Instead, he’d washed her, she’d washed him, and now she was going to join him in the kitchen where she smelled the heavenly aroma of coffee brewing. After wasting enough time, Tessa finally ventured in that direction.
“Hey, puppies,” she greeted her huskies when they met her in the hallway that led from her bedroom to the main living room. They were pouncing around, but neither of them actually jumped on her – a feat that had taken her months to accomplish. Considering they both weighed upwards of eighty pounds, Tessa appreciated them staying on the floor rather than on top of her. “Y’all wanna go outside?”
Leading them through the house, she let them slip through the back screen door before she turned to face Cooper who was standing in front of her stove.
Shirtless.
She wasn’t sure which was more mouthwatering, the sight of him barefoot or…
“Hey, where’d you get more jeans?” she asked him as she realized he was partially dressed, but a few minutes ago he’d gotten in the shower with his jeans on.
“From my truck. I keep a bag there, just in case.”
The thought made Tessa’s stomach churn and not in a good way. Did he keep clothes on hand in the event he spent the night with a woman?
“Don’t go there, Tessa. That’s not the reason,” he said with a firm tone before turning back to the food he was preparing on the stove. “Get some coffee, then sit. I’ll finish up here, and we’ll eat.”
Not wanting to argue, mainly because she didn’t want to even think about what had happened the night before, Tessa did as she was told. She prepared two cups of coffee and left his sitting in front of the coffee pot while she carried hers to the table. Staring down at the scarred wood, she allowed the events of last night to play out in her mind.
She remembered Izzy coming over with just what the doctor ordered. The bottle of vodka had been just what she needed to muddle her brain enough that she didn’t have to think about Cooper. Well, that was only partially true. The vodka had helped, but she never once stopped thinking about Cooper.
The rest of the night was fuzzy. At some point, she remembered Cooper arriving, and a strange excitement had filled her. Obviously she was getting too attached to him that she was glad to see him, hoping like hell he was going to tell her that Marcus was a liar.
Only he hadn’t said that.
She didn’t think he had anyway.
A plate full of food was pushed in front of her, and Tessa glanced up to see Cooper watching her. Rather than sitting down, he disappeared down the hall, returning a minute later with a couple of aspirin in his hand. After handing those to her, he left again, coming back with a glass of orange juice.
Why did he have to do that? Why did he have to think of everything? She’d much prefer him to be the asshole she expected him to be.
Like Chad.
Couldn’t he just get defensive and blame everything on her? It would make things so much easier. More specifically, walking away would be easier.
“Eat,” he commanded as he dropped into the chair beside her.
Tessa knew she should. She was famished, and the breakfast actually looked wonderful. Eggs, bacon, toast. Everything cooked to perfection and sitting in front of her, beckoning her. Only her stomach wasn’t listening to her mouth.
“Tessa, look at me.” Cooper’s softly spoken words had her breaking her concentration and looking up at him. She felt like she was going to cry. The tears were threatening, and she knew any minute the dam was going to break.
“I can’t do this,” she choked out.
“Yes, you can,” he argued. “Give me a chance, Tessa.”
The statement brought back the memory of Izzy insisting that she do the same thing. Last night, she’d actually been surprised that Izzy hadn’t jumped onboard the hate train and rallied against Cooper after what Tessa told her. That’s what her best friend was supposed to do. But not last night. No, Izzy had been the voice of reason, begging her to let him explain.
And here they were, but Tessa wasn’t sure she wanted to know. Hell, if Cooper wasn’t willing to have sex with her because he didn’t think she trusted him – which she didn’t – then she knew what he had to say wasn’t going to be good.
“Where’s Marcus?” she asked, hoping to derail her thoughts for a few minutes. Grabbing the piece of toast, she nibbled on the edge, staring down at her plate.
“No idea. I fired him last night,” Cooper answered, his fork clinking against the glass plate as he went to work on his food.
Tessa’s eyes flew up to meet his instantly. “You fired him?”
