by Lucy Evanson
Polly’s brow crinkled, and she set down her cup, which had been halfway to her lips. “Couldn’t you have waited to tell me that until I at least had my coffee?” she asked.
Melanie gave her a sad smile. She had wavered back and forth all night about her decision. Even now, she wasn’t entirely sure she’d made the right choice. Sitting here with Polly, having coffee in the quiet predawn darkness, she felt like she was where she belonged. But when she thought about what she wanted out of her life in a larger sense, it was easy to see that the ranch couldn’t offer her what she needed. Or, at least, David couldn’t.
“And where are you going, anyway? You’re not still headed to Iowa City, are you? Because I told you, I don’t think—”
“I’m going to Minneapolis.” It wasn’t until this morning that she’d decided where to go. After sleeping on it, the answer had come to her delivered by a dream, but until she’d said it aloud, it hadn’t seemed entirely real. Now it was out there, and she couldn’t take it back. There was no guarantee that she would find what she was looking for there either, but at least she knew where she would start.
Polly took a sip of her coffee now, though Melanie couldn’t tell whether her pinched expression came from the bitterness of the coffee or that of the news. “Well, I’m going to miss you around here,” Polly said.
Melanie reached for her aunt’s hand. “And I’m going to miss you,” she said. “I’m sorry I’m leaving when you’re just getting back on your feet. I don’t mean to leave all the work to you when you’re not feeling up to it.”
“Honey, don’t let that bother you for a single minute,” Polly said. “I was pretending.”
“What?”
“None of it was real,” Polly said. “I’m fine. I never had any nervous attack, or fainting spell, or anything of the kind.”
“But I saw you, right here, unconscious on the floor!”
“You saw me on the floor, but I laid down there after I dropped the platter. I was just fooling.”
“Well, what’d you do that for? You had me worried sick half the time. And exhausted the other half!”
“I know. I’m sorry about that,” Polly said. “I truly am. I didn’t mean to make you worry. It’s just...well, I suppose it doesn’t matter, now that you’re leaving.”
“What is it?”
Polly took another sip of coffee, as though to put off what she was about to say. “I was hoping that if you stuck around here a while, and you spent some time with David...well, I just thought that it would be good for both of you if you got to know each other.”
Melanie sat back in her chair. She had to chuckle as she thought of all the time she’d spent with David lately. “I did get to know him, that’s for sure,” she said. “A lot better than I was expecting to after that first day, anyway.” In spite of everything he’d said lately, it was hard to uproot the feelings Melanie had begun to have for him. They would have to wither of their own accord. “For a little while there I was thinking that it would be good for us too. But it turns out he’s not the man for me.”
Polly drew in a long breath and let it out slowly. “David doesn’t know what he wants, is the problem.”
“He knows what he doesn’t want, at least,” Melanie said. “And what he doesn’t want is a wife.”
There was no way to rebut that; Polly simply nodded for a while before she spoke again. “What about the boy?”
The same question had kept Melanie up half the night, and her eyes began to sting just at the thought of leaving Lee behind. “Look after him for me, would you? Keep him here as long as you can,” she said. “You two will be better family for him than the one he has.”
“I can think of an even better family for him, but I guess that’s neither here nor there,” Polly said. “Not now, anyway. Do you need time to pack?”
“I’m already finished,” Melanie said. “That’s the good thing about traveling light.”
“I’ll go wake up Barney and have him get a carriage ready. I imagine you don’t want David taking you into town,” Polly said.
“I appreciate it, Polly.” She went to her aunt and gave her a long hug, though in the end it still felt too brief. “I’ll go get my things.”
An hour later, after more hugs and not a few tears, Melanie was at the town depot. She had her ticket in hand, her book at her side, and a couple of hours to wait for the train to Minnesota. She sat there reading, watching the occasional train pass by in the dim light, and trying to avoid thinking about how it almost felt like she was leaving home. When the sun finally rose over the hills it filled the station with a golden light, and it was hard to imagine that it was anything but an omen of brighter days ahead.
~ ~ ~
As the sunlight penetrated his eyelids, forcing him awake, David imagined that an icepick couldn’t have felt much worse. He was hungry and thirsty and nauseated all at once, and he let out a groan when he realized that he was going to have to face the day.
There were some men that went in for a little hair of the dog—Benz, he imagined, could have recommended a variety of breakfast liqueurs—but David was not one of them. There were only three things that he found helped him out on mornings like this: more sleep, a little food and some coffee. Sleep would have to wait. He had work to do today. But food and coffee, he could handle.
He swung his feet over the side of the bed and slowly sat up. Truth be told, he didn’t remember even coming to bed, which helped explain why he was still wearing his pants and boots. He dropped his head to his hands. There had been some whiskey involved. That much was certain. They had put up the barn, then he had started drinking...and somewhere along the way he had yelled at Melanie to leave him alone.
Damn. He cracked open his eyes a bit. The sunlight was pouring onto his floor, warm and bright, trying to burn away every bit of dirt and darkness. His stomach gurgled uncomfortably, though it wasn’t simply due to his hunger or his drinking. All he could remember was Melanie’s face, with those beautiful eyes full of concern for him, and how he’d barked at her like an angry dog. It made him feel dirty in a way that the sun wouldn’t be able to burn away.
