“Not much I can do about it now, and that’s a good thing,” she whispered and turned away.
Truthfully? The worse she looked, the better at this point. She had used Hallstein to the best of her ability, and if there were truly a god in Valhalla, then she wouldn’t make contact with Kodran again. And if she did, it was better if he wasn’t attracted to her. Because nothing good could come from that. Not if what happened in their previous life was any indication.
She swallowed and shook her head when his face flashed in her mind.
Both in this life and the last.
Her eyes went to the wall of the room Angie had insisted she take. Not surprisingly, one of five pictures in Cybil’s Dragons of Winter Harbor collection was hung there. As it turned out because her sister was a prophet amongst other things, the collection was really more a vision of the future and the love that would reunite across time. And each depicted the dragon her sisters would end up with.
Titled ‘Pride’ the one hanging in her room had shades of deep blue and purple. Lightning splintered the sky, and the visage of a dragon seemed to appear, unfazed by the weather. Almost as if it defied nature itself. Yet Erica saw the truth in it. She saw Kodran. The man he had been in another life.
More so, the creature he wished he could have been.
She leaned against the wall and hung her head as memories tried to swamp her yet again. Why did she ever agree to touch the blade? Why did she allow him to convince her when she knew it would be so heartbreaking...so dangerous?
“Because of your human half,” seethed through her mind. “It’s too emotional.”
“Shit,” she muttered as she crouched, held her head and fought the tremors rippling through her. “Not here. Not now.”
That picture needed to go. Anything that bridged the gap between her and Kodran. It was too strongly connected to him. Which meant it was also connected to their previous life and Maeva.
Maeva.
A woman who had suffered grievously in the end. Someone who had been forced to become two people at once. Hallstein’s mate and horribly enough, the other part of Erica herself...somewhat. A voice in her head. A demon in the closet. A bigger player in this war than anyone could even imagine.
“Erica.” A gentle hand landed on her shoulder. “Are you all right?”
She opened her eyes. Kage was crouching in front of her, and she’d never even heard him coming. Not good. She was allowing too much in, too much to take over. And doing such a thing would lose them this war fast.
So enough was enough.
“Yeah.” She stood and nodded. “I’m good.”
“Are you?” he murmured, searching her eyes. “What happened between you and Hallstein? You’ve been pretending he’s your mate for a while now.” He shook his head. “What did that mean for you?” He clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes. “Did he hurt you? Rape you?”
She shook her head. “Absolutely not.”
But of course he had...somewhat.
This was Hallstein they were talking about. If he had done it in one life, why not another? The only difference now? She was a whole lot tougher and ten times more pissed off.
“Fuck, you’re lying to me,” Kage muttered before he yanked her into his arms and hugged her. Despite all the crap she was dealing with, she couldn’t help a small smile as she hugged him back. Her brother wasn’t the hugging type, but it seemed in the few short weeks since he found Vivienne, he was starting to find his way back to humanity. Good thing because being Hallstein’s former number-one-guy would have broken the average man.
“No time for this, Bro.” She patted him on the back. “I’ve got to go downstairs and play nice.”
“Yeah, all right.” He pulled away but didn’t go far. His eyes remained glued to hers. “You know, nobody’d fault you for getting some rest and reuniting tomorrow, darlin’.”
“I know,” she said, forever charmed by both him and his southern accent. “But I need to get down there and socialize. Right now all they think I’ve been doing is keeping really bad secrets.”
Which she was.
He offered a crooked grin. “I can’t imagine it helped any that you showed up looking like a lawyer.”
“I know, right.” She managed a small grin before she grew serious again. “You didn’t tell them anything, right? You didn’t tell them that I was with Hallstein down south?”
“Nope.” He frowned and shook his head. “But I don’t understand why you’re keeping that from them, Erica. All you’ve gone through. All you’ve...” he clenched his jaw. “Suffered.” His eyes narrowed in frustration. “They’re your family. They would want to know what—”
“No,” she cut him off and kept her eyes hard and emotion free. “I’ve been at it for a while with Hallstein, and I know what I’m doing. I know how to make this right.”
“And how’s that?” His eyes remained narrowed. “By putting yourself in danger just like you’ve been doing all along?”
“What I do is my business,” she ground out and met his narrowed eyes with her own. “I need you to trust me. I need to know you’ve got my back.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw and a vein throbbed in the side of his neck as they eyed one another. As he tried to get a sense of how much more danger she was getting ready to put herself in.
“I’ll be all right.” Erica maintained the look of determination she knew he would respect and made sure he heard the strength in her voice. “I don’t put myself in situations I can’t handle.” She shook her head once and kept her eyes locked with his. “Not ever, Kage.”
She knew what he was thinking about. Her time with Hallstein. The things he had seen. The people they both knew well and had spent plenty of time with. The evil shitheads who kept company with their enemy. And it wasn’t pretty. None of it.
“Please,” she murmured and searched his eyes. “You gotta trust me, okay? I know what I’m doing.”
He eyed her for another long moment before he shook his head and muttered, “You better, Erica.”
