by Merry Farmer
“I’m here with a proposal today,” Chastity started, still holding Myrna’s arm.
“A proposal?” Myrna blinked. “I do.”
Chastity laughed. Chris chuckled too, coming over to give Chastity a quick kiss. “You girls have fun. Don’t burn the place down.”
He swayed as if to head back to the classroom, stopped, and changed directions to lean into Chastity to give her another kiss. “Tonight,” he whispered, then sidestepped and started to the back of the salon and down the hall.
Chastity shivered with lust from head to toe. The clock couldn’t move fast enough.
She caught Denise staring at her with enough venom to poison every well in Wyoming. Damn, Chris was right. Nothing killed a good, sexy mood faster than Denise. Chastity shivered and turned back to Myrna.
“So I had an idea.” She grabbed hold of Myrna’s arm and walked her over to the ladies under their dryers. “You know how my sisters and I have started a daycare over at Linda Culpepper’s house?”
“I’d heard,” Myrna said.
“A what?” Mary Lou all but shouted.
“Daycare,” Birdie shouted at her, lifting the edge of her dryer. “Over at Linda’s house. For all the underwear babies.”
“Underwear babies?” Birdie still looked like she didn’t have a clue.
“I hear we’re into the second wave of those little tikes,” Barbara said. She pushed her dryer back off her head and turned to lean into the conversation. “But then, if I was married to one of those underwear models, I wouldn’t want to stop at one baby either, if you know what I mean.”
“What’s this about stopping babies?” Mary Lou scrunched up her face as if frustrated the conversation was going on without her.
“No,” Birdie shouted at her. She followed Barbara’s example and pushed the hood of her dryer up. “All those girls who married the underwear models. They’ve all got two rounds of babies now.”
“Oh, right.” At last, Mary Lou too pushed off her dryer. “What’s that got to do with us?”
“I’d throw a hip out if I tried to make babies with one of those models,” Barbara went on, as if having a slightly different conversation. “But it would be worth it.”
Mary Lou frowned at her, then burst into raucous laughter.
Chastity cleared her throat. “Yes, well, sex-dislocated hips aside, I had an idea.”
“If it involves underwear models, I’m in,” Birdie said.
“No, no, but it does involve the babies,” Chastity said. She clapped her hands together in front of her, the excitement of the idea welling anew. “How would you all like to come over to the daycare one morning and hang out with the babies?”
The four older women murmured and smiled and generally looked like Chasity had just handed them lollipops. Or underwear models.
“That would be lovely,” Myrna said.
“Why, I haven’t held a baby in years,” Mary Lou agreed.
“But how would we get all the way out to the Culpepper ranch?” Barbara asked.
Chastity and Chris had already spent some time talking about just that. “The ranch owns an SUV with a lot of seats. Since it’s in the morning, Chris said he’d be willing to drive around and pick you all up.”
“Door-to-door service by a Culpepper boy?” Birdie batted her eyelashes.
“He could have been an underwear model,” Barbara added.
“You don’t know the half of it,” Chastity answered. Her cheeks went pink as she remembered the sight those delightful few moments before Pickley-Wickley had ended up with teeth-marks. “Anyhow,” she brushed the sudden rush of warm fuzzies away. “It would be a sort of trial run for a bigger project of having some of Culpepper’s seniors spend time with the kids at the daycare one day a week. Are you in?”
All four of the women were quick to show just how willing they were.
“It would be simply wonderful to be around children again,” Myrna said with a sigh that reminded Chastity a little too much of all the forgotten dreams she and Chris had been talking about lately.
“Well, you can forget it,” Denise called from across the room. She was by the cash register now. The man whose hair she’d cut was already hightailing it out the door.
Myrna heaved a long-suffering sigh and sent Chastity an apologetic look, but it was too late.
Denise marched away from the register and over to the dryers, crossing her arms. “None of you are done drying yet,” she snapped at Birdie, Mary Lou, and Barbara. “You’re ruining your roller-set, and I’m not going to redo it if you don’t like the results.”
