“Thank you.” I blushed, because her compliments made me feel a bit uncomfortable.
She hugged me. “Oh, Isabelle I’ve had such a nice time with you today.”
“We should do it again soon.” I hugged her as well.
We enjoyed each other’s solace for a moment when a knock on the door drew our attention.
“Come in,” Helen invited the person on the other side.
The door opened and the last person I wanted to see walked into the room. I was so confused by his gesture of knocking. The previous day he had simply walked in with an attitude that was saying he felt it was his right to do so. Uneasiness washed over me as the scent of his cologne spread around, claiming the space around me. It was still a trigger that made every hair on the back of my neck stand up.
“Well, you made it in time, brother. Isabelle just tried on her magnificent combination for the dinner, which, by the way, I can’t believe you haven’t told her about yet. Well, what do you think?” She was dying to hear his opinion. I, on the other hand, didn’t want to know what he thought.
His eyes momentarily remained glued on my dress before he turned back to Helen.
“There’s nothing wrong with it.”
“Oh, come on! Are you blind?” Helen was infuriated by his remark.
“No. When one is fishing for compliments, I choose not to give them. Simple as that.”
He looked at me again with his accusing eyes, even though I wasn’t the one who wanted to hear his comment about the dress.
“What’s wrong with you today? You’re grumpy all the time,” she teased him with a dose of accusation in her voice.
I desperately wanted Helen to stop irking him about the stupid dress, because I sensed he was about to lose his nerves and I would be the one to pay. On top of everything, the price of the entire combination still bothered me and I didn’t want him to know how much we’d spent on clothes that day.
“I’ve been working all day and I still have a late meeting to attend. I’m exhausted, so please, bear with me Helen.” He tried to appear calm, but Helen was still quite upset with him and I could tell that it annoyed him. “I need to talk to you about something, so come to my office when you’re ready. I’ll be waiting,” he asked Helen to join him and glanced at me shortly before leaving the room without a word.
Helen and I remained alone again, and I needed a few moments to regain my composure. She narrowed her eyes at me, hinting that she was thinking about something that baffled her.
“What is going on between the two of you?” She finally raised the burning question.
“I... I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I gulped for air because her question caught me off guard.
“I’m talking about how your demeanor changed when he entered the room, how in a second you stopped smiling and turned dead serious.” She looked at me suspiciously. “What has he done to you, Isabelle?” She frowned and said it like she was certain he had hurt me somehow.
I started breathing nervously, not sure about what I should tell her.
“He didn’t do anything. We just don’t know each other well... that’s all.” I couldn’t—I just couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t tell anyone ever again.
“I don’t believe you,” she whispered, never taking her eyes off mine.
“Please, believe me,” I muttered.
Helen gave me a warm look and a strong hug before we parted. I wished our beautiful day had ended in a happier tone.
“Take care, Isabelle. Call me whenever you need something. Anything, even the smallest thing, I really mean it,” she offered.
“Thank you. I will.” I was grateful.
“See you soon, sweetie,” she greeted me and went to see Sebastian.
I let the feeling of alleviation wash over me when Helen chose to drop the difficult subject. She knew a different kind of Sebastian, and I couldn’t get her involved and let her fight my battles. If my own mother didn’t understand, I couldn’t expect Helen to choose my side over her brother’s. I got out of that ridiculously expensive dress and shoes because I was too afraid I would ruin them somehow. Then I opened the wardrobe and carefully put away all of the expensive clothing items we bought that day. The entire time, I thought about how wearing those clothes would feel wrong.
After removing thick layers of makeup, I noticed my bruise in the mirror. It had subsided slightly, but it was still there. It was a reminder that the next time he decided to touch me, I shouldn’t fight him. At least that night I felt a bit better because he’d said he had a late meeting. Still, it was difficult to fall asleep, because I was thinking about everything Helen told me during the lunch. The reasons why the Everett heirs married girls from Rosemont were simply bizarre. But then again, I wasn’t surprised that none of them were willing to give up their wealth that easily.
It was getting late, and I started dozing off to sleep when I heard the door screech as someone opened it slowly. I knew it was him and I stilled my breathing when he closed the door with caution, as if he didn’t want to wake me up. I kept my eyes shut because I expected him to turn on the lights, but he didn’t. Instead, he walked to the bed in the dark and terror gripped me the moment I felt him stand above me. Pretending to sleep, I mentally prepared myself for his touch. To my surprise, moments went by, but he didn’t do anything, so I tried to relax and think about anything else than the danger that lurked from the darkness. A hand reached towards my face and lingered on my bruised cheek. I fought with everything in me to remain calm, but it wasn’t easy, because apprehension got the best of me and I winced. The loud pounding of my heart warned me it was over because he knew I was awake. My body stiffened, waiting for the attack that never came. He exhaled loudly and left. When I opened my eyes, I wasn’t sure if he had actually been there moments ago, or if it had been another scary nightmare. But I smelled the lingering residue of that cologne and I knew right away that the embodiment of my fear had really come to visit me.
