by Marta Perry
“Ryder is having fun. Why can’t I have fun, too?”
“Would you like to take a turn driving Dandy?” Ben asked.
Kimi arched one eyebrow. “That is not fun. Texting my friends is fun.”
“Suit yourself, but you’re not going to get much reception up in these hills.”
“How far are we going?” Sally asked.
“The McIntyre family owns five hundred acres of forest above Carson Lake. It’s about three miles as the crow flies. It will take an hour.”
“An hour round trip? You’ve got to be kidding.” Kimi looked ready to jump out and walk home.
“An hour there and an hour back,” he clarified. “Plus, we have to stop in to see your great-grandmother. That will take at least another hour.”
Kimi pointed off to the side. “There’s a row of trees. They look great. Cut down one of them and save us two hours.”
Ben caught a glimpse of Sally’s smile and shared her amusement before he remembered the conversation they needed to have. He couldn’t do anything to foster her mistaken impression that he wanted to be her boyfriend. “They have been planted to make a windbreak along the field. I don’t think our neighbor would like it if we cut down one that belonged to him.”
Ryder looked them over and shook his head. “I’ll know the perfect tree when I see it, Kimi. I get to pick. Grandma said so.”
“Fine. Just make it quick.” She leaned back and snuggled under the blanket.
Sally said, “Relax, Kimi. Enjoy the ride. Your grandmother is right. You’ll never forget this experience.” There was a wistful, husky quality in her voice that Ben found strangely appealing. Everything about her seemed different, somehow. He glanced back and found her staring at him. She gave him a sad little smile and looked away.
It bothered him to see her sad.
Ben took the reins and pushed Dandy to a faster pace. The sooner they finished this outing, the better.
* * *
The ride through the open country was as pretty as Sally could have wished for. The horse carried them along an old logging road that gradually climbed a long ridge of hills. It ran between stands of thick forest with open breaks that afforded breathtakingly beautiful views of the Amish farms spread out across the wide, snow-covered valley below. She couldn’t see her father’s farm from here, but it was nice to be this close to home. If only Ben wasn’t upset with her.
She stared at his broad back and admired the way he handled Ryder and the horse at the same time. He would make a good father someday.
A stab of sorrow shot through her chest. He would be a good father, but she wouldn’t be the mother of his children. She forced herself to admire the scenery and not think about the man handling the reins.
A few smaller roads branched off the main track as the road climbed, but they all led deeper into the woods. None of them bore signs of recent travel. After nearly thirty minutes in the sleigh, a lone deer ran across the road in front of them.
“Do you hunt, Ben?” Ryder asked.
“I go hunting with my daed and my older brother Adrian every year.”
“I didn’t think the Amish touched guns,” Kimi said in surprise.
Ben glanced back at her. “We do for hunting, but we can never raise a gun against a man.”
“But you can shoot someone to protect yourself, can’t you?” Ryder asked.
Ben shook his head. “No, never. We must pray for the wrongdoers. Our lives are in God’s hands, not in our own.”
“The Amish must submit meekly to those who would harm us,” Sally said, failing to keep the bitterness out of her tone.
“That’s messed up,” Kimi said.
“Yes, it is,” Sally agreed softly. She kept her eyes on Ben’s back, but he didn’t turn around. She wasn’t meek and she didn’t have to pretend that she was anymore.
It started to snow a short time later. The flakes were small and light and added to the beauty of the ride. Sally relaxed and started enjoying the quiet stillness of the snow-covered woods. The only sounds were the hiss of the sleigh runners gliding over the snow, the jingle of harness bells and Ryder’s occasional questions. It was never this quiet in the city.
At last, Ben drew Dandy to a stop. “This is it.”
Off to the side of the road stretched a wide-open, gently sloping hillside with hundreds of trees that were only a few years old. Sally realized why Mrs. McIntyre had sent them here. About thirty acres of forest had been clear-cut. The replanted trees, mostly white pine and balsam fir, were just the right size for the McIntyre’s great room.
Kimi threw her lap robe on the floor of the sleigh and got out first. She took Ryder by the hand and led him to the closest tree. “This one is perfect. Get your saw.”
“No, it’s crooked.”
“Okay.” She led him to another. “This one is straight.”
“But it’s got a hole in the branches. See?” He ran down the row, stopping every few trees and then running on.
“Don’t go far, Ryder,” Sally called after him. It wouldn’t take much for the energetic boy to get confused in the maze of green.
“I won’t.”
“Tell me what you do if you get lost,” she said.
“I stay put and you’ll come get me.”
“That’s right.”
“Or follow your tracks back here if you can’t see us,” Ben said as he got down from his seat. Ryder waved and kept going.
“I should go with them,” Sally stood up.
“We need to talk, Sally.”
She decided to ignore his comment. She didn’t want to talk to him. She just wanted the day to be over. “I’m going to follow the children.”
He stepped in front of her to block her way as she tried to rush past him. Her feet tangled in Kimi’s lap robe. She tripped and fell headlong out of the sleigh and into Ben’s arms. The impact sent him backwards into the snow with Sally on top of him. Stunned, they lay face-to-face, staring at one another.