“Oh, poo, Denise.” Birdie waved her protest away. “Chastity here has invited us to come out to the Culpepper ranch to play with babies.”
“I heard,” Denise clipped. “I can’t stop you from doing something stupid, but I can put my foot down with you, Mother.”
Chastity turned to Myrna, ready to see the woman come out swinging. Instead, Myrna merely shrugged. “I don’t see that there’s any harm.”
“Well, I do. Kids have germs. If you get sick, I can’t afford to take you to the clinic. Besides.” Denise sniffed. “I don’t have time to be your chauffer.”
“Oh, it’s not a problem. Chris offered to shuttle everyone.” It took every ounce of theatrical talent Chastity had to pretend she was Denise’s friend instead of bopping her in the nose.
Denise scowled at her, eyes narrowing to piggy little slits. “So you’ve got Chris running around doing your bidding now, do you? Think you can wrap him around your fat little finger?”
Don’t strangle the woman, Chastity told herself. You need her classroom to host senior classes.
“Chris volunteered,” she said aloud. “He’s such a sweetheart that way, isn’t he? And he’s totally devoted to your mom.”
The comment didn’t have the effect Chastity was hoping for, but Denise did go from looking like she would throttle her with a curling iron cord to looking like she’d bitten into a lemon.
“Yes. Chris is a gentleman,” Denise conceded.
It was probably the first thing they agreed on. Chastity took it and ran with it. “See? If Chris approves of the idea, it can’t be all bad.”
“I don’t know. I still think someone’s pulling the wool over Chris’s eyes,” Denise said.
“Oh, I would never do that. He’s allergic to wool.”
Denise didn’t even twitch at Chastity’s joke. She continued to glare as if Chastity had ripped Chris out of her arms and frenched him right in front of her.
“Well if you ask me, it sounds like a great idea,” the other stylist—Tammy, if Chastity was remembering names right—added from across the room as she swept hair. “Why don’t you go along? Buffy and I can handle the salon for one morning.”
Ack, no! Chastity opened her mouth, searching for some way to nix the idea, but Tammy sent her a look that was so full of desperate pleading, Chastity pinched her mouth shut. Maybe the salon needed a Denise-free day.
Besides, she was trying to be friends with Denise. Or at least friendly.
“I think that sounds like a great idea,” she said, feigning excitement. “It would be awesome to have another person there to oversee things.”
“Oh, so now you want me to do your daycare work for you?” Denise barked.
The woman was ridiculously frustrating. More frustrating still was the inescapable truth that Chastity needed to be on her good side.
“No, no, we’ve got plenty of people to help with that. But we’d sure like to have you along,” she said.
Nothing. Not so much as a hint of a smile. Oh boy, Chastity was going to have to pull out the big guns.
“I’m sure Chris will be happy to see you there,” she added, halfheartedly.
That did it. Denise’s stony expression cracked. She glanced past Chastity to her mom. “If you end up with the flu, it’s your fault.”
“I’ll be sure to wash my hands thoroughly,” Myrna said with solemnity that Chastity suspected was faked.
“Fine, then. We’ll go. But only if Chris will pick us up.”
Before Chastity could thank her or add anything else, Denise turned and stomped back to her chair. Tammy slipped over to check on Birdie’s curlers and to lead her back to one of the salon chairs. As she went, she mouthed the word, “Thank you.”
Even though she wanted to roll her eyes, Chastity still wasn’t done getting what she needed. That classroom was calling out to her, saying “Oldies and yarn, oldies and yarn!” She had to do something.
Taking a deep breath, she forced a smile and walked over to Denise’s chair. “You know, I was thinking of getting my hair cut. Would you be willing to do it for me?”
Admittedly, she was taking her life in her hands. Denise saw her as an arch-nemesis, and she would be the one with razor-sharp scissors in her hands. But hey, you caught flies with honey, and sometimes you had to kill them with kindness.
“Get lo—”
Denise was halfway through turning away and raising her hand in a gesture that looked suspiciously like it was forming into the bird, but she stopped. A grin spread over her bright pink lips. Chastity had a feeling she should probably turn and run, but no, she needed to make friends with Denise if it killed her.
