by Rane, April
Desimena looked thoughtful. “Well, let me put it this way. The lessons are ongoing and they seem to come in cycles like this.” She pointed to the wall above the waterfall, and magically circles appeared. “The lessons are inter-linked.” As she declared that, the circles joined and formed a ladder moving higher and higher. “But learning can stop for some who are not interested in growing. These beings become stagnant and they move from one lifetime to the next repeating old cycles.”
“How many lives have I lived?” asked Aradia.
“Many people on earth and other cosmic systems have lived hundreds of thousands of lives!”
“Hundreds and…?”
Desimena raised her hand. “Well…suffice it to say you are but a child in this process. Your journey began when you were drawn to a matriarchal society on the Moon and…”
“Diana! Oh I remember!” Aradia cried. “I can see her in my mind’s eye, an exquisite goddess, sitting on a window bench dressed in emerald green and around her neck there is a tear shaped necklace and a crown on her head with emeralds that look like stars. I can see it, and I feel it too!”
Aradia covered her heart with her hand and a tear formed in the corner of her eye.
“I see her addressing me with love, but there is great sadness in her heart. She is sending me away! Oh, I remember now, she sent me to earth! I can’t remember the rest. I am awfully weary.”
Desimena’s eyes reflected love and pride as she said, “Soon we will speak more of what you have learned on your journey to earth, but now it is time to rest.”
Aradia arched and stretched her sleek body as she awoke from a deep slumber. Dreamily pushing back her full rich hair, she found herself unable to remember where she was. In a rush, all that had been happening in the last few days came back. Or… could she think of it as days, for there seemed to be no night. She reached out her hand as if to touch the luminous quality of the light that always shone.
Desimena approached, her tall, lithe body glowing with positive energy.
“You are well rested,” she said. “That is good. Come, take my hand. We are going on a very special journey. We are going to visit your grandmother.”
“But she will not know I am there,” Aradia protested. “I…”
“Perhaps you underestimate her,” said Desimena, her eyes sparkling.
Aradia’s grandmother was in a place that Aradia did not recognize. The bed had numerous blankets and looked soft and comfortable. The hut was spacious and sturdy. There was a small table covered with potions and herbs, and the sweet smell of jasmine wafted through the night air.
Aradia crouched down by the bed and spoke quietly, stroking her grandmother’s hair, eliciting no response. But still she kept whispering. She had so much to thank her grandmother for that she poured her heart out and just when she thought she was not being heard, saw a tear forming in the corner of the old woman’s eye.
“Eurynome,” she murmured. “I feel you. I hear words in my head that only you would say. I miss you. I knew you’d come. Stay with me a while.”
The tears slipped down parched and weathered skin, and her hand reached up as her granddaughter stroked her forehead, and in a while she slept, a deep and peaceful rest.
“You did well when you visited your grandmother,” Desimena told her, beaming with satisfaction. “You can visit her again. I will teach you how to go by yourself. But now we are going to learn more about the soul, this time on a personal level.”
Aradia had learned that this palatial setting was called the Temple of Knowledge. They were in their usual ‘classroom’ that overlooked a floral garden teeming with color and wildlife.
When Desimena moved toward the wall and waved her hand, a light shone and a circle appeared.
“We will suppose this is the whole of creation, though it cannot be contained,” she explained. “Show me your soul.”
“I can’t,” Aradia told her. “There are no smaller circles.”
Desimena tilted her chiseled face in a questioning manner, the splash of stars that ran across her cheekbones glittering in the luminous light.
“Here, follow me,” she said after a long pause. “Let us take a stroll down to the ocean.” Moving gracefully, she began to walk out of the room and into the mysterious wide corridor that opened to the anteroom.
Aradia looked about her in awe, as slowly the otherworldly magnificence of this extraordinary sanctuary of wisdom unfolded before her eyes.
“Ah, yes child,” Desimena murmured. “We have been so busy with our lessons that I have forgotten to show you its splendor.”
The enormous building was bathed in delicate radiance which came from openings in the gracefully slanted high ceiling. Aradia followed, forgetting her thoughts of an ocean as the corridors and rooms before her came alive with shadowed robed figures moving with slow deliberate intent in the hushed atmosphere.
The temple hummed with excitement though very few words were exchanged. Rather there was an aloofness of total concentration that emitted from each person.
Aradia beckoned quietly to Desimena to pause, so that she could peek into one of the rooms. Seeing the shelves lined with gold embossed volumes, and many huge maps sprawled on an array of tables that were dotted with small intricate tools, left Aradia awestruck. Watching hooded figures bending over charts and diagrams, she exclaimed,“I must know what they are doing! I want to understand!”
“Of course you do! But one thing at a time!”
Taking Aradia’s hand, Desimena led her outside through an oversized entrance hall where two mammoth golden pillars graced the doorway and opened to a tiled terrace of muted shades of sand. A curved stairway led down into stepping-stone paths bordered with flowers and shrubs.
Aradia, taking it all in, moved slowly, her face and eyes shimmering with questions. Over the doorway they had just come through, she saw the words ‘Thine own self thou must know.’
