Well. This Astra hadn’t died yet. And a hero up against impossible odds was just the sort to make that happen.
“He’s not alone!” Joey yelled after The Dark. “He has a team with him.”
“Teamwork is overrated,” The Dark growled.
Such a charming man.
We found Griff on the floor in the smashed remains of a museum dedicated to Megadethra’s space costumes. He was bleeding from the forehead, which suggested he had also recently had a brain-altering jewel removed.
“Is it possible she lured us here for some kind of insurance scam?” I said faintly. “Or was her plan actually for us to trash the place? Maybe she wants an excuse to redecorate.”
“Which way did Solar go?” The Dark demanded of Griff.
“Through the door with the pearl dolphins,” said his sidekick. “I’m fine, by the way. No lingering trauma from being hypnotised and forced to battle a pack of my friends. Cheers for the concern.”
The Dark kept moving.
Joey and I helped Griff up.
“A pack?” I asked.
“Oh, the gang’s all here,” Griff said bitterly.
“Danni, then.”
“And Buckshot,” Joey said archly. “And the last two members of Australia’s Mightiest Heroes, which means there is literally no one defending our country from mad scientists and giant robots right now.”
“They brought the mad scientist with them too,” Griff grumbled. “Just wait until I get my hands on the brat.”
We found The Dark standing on the edge of a giant, gleaming silver techno ampitheatre.
Below us, a man faced off against Astra. She was still under the control of what The Dark had referred to as a Thoughtgem. She wore a bright purple tiara with an enormous jewel in it, which was not a standard feature of her uniform. Her eyes glowed amethyst purple, and she howled like an enraged space-beast.
I quietly mourned the fact that I had missed the chance to see Griff wearing a tiara.
Old Man Solar had indeed brought a posse with him. Surf and New Catsuit, the last remaining members of Australia’s Mightiest Superheroes. Danni, AKA Previous Catsuit, along with her fiancé, the gun-toting Buckshot.
And…
“Liam, what the hell?” Griff roared.
The teenager, perched on one of the tiers of seats, turned around. “Oh, hey.”
“What are you even doing here?”
“Fighting evil, obviously.” He waved a tablet at us. “Well, organising the fight against evil. Did you know Astra is evil now? I’ll have to update my spreadsheet.”
“It’s temporary.”
Liam looked past Griff to me. “You also brought a civilian, I see.”
“That’s… not the point,” Griff sputtered.
“You’re Friday Valentina,” the teen boffin said in a deadpan voice that could give The Dark a run for his money.
“Yes… we met in the lab. And my house. You don’t like cookies.”
“I watch your vlog.”
“Okay?”
He frowned up at me. “Do you need a camera?”
Before I could say anything, the kid was unpacking a rucksack full of tech. He handed me a small, top of the range digital camera.
My mouth opened and closed a few times, like a goldfish. “Okay, Griff,” I said finally. “I’m stealing your sidekick. He’s mine now.”
“He’s not my sidekick,” said Griff.
“If anything,” said Liam. “He’s my sidekick.”
I had my weapon of choice now, and was recording the scene even before Liam had finished his sentence. My mother joined us at the precipice of the amphitheatre, watching as The Dark strode down the aisle towards the action.
“Where did you get that camera?” Mum asked in a low voice.
“Jealous much?”
“CLANCY!” The Dark roared.
As everyone hesitated, Danni hurled what looked like a throwing star at Astra’s right side. While Astra deflected it with a forcefield, Buckshot got off one perfect round, smashing the purple Thoughtgem in the a tiara on top of her head.
Astra gasped in a lungful of air, recovering her sensibilities. Her record of not being killed in action continued. No one paid this any attention, because something far more newsworthy occurred in the same moment.
The man who used to be Solar ran up the aisle of the amphitheatre, two steps at a time, and The Dark swept down those same steps towards him.
They collided together violently, like every splash page of hero versus nemesis ever drawn. But they weren’t fighting.