“Sure,” Denise answered at last in an overly-sugary voice. “I’d be happy to cut Chris’s wife’s hair. Consider it my wedding present. Have a seat right here.”
Denise took a towel from her station and brushed off any lingering hair from her previous client. Chastity tried to keep a straight face as she slipped into the chair. There was no way on God’s green earth that Denise would not jack up her hair. She took a final look in the mirror at her long, blonde tresses and mentally kissed them goodbye. But if letting Denise chop her into oblivion had even a chance of winning the woman’s respect and turning her into—well, if not a friend, then an ally, then it would be worth it. Judging by the wide-eyed look Tammy was giving her from the other chair, Chastity had someone on her side to fix whatever Denise would do to her.
“Shouldn’t we shampoo it first?” she asked, sounding a little more pathetic than she wanted to.
“Oh, no.” Denise swept a lurid purple smock around Chastity’s shoulders and snapped it in the back, pulling her mass of blonde hair out of the neck. “I learned this new technique for cutting hair dry at a hair show over in Cheyenne a few weeks ago, and I’ve been dying to try it.”
“That sounds cool.” Chastity forced a smile into her voice. “I bet you’ll make me look awesome.”
“Sure.” Denise twisted the chair so Chasity faced away from the mirror.
Across the room, Myrna, Mary Lou, and Barbara looked on with varying degrees of shock and terror. Chastity knew she should get up, rip off the smock, and run. She knew it, she knew it, she knew it…
Oh God! The deep click and buzz of men’s clippers turning on was her last chance, but she continued to sit there, hands clenched to the arms of the salon chair under the smock. She had to hand it to Denise, though. The woman worked fast. A millisecond later, the clippers let out an angry, hungry buzz as they ate into a chunk of her hair right at the temple.
“Ow!” Chastity yelped as soon as the blades choked and yanked hard on her too-thick hair. It hurt enough to be bleeding, but in a flash, the clippers turned off and Denise stepped back. Tammy shouted wordlessly from the other station, and Myrna, Mary Lou, and Barbara cried foul from the other side of the room.
“Look at what you did,” Birdie cried from Tammy’s chair.
Denise stepped back with a smug grin. She had the clippers in her hands, and a huge chunk of long, blonde hair dropped to the floor. “Let’s see if Chris thinks you’re so hot now,” she said. She plunked the clippers down on her workstation, then headed for the door. “I’m going for a smoke.”
Chastity watched with wide eyes and stinging head as Denise swaggered to the front door and outside. She peeked back at Myrna and the others at the far end of the room. They continued to stare at her in shock. It wasn’t good.
Slowly, with a wince, she used her toes to turn the chair to face the mirror. “Oh, boy.” She touched cold fingers to the thick, square bald spot on the side of her head. The skin underneath was an angry red, probably from the yank of the clippers. “Oh, wow.” There was no getting around it, no covering it up, no draping hair on top of the patch to hide it. “I knew she was going to mess me up, but whoa.”
“I can fix it,” Tammy blurted. “I can. I’ll do it for free.”
Birdie nodded silently and jumped out of Tammy’s chair, gesturing for Chastity to take her place. Still in shock, Chastity limply did as she was told.
“It’s bad,” Tammy confirmed, raking her fingers gently through Chastity’s hair. She gasped, whimpered, cleared her throat and said, “Yeah, it’s bad, but I can fix it, I know I can. I can.”
It wasn’t reassuring. Tammy took a fat comb and drew it through Chastity’s hair, lifting what was left up, to the side, down, to the front, trying all sorts of things to figure out how to hide Denise’s vindictiveness. All the while, she squeaked and hummed and murmured, growing more desperate as she searched for some solution.
At the same time, Chastity began to recover. No two ways about it, the whole thing was her own damned fault. She’d tried to make friends with a rabid tiger, and she’d been bit. Well, there was nothing to do but own it, just like every other stupid thing she’d ever done in her life.
“You know what?” she said, making eye-contact with Tammy in the mirror to reassure her. “Let’s just shave it all off.”
