He heaved a sigh, as if his next question had already been asked and answered. ‘Car park?’
Cass nodded. ‘Car park.’
Jack popped his head into the treatment area, checking that the family weren’t ready to go yet, and they walked silently out of A and E.
‘You’re sure about this, now?’ He was strolling next to her, his hands in his pockets.
No, she wasn’t sure at all. Not about any of it. Cass stopped between two cars and stood in close, putting her right leg in between his, trying to imagine that he was a practice dummy. It wasn’t working.
‘Mind your back.’ He chose this moment to grin at her and offer advice. Cass ignored it.
Grabbing his right arm, she positioned it over her left shoulder. Then, in one fluid movement, she bent her knees, wound her left arm around the back of his leg and lifted him off his feet.
‘There. Easy.’ She felt him put his free hand on the small of her back, balancing his weight and steadying her. It wasn’t quite as easy as she was making out, but she could walk a dozen steps before she swung him back down on to his feet.
‘Impressive.’ He looked impressed as well. Some men would object to a woman being able to carry them, others might suffer it in silence, but she’d never imagined that it might be a cause for congratulation. But then Jack was different to most men.
Or perhaps he wasn’t. His lips curled, and suddenly she was pressed hard up against him, his leg between hers. ‘Hey...!’
‘Sorry. That’s not right, is it?’ He eased back a bit, turning what felt a lot like an embrace into the exact position for a lift. Then she found herself swung up on to his shoulders with about as much effort as it would have taken to swat a fly.
His right arm was wound around the back of her knee, his hand holding her arm. Perfect form. Perfect balance.
‘Not bad.’
He chuckled. ‘What’s wrong with it?’
What was wrong with it was that the primitive beat of her heart actually wanted him to carry her off to his lair and claim her as his. He’d lifted her with no apparent effort last night, and she’d always assumed that he was perfectly capable of slinging her over his shoulder, but having him do it was something different.
‘You’re not running.’
He settled her weight on his shoulders and started to stroll slowly back to A and E. ‘Paramedics never run when they can walk. We don’t go in for all that macho firefighter stuff.’
‘Cheek!’ She smacked at his back with her free hand. ‘Are you calling me macho?’
‘Never. Takes a real woman to do what you do.’
She tapped his shoulder. ‘Thinking of letting me down any time soon?’ She was getting to like this far too much. His scent, the feel of his body. The sudden dizzy feeling that accompanied his compliments.
‘Oh. Yeah, of course.’ He didn’t bend to set her back down on her feet, just shifted her around so that she slithered to the ground against his body.
‘You lost marks there.’ She stared up into his eyes.
‘I know. Worth it, though.’
It was the most exquisite kind of letting go. Forgetting about the effort and the stress of the morning and taking something for themselves, even if it was just messing around in a car park, testing each other’s strength. And if it meant any more than that, Cass was going to choose to ignore it.
‘Suppose we should get back.’ He nodded and they started back towards the hospital building. Back towards the cares of the day, the problems that still needed to be solved. And still neither of them had said anything about the one thing that she couldn’t stop thinking about. That kiss.
* * *
The smell of a Sunday roast pervaded the church hall and people were busy smoothing tablecloths and positioning cutlery. Everything neat and tidy, as if the families of Holme were determined to show themselves, and each other, that despite everything which had been thrown at them in the last few weeks, life went on.
Jack popped his head around the kitchen door to ask what time lunch would be, fully expecting to be shooed away, but instead he was drawn in and questioned rigorously about Sylvie and her family. He imparted the news that they were all recovering well, that Sylvie was spending tonight under observation in the hospital and that the family would stay with her sister in town. In return, he was told that no one knew where Cass was, but that she’d gone out about half an hour ago, saying she wouldn’t be long.
Armed with half a packet of biscuits, and the knowledge that it would be another hour before lunch was served, he walked through the winding passageways at the back of the church, losing his way a couple of times, but finally managing to find the corridor that led to the porch. When he opened the door, no one was there.
* * *
He wondered whether he should sit down and wait for Cass. This was her private place and it seemed like an intrusion, but he needed to talk to her alone.
He had to make a choice. He could leave, and thank his lucky stars that the constant demands of other people had meant that one brief but sensational kiss was all they’d been able to share. Or he could live with that mistake and not let it stop him from doing the right thing.
He heard footsteps approaching the door. When she opened the door into the porch she was rubbing her face, as if supremely weary. In that moment, Jack knew that he cared about her far too much to leave her here, with such a heavy weight of responsibility on her shoulders.
‘Jack!’ As soon as she caught sight of him she seemed to rally herself. ‘What’s the matter?’
‘Nothing.’
She shot him a puzzled look, then dropped the pair of waders she was holding and took off her coat.
‘Where have you been?’ She pressed her lips together in reply and Jack gave up trying to pretend that he didn’t know. ‘Your house?’
‘Yeah.’
Jack swallowed the temptation to say that if she’d told him he would have gone with her. ‘What’s it like down there?’