Walking the path closest to the temple, they rounded the corner and there before her was water as far as the eye could see. Foam and seaweed washed up on shore in white-sea capped waves.
“The ocean at last!”Aradia cried. “I made it to the ocean!”
Desimena watched adoringly as the young woman played in the waves like a child. It was, she thought, easy to see why Aradia was interested in the mission of bringing sorcery to women. There’s passion running through her veins. She has a thirst for knowledge, a lust for life, the heart of a child, and the mind of a warrior. A most interesting combination!
Desimena made a cup with her hands and motioned for Aradia to bring her some water.
Draped with seaweed, she responded to Desimena’s call by emerging from the waves laughingly and with a small amount of water in her hands. Desimena touched one of her fingers to the water. A drop clung tenaciously to her delicate finger.
“All that is can exist in this one drop,” Desimena told her. Then, taking Aradia’s hands, she slowly opened them. The glistening water slipped from her hands and disappeared back into the gently rolling waves.
“And yet all that is cannot be contained in this ocean, this world, the earth, the sky or anything known. For Source, God/Goddess is unknowable.” Desimena scooped up a handful of water and said, “This is your soul… how is it different from the ocean?”
Aradia stood in quiet wonder, feeling every word that her teacher spoke.
“When I hold this water, it becomes individual, yet it contains the essence of the ocean.” Desimena spun around, creating a sparkling aura of color, her words reverberating over the waves and misty shore.
“All that you see… and all that is unseen is consciousness,” she continued. “When you first decided to live in a body, you emerged from non-physical consciousness and became physical consciousness. You were having an experience in a body.
“Your soul is the bridge that keeps you connected to pure consciousness from one lifetime to the next. Your soul stays in contact with you at all times through your emotions. If you are happy your soul expands
. If you feel the discomfort of angry, resentment, judgment or vindictiveness your soul begins to contract, because these emotions are the opposite of love, and the simple truth is…that love expands and hate contracts!”
Later in the day they walked pensively along the ocean, each with deep churning emotions. Aradia’s earlier happiness had allowed the timelessness that was part of the etheric realm to weave and bend, to play like drops of rain on a rainbow and shatter the endless hour-glass of time. Yet each knew that on earth time existed, and soon Aradia would re-incarnate.
“Now comes the hard part!” Desimena declared on their next meeting. “Now that you remember, you must participate in a life review. You must look at your judgments and harsh feelings toward men. As you view your lives on earth, do it with no reserve.”
“Am I to go back soon?” Aradia asked.
“Oh yes…yes, of course you are,” came the laughing reply.
In the viewing room, Aradia quietly observed the day her mother Diana, Goddess of the Moon, had sent her on the mission of teaching herbs and sorcery to women on earth. Dispatched from her comfortable position as teacher and beloved daughter on the moon, she was to assist women on earth to understand their personal power. Unfortunately, she thought, she had abused her own!
Next, the short lives she lived as Aradia and Eurynome played out on the screen. She made mental notes of questions she wished to ask. Recognizing her anger in the last days of Aradia and how it carried over to Eurynome, she winced. How had she become so cynical in so few years on earth she wondered?
“What do you think?”Desimena asked, seeing Aradia’s contemplative demeanor.
“I am definitely learning the hard way,” Aradia told her. “Making war on men is warring with half of me! I like being free and independent, but it does not have to come at the expense of hating or distrusting men. If I get it right in this lifetime, perhaps I won’t have to come back….I”
Desimena interrupted, her face was a mask, unreadable except for the slightest hint of a raised eyebrow.
“Well…let us think of life as a play, with numerous acts. In act-one you placed a curse on your lover that would last into seven generations. Did you think you could be an observer in the play? No. You might take on different roles, but in the end ‘the play must go on,’ and you are to have a starring role.” Desimena became very still, allowing Aradia to absorb all that she had just said.
As Aradia nodded yes, her titian hair framed her exquisite face, and slowly her eyes began to show complete acceptance and greater understanding.
“Yes, well….that being so, you said that I will have a mate in this lifetime. How will I learn to accept my personal power if that is the case?”
“So… even here on this side of the veil, you as a woman believe you can’t have a mate and still hold onto your individuality,” Desimena said reflectively. “You still believe you cannot be powerful in your own right, make your own decisions and have an opinion, if there is a man in your life.
“I shall answer your question this way. You have taken my counsel, and chosen to work on the Sacred Rays in sequence. During your first life you explored the Red Ray. As Eurynome, you delved deeply, and with great results, into the Orange Ray and now you will be working on the Yellow Ray. Perhaps you can turn it into gold! I guess we will just have to see.”
“Remind me of the lessons offered by the Yellow Ray,” asked Aradia.
“Of course,” said Desimena, seeming glad that her student had thought to ask. “The Yellow Ray is referred to as Sacred Action and Intelligence. The Goddess of this Ray is called, Enchantress of Records. It is the objective of this Ray to give articulation to Divine Intelligence. This ray provides the underlying intelligence of nature. It is the force that animates human thought. Its purpose is to reveal the Mind of God/ Goddess within the consciousness of humans. This is the ray most associated with karma, for it holds the memory of all that has ever been, what was, and what is to be. Entities born under this Ray have the ability to be leaders, and through their intelligence and their enthusiastic nature they can inspire others.