David got to his feet, albeit unsteadily, and found yesterday’s shirt on the floor. It was wrinkled and smelled none too good. It matched how he was feeling right about now, in fact. He put it on and stumbled into the hall.
Polly was in the kitchen, sitting at the table with coffee and a newspaper. A big pot of oatmeal was on the stove and there was a basket of boiled eggs ready to go for the ranch hands’ breakfast.
It was like she didn’t even notice that he arrived in the kitchen. David settled heavily into the seat across from her, and he spoke only when it became obvious that she wasn’t going to. “Can I get something to eat, Polly?”
“Go right ahead,” she murmured, without looking up. “It’s your house.”
“I mean, would you get me something to eat?”
“No.”
He blinked a couple of times. It was a short word, but surely he’d misheard it. “What?”
Now Polly looked up. “I said no. You want to do everything on your own? Fine,” she said. “Get your own breakfast.”
David rubbed his temples, though it did nothing to assuage the pain. “You’re going to have to bear with me for a minute,” he said. “I’m not thinking too clear this morning, but it seems like you’re a little bit upset about something.”
She quietly, carefully folded the newspaper, and then sharply smacked him on top of his head.
“Dammit, Polly! What was that for?”
“You think I’m upset? Of course I am!” she snapped. “I’ve been coddling you too long, and yes, mothering you when I should have stopped a long time ago. You’re not a boy any longer. You’re a grown man, and it’s time to start acting like one.”
“You’re right.”
She had raised the newspaper again, as if getting ready to smack more sass out of him, but she paused in midair. “What did you say?”
; It felt like his head was just about to explode, though he certainly couldn’t fault Polly for that. Not entirely, anyway. “You’re right,” he repeated. “You and Melanie, both of you were right. And I was wrong.”
Polly settled back down in her chair, crossing her arms and staring at him suspiciously, like he had agreed too easily. “Wrong about what?”
“About everything,” he said. “I always thought I was better off alone, but I don’t want to be alone anymore.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’ve told you more times than I can count, I didn’t want a wife,” he said. “Didn’t need one. But I guess I’ve been wrong on both counts.”
Polly’s eyes drilled into him. “Are you pulling my leg again?”
“No, I’m serious,” he said. “I want other people in my life.” Good God, how could I have been so foolish to deny that? Saying the words aloud, David felt like he’d broken free in some way, like chains had bound his chest but now he could breathe anew. “I want Melanie in my life.”
Polly was quiet for a long while, and the expression on her face became sweetly sad. “Did you tell her that?”
He sighed as he looked up at the ceiling. “Not exactly,” he said. “Best I remember, I kind of yelled at her a little bit and told her I didn’t want her around.”
Polly reached for her newspaper again as her expression went from sweet to sour. “I’m beginning to see why you’re still not married,” she said.
“I know. I screwed everything up,” he said. “You know, when she first came out here, I thought she was just this silly girl who cared more about her book than anything else.”
“Maybe she didn’t give you the best impression right away. From what I hear, that’s something you two have in common.”
“I can’t deny it,” he said. “But then I saw the way she was with you, the way she was with Lee. I saw how much she cares about people, and I got to thinking, I want somebody to care about me that way too. When the storm came through, well...I guess I finally realized how few opportunities we get to be happy in this life. I don’t want to waste my chance.”
“Are you telling me it took a tornado to make you come to your senses? It took an act of God to get you to think right?”
“Pretty much,” he muttered.
“Well, I guess better late than never,” Polly said. “But why are you telling me about all this? You should have told Melanie.”
“I know, I know,” David said. “I kind of just put it all together.” He ran his hands over his face. He needed a shave and he reeked of old sweat. Not exactly the most attractive I’ve ever been, he thought. “I’ll make it up to her,” he said. “I’m going to go tell her I’m sorry, and what’s more, I’m going to tell her how I feel. After I get cleaned up a bit.”
“I won’t argue about you getting cleaned up. But you’re not going to tell Melanie anything,” Polly said. “You’re too late.”
Chapter 14
No time. He had no time to wait for the water to heat up on the stovetop to take a leisurely bath; instead he grabbed some clean clothes from his wardrobe and washed up outside, buck naked in the sunshine, with water straight from the well, so cold it felt like his heart would stop. He had no time to wait for his coffee to cool; he gulped down half a cup before he realized just how hot it was, and as he saddled Charger it felt like he was evenly balanced out: scorched on the inside and frozen on the outside. He had no time to worry about that either.
David leaped into the saddle and only paused to lean forward, putting his mouth close to Charger’s ear. “Sorry about this, old boy,” he murmured, then kicked hard. They left clumps of turf flying in their wake.
Polly was probably right. He could feel in the pit of his stomach that he was too late, but there was no way he was going to just sit back and accept that without at least trying to catch her. Until he saw that train rolling out of town, taking Melanie out of his life, there was hope, as desperate as it was fervent.