Cooper nodded, his mouth full of food, but he kept his eyes trained on her.
“Why?” she asked, her voice unsteady. Did he do that because of what Marcus said? Did Marcus lie to her and Cooper wasn’t having any of it?
“It was time.” That was all Cooper said before he dug back into his food.
Tessa allowed the silence to descend around them as she made a half ass attempt to eat the food he’d prepared for her. It was good, she’d give him that. Although, she wasn’t sure her stomach was going to hold it down for long. Her nerves were suddenly jumping, and her fear of what he was going to say was getting the best of her.
When they were finished, Cooper grabbed up her half empty plate and carried it to the sink with his. Tessa stared at his back – his sexy, muscled back and smooth, sculpted shoulders. Why did the man have to look so good?
“More coffee?” he asked a few minutes later when he returned to her side.
She just nodded her head, her eyes still glued to his body. She’d apparently sat there watching him the entire time, and now her insides were starting a slow boil. Damn it. She was supposed to be mad at him.
“Come on, Tessa. Let’s go sit on the porch, and I’ll explain,” Cooper stated, sounding defeated. He waited for her as she pushed out of her chair and then mindlessly headed toward the back porch rather than the front.
She had several chairs scattered on the porch, two of them the comfy kind that she loved to sit in and read on a cool evening. Because she could keep farther from him if she did, Tessa chose one of those chairs and dropped into it, taking the coffee he offered once she was seated.
Holding the cup close to her chest, she blew on the top, watching the steam as it drifted upward. She glanced over to see Cooper sitting in one of the hard back chairs, his coffee cup resting on the railing as he sat with his elbows on his knees, his hands wrapped around his downturned head.
He looked so incredibly vulnerable like that. Invisible strings on her heart tugged painfully hard, forcing her to swallow. If this was hard for him, she couldn’t imagine what it was going to do to her.
“Marcus said you do this often,” Tessa said suddenly, unable to sit there and watch him any longer. This was getting to be too difficult. He really needed to spill it and then move on. It was the only way Tessa was going to survive with her heart intact.
Ok, part of her heart intact. A very small fraction.
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
Hanging his head low, Cooper tried to gather his thoughts. Ever since he woke up that morning, Tessa’s soft, warm body beside his, he’d been trying to come up with an easy way to explain himself. He knew no matter how he told the story, she wasn’t going to be happy with him.
But he had no choice.
“Marcus told you about a woman in Arkansas,” Cooper began. It wasn’t a question, and he wasn’t expecting her to answer him, so he continued, “Her name was Tabitha. She came to one of my concerts in a neighboring town, and at the end of the night, I found her in my tour bus. That had been a bad night for me.” He remembered feeling helpless and alone that night, and he’d had half a mind to disappear at that time, but he had held tight and just went out to the bus, hoping for some time to himself.
Cooper didn’t look up as the memories of that night flooded his brain. “I was surprised to find anyone on the bus, but she seemed sweet enough, and I had learned to gently approach the fa
ns who were brave enough to go to those lengths to meet me. We talked for what seemed like hours.” Cooper looked up at her. “And no, before you ask, I didn’t have anything to drink. Just three bottles of water.”
Cooper turned his gaze to the yard, watching the two dogs as they sniffed through the flower beds that were just beneath the back porch. “She was the one who brought me the water and honestly, I didn’t think anything of it. At some point, I passed out. I didn’t know it at the time, but she’d drugged me.”
Cooper wasn’t proud of the story. He knew it would sound as though he were making shit up, but he wasn’t.
“The next morning, I woke up in my bed on the bus, completely naked with Tabitha beside me. Just as naked.” He couldn’t bring himself to meet Tessa’s eyes. “We parted ways after that. I was used to women like that, wanting to have a story to tell, so I didn’t think anything of it. I didn’t remember sleeping with her, but she told me… She confirmed that we had.” Cooper wasn’t going to go into details, but Tabitha had been particularly candid about what activities had occurred through the night.