Chapter Fourteen
I got up earlier than usual because I couldn’t sleep. The consequences of insomnia were visible on my face and I tried to make myself look somewhat presentable. At least the choice of clothes wasn’t so difficult anymore. I opted for a pair of black trousers combined with a white velour blouse, and hurried to the dining room because I was starving. I knew I risked an encounter with Sebastian that early in the morning, but I took my chances hoping he would work in the company that day.
The sight of the empty dining room meant I would have a good start of the day. Like a child, I was looking forward to savoring the delicious breakfast which would be a nice prelude to the beautiful morning I planned to spend in the garden. Teresa served my food in a bad mood as usual, but I decided I wouldn’t let that upset me. Instead, I enjoyed my hot cup of coffee and pancakes that calmed the rumbling in my stomach. When I finished, I decided to clear the table and take the dishes back to the kitchen. Teresa came back when I was almost done with clearing up the table.
“Madam, what are you doing?” She looked at me wryly.
“I thought I could help.” I smiled and headed towards the door, carrying a load of dishes on a tray.
However, she wouldn’t let me pass. She was determined to take the tray from my hands, but I wouldn’t give in.
“Madam, you don’t need to do my job. From what I hear there are plenty of other marital duties you should be focusing on right now.” She arched her eyebrows and produced a sly smile.
“What are you talking about?” I wasn’t stupid, but I couldn’t believe she would dare to say what she had just said.
“The news travels fast around here. And the walls in this house are very thin. I don’t think that carrying trays was what Mr. Everett had in mind when he told you to comply.” She narrowed her eyes and gloated as I handed her the tray.
I hurried outside in shock, drowning in the all too familiar sentiment of humiliation. I wasn’t paying attention to anything at that moment and I ended up bumping into Sebast
ian who was already at the door, and I bounced off his chest so hard he had to hold me by my elbows to keep me from falling. It almost felt like he was trying to be gentle but when he raised my chin and made me look up at him, there was anger written all over his face. Tears were forming in my eyes, but I didn’t allow myself to shed a single one in front of him and Teresa. As he scanned my face with intensity, I looked down again and he sighed in frustration, stepping away from me. The moment he let go of me, I quickly left the room and ran towards the garden.
The fact that Teresa had heard us that night wouldn’t leave me alone. I was completely embarrassed and I could only imagine what Sebastian would say to me later. I doubted he’d heard any of the things she had told me, but my reckless exodus would surely have to be discussed. While I was pruning the roses to ease my nervousness, I couldn’t see how I was ever supposed to go back to that house. It seemed that everybody knew what had happened that night. Anne must have known it as well, even though she acted like she didn’t realize where my bruise had come from. My misery got the best of me and I managed to cut myself on one of the many thorns—which meant I would have to return to that damned house.
On my way to the mansion, I was afraid of running into anyone. Fortunately, it was quiet and everyone was out of sight, so I managed to attend to my small injury without alarming anybody. As I walked towards my room, I heard voices. The closer I got to the guest room hall, the louder they became. I distinctively heard two women conversing. One of them was crying and the other one tried to comfort her. At last, I discovered the source of the noise when I walked by the door that was slightly opened. I couldn’t help my curiosity, so I leaned towards the door and listened in on their conversation.
“I hate her,” said the girl who was crying and I recognized it was Teresa.
“Why are you so obsessed with that girl?” I heard Norma’s voice.
“Because she has everything I want and she doesn’t deserve any of it,” Teresa was raging.
I wondered who they were talking about.
“Teresa, you are the one who messed up. Now you have to accept the consequences,”
“Accept the consequences? That redneck bitch doesn’t even love him. Sebastian deserved so much better,” she continued ranting.
The realization hit me—they were talking about me. Teresa thought I had everything she wanted? That meant that she was the one who wanted to marry Sebastian. What I heard next proved that I was right.
“Teresa, it’s not up to you to judge.”
“I could have given him everything. I love him and he would have loved me back. I just know that he would.” There was so much bitterness in her voice.
“Teresa,” Norma said compassionately.
“I had so much hope when I heard things didn’t work out between him and Cora. He even started paying attention to me. You know, the kind of attention I longed for,” Teresa said in a soft voice. “Then, she had to come in the picture and ruin everything. I will never understand why she was good enough and I wasn’t.” She wept.
I desperately wanted to hear the rest of their conversation, but the heavy steps on the marble floor echoed through the hall, so I continued walking to my room in a rapid pace. Once in my room, I reflected on what I had heard. I realized I felt sorry for Teresa. Even though she had never treated me with kindness or showed me any sign of respect, I couldn’t imagine how much she must have been suffering in silence. She obviously wasn’t aware of the rule that Sebastian’s bride had to come from Rosemont, so she didn’t know that he could have never married her. I laughed bitterly when I remembered how she wondered why Sebastian thought I was better than her. That poor girl didn’t know how much he despised me. She foolishly thought that coincidence—instead of a hundred-year-old will—had brought us together. Another thing she never realized was that men like Sebastian Everett never married women like us, that is, unless they were forced to do it. That fact was crystal clear to me.