“Shave your head?” Tammy choked. “But you have such great hair.”
Chastity pursed her lips together and stared hard at her reflection in Tammy’s mirror. “Okay, how about this. Let’s shave half my head.”
“What?” Birdie clasped a hand to her heart where she stood next to the chair. Myrna, Mary Lou, and Barbara rushed across the room to crowd around the chair in support.
“Yeah.” Chastity grew more confident by the moment. “Shave half of it. From here down.” She gestured to a point right above where Denise had done her damage, making an arc down to the back of her neck. “I saw a picture of some famous actress in a science fiction movie who had half her head shaved like that. She looked good, so can I.”
And besides, Chris liked science, so chances are he’d like science fiction too. Maybe he’d get a kick out of really crazy hair. Heck, she could even dye it green at this point. Or not. She would own it no matter what she did.
Although as Tammy picked up Denise’s clippers and turned them on, the low buzz—like a hornet’s nest—hit Chastity right in the gut. Her hair! It was gone, ruined. As Tammy smoothed the clippers gently across the side of her head, and as thick, blond chunks fell to the floor, tears stung at Chastity’s throat and the back of her eyes. She hadn’t really thought she could make friends with Denise, but she hadn’t thought failure would hurt so much either. Worst of all, chances were she’d be spending the evening in hysterical tears, mourning the loss of her pretty hair instead of bumping uglies with Chris. Bummer and a half.
9
“Oh my Lord, what happened to Chastity’s hair?” Linda asked the moment Chris stepped through the front door with Chastity, Mrs. B., and the others in tow.
“Nice, isn’t it?” Chris grinned and looped his arm around Chastity’s waist, tugging her closer so he could kiss the big, bald expanse on the side of her head. “She looks like a total rock star.”
Chastity sent him a sidelong look that said he was being generous, but turned it around in a hurry as Denise shuffled through the door. “It’s super cool, isn’t it? I combed it all over to this side and put on one of the biggest earrings that I have so it really stands out.”
In fact, after keeping a stiff upper lip about it the whole way home after the fiasco at the salon, Chastity had broken down into a blubbering puddle of tears and ironic laughter. Chris had stayed up with her way past their bedtime, helping her experiment with different ways to br
ush and style the devastation.
“It certainly looks…interesting,” Linda said.
“I know.” Chastity skipped over to kiss Linda’s cheek, then turned to Myrna and the others. “The kids are in here. Come and see.”
The small crowd shuffled down the hall and into the dining room, where tables had been spread with newspaper and set with huge pieces of paper and poster paints. The older women chattered in excitement as they followed Chastity. Denise brought up the rear, a sour expression on her face. The whole drive over, Denise looked as though she wasn’t sure if she should gloat over what she’d done or beg for Chris’s forgiveness or puke. At least she’d kept her mouth shut, as she did now.
“Let me guess.” Linda leaned closer to him as soon as the group had gone on to the dining room. “Denise was responsible for that haircut.”
“Yep.” Chris sighed and headed down the hall to the kitchen with his mom. “Although in a weird plot twist, I think she’s over me now.”
“Really?” Linda arched a brow. “Why?”
Chris shrugged. “It might have something to do with the way I gave her the cold shoulder and fawned all over Chastity at the salon when I saw what happened.”
Linda snorted. “Yeah, double-whammy. That would do it. How’s Chastity really taking it?”
Chris barked an ironic laugh. “Well, she kept it together until we got home last night, then went into mourning for a while. After decimating a box of Kleenex, we played with mousse and gel and some weird paste stuff for the rest of the night, trying to see what could be done. Actually, that’s why I’m walking around with half a jar of gel in my hair today.”
“You look like you stuck your finger in a light-socket,” Linda agreed. She reached up to pat his spiky head.
“I’d stick more than that in a light-socket for her,” Chris smiled, the love he felt pulsing through him like warm caramel.
“I don’t need to know what you two get up to in your personal time.” Linda held up her hands and walked away to the counter, where snack preparation was in progress. “I’ve heard rumors about young people these days sticking things in weird places and using whips and chains and stuff like that.”
