by Larkin Rose
The sound of those engines was like music. The scream of the tires almost magical. And when one of the racers tossed her a helmet and encouraged her to take a turn, she fell in love.
From the second she felt the vibrations of the car hum through her body, she knew NASCAR was where she wanted to go from there. Where she wanted to call home. Where she wanted to take the next step, despite the pitfalls that move would bring.
So she went out for a qualifier and was accepted.
Well, that was until they suspended her. They knew she was a bad girl before they offered her a spot on a team. What had they expected?
Now the choice was, shape up or move along. She couldn’t blame them even though she didn’t know what her personal business had to do with her racing record. So what if she lived on the edge? So what if she wanted to take a married woman to bed? So what if she wanted to drink herself into the corner of a back alley? What did that have to do with the checkered flag? What did that have to do with winning?
According to them, the suits, her behavior meant everything. She was a role model, under a new organization. She had to abide by the rules.
Screw that! She didn’t want people to look up to her. She didn’t want children to dream of being just like her one day. She just wanted to race. Wanted the speed. To forget. Or not to. She wasn’t sure anymore.
Other than her few sponsors, her grandfather being the main one, Sellars didn’t care about anyone. Especially herself. Until she met Billy Anderson at her first NASCAR fundraising event, where she would meet the other racers, where Brett had promised she hadn’t seen the last of him, that when she least expected danger, the danger would be over.
Yeah. As if his punk ass worried her.
That event was one of the few she was allowed to attend, and Billy was the only person to even shake her hand.
He didn’t look at her with disgust. Didn’t stare or gossip like a child. He’d walked right up to her, hand out, and told her she was going places, that it might take her a while according to the route she was taking to get there, but she would get there nonetheless.
She’d been so shocked by his words of encouragement, having never heard them from another living soul except Sarah. Her parents had assumed she would follow their medical path. The path she’d started and just couldn’t finish. It was expected, actually. Her brother and sister had followed that engraved route, so why wouldn’t Sellars? They had never told Sellars they were proud of her for going after her own dreams, for winning races, for doing a good job. Why would they? Her dream was against the Sellars family itinerary.
Billy’s clap on the back had brought tears to her heart. Had made her feel like a child needing that kiss on a boo-boo.
They became fast friends, and she adored his family. His wife, Darlene, was a sweetheart. She especially adored their only child, Gabby. She was the most outspoken child Sellars had ever known. Not that she’d known too many. She normally didn’t take too well to kids. She couldn’t get down on their level enough to enjoy them.
For weeks, Billy had been giving her racing tips in between raving about his best friend, Lacy. The way he talked about her, the woman walked on water. She was a photographer in Los Angeles, specializing in weddings. Sellars had been shocked to learn that she was the photographer who had captured Doug Nealey’s death. A fact she was sworn to keep to herself. Billy claimed the subject was off limits, and Sellars vowed to keep that promise now that he’d offered Lacy’s services to Sellars. It would be Sellars’s comeback, he said. A new image, he declared. If anyone could do it, it was Lacy.
He practically insisted, leaving Sellars feeling like she didn’t have a choice, that she might honestly hurt his feelings if she didn’t accept the offer. When she brought up the idea to her grandfather, he’d clapped, said Lacy had been a top-notch photographer and he was willing to pay top price to ensure she would take the job of keeping Sellars on the right track until the end of her suspension.
As much as she wanted to refuse, as much as she wanted to just sit back in her naughty corner and wait for NASCAR to lift her restrictions, she was more scared of losing her dream. She’d clawed her way here. She deserved to be here. She’d be damned if she let anyone stand in the way, even if that person was herself.
Sellars eased to a stop at a red light and shifted the gear into neutral. Baby, the name she’d given her beloved Camaro, vibrated in protest. She wanted the speed as much as Sellars wanted to give it to her. She was covered in a sleek magenta, trimmed in chrome, and she loved her master. The faster Sellars pushed her, the more she begged for more.
Sarah had pleaded for the same thing. The speed.
“Faster, baby! Put this bitch in the wind!” she would scream from high above the sunroof, her favorite spot with every back road race.
She’d been so wild. Sellars missed her so much. Eleven years and counting, and there wasn’t a day that went by she didn’t think of her, yearn for her, or hear those cries of release in her mind.
An engine revved beside her, and Sellars looked to her left to find two guys staring back at her. The driver revved again in invitation.
“Ahh. Now we’re talking.” Sellars gave them an approving nod, pushed in the clutch, and shifted the stick into first.
Her heart quickened as she padded the pedal. Baby roared and vibrated, eager for the juice.
The hand on the crosswalk blinked six…five…four…three…
Sellars tightened her grip on the steering wheel. Her insides tightened as well, reminding her she needed to finish this kid off and get to that club. She needed to fuck so bad it was painful.
Two…one.
