Perfectly Hopeless

by Hood, Holly

  “I have this pain in my chest always. And I feel empty.” She sat up, staring at her hands. “Everything feels terrible anymore.” She never revealed that to anyone. Not even her parents who asked her all the time if she was okay. She felt stupid to feel so bad over somebody like Jake.

  Henri cursed himself, standing up. “What if I said I’d go swimming with you?”

  Maven stood. “Really?” She already felt a little better.

  Henri nodded. “Sure. If it makes you feel better.”

  “It would.”

  “Well, let’s go.” They started to the water and Henri was the one with the chest pains now. He thought about backing out of it, but when he looked at her and the big smile on her face he couldn’t. He thought about going in with his shirt on, but knew that would only cause more questions.

  “Ok, are you ready?” Maven asked excitedly, waiting on Henri to remove his shirt. He gave a nod and drug his shirt over his head. Suddenly he felt as if everyone on the entire beach was looking at him. It wasn’t a great feeling.

  Maven noticed the scar close to his shoulder. It was new she could tell. She was the daughter of two doctors she knew a lot about stuff like that. She noticed several gawkers nearby. She took Henri’s hand in hers and pulled him toward the water, not bothered in the least by his scar.

  “I feel better already,” she said, running into the water until it was touching her thighs. Henri stared down at the current. “Isn’t this fun?” she asked.

  He had to admit it was a bit fun. He moved further in, until the water was covering the parts of his body he was ashamed of. “Pretty fun.”

  Maven disappeared under water. Henri searched for her and finally she emerged behind him. She poked his shoulder with her fingertips. “Boo!”

  An hour later when their skin was shriveled and resembling that of old people they found a spot on the shore, Maven found her beach towel and they both sat staring at the water, tired and at peace.

  “That was fun,” Maven said for the third time since they finished.

  “Yeah it was.” He smiled. Already back in his black t-shirt. She was okay with that, it didn’t take much to realize how insecure he was with the scar. But it didn’t bother her at all. She wanted to tell him that. But she worried bringing it up would end their fun time and make him withdraw in his shell.

  “Maybe we could do it again sometime.” Maven hoped he would agree. She liked being around Henri. He was a nice person.

  Henri admired her pink bikini, and the dewy glow her skin held after their swim. He thought her hair looked amazing wet. It made her look shimmery. Even better then when she was dry. He knew deep down he wanted to see her again, his head was screaming it the entire swim. But the idea of another swim was torture.

  She could see how reluctant he was. “I understand if you don’t want to.”

  Henri sighed. “I want to. Maybe next time we can do something else. Have you been to the art museum before?”

  Maven’s eyes filled with radiance. “Once when I was younger, that sounds fun.”

  Henri was glad to hear it. “I could walk you home.” He offered. The beach was slowly thinning and the sun was nearly setting in the sky.

  She dropped back on the towel, sprawling out. Her hands folded and resting on her abdomen, she stared up at the soft blue of the sky. “Or we could hang out for a little while longer.”

  Henri batted away a bit of sand from her cheek, studying her expression. “You had sand on your face. I didn’t want it to get in your eye.” He dropped down beside her, putting his arms behind his head and he too stared up at the tiny wisp of clouds sailing by them.

  Their sandy feet touched, and neither of them bothered to pull away.

  “So how did you get the name Maven?” Henri started, ending the peaceful calm all around them. Maven smiled, closing her eyes, the sounds of the waves crashing the shore was magnificent. The moment was heavenly.

  “My mother and father always had high hopes for me. My father said the moment they laid eyes on me they knew I was going to be something special. And the name fit.”

  “I like it.” Henri told her.

  Maven dropped her head to the side, “I like your name too, Henri.”

  “What’s to like? It’s an ordinary name.” He looked at her. Her eyes shimmering with life and he couldn’t believe it—happiness for once.

  “Henri is French. It means ruler of the house.” She told him. “It’s also a very kind name. And you seem kind.”

  He thought about this. “My grandfather was French. Maybe that’s why then. I’m no ruler of the house though. I’m not the ruler of anything.”

  Anything is better

  She went home in a good mood for once. Thinking about her day with Henri, she wondered if he was thinking about it too. She hoped so.

  “Mom wants you to set the table.” Maggie told her as soon she came into the kitchen. Maggie sat at the counter book in hand. “Where were you all day?”

  She pulled a stack of dishes from the cupboard. “At the beach,” she said short and to the point.

  Maggie studied her sister closely. “You went to the beach?”

  Maven scoffed. “I love the beach. How could you forget that?”

  “Hey girls,” Their mother said. She slipped off her jacket and placed it on a hook. “How’d today go?”

