by Hood, Holly
Sandra burst into tears. April’s eyes darted back and forth between her mother and her father and her brother. She was close to losing it. She bit at her nail, barely holding her own tears back. Her mouth was dry, she was sick to her stomach. She didn’t know what to say. She looked at her aunt, Henri’s mother; she was motionless, just staring out the window.
“That’s it?” Flynn said, cutting into everyone’s sadness. “What now?”
“They are going to fight the infection, Flynn. Doctors won’t make another move without an absolute certainty that his body can handle it.”
“He said heart failure… there is no time to wait.” Flynn exhaled, his words catching in his throat. “What happens if the infection doesn’t go away?” He already knew the answer.
Janet stood, coming over to her son, his entire body trembling more then she had ever seen before. He looked like he was ready to run from the room. She wrapped her arms around him, but he was oblivious, his arms stiff and rigid and staying at his sides.
“Let’s take this one step at a time.” She closed her eyes, her face pressed against his chest. “Go see him. Talk to him, let him know you’re here for him.”
***
Henri opened his eyes, staring at the IV in his arm. He was happy to see the hospital for once in his life, but he was so tired and groggy he couldn’t stand to have his eyes open longer than a couple minutes at a time.
His machines looming beside him ceased and hummed, and finally quieted. Henri closed his eyes again. He could see her, Maven, her smile, her soft blonde hair. He could smell her.
Flynn tapped on the door, interrupting his moment. “Care for a visitor?”
Henri opened his eyes, smiling as best as he could. He tried to speak, but Flynn shushed him. He pulled up the blue chair beside the bed, resting his hands on the side of Henri’s bed.
“You had everyone worried.” Flynn eyes hid the misery he felt on the inside. He told himself to hold it together, not to cry in front of him.
Henri cracked an even bigger smile. His eyes dull and lacking that brilliance that once bestowed them whenever him and Flynn carried on a conversation.
“I had me worried,” he said slowly, his voice gruff and unrecognizable. The machine wheezed, catching Flynn off guard.
“What happened?” Flynn raised an eyebrow, leaning closer. Henri’s eye shut and he turned away. “I could guess. I always knew what you were thinking when we were kids.” He took a breath. “I know you were on your way home. I am guessing you ran into somebody on the way.”
Henri lifted a hand flashing a thumbs up sign. But he didn’t look at Flynn.
“My guess is Jake Summit.” Flynn crossed his arms, sitting back in the chair. Henri turned his hand downward. Flynn raised his eyebrows confused. He swore it was Jake Summit, who else would hurt Henri in Portwood? But there he sat staring at thumbs down anyway.
“Then who would want to hurt you, Henri? And most robbers I know take phones and cash they don’t smash windows and beat defenseless guys up.” Flynn sighed. “It was malicious, everyone knows that much.”
“What does it matter, Flynn?” Henri said, he looked at him. “What does it matter?” His hand dropped to the side like dead weight.
Flynn scratched his head in confusion. “Because now your surgery is postponed because of the idiot who did this to you.” Flynn whacked the side of his bed in agitation. He didn’t want his cousin to be so nice anymore. For once he wanted him to do the right thing.
“Maybe this was meant to happen.” Henri shut his eyes. The machines beeped and hissed again. Flynn shook his head, ready to vomit.
“This wasn’t meant to happen. You were meant to be here. Not here dying because of some jackass that has a problem with you because you’re a better guy for his girlfriend.” Flynn’s jaw flexed in anger. “Don’t do this to us.”
“I don’t have much of a choice.” Henri cracked a smile. “That’s not how it works.”
Flynn raked a hand through his hair. “You’re giving up.”
“I felt something.” Henri opened his eyes. “I felt this presence all around me before I woke up. And I saw her and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was.”
Flynn grimaced. “What are you saying, Henri? You died and came back?”
“No, I don’t know.” He sighed. “I’m really tired, Flynn. I need to get some rest.”
Flynn stood, not wanting to leave, but looking at Henri was enough to know he was struggling to carry their conversation. He placed a hand on his shoulder, his fingers slipping in between Henri and the scratchy hospital pillow. “I broke up with Tori.”
“Finally.” Henri raised his hand trying to meet up with Flynn’s but failed. It dropped back down against the white sheet.
“So, I need to get back in the game and I need my sidekick. You got to get better.” He squeezed his arm and headed out of the room.
Flynn returned to the waiting room where Dr. Wilder sat with his family. She clutched some papers in one hand, his mother and her seemed to be deep in conversation. Flynn took the seat beside his mother.
“So this device…it will help Henri until we can get rid of the infection?”
Dr. Wilder nodded, looking over her chart. “If all goes well they look to place the device after he has been treated with antibiotics for twenty four hours. This will keep Henri going until we can find another step.”
“Another step?” Flynn questioned. “What about this procedure he was supposed to have?”