Sellars punched the pedal and popped the clutch out. Tires screamed as they both surged off their mark with the green light. She floored the pedal, and Baby obliged. Three seconds, Baby swallowed thirty miles an hour. Sellars quickly shifted into second to keep up with her thirsty need. Forty, fifty. Her insides clenched as she pulled away from her competitor. What a dumbass. Her well-tuned engine could wipe the ass of almost any contender. She shifted into third. Fifty, sixty. Adrenaline rushed down her limbs as she shifted into fourth. Seventy, eighty. Damn, she needed skin against her. She needed to drive into someone. Needed to come over their fingers. The need was too strong. This win even stronger.
Ninety. His headlights were in her rearview mirror, and she smiled. It was a view she was very accustomed to. The view of winning.
Blue lights slashed through the night sky from a parking lot twenty feet ahead of her. A cop.
“Dammit!” Sellars pulled her foot off the pedal.
Great. Another night in the slammer listening to drunks talk about their experiences with aliens from outer space or how their homes had been bugged by the government or that the world was really flat.
She passed the cruiser about the same time her competitor slowly passed her. Asshole.
Sellars didn’t bother with a blinker as she pulled into the first empty parking lot she came to. The only thing she could hope for now was that a pretty lipstick lesbian would approach the car. One that would ask for her license and registration with pouty lips and flirty eyes. It had happened. Several times.
With a deep breath, she stopped the car and cut the engine then waited for what seemed like eternity for the officer to open the door.
He emerged from the car, all six foot three of him.
Yep, she was going straight to jail.
Forty-five minutes later, mug shot complete, Sellars scanned the room for a place to sit. It was the wee hours of a Saturday morning. Of course the place was packed with the weekend party animals who couldn’t control their fun-filled actions. Like she couldn’t, even without the alcohol.
She had four chairs to choose from. One beside a woman with her hair twisted into dreadlocks talking loudly to herself. Another vacant chair beside a woman with deep pockmarks and pimples all over her face. She repeatedly picked at them. Third choice was beside a tiny man with his head down. Sellars knew how he fel
t. If only she could hang her head and make the world go away. Last choice was a girl who couldn’t be over the age of twenty-five, who was watching Sellars curiously.
Hmm. She was quickly reminded that she never got to that fuck.
However, picking up a lay in a club versus one in jail was quite a different story.
Then again, she was in the same place. Locked the hell up.
Against her own desires, Sellars chose the chair by the man. At least he would be quiet and keep to himself.
Now what? No way she was going to leave on her own recognizance. She’d already used that get out of jail free card. A few times. There were only two people in her life she could call. Her grandfather, who she wouldn’t call if her dying breath depended on it. And Billy. It was comforting to know Billy would be there. Without a word, he would help. It was nice to know, right or wrong, he would come to her aid.
She didn’t deserve for anyone to help her. Maybe one day they’d lock her up and throw away the key for good. Then she could live out her days in a cell with three square meals a day to wallow in her own self-pity.
Three hours and a shift change later, Sellars had settled into her chair with eyes closed and head propped in her hand when someone cleared their throat above her. She opened her eyes to find a pretty officer standing beside her. Who could forget Tanya with her dragon tattoo and nipple rings? She was damn slick at cuffing. And fucking.
“You just can’t get enough of this place, can you?” Tanya teased her with a wink. “I was excited to see your name on the list when I came in for shift change.”
Sellars shrugged. “What can I say? I don’t know how to behave.”
Tanya fingered the top of her cuffs tucked in her belt. “Well, someone should do something about that.”
Yes. Someone should.
“So, have you had your phone call?” Tanya asked.
“No.”
“The judge will be here in an hour.” She pointed toward the end of the counter. “Go ahead and make your call.”
“Thanks.” Sellars stood, thrilled that Tanya let her gaze trip down her body. Too bad there wouldn’t be time to take her up on the unspoken promise.
But right now, her career was hanging in the balance. A career she loved despite the ways she was demolishing it.
She’d been warned about her behavior. She’d been suspended to confirm they meant what they said.
Would this push her sponsor over the edge? Her grandfather. Would he finally pull her funding? Was she pushing him to do exactly that?
Had she screwed up? Again? This time for good?
Tanya led her to the phone, and with another wink, she went to look after another jailbird.
Sellars dialed the number before she could change her mind. She was embarrassed to have to call Billy. He’d been so helpful. So caring.
It was also comforting to know he’d come. She couldn’t say the same thing about anyone else in her life.
“Hello?”
“Billy, I, um, need a favor.”
“Sure. Name it.”
She hated to say the next words. “Bail me out?”
There was a long pause. She could well imagine his disappointment. She deserved nothing less. He was trying to help her. Giving her the most honest advice. Treating her like she was a team member instead of a nobody. Hell, her own team was treating her like she was an enemy. Yet, she deserved that, too.
“I’m at the airport waiting for Lacy, remember? But I’ll come straight there as soon as she lands.”
“Thanks, Billy. I owe you one.”
“A big one.”
Sellars hung up the phone and made her way back to her chair. Great. Now she’d meet Billy’s famous best friend right out of the slammer. What a way to make a first impression.
Her thoughts went to Sarah. Her wild child. Her sidekick. Her everything.
Gone.
Sellars was her killer.
She wasn’t deserving of any kindness. Not from her parents. Not from her family. Not even from Billy.