  Maggie shrugged, not worried about giving details. But Maven smiled at the most recent news in her life. She floated on air to the other side of the countertop setting the dishes down. Her mother could tell something excellent had happened.

  “So tell me about your day, Maves.” She lifted the pot to dinner.

  Maven opened the silverware drawer. “Nick and I went to the beach. He met up with Sandra’s older sister April. So I took a swim.”

  “With who?” Maggie and her mother asked in chorus. They knew better then to believe Maven did anything alone. And if Nick was with a girl he was far away from his family—everyone knew that.

  Maven toyed with the idea of giving Henri up so quickly. “You wouldn’t know him.”

  “Does this mean you’re over Jake and are going to quit being depressed all the time?” Maggie put a hand over her mouth at the sight of her sister’s hurt look. Her mother shot her a wicked frown.

  Maven ignored the tears stinging her eyes from her sister’s selfish words. “His name is Henri. He’s related to Sandra and April.” She dropped a pile of silverware on the plates and turned away from her mother and sister.

  But this caught her mother’s attention. She was very familiar with the name. She slowly turned away from the stove, her mouth forming a straight line. She swallowed down her concern. “Tell me about him.”

  Maven took a seat. She pushed her hair from her eyes, studying her fingernails. “I don’t know, Mom. He seems nice enough. And I really enjoyed talking to him.” Her cheeks warmed at even this admission.

  Maggie listened attentively. She wished every night she could find a boy she enjoyed being around. But she was barely fourteen and her parents were never going to allow it. And most boys that she knew did really strange things. Rocky, the rich boy in her class was constantly trying to stick his hands up every girl’s skirt. She found it a bit gross, but at the same time intriguing.

  “What do you know about him?” Her mother frowned, causing the crease between her pale eyebrows to intensify. “You were gone for quite some time. I can’t believe you didn’t talk about everything under the sun.”

  Maven pursed her lips.

  “Yeah Maven, what’s he like?” Maggie smirked, exposing her toothy grin. She slid her messy hair behind her ear. Maven smiled at her. There was something about her sister’s ingenuousness that made her immediately happy, even if most of the time Maggie was busy saying all the wrong things.

  “He’s very humble. And he has a nice sense of humor.” She looked at her mom. “And he is forever trying to keep busy. And he did something that Jake never did even once in our entire relationship.” Everyon
e’s eyes were glued to Maven, waiting for her next words. “He did something to make me happy.”

  Maggie scrunched her nose. “Like what, Maven?”

  “We got to talking about things and he told me he would go swimming with me if that would make me feel better. He knew I was sad and he was trying to make me feel better.”

  Her mother shut her mouth before she said anything to upset Maven. She hadn’t seen her daughter happy in a long time. Who was she to ruin it?

  “Something smells good in here,” Maven’s father said, resting his briefcase on the counter. He kissed all three of them before pulling up a seat next to Maggie. “How’s everything around here?”

  Maggie looked at Maven to respond. “Nothing much, just waiting on dinner, Dad.” Maven knew to keep tight-lipped on the topic of boys around her father. He was still trying to get over the first one that broke her heart. He was strict and it took a lot of prying to allow Maven to seriously date Jake, even when they grew up together. Not to mention the anger that seemed to ooze from his every pore whenever his name was mentioned in the house anymore.

  “Maven made a friend,” Her mom said, resting a bowl of salad on the countertop.

  Maven’s eyes were huge. She couldn’t believe her mom had the nerve to tell him.

  “Oh?” Was all he said in return.

  Maggie nodded. “Yeah, I think Maven has a crush on him, too.”

  Maven smoothed her hair down, feeling a bit uneasy. She wondered what her dad would say next. But before he could say anything her mother spoke. “She says his name is Henri.”

  Dad gave a nod. “That’s wonderful news. I am going to read this paper. Call me when dinner is done.”

  Maven watched him walk away. She was thunderstruck. “Since when doesn’t he care?”

  Mom smiled. “Oh he does. Anything is better than Jake right?”

  Maven gave a measured nod confused. Anything was better than Jake, but this easy going attitude was a bit atypical to her.

  Maggie jumped down from the barstool. “Maybe Dad feels now that you have had your heart broken you are mature enough to make better choices.” She shrugged, heading out of the room.

  Dinner ended. And after helping her mother with the dishes she went out to the porch. Nick was sitting on the big porch swing texting away.

  “Hey, Mave.”

  “Hey, what are you doing?” She asked, taking a seat next to him. The swing picked up speed and they fell into sync swaying back and forth.

  “I am texting April about tomorrow,” he said, never raising his head from his phone.

  “What’s tomorrow?” Maven tried looking at the text, but was quickly shoved away.

  “Are you sexting, Nicholas Wilder?” Her face lit up with amusement.