“Dr. Nevil doesn’t feel Henri is a good candidate after reading over his medical history.” Flynn’s mother dropped her gaze. She had gotten her hopes up for nothing. Something that turned out would never happen for Henri anyway.
Flynn dropped his head into his hands. “So, now what?”
“Dr. Wilder was telling us about a device that is used when a patient’s condition is severe. This will keep Henri with us until we can get him a donor.” Flynn’s jaw dropped. Janet’s bottom lip quivered and tears filled her eyes. She shook her head frustrated. “I know, Flynn, don’t remind me.”
Flynn’s muffled sobs escaped his hands. They all knew the same thing. Henri would never accept a heart. He would refuse to be added to the list. The same nightmare as the last time, the same nightmare all over again.
Flynn jumped up, ignoring his mother. He rushed down the hall and pushed open Henri’s hospital door. “You have to agree to the donor list.”
Henri’s eyes opened. He immediately shook his head.
“Don’t say no. Don’t say anything. Henri you have to do this.” Flynn told him again.
Henri closed his eyes, shutting Flynn out. But that didn’t make him go away.
“Think about Maven. Think about all the good times you guys still could have if you go on that list. That’s something worth sticking around for right?” Flynn leaned against the doorway, he didn’t have the strength to sit down beside his dying cousin and beg him to accept the list.
“I want you to tell her,” Henri said. “Be there for her because she’s going to be miserable because of me.”
Flynn pushed off the doorframe. “Fuck you, if you don’t want her miserable then go on the damn list, Henri!”
“She’s going to need someone.”
“She needs you, not me.” Flynn gritted his teeth. “Agree to the device they want to stick in you and I’ll tell her.”
“Flynn.”
Flynn kicked the frame of the door letting out an angry scream, his tennis shoes screeching across the floor of the hospital as he took off.
Henri dropped his head, closing his eyes. He pictured her eyes, blue and calm staring into him. And soon he felt like he was there with her—right beside her.
The machines beeped and whirred.
Take it
The broadly spread rays of light crawled across the wooden porch, only breaking apart when Flynn’s dress shoes stepped in the middle of the shafts of light. Small particles appeared and then fluttered, disappearing altoget
her.
Flynn brought his knuckles down hard on the wooden door. He moved to the side, peering into the small square pane of the door that from where he stood lead into a foyer. He eyed the white and blue porcelain water bowl that sat atop a wooden stand. Probably an antique he thought.
A young girl, hardly resembling Maven shuffled unhurriedly to the door, her head low, her gaze hidden behind a mess of honey blonde hair. Just as her fingertips met with the knob on her side, she raised her head, her light brown eyes piercing Flynn’s. She pursed her thin crimson lips together, dropping her head to the side and shoved a tuft of hair behind one elflike ear.
“Can I help you?” She asked, her voice just as he expected, low and lacking enthusiasm. She all but rolled her eyes; it seemed it pained her to stand there and have to socialize with anyone.
“I’m Flynn, April and Sandra’s brother.” He scanned her expression for signs this was at all ringing a bell. “Henri’s cousin.” He offered, but still she held on to the door handle not impressed.
“Then you’re here for Maven or my brother Nick.” She took two steps backwards allowing him in.
“Maven. Henri sent me.” He bit down on his bottom lip giving a diminutive smile, his eyes darting around the room taking in the decorations, standing there with a girl such as this one made him uncomfortable.
“So Henri is alive,” Maggie said. She walked to the bottom of the wooden staircase; her hand grabbing hold of the globular end of the rail, her head fell back as she let out a loud scream. “Maven! You have a visitor!” She turned around, looking at Flynn. “If she’s not sleeping or crying she will be down shortly. Make yourself at home if you like.” And with that she exited, her bare feet not making even the smallest amount of sound on the tan hallway carpeting.
He had almost forgotten the reason he came, even the reason he was miserable once he met with Maggie. She had a way to pull anyone out of their grief with her barren personality.
He chose a spot in the den. Where lush brown carpet and the smell of cigar smoke put him at ease, he took a seat in a chair sandwiched between the window and a corner bookshelf. He leaned forward, dropping his arms on his legs and surveyed the assortment of books. Mark Twain, Sylvia Plath, to Poe and some more contemporary such as Judy Blume and Rl Stine and even Jk Rowling.
He settled into the chair, resting his arms on either side of the fat arm rest. He studied the picture frames precisely placed on the wall furthest away, someone had spent a lot of time making sure they were flawlessly lined into rows. Maven was in virtually every picture out of the ten or so that adorned the wall.
He stood, studying the first picture. It was Maven wearing one of those outrageously large white hats, in a navy blue and white polka dot bikini, one hand holding the hat down, the other on her slim hip. The wind swept her hair behind her making it look as if it was trying to flee. Her perfectly straight and sparkling white teeth on display for the world to see, she really was stunning he admitted to himself, all the years his family had stayed in Portwood he wondered how he never noticed until his cousin did. He understood why Henri cared. He could see it in every photograph with her in it. She had something special, she oozed something wonderful.