Movement caught her attention. She looked over to see Tanya watching her.
Like she needed the demons to leave her in peace, she needed that fuck.
“Officer, I’m feeling a little queasy.” Sellars groaned.
A quirk lifted the corner of Tanya’s lip. “There won’t be any puking on my tile today. On your feet, inmate.”
Sellars resisted jumping up and speed-walking to the bathroom. Instead, she slowly stood and gripped her stomach.
“Let’s go. Down the hall and to the right,” Tanya said. “Larry, got a sick one. I’ll be right back.”
A middle-aged man with a beer gut and bald head barely lifted his gaze from the computer screen as they moved past his station.
Sellars obediently allowed Tanya to guide her into the bathroom.
The door had barely shut before Tanya pressed into her. She hungrily kissed her. Tongue delving.
She suddenly withdrew and stared up at Sellars. “How would you like me, my sexy captive?”
Sellars managed a smile before she leaned her weight against the back of the door. “On your knees, Officer.”
Chapter Three
Lacy rushed for the escalator with her carry-on bag, anxious to get her arms around Billy. She missed him like crazy and hated that their visits were only once a year now that she was consumed by that thing called earning bill money. She needed more of him. More of Darlene, the sweetheart who had captured his heart, and definitely more of Gabby, Lacy’s mini twin. More of this black-and-gold-breathing city.
Her work, his career, kept them both moving at fast clips in their lives. It sucked. And as if he couldn’t give her enough by being the bestest friend a girl could ever have, he added Gabby to the list. She was eight, going on twenty-eight, and a tiny version of Lacy. All sass and class with a sarcastic wit that could cut a grown man down to size, and she happened to hold Lacy’s heart in the palm of her hand.
She missed them all so badly it made her ache sometimes. Maybe it was time to do something about that.
Billy was standing at the base of the escalator, and Lacy’s heart lurched. God, she loved that man.
That make you warm and fuzzy radiant smile lit up his face, narrowing his bright blue eyes into slivers of tropical ocean water. Overwhelmed by the need to get her arms around his neck, Lacy charged down the moving stairs. She reached the bottom, dropped her bag, and jumped into his arms, legs instantly locking around his waist. She dampened his cheeks and neck and forehead with heavy kisses.
“Goddamn, I missed you!”
“I missed you too, hotrod.” He squeezed in return.
Minutes passed while people gave them loving smiles. They got that all the time. People mistaking them for a couple. Those expressions never bothered her. Nor did she ever set anyone straight. She didn’t care what they thought. Fact was, she and Billy were perfect just the way they were, no matter how the outside world perceived them. People would never understand their deep connection. Hell, Lacy didn’t understand the deep-seated love half the time herself.
How could a high school jock, who made a huge mistake of grabbing her ass during class, with his buddies egging him on, become her reason to breathe? It was unfathomable. Lacy hated guys. Hated them more in school. Most were jerks, and the ones who weren’t were gay. Yet here they were, unbreakable, all these years later. He was far from a jerk. Far from gay. And loved Lacy as much as she loved him. It was incredible, and it was a part of her life she couldn’t and wouldn’t give up for all the riches in the world.
Billy set her on her feet and grabbed the duffel from the floor. He led the way toward the luggage conveyor. “Gabby has already called three times with the traffic report.”
“Ahh, my princess. Always looking out for our well-being.”
“I told her it was five in the morning, that there wasn’t much traffic, and that she should stop worrying and go back to bed.”
Lacy turned a scornful eye on him. “How bad
did she hurt your feelings?”
“A little. A lot. She reminded me that she was eight years, ten months, and seven days old and if I would stop treating her like a toddler who couldn’t tell time she could have already finished her update on the traffic. And then she told me to turn down that disgusting country music so I could pay attention.”
Lacy laughed. “She’s going to be the first woman president. Bet your sweet ass.”
Billy groaned.
Ten minutes later, they were in the car and headed toward the freeway. Lacy took in the scenery. She loved Pittsburgh. Nowhere ever felt like home the way this beautiful city did. She loved the hype of football fever. The tranquil alone time at the Point. She especially loved the nightlife. A single girl could find all her heart desired in this Steel City. There was never a dull moment. Never a dull evening unless you chose it. She could see herself living here permanently. Again. Wanted that. A lot. Hanging out with Gabby every day would be so good for her soul.
Instead, she was still living in a place she couldn’t stand, doing a job she hated, and she didn’t know why. Billy had all but begged her to come live with them while she found work, maybe even start her own photography business that didn’t include weddings.
“You could go back to doing those naughty shoots you used to love so much in school.” He would always remind her. “You were good at it.”
Those naughty shoots he referred to were the ones that almost changed her mind about staying in college. Her secret fetish of capturing raunchy, yet tasteful, images of naked women, revealing their true colors. There was nothing more breathtaking than seizing someone’s personality. She could do that. She could create that moment, work it into a photo shoot, and freeze that image, that expression, that deep center, forever. And she had. A lot. Right before she fucked them. Sometimes again, right after, when she could capture that raw, you’ve been fucked expression.