***
In the light of recent events, I chose to stay in my room for the rest of the day and asked Anne to bring my dinner there as well. I was in a desperate need for a distraction from my harsh everydayness, so I stayed up late that night, giving myself the chance to read the novel that caused me to make a mess in the library and get in trouble with Sebastian. Sadly, I quickly realized that I didn’t enjoy the book as much as I thought I would have. My belief in eternal love, as well as in happily ever after, was gone forever and I had become the very epitome of what I used to hate. Just as I was reading the part about the arrival of Countess Ellen Olenska, I heard a familiar muffled piano melody that spread across the hall. I recognized it the moment someone started playing, even though it was played in a much slower tempo. It was Beethoven’s Für Elise and someone played it beautifully. I used to have a music box with a spinning ballerina and it would play that same melody. It was originally a thoughtful gift my mother got from my father, because her name was Elisa. Since she wasn’t too happy about it, she agreed to give in to my pleading and let me have it instead. I cherished it as my most valued possession, until she got fed up with the melody and took it away from me.
I closed my book and followed the sound of the captivating music through the hallway. I felt stupid because I was walking through the house with my braided hair, wearing nothing but the long, white satin nightgown and a book in my hands. My mother’s voice was already ringing in my head, telling me to go back to my room because I would catch a cold. The feeling of excitement, like I was breaking some strict rule, motivated me to continue searching for the source of the fascinating melody. Once I approached the stairway, the music became a bit louder and I realized the sound was coming from the ground floor. Against my better judgment, I walked down the stairs and continued searching for the familiar melody that was calling me. As I was getting closer, I felt the emotion emerging from the piano strings, like its heavenly sound was meant only for me. Carefully and on my toes, I walked in the huge living space on the ground floor. Just as I entered, the player was playing the grandiose ending. Then he removed his fingers from the keys and confronted me with his gaze. I was prepared to meet any set of eyes except those ice cold green jewels. Desperation took hold of me when I realized whom I had willingly sought out. How could Sebastian, the man who didn’t have one gentle bone in him, play that heartbreaking composition with so much emotion? It was beyond me.
“I’m sorry. I... I didn’t mean to interrupt you.” I produced an apologetic look on my face.
He stood up and walked to the front of the piano. His white shirt had a few undone buttons and that was the first time I’d seen him without a tie. Usually, he was always suited up, whereas now he had an almost casual look. He raised the glass of wine that stood next to the bottle on the piano and took a sip.
“You didn’t interrupt me. Come here,” he demanded and I obeyed. “I would have offered you wine, but unfortunately I have only one glass.”
“That’s okay. I - I don’t…”
“I remember. You don’t drink alcohol.” His voice was cold, distant, alarming.
The flashbacks of our wedding night kept creeping into my mind when he approached me. I noticed he moved his hand and it made me cower because I thought he would hit me again. He had that dark smirk on his face, but he didn’t touch me in any way. He just took the book I was holding in my hands.
“The Age of Innocence?” He seemed to be surprised.
I nodded in response, expecting him to make rude remarks about my choice of reading again, but he just placed the book on the piano without a single comment. At first, I thought I could handle his closeness, but very soon I started trembling. I wrapped my arms around my waist because I was cold, feeling completely exposed and threatened by him. His eyes studied me with intensity. Then he came one step closer, and I squeezed my arms around my body even tighter. He trailed off for a while like he was thinking about something that bothered him because he had that haunted look on his face. Then that haunted look turned into some
thing darker.
“You look like one of the virginal heroines from your books. So vulnerable, innocent and untouched,” he whispered and my cheeks burned from embarrassment because we both knew I wasn’t any of those things anymore, especially untouched.
“But you know what they say... All things truly wicked start from innocence,” he quoted one of my favorite authors.
“Hemingway,” I whispered to myself, wondering why he had said it.
“I’m impressed.” He had heard me.
“I didn’t think I could impress you,” I said quietly and looked down.
I couldn’t believe I had said that to him. My hysteria grew as he paid more attention to me. Then he came really close, but he still didn’t touch me. He just gazed at me like he wanted to know what I was thinking. He folded his hands into a fist and I jerked when he moved closer.
“No,” he growled when I stepped away from him. “Don’t. I’m not going to hit you.”
He looked at me with the look I knew all too well. I recognized it and swallowed a lump of genuine fear. Please don’t touch me. Please don’t hurt me. I started shaking uncontrollably. He wouldn’t remove his eyes from my nightgown which moved in restless waves along my trembling body.
“I-I’m cold.” I tried to justify my shaking.
I closed my eyes and made a silent promise that if I managed to leave the room unscathed, I would never follow the deceiving sound of that piano again. Every moment that passed by made the tension between us more unbearable. He took in my entire appearance from head to toe while I wondered what he intended to do to me. Adrenaline rushed through me as I felt his hand approach me. He was so close, his body radiating something I didn’t understand. Then, just when he was about to touch me, he suddenly stopped and took a step back. His breath was heavy, his eyes marking me with ownership.
“Go to sleep, Isabelle.” I gaped at him and for some reason was unable to move. “Go. To. Sleep.” He repeated the words in a blunt command and I knew this was my last chance to escape, so I snapped out of my trance and hurried back to my room.
Virtue & Vanity Page 12