“The lessons that will be offered to your soul as you become enveloped in the Sacred Yellow Ray will be to form self-esteem and personal honor, to develop integrity, to learn the difference between strength and courage and to recognize life as a precious gift. On earth, when a soul refuses the lessons offered by this Ray – it negates honor and chooses mistrust over trust– dishonesty over truth- limitation over self-awakening. The key words would be, honor oneself.”
Aradia shivered with dread and exhilaration at the prospect of learning to honor herself while discovering how to trust and honor a mate.
“Our time together here in the astral realm is coming to a close,” Desimena said to Aradia with a mixture of sadness and pride. “But as you know, our journey together is not over.”
Aradia’s eyes filled with curiosity as a small band of goddesses filed into the room. “Perhaps you remember the Karmic Board,” said Desimena. “As you know, they will help you pick a name that will match your purpose in this next lifetime. And of course they will help you to choose the exact moment of birth, for as you remember, it is very important that all the stars and planets in your chart be in line with your purpose.”
Desimena’s deep smile reassured Aradia, and as she turned to go, the intriguing group encircled her student, excitedly sharing with her their thoughts on how she could garner the most from this next, and very important lifetime.
Coming softly up behind Aradia and resting her silky hand lightly on her shoulders, Desimena said, “You know that it is time. Remember to call upon me, for I will always be near. You will do well in this next lifetime. You will find love.”
Aradia knew that Desimena’s words should have cheered her, but instead she felt a restrained sadness.
“I…I’m not ready yet,” she began. “I have a question….”
Desimena moved to stand in front of Aradia. Tilting her head to the side so that the glittering stars at her temple caught the light, she said, “You know that all of your questions will be answered at some point. Come child… take my hand.”
As Aradia followed Desimena out of the astral realm and toward earth, the very last thing she heard was the goddess’s voice saying, “Hold on to the name you have picked. The strength and conviction you have in your choice is what allows your parent to hear your name!”
Aradia floated in a dark moist chamber, feeling safe and warm. She wanted to hold on to all that she had learned and most importantly, she wanted to make sure she held on to the name she had picked.
Then she felt herself outside of the womb. The jolt of leaving the secure environment created confusion which only lifted when she concentrated on the name, as she had been told to do, repeating it over and over again. She rejoiced in the fact that soon she would be witness to her own birth.
During the process of labor she moved in and out of her mother’s body, feeling the pleasure and pain of birth. Then, in the moment she had been advised of, the moment that the head of the child crested, she knew she must make a decision.
And yet she hesitated… for she also knew that it was possible when she took up the raiment of a body, that the sleep of forgetfulness would come again.
All that she had learned on the astral realm filtered through her mind. A colorful kaleidoscope of consciousness and knowledge collided, and then, remembering that he was waiting for her, she made her decision.
Her soul moved into the tiny body…a loud cry pierced the room… and
Czarinaea was born.
“Just beyond the fall of grace, behold that ever shining place”
~ From the movie - Far From Heaven.
Our story takes place approximately two thousand and two hundred years ago on the still and shallow Sea of Azov. The regal Rypaie Mountains stand guard as the Tanais River flows abundantly into the sea, creating a backdrop for the great Scythian tribes that inhabit the wetlands of Mæotis.
It
is here that Aradia has been reborn, and she has chosen the name Czarinaea. Her name means - Empress of the Land and giver of good counsel.
Myrina beamed with excitement as she stood outside the make-shift arena her sister had constructed. Hidden underneath the pleasure of watching Czarinaea perform cartwheels on the back of her flying steed, was a glint of uneasiness. Certainly not just with the task in front of them, but rather a nagging feeling that something mysteriously profound was about to happen.
Shifting her weight from foot to foot, she wondered what could be more important than Czarinaea doing well in her test today. After all, according to clan tradition this heralded the move from young girl to woman. Czarinaea would pass, and when she did, she was going to approach their mother again and ask to go to the temple to train as a priestess. Yet… there was that feeling again.
Rejecting her sense of unease, Myrina placed her hands on her hips preparing to deal with the matter at hand. Waiting patiently as Czarinaea danced toward her, wearing that all too familiar, somewhat smug look, Myrina withheld the smile she felt in her heart in hope that her words would have an impact on her reckless sister.
“Are you mad?” she demanded. “Mother has ordered you not to do that type of stunt! She has also told us both that it is important when practicing that we have someone with us. You sneak away, even from Lotzar, your very best friend, because you are afraid someone will get wind of your activities. I love watching you, but it is so dangerous out here in your hide-away. What if you fell and no one was here to help you?”
Having run out of breath, Myrina looked at her sister with pleading concern.
“And here I thought you were watching to learn something,” Czarinaea said with a playful grin. “Have you come to chastise me instead?”
Utter defeat was etched on Myrina’s face as she shrugged in exasperation.
“And what good would that do?” she asked. “No! I’ve come to tell you it is time to go to the hippo-dome. I am nervous for my part in the mounted pick up,” she admitted, “and I don’t want you to fail because of me.”