Of course, catching the train was one thing. Convincing Melanie to stay was another, and it would probably make this whole ride seem easy by comparison. Whether it was the coffee, the cold water or the fresh air, his mind and memory were becoming clearer. Everything he’d said to her recently seemed to echo inside. I’m not the marrying kind. I don’t need you. He felt each word like they had taken bites out of him. He had a lot to answer for, if he was going to ask her to stay with him.
A nasty voice arose in the back of his mind. What do you really expect her to say? You told her that you didn’t want a wife in general, and you didn’t want her in particular. It doesn’t exactly paint you as an ideal fiancé. David gritted his teeth and rode on.
When they reached the top of the hill, he pulled back on Charger’s reins and stood up in the stirrups. The railroad cut across the earth, splitting Mineral Point, but there were no trains to be seen on the line, neither coming nor going. I either made it in time, he thought, or I’m far too late. He stared hard at the town below. The train station was on the edge of town, but he could see neither the depot nor the train from up here, as his view was blocked by some of the taller buildings. What he could see in that direction, however, was a pair of puffy clouds rising, one black and one white. The white one faded quickly, but the black one lingered in the air. Smoke and steam. Just like what one would see when a locomotive was starting up.
Lord, no, he thought. Make it wait. He kicked hard again to start Charger down the hill. Trains that were headed east had to climb out of the valley, which made for a slow start. Trains that were headed west—like those going to Minnesota—started off downhill for a good long portion, which meant that they got up to speed right quick.
Melanie would be gone before he could reach her. Probably. There was only one way to find out.
~ ~ ~
She looked over her shoulder at the large clock hanging above the ticket window. It wouldn’t be much longer now. The locomotive was already started, and the engine clanked and hissed, spitting out steam like some odd beast, more animal than machine. Soon she would board the train, settle into her seat, and in a few hours she’d be ready to start a whole new life, God willing.
The ranch had begun to feel like home to her, and although she wasn’t thrilled with leaving home again so quickly, she was starting to get used to it. There was no way she’d get used to leaving her family behind, however.
She already missed Polly. And Lee, of course. He might as well have been family, for the bond she felt with him. And she had to admit that she was going to miss David as well. The family that might have been, she thought.
Her memories were bittersweet. She never would have guessed that one’s spirit could be bruised, but that’s exactly what it felt like. David’s words had hurt when he’d thrown them at her, and they still hurt today. It would be some time before their marks would fade away. Yet when she thought of him, when she tried to conjure him up in her mind, she didn’t first remember the anger he’d shown, the snarl that escaped from his throat, or any of that.
She remembered the way he’d been there for Polly. She remembered the way he’d gone back for Lee, ready to fight the boy’s father, if it had come to it. The way he’d been ready to give up his own life to save hers in the storm. And the way he’d pulled her to him and kissed her like she’d only dreamed of. He’s been there for everybody, all the time. He’s the most responsible, bravest man I’ve ever met. The only problem is that he doesn't want to be that man.
She stared down at the book that sat beside her on the bench. She had known for a long time that life wasn’t like a romance novel, in ways both good and bad. Bad, because real life wasn’t nearly so pleasant. And good, because at least now she knew not to waste her life expecting a happy ending that wasn’t coming.
Still, there was the nagging desire to find out how things turned out, both in books and in life. She almost reluctantly picked up Love’s Summer Bloom and found her place.
Penny stood there in the doorway, sil
ently, simply watching Lord Wellstone. He was staring into the fire, though from the look on his face she couldn’t be sure that he was actually seeing anything in front of him. His face bore the faraway expression of one who was consumed by thought.
It wasn’t surprising, of course; he had planned to marry. To live happily with his new wife. To again start a family, to create new heirs to Whitelake Manor, to preserve and extend his family upon this earth. And Penny had brought an end to all of that.
She cleared her throat softly and stepped into the room. He turned his face slightly from the hearth, and when he looked at her she saw the flames in his eyes. It was an odd match; his general expression was full of sorrow and worry, yet his gaze was full of dancing light.
“I’ll be bringing your tea now, Lord Wellstone.”
Normally he would have responded with a nod, or perhaps a word or two, but today he simply shook his head. “No,” he said. “You won’t.”
Penny felt a chill in her chest, as if she had taken a breath of fresh winter air. “Beg your pardon?”
“You won’t be bringing me my tea, nor anything else,” he said. “Your employment here is over.”
“Over?” She was sure that she had heard him correctly, but she simply didn’t want to believe it. It felt like her heart had fallen right through the floor. She had been certain that he would understand her motivations. She had been wrong. “You’re letting me go?”
“Well, I have to, don’t I?” He smiled then, so warmly and sweetly that it distracted her for a second, but only for a second. Her mind had begun to flood with thoughts of what would befall her outside the protection of Whitelake Manor’s walls.
“But I did what I did only out of loyalty,” she said. Her voice was racing now, almost as quickly as her mind. Women like her were lucky to get even one chance in this life. The world would chew her up and spit her out now, like so much gristle. “Out of duty. Out of...love.” The last word leaped out by itself, and Penny felt her brow begin to burn. A fine thing, confessing one’s feelings when it was far, far too late.