Chapter Four
Surprised, Ben lay in the snow with Sally clasped to his chest. Her face was inches from his. There were snowflakes caught on the tips of her thick lashes. He stared into her wide, startled eyes. Bright cornflower blue, they had tiny streaks of silver in them. He’d never noticed that before. The freckles scattered across her nose were downright cute. Her lips were parted ever so slightly.
What would it be like to kiss her?
She closed her eyes and his scattered wits returned. What was he thinking? He was not about to kiss Sally Yoder. Ever. She was doing it again. Throwing herself at him. This time literally.
He rolled to the side, depositing her in a fresh drift of snow as he scrambled to his feet. “Stop this foolishness, Sally. I’m not going to date you even if you throw yourself at me all day. If you were the last woman on earth, I’d still think twice about marrying you.”
Her wide eyes filled with tears. Her bottom lip quivered pitifully before she bit down on it. Remorse sucked the air from Ben’s lungs. He’d gone too far. It wasn’t his intention to be hurtful. Sometimes, she brought out the worst in him. He extended a hand to help her up. “I’m sorry.”
She blinked furiously and batted his hand away. “I wouldn’t marry you, Ben Lapp, if you were the last man on earth and you begged me on bended knee. And I wouldn’t have to think twice about it.”
Jumping to her feet, she furiously brushed the snow from her clothes. “And I did not throw myself at you. I tripped.”
“Well, excuse me for jumping to the wrong conclusion, but you’ve given me plenty of reason to expect such behavior.”
Her chin came up as she faced him and blinked away her tears. She took a deep breath and shoved her hands in her coat pockets. “I admit that I may have behaved badly in the past, but I got over that t
eenage silliness ages ago. If you thought otherwise, that is your mistake.”
She pushed past him and moved to stand beside the horse. Staring straight ahead, she said, “I did not want to come to the farm, but I couldn’t talk Mrs. Higgins out of it. I really did not want to come on this outing today, but Mrs. McIntyre insisted. I’m not here because I’m dying to spend time with you, Ben. The truth is I’m dying to get back to the house. Go help Ryder find a tree so we can put an end to this painful situation.”
He sighed. “I didn’t say having you here was painful.”
She turned around and glared at him. “Frankly, I don’t care. It’s becoming unbearable for me. Go make sure the kinder don’t get lost.”
He scowled. Now she was going to boss him around? “I thought watching the children was your job?”
“Fine. Stay here and watch the horse, stable boy.” As she stomped away, he could tell she was still fuming by the way she kept her head up. Better to have her mad at him than to have her in tears. He couldn’t bear it when a woman cried.
Her forceful steps sent her braid swaying again and drew his attention to the curve of her figure in her jeans. She was an attractive woman, he had to admit that much. Maybe he hadn’t noticed it before because he’d spent all his time trying to avoid her.
It wasn’t until she vanished from sight behind a curtain of white that he realized how heavy the snow had gotten.
* * *
I’m not going to cry. Not over him.
Sally wiped the moisture from her eyes. She got it. He was not now, nor would he ever be, interested in her. Good, because she was done being interested in him.
Although it had felt amazing to be held by him, if only for a moment.
His words hurt, but she forgave him. She’d made a nuisance of herself in the past. She could hardly blame him for assuming she was up to her old tricks. This was exactly like something she would have done last year. Before she realized how much she cared for him. Before she realized her behavior might be hurting him.
Was he seeing someone now that she was out of his life? He hadn’t mentioned that.
No, he just said he wouldn’t marry her if she were the last woman on earth. Well, that was good because she wasn’t staying Amish. She was a free woman who would control her own fate. She didn’t need a husband.
She saw the children just ahead of her. She sniffed once more and composed herself. If she concentrated on her job, she wouldn’t have time to think about Ben. She was being paid to take care of the children. She called out, “Have you found the tree you want, Ryder?”
“Maybe. What do you think of this one?”
She came to stand beside him and give the fir due consideration. “It’s nice, but since I have never had a Christmas tree before, it would be better to ask your sister what she thinks.”
“It’s fine.” Kimi said with her shoulders hunched against the cold.
“You think they’re all fine.” He walked around the tree looking it over carefully.
Kimi held out her phone and snapped a picture. “If it will make you feel better, I’ll ask my friends what they think. I’m posting this to my social media sites.”
A few moments later, she held the phone out so he could read the text. “Jen says it’s the prettiest tree she has ever seen. And you know she has great taste. Her mother is an interior designer.”
Sally wasn’t quite sure what an interior designer was, but it seemed to satisfy Ryder. “Okay, this one it is.”
“Goot,” Ben said, coming up behind Sally. She took a step to the side, crossed her arms and stared at her feet. She was afraid of what he might see in her eyes. He ignored her and handed Ryder a small saw. “Trim away the lowest branches while I get the chain saw.”
Ryder started working with enthusiasm, but he had only one limb severed by the time Ben returned. Motioning for Ryder to stand back, Ben gave a quick pull of the starter rope. The chain saw roared to life and the stillness of the snow-covered woods was replaced by the whine of the blade slicing through the wood. The smell of fresh-cut pine scented the air, along with gasoline fumes.
