr. President, I’ll try not to get in any more trouble.”
The audience chortled, and Kable got a thumbs-up from his campaign manager Terry far behind the cameras. As Blake returned to his stool, another average citizen took the mic. He had a hipster look about him with his bushy beard being his most notable feature.
His voice had a higher pitch than Kable expected as he spoke into the mic. “Senator Kable, while we’re on the subject of Ted, I’d like to ask you about the Free Ted Movement.”
Terry had first sent word about the campaign as Kable healed from his gunshot wounds in the hospital. In the same way that Go Home Alien had been a massive social media trend, #FreeTed became a global sensation. The movement began right after Blake’s declaration, but it kicked into high gear in the days following the rally. Even a collection of A-list celebrities had lent their voices to the cause, though Kable assumed that had more to do with the in-development Ted origin story blockbuster movie than it did with his criminal accusations.
The man and his beard continued. “Millions of people have shared their support to exonerate Ted and Erica. If you become President, how will you address the members of this group?”