“I do,” she assured and nodded toward the door. “Let’s get down there, all right? I have some reuniting to do.”
He nodded and sighed as she headed for the door then stopped short.
“What is it?” he asked.
Though she knew she should probably leave it alone, after tonight she wouldn’t be around to tell him the things he needed to know. Or at least to let him know there were things he needed to look into.
“Listen.” Her eyes met his. “Outside of all the Hallstein stuff, there have been things I couldn’t tell you. Important things.”
“About what?”
“Traveling back in time,” she managed, trying to keep her tone light. “When you travel back eventually, you’ll figure them out pretty quickly. When you do, just know that for all her power, Cybil had no idea.” She shook her head. “She doesn’t know.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“You’ll see.” She shook her head again. “It’s just not my place to tell you. It’s between you two.”
“Okay,” he said, but she could tell he was concerned.
“It’s nothing bad...just important,” she said softly.
“All right.” He might be concerned about what she was up to, but he still worked at a grin just for her. One that said he supported her. That maybe if he kept up with that charming dimpled smile, he might just get her to change her mind and tell him what she was up to. But she wouldn’t. Not ever.
She met his grin then headed for the door when she’d rather hop on the back of his bike and head out. Ride away from all she had to face. But that wasn’t an option, and it hadn’t been for a long time.
“C’mon, Brother,” she tossed over her shoulder before she refocused on what was next. Lauren with her questions. Tait with even more. Then probably Svala too.
What she wouldn’t give to just do as Kage suggested. Lie down and sleep the night away. But then, was there such a thing? She couldn’t r
emember the last time she slept all night. Not for a few years. Not since she started to remember everything.
Now she knew.
Night was safer. Daytime was dangerous.
And all because of Maeva.
So, naturally, she had adjusted without even realizing it.
“It’s a strange thing meeting you first as a ghost,” Svala said, looking her over as they sat on adjacent couches a while later. “What was the purpose of that?”
“For starters, to help bring Tait and me together,” Lauren said. She was tucked against Tait’s side but rarely took her eyes off of Erica. “Thank you for that, Sister.”
She knew Lauren wanted to say she had missed her, that she was glad she was here, but like most of them remained unsure. And she didn’t blame them. It wasn’t every day that their long lost, estranged sister showed up first as a ghost, then reappeared ‘all business’ determined to sell their house right out from under them.
Then there was the part about her knowing they had a brother.
Kage had explained it away as Erica’s dragon figuring it out, so on and so forth. When he was drilled about where they had crossed paths, he shrugged and said somewhere between the north and south. She was heading to Virginia. He intercepted her. They got to know each other. That was about it.
So now Kage was keeping her secret. He was protecting her. Yet even he only knew so much about what she was really up to. The games she was playing. Things she would not share with her family, so they weren’t put in more danger than they already were.
“Erica came here to help make sure this dagger stayed on the right path,” Mema Angie said in response to Lauren’s inquiries as she set the Gungnir blade on the coffee table beside Erica along with a beer and a shot of whiskey before she met her eyes. “And it has.” She glanced at Svala then the rest of them. “I think that’s what matters most. And I think, for now, our time is better spent reconnecting and appreciating family rather than questioning everyone endlessly.” Angie sat down beside her and squeezed her hand. “Everyone is finally reuniting, and that’s a good thing.”
Erica nodded her thanks, especially because it gave her an out. Though tempted, she didn’t touch the liquor. If all went as planned, she would be leaving soon, and she needed to stay sharp. She had done what she needed to do. She had officially separated her sisters from what tethered them to her.
This house.
Her eyes locked on the tree outside. The old ash. Better yet, the Yggdrasill, a tree that connected the nine worlds of Norse mythology. This tree, however, was created by Kjar, a demi-god Viking and friend to the Sigdirs. He had created it to help. The only problem? It was about to do the opposite.
That’s why it was time to sell.
She hoped against hope that would do the job. Even if it didn’t, she had a plan in place that would get things done anyway.
The night proceeded fairly well. Everyone fell into easy conversation, burgers were cooked on the grill and potato and pasta salad was served. By all means, it was a nice family reunion, but Erica sensed the underlying tension. Not so much about her per se. If anything, the odd feel had more to do with what she represented. Who she might be.
Maeva.
And hell if any of them had it right, including Kage. But that was okay because it had to be. She was walking down a path that was all hers. If she wanted someone to understand her even a little bit, she would still be with Hallstein. If she wanted someone to understand her way too much, she would have already found her way back to Kodran.
So here she was.
On her own doing the best she could.
Like dad said, this all rested on her shoulders, and she knew it. That meant not overthinking things and staying strong. More than anything at this point, it meant embracing the cutthroat defense attorney she once was and setting all emotion aside. Well, most of it anyway.
“It’s not always easy wearing the mantel of so much responsibility, is it?” Megan murmured as she joined her on the deck overlooking Frenchman Bay later that evening.
Erica didn’t respond but offered a small smile. If anyone could understand and relate, it was Megan, having been queen of a large Viking tribe for almost thirty years.