She sat down, clearly trying not to look at him. ‘Wet. Pretty dismal.’
‘And how are you feeling?’
Cass gave a grim smile. ‘Pretty dismal too.’
He leaned across, handing her the packet of biscuits. ‘Chocolate digestive?’ It was little enough, but at least she took them.
She unwrapped the packet, her fingers clumsy, as if she were numb. ‘What are these for?’
‘I want to talk to you. I reckoned that offering you food might keep you in one place for a minute.’
She pulled a biscuit out of the packet, the ghost of a smile playing around her lips. ‘You have my undivided attention.’ She waved the biscuit. ‘Almost.’
Jack smiled at her. It wasn’t much of a joke, but then she must be feeling pretty horrible right now. ‘You’re going back to work tomorrow? Your fire station’s the one in town, isn’t it?’
She nodded. ‘Yeah. Early start. I’m trying not to think about it.’
She was going to have to think about it tomorrow. Trying to use the showers without waking everyone else up. Getting across the water, alone and in the chill darkness of an early morning. Arriving at work already exhausted. Jack tried one last gambit before he suggested the only other solution he could think of. ‘You don’t have anywhere you can stay in town? A friend?’
‘Normally I would. But there are so many people flooded out that no one’s got any room at the moment.’
‘I live pretty close to town. You could stay with me and Ellie.’ Including Ellie in the invitation might make it sound a little less as if he was trying to make a pass at her. ‘I have a spare room so you’d have your own space.’
She stared at him blankly. ‘My own space?’
‘Yeah.’ Saying that the kiss had meant nothing was far too big a lie to even contemplate. ‘La
st night is...then. And today is...’
‘Now...?’ Tension hovered in the air between them and clearly Cass knew exactly what he was talking about. Perhaps she’d been thinking about it too.
‘Yeah. Then and now. Concentrate on now.’
She shook her head slowly. ‘I appreciate the offer. But I should stay here.’
‘Cass, you know that’s not going to work. Goodness only knows how long it’ll take you to get to work from here. You’ll do a demanding job, then come back here and find there are a load of other problems to deal with. It’s too much and you know it.’
‘I can manage.’ Her voice was flat, measured. Jack knew that she was close to breaking point and if pushing her a little further was what it took to make her see sense...
‘No, actually, you can’t manage. This village owes you a great deal. But no one wants you here now. You need a break, and if you don’t take it then you’ll make a mistake. You and I can’t afford to make mistakes, not in our jobs.’
Shock registered in her eyes and then she twisted her mouth in a parody of a grin. ‘Kick a girl when she’s down, why don’t you.’
‘If that’s what it takes.’ He’d resolved that he wouldn’t touch her, that he’d demonstrate that he could keep his distance. But even a friend would offer comfort. Jack shifted over to sit next to her and wrapped one arm tightly around her shoulder. He might not have managed to persuade Cass, but he’d persuaded himself. Leaving her behind was totally out of the question.
* * *
He always seemed so warm. So solid. And she still felt as if the ground had been whipped out from under her feet, after the shock of wading through the dirty water that was almost a foot deep in the ground floor of her house.
‘I suppose...’ She shifted a little, wondering if he’d let her go, and gratifyingly he didn’t take the hint. ‘I suppose you’re going to say that I don’t have any other choice.’
‘Nah.’ He rested his chin lightly on the top of her head. ‘I’m not going to waste my breath by telling you what you already know.’
Even now, he made her smile. If close proximity to Jack was hard, then continuing on here without him would be harder still. And since he seemed so intent on disregarding the kiss, then she could too. She could turn a blind eye to the clutter of Ellie’s things around her and resist the temptation to pick the little girl up and hold her to her heart.
‘Maybe just a couple of days. You won’t know I’m there...’
‘You can make as much noise and as much mess as you like. That’s one of the rules of the house.’
Cass thought for a moment. ‘I cook...’
‘Great. Knock yourself out. We can take it in turns; I wouldn’t mind a few evenings off.’
He had an answer for everything. And right now Cass couldn’t see any further than a hot meal and a night’s sleep, uninterrupted by worry. She straightened, disentangling herself from his arms, and Jack moved back quickly.
‘Okay. Thanks.’
* * *
As soon as Jack made up his mind to do something, he just did it. No messing around, no fuss. Martin would keep an eye on her house while she was gone, and she was assured time and time again that she was doing the right thing. Jack had quietly overseen everything, and if the feeling that the whole village was handing her over to him was a little strange it wasn’t a bad one.
Lunch had been eaten and Martin had stood up to make a brief speech, sending them on their way with the thanks and good wishes of the community. Hugs had been exchanged and they’d walked out into the sunshine.
‘Not giving me a chance to change my mind?’ Jack had propelled Cass firmly into the car that was waiting outside.
‘May as well go now, while the rain holds off.’ He shot her a sizzling grin. ‘And I’m not giving you the chance to change your mind.’
By the time they reached his house, it was raining again. Jack showed her up to the spare room, told her to make herself at home and disappeared to collect Ellie, leaving Cass to sit on the bed and draw breath for the first time in what seemed like for ever.