They were kissing, like their lives depended on it.
Mother of the Year
AS THE SHOCK WORE OFF, I realised that I had been covertly filming a pair of male, closeted superheroes making out with each other, and that was not okay. With a shaky hand, I hit the stop button on the camera.
I didn’t delete the footage right away. But I was going to have to, wasn’t I? That wasn’t even a decision.
“Good call,” my mother said as I lowered the camera.
“I wouldn’t…”
“I know, sweetie.” There was something very soft in her voice.
“You knew about this, too,” I said with a wave in the direction of the clinching couple. “Is that why you never denied a relationship with Solar? To protect their secret?”
“Partly,” admitted Mum. “Though by the time I realised the whole world believed I was in love with Solar, a denial wouldn’t have made any difference anyway.”
Solar and The Dark were still locked together, kissing furiously.
“Wow,” I said after a moment.
Everyone around us had stopped and were waiting politely for them to do the same.
“I know, right?” said Mum. “They’re both way hotter when they’re not talking.”
“I could break the Internet so hard,” I breathed. How had they kept it under wraps for so long?
“You can never tell anyone,” Mum said sternly. “Journalistic ethics 101.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Also people ethics, Mother. I’m not going to out anyone.”
Buckshot, Original Catsuit, Astra and Griff all wore resigned expressions that suggested they had walked in on these two getting busy on a couch far too often. Joey at least looked as surprised as I felt. She hadn’t been around to witness her predecessor’s covert and clearly long-established relationship with The Dark.
Joey looked at me and mimed her mind being blown.
I know, right? I mouthed back.
Something else was happening. The walls shifted and slid around us. The ceiling was getting lower. Metal and glass panels pushed up out of the amphitheatre seats.
The Dark and Solar pulled back from their epic reunion kiss.
A platform of chrome and glass descended from the ceiling. Megadethra stood there, clothed in several strips of what also looked like chrome and glass. Her green hair spiralled up into a high ponytail, glowing with fairy lights and silver wires.
“Finally, here we all are,” she said, arms in the air like she was Lady Gaga welcoming her adoring fans to an epic final concert. “I knew you’d come, Solar.”
Solar Classic turned to face her, without moving from The Dark’s side. “I didn’t come for you,” he said in distaste. “Our era is over. If you want to keep invading the Earth I can’t stop you. But if you’re after some kind of grand showdown, I hate to break it to you, but I’m a lightweight these days. No match for you.” He stretched his arms wide. “Shoot me, I’m fish in a barrel.”
The Dark grabbed at his arm crossly. “Can you not do that? She might take you up on it.”
“She wants a fight, and I can’t give her one,” Solar Classic—no, let’s just call him Clancy—argued. “I only got this far because of our friends.” He gestured to those he
had brought with him: Buckshot, Surf and the Catsuits.
If I was making a vid about this day’s many conflicts and revelations—which, I was starting to accept, I never would—I would be sure to investigate exactly how Buckshot got hold of so many useful robot minion-smashing weapons, as a private citizen. Clearly, the man had contacts.
“We have a lot of heroes here,” said The Dark. “They can handle it.”
Clancy laughed bitterly. “While I stay safely back with the children? That’s not going to work, A. She didn’t summon us here for a group bonding activity. The only fight she wants is with me.”
“Exactly,” said Megadethra, still posing for all she was worth. Her body shimmered with weapons—I counted at least twelve different kinds of blaster, strapped to her thighs and hips and arms. “You get me, Solar. I know you weren’t going to run off into the sunset without giving me one last chance to defeat you. Don’t worry. I plan to make this a fair fight. I’m sure you all noticed where you’re standing.”
The architecture around us took on a whole new significance. “This place wasn’t just made by the same people who made the Machines,” I said, realising.
My mother looked at me in horror. “This is a Machine,” she said.
