by April Munday
The area around the racecourse was crowded; the races were more popular than she had realised. They were held frequently and had obviously become fashionable. She wondered if she had not missed an opportunity here.
“I have been practising what you taught me,” said Franz, when she said that this might be a good place to pick up information. “Although I have learned only a little more about some men’s debts than Edmund has learned at the card table. This is a place to be seen, not to talk.”
Sophia had to agree. They were surrounded by elegantly dressed men and women, including, she saw to her dismay, her mother, together with her lover and a boy who must be one of their sons. She had never seen either of her half-brothers and she stared for a moment before Franz asked, “Who’s that?”
“I believe it’s my brother. We will not talk of it.”
“This is not much of a friendship if there are so many things I may not mention.”
“Nonetheless, we will not talk about my mother, or her preference for her other children.”
“Perhaps you should give me a list of the things we can discuss.”
This was not fair, so Sophia made no reply. Instead she turned away from her mother, just as the woman gave a sign of having recognised her.
Her earlier good mood evaporated.
“There. That will be a good place to stand.”
Franz led her to a position from which they would have a good view of most of the course, including the winning post.
“You’re quite the expert,” she said.
“One of my colleagues chose it,” he admitted.
“Now I understand why you come here so often.”
“During a race, everyone’s attention is on the horses. It can be a good time to exchange information.”
“And today?”
“Today I am here for the pleasure of your company.”
“Then I hope it truly will be a pleasure.”
Sophia allowed herself to be overcome by Franz’s optimism and they were soon laughing and smiling together. It was only when she saw the horses being led out for the third race that she realised why she should not have come today; John was one of the riders. Taller than the others, he drew her eyes to him. From Franz’s sharp intake of breath, she knew that he had also seen John. It was stupid, really, not to have considered the possibility that he would be here.
Sophia could not take her eyes off John, staring at him as if she could see into his soul. She expected him to look different, now that she knew what was said of him, but he did not. He held himself straight, as always, and was paying more attention to his horse than to his surroundings. The horse nuzzled his neck and, for a brief moment, John smiled. Sophia’s heart stopped beating, then started again with a steady pulse.
“I will bet you two guilder that Captain Warren wins,” she said.
“He is taller and heavier than the rest. He cannot win.”
“Then you shall have my two guilder.”
“You have seen him race before.”
“No, but I’ve seen his horse.”
“Then I shall have your money.”
“And your bet?”
Franz hesitated. “Also two guilder.”
“Then you’re not as convinced as you said you were.”
“Two guilder, Sophia. All the other horses might trip over something.”
Assuming this was an example of what might pass for humour in Prussia, Sophia allowed herself to smile.
They watched the horses and riders prepare for the start. Although they were some distance away, it was easy enough for her to distinguish John. When the race started, the horses burst onto the track. Sophia concentrated on John. The horse moved with fluidity and John moved with it. She had taken an interest in the horse when they had brought it from Paris, simply because it was John’s, but now she saw how he loved to run.
Although he was a peacemaker, John was competitive and he hated to lose. Sophia knew that he would do everything he could, as long as it was honourable, to win the race. Hearing Franz curse beside her, she knew that he also understood.
Gradually John drew ahead of the other riders.
“His horse isn’t even working hard,” said Franz, clearly annoyed.
“No, but he would. He would run until he dropped.”
“You know horses.”
“I know that horse. I grant you that on almost any other horse Captain Warren would be too tall and too heavy. On that horse, however...”
The race was coming to its conclusion and John was close enough for her to see the intense concentration on his face. Even now he was not taking his victory for granted. He urged the horse forward and it ran faster still. There was a polite cheer. It seemed that John was an unpopular winner.
“Many people have lost money on this race,” said Franz. “Lieutenant Williams was the favourite.”
Sophia did not even try to seek out the man he was pointing at. John had jumped down from his horse and was making a fuss of him, then he led him away from the track. Just before he turned back towards the stables he looked straight at her. It lasted barely a second before he walked away, but she was glad he knew she had been there to see him win.
“There will be a break between the races now,” said Franz. “There is food in the carriage if you wish to eat.”
“Yes, thank you, I could eat something.”
She took his proffered arm and they went back to the carriage, where the light meal waited for them. Sophia did not bet again, but Franz was successful in taking money from some acquaintances. As she settled herself in the carriage to return to Brussels, Sophia was satisfied.
“I like that little smile you have when you think no one’s watching you,” said Franz.
“Was I smiling? I didn’t know”
All her satisfaction vanished and she knew what must come next.
“I do not think you can be surprised to know that I am very fond of you. No, I love you. I wish to marry you.”
He moved from his side of the carriage to sit next to her. For a moment she was afraid he would take her hands.
“Franz...”