“Three months later, I get a phone call from Tabitha. She got a hold of me through Marcus. Keep in mind, I hadn’t heard from her at all since that night.” Cooper dropped his head, staring down at the floor while he wrapped his hands behind his neck. God, he hated this story. “She told me she was pregnant. Told me she hadn’t been with anyone else before or after me and that the baby was definitely mine.”
Cooper remembered the phone call and aside from being utterly shocked, there was something else. He’d found himself somewhat excited by the idea of being a father. It hadn’t mattered that he didn’t know the woman, couldn’t even remember sleeping with her. But the part of him that had been searching for something more permanent, something that would allow him to settle down, had wrapped its hands around the idea and jumped up and down with joy.
“I went to Arkansas,” he explained. “I bought an old house close to where she was, and we spent the next two months getting to know one another. I knew when the baby was born, I was going to ask for a paternity test, but until then, I didn’t see how it could hurt for me to get to know her. If she was the mother of my child, I wanted to be there for her.”
Looking up, Cooper met Tessa’s eyes for the first time, and he saw tears there. His heart constricted. She was going to hate him after this, he could feel it.
“I never slept with her, Tessa. Not after she told me she was pregnant and as it turns out, I had never slept with her before then either. She was pregnant when she came to my tour bus, but her asshole boyfriend had left her, and she wanted to find someone to help her take care of the child. Don’t ask me why she picked me, I have no idea.
“One afternoon, the boyfriend approached me. At the time, I didn’t even know he existed. He gave me the full scoop right there in a busy restaurant close to her house. I felt like an idiot. She’d blindsided me and lied to me about the whole thing.”
“Does Marcus know the full story?” Tessa asked, the first words she’d said in quite some time.
Meeting her eyes, Cooper forced himself to his feet, pacing away from her. “Of course he knows the fucking story, Tessa.” The anger was bubbling down deep. “He made sure that I was reminded of the incident for the next six months or so. He used it to hurt me as often as he could.”
“Why did it hurt you?” she asked, sounding concerned.
Cooper stopped pacing and turned to face her. “I’m thirty-one fucking years old, Tessa. In all my life, I never imagined I’d be over thirty and single. For years I’d hoped to find the right girl, settle down, have babies,” he explained, the fury frothing like acid in his gut. “And no, maybe it’s not what most men my age are actively pursuing, but dammit, I want something of my own. I’m fucking tired of being alone.”
He turned away, running his hands through his hair before resting his palms on the porch railing. He knew how the story sounded, knew that it made him appear weak and needy, but he wasn’t going to lie to Tessa. In truth, he wanted what his parents had found nearly thirty-five years ago and to this day, he never expected it to happen to him. So when Tabitha had tricked him into believing he was going to be a father, he’d been happier than he had been in years.
Cooper’s body went rigid when he felt Tessa’s hands on his back. He hung his head low, expecting her to tell him that he needed to go, he needed to go find someone who could give him what he needed because she wasn’t that person.
But damn it, he wanted her to be. It wasn’t very often that he found a woman who treated him like a normal man. Like he wasn’t in the limelight. He liked the way she tried to keep her distance, yet relented when he pushed because no matter what, up until now, he knew she felt something for him too.
Cooper’s back hardened when her soft, cool hands were replaced by her lips. She wasn’t trying to seduce him, she was trying to comfort him, and when she wrapped her arms around him, her palms flattening on his stomach, he almost lost control of his own emotions. He couldn’t remember a time when a woman held him like that. Like they actually wanted to ease his pain.
If he hadn’t already been falling in love with her, he certainly was now.
Chapter Twenty Seven
Tessa felt the thump of Cooper’s heartbeat against her palms, the warmth of his skin against her cheek as she held on to him.
His story wasn’t what she expected to hear, and the sorrow in his voice as he told it hit her in a strange way. As much as she wanted to deny the truth, the pained look in Cooper’s eyes had told her he wasn’t lying. And it helped to explain the sadness she’d seen when she had brought up kids before. Some of what he said was probably difficult for him to admit. Based on the way he stood stone still in front of her confirmed it.