“I think one of the most important things I learned over the years,” Megan continued. “Was how important it is to lean on at least one person in my life.” She cocked her head at Erica. “You haven’t done that yet, have you? Not even with Kage.”
No. Yes. Maybe in some ways which technically, all things considered, meant not at all really. Not like she wished she could have. But her brother didn’t need to take on any more than he already had.
“I did a bit with my brother-in-law Anthony,” she confessed. “And dad’s spirit, somewhat.”
“From what I heard Anthony leaned on you for help, not the other way around,” Megan said. “As to your father, I wouldn’t know, but I sense he was more of a stepping stone. And from what I hear about spirits, likely not there for you nearly enough.”
Megan was right on both counts. Erica nodded and took a swig of her bottled water.
“I think we both know there’s only one person out there who will ever truly understand you, Erica,” Megan said softly. “Your dragon mate.” Her eyes turned to the sea. “Yet you’re trying to avoid him, aren’t you.” Her voice grew even softer. “Surely you know that will be impossible. Your dragons won’t allow it. Not for much longer.”
“Our situation is different, Megan,” Erica replied. “The same rules don’t apply to us.”
“Hmm,” Megan murmured. “Yet here you are selling the house and getting ready to travel back in time.” Her eyes returned to Erica’s. “How do think it will be when you get there? When you’re reunited with not only the land you were once so attached to in another life but the man? I heard about the brief encounter you and Kodran already shared. How intense it was.” Her brows inched up. “I can only imagine how much that will intensify when you’re there in person versus whatever state you were in when you both touched that blade. Because something tells me you might have been a little ethereal then too.”
Erica knew she had been. And she had thought about these very points. But it didn’t change anything. When she traveled back in time, she would have to avoid him. She would have to reconnect with Hallstein.
That’s the only way this would work.
The only hope she had of saving everyone.
“I’m starting to think perhaps the mantel you wear is heavier than mine ever was,” Megan murmured, more intuitive than most as she continued eying Erica. “It’s clear you’re willing to sacrifice a great deal to see this end well.” She sighed and rested her hand over Erica’s on the railing. “Just remember, though you might be determined to do this on your own, you’ve got people who care about you that don’t want to see that happen. Too many who wouldn’t consider any of this a happy ending if you’re not part of it.”
“My sisters barely know me anymore,” Erica whispered. “And the Sigdirs only know me as one half of a woman who has been nothing but evil.”
“Only one half of her,” Megan replied. “The other version of Maeva is the opposite.” She gave Erica a pointed look. “And I think you’re her.” She shook her head. “Because the other wouldn’t put her life on the line to save those she cares about.”
Before Erica could reply, Megan squeezed her hand and continued. “I think you’re very brave, Erica. Thank you for protecting your sisters...and for helping out my clan. I know it has been a heavy burden to carry.”
Erica bit back emotion at the unexpected words. While Megan could only be talking about what Erica had done by helping Anthony and her father, it still meant a lot. Now, she only hoped that in the end, she didn’t let Megan down. More than that, she hoped that the former queen would beat her cancer and somehow find a way to be with her king again.
Megan didn’t say anything else but squeezed Erica’s hand one more time then went back inside. Though part of her wanted to fo
llow just to be around family a bit longer, she knew it was best to keep her distance. It was time to keep moving and do what she had come here to do.
Travel back in time on her own terms.
With that in mind, she rallied her courage, grabbed the Gungnir blade and headed for the ash tree.
Chapter Two
Scandinavia
907 A.D.
KODRAN CROUCHED ON a ledge halfway up the mountain and watched everything unfold offshore with a heavy frown. His kin and their mates had just chased away Hallstein’s dragon, and they were escorting Matthew’s near lifeless body inland. However sad he might feel, he was also very proud. His cousin and Shannon had put up a good fight against the enemy and Maeva.
If Kodran had his way, he would have been the first dragon out there. He would have shredded the enemy to pieces if given half the chance. Unfortunately, now that he and Erica had touched that blade if he got anywhere near Hallstein and Maeva the monster might likely figure everything out.
He would discover who Kodran had been in another life.
More so, it would put everyone he cared about in harm’s way more than they already were.
And Maeva? Getting close to her was way too risky knowing what he did now. He could only wonder what had happened when she crossed over into Helheim during that battle. Because she didn’t return. Hel had her now.
Or so everyone thought.
Kodran breathed a sigh of relief when Matthew appeared to come back from the dead and wrapped his wings around his family. Shannon, Emily, and Håkon. They were all safe.
He eyed his village one last time, content at least for now that all were safe, and turned away. Thanks to a little magic, as far as anyone knew he was still in his lodge entertaining women. And that’s where he needed to stay while he returned to where it all began...or at least a part of it.
Mt. Galdhøpiggen’s peak.
So he made sure his weapons were intact, put on his hood and headed deeper into the mountains. It would take a few days to get there by foot but if he shifted his kin would likely sense it. As it was, it would only be a matter of time before they figured out he was gone...and where he was headed.
Pride of a Viking Page 2