Sally felt a moment of sadness for the small tree as it toppled. “It seems sad to cut down a perfectly good tree.”
“Why?” Ryder asked.
“Because birds will never nest in its branches. It will never tower above the landscape. It won’t supply fuel to heat a family’s home or be used as lumber to build something useful.”
Sally noticed Ben was staring at her with an odd expression and she fell silent. A blush heated her cheeks. Would it be this way forever when she was around him? Would she always be so intensely aware of him? If so, it was a good thing she lived in the city now.
“The tree is being useful,” Ryder declared. “It will remind us that it’s Christmas and there will be lots of presents under it.” He looked up at Ben. “Where do the Amish put their presents if they don’t have a tree?”
“My parents put a present for each kinder on their plate at the kitchen table on Christmas morning.”
Ryder’s eyes widened in shock. “Only one present?”
Ben smiled at him. “Sometimes two. Nuts and candy, too. For us, Christmas isn’t about getting gifts and such fancy stuff. It’s about remembering our Savior’s birth. He is God’s greatest gift to us.”
“Sally says the same thing,” Kimi said.
“Does she?” Ben asked quietly.
Sally glanced his way and found him watching her with a soft look in his eyes that made her stomach do flip-flops. How was she going to get over him when he looked at her like that? “Just because I chose to live in the city doesn’t mean I have forgotten the important things in life.”
“I’m glad.”
“Can we go now?” Kimi shifted from one foot to the other.
For once, Sally concurred with the girl’s impatient attitude. The sooner they got back to the farm the better. Hopefully, today would be the last day she would have to spend in Ben’s company.
“Ja, we should get going,” Ben said as he took hold of the tree trunk.
“Finally.” Kimi rushed toward the sleigh.
Sally should have followed her, but she found herself asking, “Do you need help, Ben?”
“Nee. Ryder and I can manage, can’t we?”
“We sure can.” The boy’s chest puffed out and he grabbed the back end of the tree.
Sally followed the pair, noticing the way Ben shortened his long stride to allow Ryder to keep up with him. Kimi was already at the sleigh, brushing the accumulated snow off her spot in the backseat when they arrived. She plopped down and pulled the lap robe up to her chin. Sally cleaned off her spot and then the front seat while Ben and Ryder secured the tree.
“Danki,” Ben said as she finished. Sally took her place in the backseat.
“What does danki mean?” Ryder asked as he climbed up beside Ben.
“It means thank you in Pennsylvania Dutch,” Ben picked up the reins and turned the horse toward Granny Weaver’s home.
“Danki.” Ryder repeated the word. “How do you say horse?”
“Gual,” Ben replied. “Or if you have a horse in harness, like Dandy is, you could say, fuah. Mie gual or mie fuah. My horse or my harnessed horse.”
Ryder repeated the words and then asked, “How do you say grandmother?”
“Grossmammi.”
“How do I say I’m having a wonderful time?”
“Are you?” Ben grinned at him.
“I sure am.”
“Then wonderful is wunderbarr.”
Kimi kicked the back of the seat in front of her. “Enough with the questions, Ryder.”
The boy leaned close to Ben. “How do you say my sister is a pain?”
Sally smothered a laugh at Kimi’s outraged expression
.
Ryder continued to quiz Ben about names for different things as they made their way down from the hills. He answered the boy patiently and even let him drive again. The snow continued to fall heavily. Sally noted with concern that the tracks they had made on the way up were almost completely filled in.
“I’m getting kinda cold,” Ryder said from the front seat.
Ben pulled the horse to a stop. “Why don’t you get in the back and get under the blanket with your sister. That way you’ll be out of the wind.”
Ryder jumped out and wedged himself into the backseat beside Sally. He pulled the blanket his way and uncovered his sister in the process.
“There’s not enough room back here for him,” Kimi complained. She yanked the lap robe back and held on to it as she glared at him.
“But I’m cold,” he wailed.
His teeth were beginning to chatter, but Kimi was right. The sleigh was built to carry two people in front and two in back. It wouldn’t hold three of them comfortably, even though Ryder was small. Sally got up and let him have her place. He scooted close to his sister. Sally tucked them both in. Kimi lifted the corner of the lap robe and covered his head. “Is that better?”
“Much. Thanks, sissy,” came his muffled reply.
“Whatever,” Kimi shot back, but her usual sarcasm was missing. Sally knew Kimi did care about her brother, though she tried to hide the fact. It was a rare moment when she let her affection show.
Once Sally had the children settled, that left her with only one place to sit. Beside Ben.
Would he blame her for this situation, too? Perhaps she should suggest that Kimi ride up front. She glanced at the children. She doubted Kimi would agree. Both children were cold and tired. And they weren’t getting any warmer while she stood there staring at the empty space on the front seat.
Ben jerked his head toward the spot beside him. “Come on, get in. I won’t bite.”
She hesitated for a second, then quickly climbed in. “I’m more worried about being growled at.”
“I won’t growl, either. I’m sorry I barked at you earlier. Am I forgiven?”
“I reckon.”