He wanted a family, and he’d been conned into believing he was going to be a father. Above all else, he’d done the right thing. Something many men wouldn’t do. She had to admire him for that, even if her heart was breaking for what he’d been through. She wanted to find the Tabitha girl and claw her eyes out for hurting him like that.
Tessa was just about to say something when her back screen door flew open, slamming into the wall, making her jump. She turned to see Jack barreling toward her and Cooper like the house was on fire.
“Sonuvabitch! What the fuck did you do to my sister?” Jack growled as he moved closer.
Cooper’s sudden movement caught Tessa off guard, and when she began to stumble, he righted her and then eased her behind him as he went toe to toe with her younger brother.
“Jack! Don’t!” she yelled, trying to move around Cooper. He wasn’t having any of it, and she was getting pissed off by the way that he was trying to protect her.
This was her brother.
Slapping his arm away, Tessa moved around Cooper, watching as Jack got right up in Cooper’s face. Granted, Jack was closer to six-foot-six compared to Cooper’s six-foot-two, so they didn’t meet eye to eye.
“You bastard! If you hurt her, I’ll fucking kill you!”
“You don’t want to do this, Jack,” Cooper warned, his voice calm but eerily low.
His body language didn’t at all resemble the tone of his voice though. He appeared rigidly defensive, but he wasn’t aggressive toward Jack physically.
“Nothing happened,” Tessa told him, trying to push her way between them. “Dammit, Jack! Nothing happened!”
“No?” Jack barked, never moving out of Cooper’s face. “Then why did I hear you went home last night after this shithead’s manager stopped in? How do you explain that?”
Tessa grabbed Jack’s arm and forced him back an inch. Not that she could’ve budged him if he didn’t want to move, but he placated her.
“I didn’t feel well,” she explained. That was the truth. After she spoke to Marcus, her stomach had been churning painfully from her grief. But, in Cooper’s defense, she hadn’t given him a chance to explain himself.
Jack pinned his stare back on Coope
r who hadn’t moved from where he was standing, his fists clenched at his sides.
“You hurt her, and I’ll hurt you. Understand me?” Jack asked.
“You don’t want to do this, Jack,” Cooper repeated. “You’re gonna want to take a step back.”
Tessa could feel Cooper’s ire as it radiated off of him like a heat wave in summer.
“Jack, stop. Cooper didn’t hurt me,” she told her brother. She looked up at Cooper, waiting until he looked at her before she said, “He wouldn’t hurt me.” The sudden realization made her body tremble and tears rush to her eyes.
He wouldn’t hurt her. He was one of the good ones. Even if she was scared senseless about what that meant for them. She didn’t want to invite more heartache into her life, but she found that she trusted him. Something that she didn’t do easily. After Richie died, leaving her utterly alone and Chad had tried to sabotage her reputation because he didn’t get his way, rightfully so, she was jaded.
But just like Izzy suggested, Tessa had managed to give Cooper a chance. And here he was copping to his innermost insecurities, and she knew without a doubt that he wasn’t going to hurt her. At least not on purpose.
“Never,” Cooper whispered, his eyes locked with hers. “I promise you that.”
Grabbing Jack’s arm, she applied as much force as she could, pulling him backward. “Now, go on. Thank you for wanting to protect me, little brother, but it’s time for you to go.”
Jack stood motionless, staring at her like she had morphed into something alien right before his eyes. “Fine,” Jack said quietly. “Just remember that I won’t tolerate anyone hurting her. You get me.”
“Sounds like we’ve got something in common,” Cooper answered, his brown eyes calmer than they had been moments ago.
Without another word, Jack turned and stalked back in the direction he came. The screen door slammed once more, followed by the front door a few seconds later.
“I’m sorry about that,” Tessa said, pacing away from him.
Chasing Dreams (Devil's Bend) Page 24