“Say nothing yet. Please let me speak. I know you do not love me. For now I ask only that you will allow me the opportunity to demonstrate my love to you. We are friends, which must count as something.”
“I do like you Franz. I like you a great deal, but I do not and cannot love you.”
“You have been mistaken before.”
“Have I? Who told you that? Not Edmund or Mary.”
No one else, except John, knew. Unless… It was only her anger at being talked about that kept away the blush of her embarrassment as she recalled how little constraint she had shown when she had pursued Edmund. No wonder John had been upset. Sophia set her spine straight.
“You are right, of course. I was mistaken before, but it is because I was mistaken then that I am certain now.” She tried to keep her anger under control, but could not. “Who have you been talking to about this?”
Franz let out a heavy sigh.
“You encouraged me to listen to gossip. There is gossip about you and Edmund. They say that you pursued him, but he was too wrapped up with his mistress, Louise Favelle, to notice.”
Sophia’s face became warm as she blushed. She had been the cause of gossip about Edmund. All this time she had thought that she had been so subtle, but the gossip had come to Brussels.
“Oh, no.”
“So I looked for the truth in the gossip and since I know that Edmund had an affair with the Frenchwoman, I thought there might be some truth in the other.”
“The only truth in it was that I loved Edmund. He knew I loved him. Mary knew I loved him.”
John knew that she had loved Edmund and it appeared that everyone else had guessed it.
“This is terrible. Do they know?” At his blank look she said, “Do Mary and Edmund know that we are the subject of gossip?”
“I don’t know, I have never discussed it with them
.”
“Then I must tell them.”
“Must you?”
“Of course. This is dreadful.”
“Would it not be better to ignore it?”
“Yes, but they deserve to know what’s being said.”
“Very well.”
Sophia sank back into the seat, aghast at what she had done.
“If it helps, many people don’t believe and those that do think it makes him more interesting.”
“Everyone knows the Frenchwoman left London because he spurned her advances,” she said forcefully.
“That’s not what I heard,” said Franz, “and I heard it from Edmund.”
“I wasn’t sure,” admitted Sophia.
If Edmund trusted him enough to tell him about what had happened in the Frenchwoman’s cellar, when he had killed the French spy, she could trust him with more.
Franz settled back into his own seat.
“It makes no difference to my plan.”
“Your pl...? Oh, please believe me, Franz, you will lose my friendship if you seek my love.”
“I can wait.”
She said nothing and wondered how much she valued his friendship. The conclusion she came to would have upset him, but she knew what true friendship was worth and that was not what Franz was offering.
Sophia did not know what to do with Franz’s declaration. She was not kept busy enough to be able to avoid thinking about it. There was not even the opportunity to discuss it with Mary, for her daughter was born a few days after April slipped into May. The relief in the house was palpable and Sophia had no wish to detract attention from mother and daughter.
To his credit, Franz did not make a nuisance of himself. He kept her company, but did not force himself upon her. When she was not sitting with Mary, Sophia was with the boys. There was simply too much time to think about John as well as Franz.
Sophia was not surprised to discover that John had waited until she had taken the boys to see the parade to visit and offer his congratulations to Edmund. She should have been surprised that he had come at all, but she was not. He knew what his duty was and he knew how to perform it without risk to Sophia’s reputation.
When she found it impossible to work out what to do about Franz, she set her mind to what was happening across the border in France. Now that he was no longer distracted by fears of his wife’s safety, Edmund complained constantly that being at war with Bonaparte and not with France made reconnaissance almost impossible. Louis XVIII was an ally and, technically, so was France. Allied troops could not cross the border to reconnoitre, even though it was known that the French had taken up defensive positions just across the border. It did not take a great strategist to know that the most likely outcome of the next few weeks was an invasion of France by the allies. Each day more soldiers arrived and spirits in Brussels had lifted when Wellington had come to Brussels at the beginning of April to take command of them.
Sophia thought it more likely that Bonaparte would risk everything by coming into Belgium and not wait for the allied armies to get to full strength. She and Franz argued about this for hours, then set their minds to how they might find out.
“It’s obvious really,” she said one dreary afternoon as they sat in the drawing-room watching the heavy rain beat against the windows.
“Is it?” he asked.
“If they’re going to cross the border they will have Bonaparte with them.”
“Of course they will, but how does this help us?”
“We must have someone with the army who can get word to us when Bonaparte arrives, then Wellington will know what to do.”
“But there is always the same difficulty,” protested Franz.
Sophia set herself to solve the problem of getting word of the armies’ movements back to Brussels. It should not be beyond the wit of an intelligent woman.
“For someone who is not in love with Franz, you talk about him a lot.”
Sophia and Mary were in the sitting-room. Freddie and Philippe were pretending to play with their soldiers on the floor, but spent more time looking into the cradle at their sister. Mary smiled at them indulgently.