  “Tomorrow I’m taking her to see a movie,” Nick said as a matter of fact. Like it wasn’t a big deal he had more girlfriends then any normal guy his age. None of them ever lasted.

  “That sounds nice.”

  Nick dropped the phone on his thigh and leaned to the side, he slipped a hand into the pocket of his blue jeans retrieving a slip of paper. He tossed it to Maven. “April told me to give this to you.”

  Maven stared at the seven digits scrawled across the paper. She looked at Nick bewildered.

  Nick sighed. “It’s that kid’s number. She wanted you to have it.”

  She shook her head feeling ridiculous. If Henri wanted her to have his number he would have given it to her himself. She tried passing it back. Nick waved his hands denying her the chance. He grabbed hold of his phone and went right back to texting.

  “I don’t want the number if his cousin had to give it to me.”

  “She wouldn’t have given it to you if she didn’t think he didn’t want her to.” Nick argued. “You two hung out all day, all signs point to yes.”

  “Yes what?” She made a face. “What does yes mean?”

  “I don’t think he would mind if you had his number is all that I am saying.” Nick watched her slip it into her pocket.

  “So what do you think about Henri?” She looked over at him, his brown hair shielding his eyes from view. “Do you think he’s better then Jake?”

  Nick started laughing. “Are you already sizing this guy up?” He tousled her hair teasingly. “Anything is better than Jake.”

  Maven rolled her eyes. “That’s what I hear from everyone.”

  “He’s a little skinny, but he seems alright. April says he is a really nice guy.” Nick’s expression grew serious. “And you need nice people in your life, Maves.”

  She pulled the number out of her pocket studying it.

  Art

  He was sitting at the yogurt hut. Not working, just eating. Replaying the words of Dr. Wilder in his head—that things hadn’t changed. Nothing ever changed for him. But today he was saddened by this, more than usual. Today it didn’t matter how blue the sky above him was. He was miserable.

  Maven watched him from afar. Standing with her father as he shipped some packages at the post office, she held one hand against the counter, the other twirling a strand of blonde hair. She only wanted him to notice her. But he was concentrating on his yogurt and nothing else.

  Dad thanked the post office attendant, tucking his receipt in the front pocket of his shirt.

  “Did you want to head home for lunch or do you have other plans?”

  She broke her stare long enough to give her dad an answer. “I think I’m going to talk to Henri.” Her dad turned quickly, he was eager to lay eyes on Henri. He looked harmless enough.

  “Alright, I will see you later. Call if you’re going to be late.” She kissed his cheek, watching him head back the opposite direction. Maven gave herself a quick glance in the window. She ran her fingers through her long hair. Securing the small flower that was holding the side of her hair in place. She smoothed her light pink camisole and even straightened her jean shorts before taking a step in Henri’s direction.

  “Hey,” she said quickly, her shadow looming over the table where he sat. Henri lifted his head. He gave her a smile and offered her a seat.

  “What’s up, Maven?”

  Maven leaned forward, eager to be a part of conversation with him again. She had looked forward to it. “Nothing much. I’m glad I ran into you again.”

  Henri raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?”

  Maven looked around, hoping Jake and Tatiana didn’t show up like the last time she was at the yogurt hut. “Yeah, I had a nice time swimming with you.”

  Henri swallowed, looking away from the table.

  Maven studied his sudden cold demeanor. “Is everything alright, Henri?”

  Henri’s eyes met hers. “What if I said things weren’t alright?”

  Maven’s eyes grew large. “What do you mean?”

  Henri thought about confessing his secret.

  Today wasn’t the day.

  “I don’t mean anything. Sometimes my mind gets the best of me.” He crumpled his napkin, tossing it into his yogurt that he barely had eaten. “Are you up for the art museum?”

  Maven nodded. “For sure.”

  The art museum of Portwood was in walking distance of just about everything. Nobody used vehicles because everything was so close. Maven loved the old fashioned cobblestone roads and the old style street lights.

  They hurried up the massive set of museum stairs, pushed past the revolving doors and were whisked away into displays of chic artwork. The summers heat a thing of the past. The air condition pumped plenty of cool air through the small museum.

  Maven kept her arms crossed as they walked into the first room of the museum. It was a little cold. Henri’s hands were tucked into his pants pockets. There were only a couple people anywhere around them. The museum wasn’t the preferred spot during the summer. Most people were busy swimming or doing something outdoors.

  Maven stopped in front of an old oil painting, a scenic one, lush green grass, weeping willows and a young woman running across the painting as if she was place
d there later, she was so contemporary compared to the vintage feel of the backdrop, long flowing hair, supple skin. It was a piece of art.

  “This is kind of nice.” Henri stepped a little closer, his hands still caged in his jeans.