She looked around. The room was clearly hardly used, meticulously tidy and a little chilly from having the door closed and the heating turned off. But it was bright and comfortable and, for the next few days, it was her space.
It was quiet too. After the bustle of the vicarage and the church hall, this seemed like heaven. She listened at the silence for a while. Maybe this hadn’t been such a bad idea after all.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE EVENING HAD passed in a welter of good manners and keeping their distance. The next morning was rather less formal, on account of the rush to get Ellie up and both of them out of the house in time for work, but Jack reckoned that they were doing okay. Then he got the phone call.
He’d picked Ellie up from Sarah’s in a daze of misery. Done his best to pretend that there was nothing wrong, until after he’d tucked Ellie in and kissed her goodnight. When he went back downstairs, the house was quiet.
‘What’s the matter?’ Cass was sitting on the edge of one of the armchairs, looking at him thoughtfully.
‘Nothing. Long day.’ She’d come here for a break. He didn’t want to burden her with his problems.
‘Don’t do that to me. I told you mine, and now you can tell me yours. That’s the deal, Jack, and if you don’t like it then I’m out.’
In that moment, Jack knew that this was all that he’d wanted. Someone to come home to. Someone he could share this with.
‘It’s Mimi. She’s been hurt.’
‘When?’
Jack slumped down onto the sofa. ‘Yesterday afternoon. I heard about it this morning; Rafe called me when I was on my way to work. I went straight in to see how she was...’ He closed his eyes, the lump in his throat preventing him from saying any more.
The sofa cushions moved as Cass sat down beside him. ‘And how is she?’
‘She’s in the ICU. None of her injuries are life-threatening, but she’s in a bad way. I went up at lunchtime and they let me sit with her for half an hour.’
‘Is she awake?’
He shook his head. ‘It’s better they keep her under sedation for a while.’
‘Would you like to go back now? I’ll stay here and look after Ellie.’
‘There’s no point. They won’t let me in, and there’s nothing I can do. Rafe’s promised to phone if there’s any change.’
He felt her fingers touch the back of his hand and he pulled away from her. That wasn’t going to help. Nothing was going to help.
‘What is it, Jack?’
‘You think that this isn’t enough?’ He heard anger flare in his voice and it shocked him. When he glared at Cass, she flushed, pressing her lips together. Now wasn’t the time for her to clam up on him.
‘Just say it, Cass. You really can’t make anything any worse.’
‘Things could be a lot worse and you know it. Since when did you give up on anyone, Jack?’
‘I am not...’ The denial sprang to Jack’s lips before he realised that Cass had seen a lot more than he had. Giving up on Mimi was exactly what he was doing.
All he wanted her to do was hold him. Maybe she saw that too because she reached across, taking his shaking hands between hers. Jack could never imagine that Cass’s touch could be anything other than exciting, but now it was soothing.
‘I’m afraid of losing her, Cass. She went into a building and it flooded...’ He shook his head. ‘Why did she have to go and do that?’
‘Same reason you would, I imagine. This isn’t really about Mimi, is it?’
Cass always seemed to see right through him, and right now it was the only thing that could bring him any comfort. ‘I was so angry with my father when he died. I felt he cared more about getting off on the risk than h
e did about us. Sal too...’
Cass let go of his hands, curling her arms around his shoulders. Jack hung on to her as tightly as if he were drowning.
‘I’d be angry too. But you have to forget that now because Mimi’s your friend and she deserves your trust. You have to believe in her.’
She’d cut right to the heart of it. To his heart. The thought that once again he might lose someone who was important in his life had torn at him all day. He hadn’t been able to see past his anger, hadn’t even allowed himself to feel any hope for Mimi.
‘I let her down, didn’t I?’
‘No. And you’re not going to either, because you’re going back to the ICU tomorrow and you’re going to tell her how much you care about her, and that you know she’s going to get better. Even if she can’t hear you.’
‘Perhaps she can. You always have to assume that even heavily sedated patients can hear what’s going on.’
‘Well, in that case you’d better make it convincing.’ The flicker of a smile caressed her lips. ‘Go on. Let’s see your convincing face.’
She could make him laugh even when things were bad. She might not be able to make all the worry disappear, nor could she drive away all the simmering fear and anger, but she knew how to give him hope. Jack gave an approximation of his most earnest expression and she shook her head, laughing.
‘I’d stick with the one you gave Lynette. I wouldn’t buy a used car off you if you looked at me like that.’
* * *
She made him a drink, and got a smile in return, but she could still feel the pain leaking out of him. He wasn’t just dealing with Mimi being hurt; he was dealing with all of the remembered pain of his father’s death. All of the fears he had for Ellie.
The best she could do tonight was help him to switch off for a while. She knew his gaze was on her back as she ran her finger along the books on the shelf, spelling the titles out quietly to herself.
Reaching for the book that she and Izzy had shared, she turned to Jack. ‘I don’t suppose you’d like to read...’
Saved by the Single Dad Page 10