“I spend a lot of time with him. He… he hopes to marry me.”
Mary put her sewing into her lap and looked at Sophia. Sophia was relieved that she did not smile.
“He has declared himself?”
“Yes.”
“Do you wish to marry him?”
Sophia shook her head.
“But?” prompted her friend.
“I want what you have.”
“And you think you will find it with Franz?”
“No, but I know that John…”
She could hardly get his name out without crying. Mary turned to the boys.
“Freddie, Philippe, please go to your Papa and tell him that it’s time for a mathematics lesion.”
“But Philippe is too young, Maman. He hardly knows his numbers,” protested Freddie.
“Then that is what Papa will teach him.”
Reluctantly the boys kissed their sister, then Freddie bowed to his stepmother and Sophia, took his brother’s hand and led him out of the room.
“Edmund will understand that we need some privacy,” said Mary.
Sophia had noticed that mathematics lessons were usually followed by study on Freddie’s part and sleep on Philippe’s and that enabled Edmund and Mary to have at least an hour alone without interruption.
“I’m sorry,” sniffled Sophia, “I didn’t mean to ruin your first day out of bed.”
“It is far from ruined, my dear.” Mary took Sophia’s hand. “You must know how dear you are to me and Edmund.”
Sophia nodded. Everything else in her life might be uncertain, but their friendship was unwavering.
“It has been painful for us to see how you have suffered recently. Had things been different we could have…”
“No,” said Sophia. “It is right and just that you should have been concentrating on Elizabeth. My problems are as nothing compared to that. “
“Yet I suspect it has made you think about what might have been.”
“Of course. But what might have been cannot be.”
“And you would settle for second best?”
Sophia wiped her tears away and looked at her friend.
“There is no second best,” she said. “It’s John or nothing.”
Sophia expected Mary’s reaction to be one of horror, but her friend surprised her.
“Can you live with nothing?”
Sophia glanced at the cradle in which Elizabeth lay sleeping. Was she really prepared to give up all hope of children of her own because she could not marry John?
“How could I have a child whose father is not John?” she said. “How could I bear to have another man touch me in that way?”
She shuddered at the thought. When she recovered herself she asked, “Could you?”
“No.” Mary shook her head. “As soon as I met Edmund I knew it was him or no one. I… I did not want children of my own, as you do. I was content to love Freddie and to have his love.” She smiled suddenly, “But nothing will compare to the joy of seeing Edmund’s face the first time he held Philippe.”
“I have wanted that all my life,” said Sophia. “The Warrens are a large family and I have seen the joy with which each one was welcomed into the world. I didn’t know then that it was John’s children I wanted, but now I do.”
“Despite everything you know about him?”
“Despite all of that.”
“And yet there is Franz,” said Mary.
“I have done nothing to encourage him.”
“I don’t doubt it.”
“I turned him down.”
“Do you think that is an end to it?”
Sophia stared at her hands which were clasped in her lap.
“No. I think he will propose again.”
“So do I.”
“I don’t… I can’t…”
“Would
you like Edmund to talk to him?”
“No. I can do it. But I thank you for the offer.”
Sophia continued to stare at her hands, then she frowned and looked up.
“Edmund doesn’t approve, does he?”
“Edmund approves of love matches,” said Mary quickly.
Sophia was not so easily fooled. Edmund had something else in mind.
John was not used to receiving visitors at all, let alone late at night. With his landlady’s help the room was made ready before the man was shown up, for, unlike Mrs Arbuthnot, he refused to be entertained in the street.
“Herr Schröder, we could have met in more salubrious surroundings.”
John bowed, but Franz did not.
“I would not have anyone know I have been to see you.”
John snorted.
“You fear that my reputation will rub off on you.”
“I fear only more gossip about Sophia.”
John had heard nothing; how could there be anything to say about her? Then he recalled that she had ridden across France alone dressed like a man. People had seen her riding through Paris covered in dirt and wearing breeches. There might have been other escapades of this nature in the past. He almost asked what was being said about her, but decided not to give the Prussian the satisfaction of knowing that he was curious. It had taken him a while to realise how much he had exposed Sophia to when he had abandoned his rôle as protector and turned to his other pursuits and his lack of foresight made him angry.
“You’re saying that gossip about you would harm her?” he asked.
Franz nodded. John had not noticed that their relationship was that close, and he had paid a great deal of attention when he saw them together. He had quickly understood what was going on with Captain Dennis and the gambler and Sophia’s feelings about these two men were clear to him. It seemed to him that she treated Franz in the same way she did every other man. It had not surprised him to see them together at the races; they lived in the same house and Edmund trusted the Prussian. Of course he would be Sophia’s escort, but that was not the same thing as a relationship between them.
“Then you’re here about her,” he guessed.
It took all his diplomatic skills to disguise his anger.
“Yes.”
“Go on.”