“Liam, stay close,” I yelped. The three of us: me, the kid and Tina Valentina, were the only humans who had never been inside the Hero Machine back in the Sydney Sky Tower. I could see the others realising it, heroes current and former alike.
Sparks flew from Astra’s hands. Heat built up in Joey, making her eyes and arms glow like freshly forged steel. New Catsuit flicked her fingers, and a purple baton slid out of empty air, smacking into her palm. Ooh, that was a new power I’d never seen before.
The walls hummed around us. Lights flashed. My vision swirled, making me dizzy.
Griff fell to his knees. “This is—” he choked. “It’s taking my power.” Across the amphitheatre, all of the “current” heroes were similarly affected. New Catsuit swayed, and the baton in her hand flickered. Joey and Astra looked at each other in horror. Surf, who had been hovering several feet above the ground on a wave of energy, hit the ground hard, but stayed upright.
The Dark fell. Actually fell, flat on his back, along one of the steel rows of the amphitheatre, with a terrifying thump. Solar grabbed for him too late. “A?”
“I can’t move my legs,” said The Dark, in a flat voice as if this was something he had been waiting for, expecting all of his life. “I can’t—” He gave an inaudible growl of frustration.
I could feel it, the powers swirling around us, a frenetic energy of life and light. It made me feel sick and at the same time, it made me feel strong.
“Let’s redistribute the wealth, shall we?” declared Megadethra. “How would our civilians feel about getting a little of the juice they’ve been missing out on?”
There were six of each, I realised in a dawning kind of horror. The Dark, Astra, Surf, New Catsuit, Solar and Griff with the Kid Dark powers he never gave back. Six of us “civilians”—Tina Valentina, me, Liam, Buckshot, Danni, Clancy.
Danni cried out, her body sparking up with Astra’s powers. She glowed white and silver all over. Her blonde hair rippled out, speckled with stars. It was shorter a minute ago. “I didn’t ask for this,” she shouted.
“But you can’t resist it,” smirked Megadethra. “You accepted the gift once.”
My mother dragged Liam and I to the ground, covering us with her body, half hug and half shield.
“You’ve never wanted to be a superhero, right?” she muttered urgently.
“Not even a little bit,” I promised her.
“Good. Concentrate on that. The Machine has a history of taking our wishes into account.”
“So like the Sorting Hat in Harry Potter?” I gasped. The air tasted like metal, and lemons.
“You’re such a nerd,” said my mother, and kissed the top of my head. “I love you, sweetie.”
“I love you too,” I told her, and then concentrated all my thoughts into “not Slytherin”, only in my case it was “not superhero, not superhero.”
I thought of Joey, and her hand. We had talked about it in that interview, a million years ago, when we were both sixteen and knew nothing about the world. The Machine had flicked between options, letting her choose if she wanted to keep her curve, or grow a new hand.
This was a different Machine. There was no guarantee it would work the same way.
“I was a supervillain once,” said Liam conversationally.
“Not now dear,” said my mother. “You can tell us about it later.”
I heard Buckshot shout in surprise. “I didn’t—”
“Hey, maybe this time you can wear the catsuit,” said Danni. At least someone was still quipping.
“Such a spoilsport, Tina Valentina!” Megadethra yelled out, as the three of us concentrated hard on rejecting the powers she was trying to force inside us. “I guess Solar’s going to have to take more than his fair share. All the better to create a worthy adversary.”
When I dared to lift my head and peek at what was happening, I saw Clancy Bunning rise from The Dark’s side. “I agree with you, Megadethra,” he said calmly. “All this power, all this energy. Solar is absolutely the best person to absorb all that.”
“So glad you agree,” Megadethra hissed.
Clancy smiled.
Joey screamed. Her whole body shook, and her skin literally flashed different colours—light and dark, green and purple.
“Oh,” said Danni as if she finally got what needed to happen, and she made a wild gesture at Joey. The fierce Astra powers bled out of her like she’d struck an artery. They smacked Joey in the face.