Maven stood in the doorway. Looking at Flynn still dressed in his clothes from the hop made her feel nervous. It made everything that much more real. She touched the doorframe, watching him stare at her family photos. Finally when it didn’t seem he was going to turn around and see that she was there she cleared her throat.
Flynn turned on his heels, his dark eyebrows lifted causing a slight horizontal row of creases in his forehead. “Hey…how are you?” The creases smoothed. Flynn stuffed his hands in his pockets, dropping his gaze to the carpet as he found the chair again. He sat down, looking at her.
She was wearing a navy blue pair of shorts and a billowy white tank top, the bottoms of her shorts cuffed, hitting her high on the thigh. White beads dangled from her neck, and her hair collected in the back in a braided twist secured with a white clip. Small strands falling in her eyes and around her ears as if she had been sleeping before she came down. But he saw no signs of it in her eyes, they were clear and alert.
“How is he?” She took a seat on the loveseat parked across from him, a dark coffee table between them. She drew one of her legs up tightly, tucking a throw pillow beside her for comfort.
Flynn cleared his throat. He scratched his head and then ran his hand through his brown hair. Suddenly he wasn’t sure how to go about saying it. As her blue eyes stared, clinging to his every movement he was taken far out of his comfort zone. He exhaled, clapping his hands together and dropped forward. His elbow digging a little too hard into the muscle of his leg, he was tense.
“Henri asked me to come here and tell you what is happening.” He started, licking his lips and releasing a silent breath of stressed air. “His heart is failing.” Flynn refused to look at her as he recounted what he could of what the doctors and his mother threw at him. None of it made any sense to him, but he spit it out anyways. “His heart is failing. They want him on the donor list, but Henri refuses just like before.”
Maven’s face heated. She touched her chest, feeling her heart speeding up on the inside. “What happened, Flynn?” Before she heard the worse she wanted to know what brought them all to this ungodly result. Where had Henri gone off to that night?
“We found him behind the yogurt hut. Someone attacked him, but Henri says he doesn’t know who it was.” He knew it was a lie. He wasn’t sure why he was lying for him. “He’s a little banged up, but now he has some kind of infection or something.”
Maven dropped her leg to the floor beside her other one. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly. “I should have let him walk me home. I was so excited for him to have the surgery that I told him not to worry about me.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s my fault, I snuck him out of the house knowing he needed to stay home for this surgery coming up.” Flynn sighed. “They won’t do anything for him until the infection is gone, he can’t have the surgery and they want to set him up on some device to pump his heart for him until he can receive a transplant…” Flynn trailed off. The room fell silent.
Maven didn’t know what to say. The moment seemed to be staring all of them head on now. The moment she never wanted to come.
Maven pushed the nagging thought out of her head that Jake had anything to do with Henri ending up in the hospital. She would deal with that later. There was too much happening to focus on Jake.
“Maybe you could get through to him,” Flynn said, breaking the quiet, the thought striking him for the first time.
Maven was doubtful. “He told me how he felt about getting a heart. He most likely won’t listen to me.”
Flynn stood up. He rounded the table in a single footstep and took her by the wrist. “But you’re willing to try right?”
The truth was she was beyond scared. She was afraid to see Henri knowing he was not doing well and not going to get better if he didn’t accept some kind of help.
“I’m afraid this is going to be goodbye.” She followed Flynn into the foyer, her hair falling into her eyes, but she didn’t bother pushing it out of the way to get a better look at him. Flynn’s large hand raised, his fingers brushed her hair away from her eyes quickly, he planted both hands on her shoulders squeezing them unconscientiously and looked into her eyes with a desperation she had never seen before.
“What if he says no?” She finally blinked, tears spilling from her eyes.
Flynn scanned her expression. “How could he say no to you?”
Maven hesitated. She didn’t agree with Flynn’s insubstantial assumption. This was life or death. Henri wasn’t going to change his views because of who she was.
“All we can do is try.” He offered his hand. Maven threw up a hand, telling him to wait and ran down the hall to the closet to pull out a pair of sandals. She jumped into her shoes quickly, running back down the hallway to Flynn who waited patiently for he
r to return and offer her hand. She placed her hand in his palm. They dashed out of the house and down the porch steps in a hurry to talk some sense into Henri.
Flynn opened the passenger door for Maven and ran around to the driver’s side in a flash. He poked the key into the ignition firing up the truck, the smell of dirt and exhaust wafting in through the windows as he backed up, dirt and dry leaves swirled behind them in a homemade cyclone as they jetted down the only road to Portwood Hospital.
Who said?
Every footstep brought her closer to Henri. Past the never-ending beige rail that swept the entire length of the hospital walls only vanishing at each doorway, doorways that held people on their deathbeds, people recovering, all kinds of people.