“Right,” said Buckshot, and he threw Catsuit’s powers at Joey too.
Joey rose in the air, still screaming as the powers took her over, but it wasn’t in pain any more, it was exultation. She closed her mouth, spread her arms wide, and white fire bled from her eyes.
“WRONG SOLAR!” Megadethra screamed, not used to being thwarted.
“I’M RETIRED!” Clancy bellowed back at her. “She is Solar now. That’s what a Legacy means. And she’s very, very good!”
Joey glowed. She whipped her arms around and sparks rolled off her. The metal panels peeled off the walls, curling down like wallpaper that had finally given up the ghost.
“No!” screamed Megadethra.
“Admit it, Meg!” yelled my mother, who couldn’t help getting in on the drama. “She’s a worthy opponent!”
“Shut up!” I muttered. “I don’t want every date I go on with Joey to be interrupted by an intergalactic nemesis. That’s actually worse than if you made that bitch my stepmother.”
“I know I taught you not to use that word,” said Mum. “Even about back-stabbing space tyrants with terrible taste in outfits.”
“I know, right? Is she wearing a cosmic bikini or a toaster?”
Megadethra made her choice. She screamed like she was channeling every Hammer Horror movie screened on Earth between 1935 and 1979, and she threw everything she had at my future girlfriend.
Solar fought back.
It was an epic duel. With all these enhanced and borrowed powers, Solar was mighty in a way she had never been before, and that’s saying something when you’re talking about a robot punching, planet-shoving, super strong warrior babe who does it all one handed.
Mum, Liam and I headed down to where The Dark was sitting on the ground of the arena, having angrily shoved off his boyfriend’s attempts to help him do so. The others came over to watch the fight with us.
I’m not even kidding about this part: Megadethra’s robot minions brought us drinks and snacks after the first half hour.
“She really is quite impressive,” said Liam, as Joey landed a powerful punch on Megadethra, knocking her so hard against the wall that it l
eft a queen-sized dent.
“Get in line, kid,” I told him.
The final battle between (New) Solar and (Old) Megadethra lasted three hours and forty-five minutes. I recorded some of it, on the off chance that I felt like presenting any of this to my channel someday. Or so I could brag about kissing the reigning champion of space, whatever.
When they were done, they were both utterly wrecked, but still vibrating with power. Joey made a cage from pieces of the Machine she had telekinetically ripped from the walls, and trapped Megadethra inside until she surrendered.
“Perhaps you are a worthy opponent after all,” said Megadethra, her eyes gleaming with avarice. “Aren’t you a little grateful? I made you the Mightiest Hero in Australia. The only hero.”
“No,” said Joey, wiping a strand of hair out of her face. She looked proud of herself, and a little bit smug. I bet this was how she looked after really great sex, and I wanted to find out if that was true. “You didn’t give me that. I’m not your Legacy. Take this for what it is, Megadethra. Closure. This is a brave new world, a new generation of heroes, and I want my own nemesis. You’re not in my league.”
She turned, spread her arms wide, and flung the powers back where they belonged. The Dark groaned as he regained not only his sharper reflexes, but his ability to use his legs. He rolled to his feet in a practiced move, radiating barely-restrained fury. Astra threw back her head and breathed in her stars and sparks and brightness. New Catsuit grinned with delight as she got back her mojo, and conjured the baton again to prove it to herself. Surf made a loud yodelling cry of triumph, and rode an energy wave all the way over to wrap Joey in a bone-cracking hug.
Griff, beside me, barely reacted. He looked a little surprised, though, as if he hadn’t expected to get his powers back at all. He was the one who wasn’t supposed to have them anymore. But Joey wasn’t the power police. She gave back exactly what had been taken.
With grace and dignity, my mother stalked over to where Megadethra sagged inside the metallic cage. “You owe me the rest of that interview,” she said sharply. “Before we let you out.”
Girl Reporter Page 9
