The sound of feet on the ladder caused Lynn to glance over her shoulder. Kim climbed up onto the platform.
“I’m sorry about that back there. I should have put a stop to it,” Kim apologized at once.
“It’s all right.”
“Carma was just getting carried away at my expense. She forgot that you’re an Imprinter and you don’t...” Kim’s sentence trailed away.
Lynn returned to the panorama of mountains, her gaze fixing on the distance. “No. I don’t.” She mouthed the words too softly for Kim to hear.
“It’s just, you don’t normally seem to mind and...no one meant to embarrass you.”
“I wasn’t embarrassed. Just because I have to be celibate doesn’t mean I’m under some delusion that everyone else is too.”
Kim came and stood beside her, leaning on the railing. Lynn was painfully aware of every millimeter that separated their two elbows. Silence followed while she waited for Kim to frame her next sentence. “But there was something you couldn’t cope with.”
“The envy.”
“Pardon?”
“I have no option about being a virgin. But it doesn’t mean I like it.”
Lynn turned her head. Now Kim’s eyes were fixed on the horizon, but at last the Ranger said, “I suppose, for the work you do, you need to keep your mind clear of such distractions. Free your thoughts for higher things and all that.”
Lynn laughed cynically. “When you’re forced to be celibate you don’t think about sex, in the same way that you don’t think about food when you’re starving. There’s probably nothing on earth more depraved than the dreams of a twenty-three-year-old Imprinter, except maybe those of a forty-year-old Imprinter. I could let you know in a few years’ time.” She glanced across again. Kim’s expression was unreadable, beyond a fair degree of confusion and distress. Lynn knew she had gone too far. She rested her forehead on her folded arms. “Now I’ve embarrassed you.”
“No. You...” Kim swallowed the rest of her words.
“Perhaps you should go back to the barrack room,” Lynn suggested softly.
“It’s cold out here.”
“I won’t stay long. But I need a little time alone.”
Without saying anything more, Kim walked across to the top of the ladder. The sound of her footsteps on the rungs faded away.
“Oh, mother of us all, I’ve been stupid. How did I let myself fall for her so hard?” Lynn whispered the words to herself, while the tears began to flow. The moonlight was smeared across the scene before her eyes. “Why didn’t I realize I was playing with fire?”
But perhaps being burned might not be so bad. In the years to come, in the monotony of the temple, she could poke at the heartache, like flexing a pulled muscle to feel the extent of the strain. It hurt but let you know you were still alive. Or had been once. When the exhaustion of an Imprinter’s life had drained her of all feeling, perhaps the pain of remembering Kim might breathe a little life into the memory of her weeks at the fort in the mountains.
*
Two days later, Lynn declared Smith well enough to travel, and messengers were dispatched to Petersmine to summon a carriage.
Chapter Eight—A Buckle out of Place
The town of Petersmine sprawled across the southern foothills of the mountains. Most of the space was given to foundries, blacksmiths, and the homes of workers, each building adorned with small shrines to Peter, the Elder-One who was patron of miners, along with her friend Cedric, the patron of blacksmiths. The heavy industry occupied the center of Petersmine, making the town prosperous but not picturesque. It was therefore, presumably, with aesthetics in mind that the proprietor of the largest inn had dispensed with tradition and situated her establishment at the edge of town. The hostel consisted of a row of loosely connected buildings stretched along the side of the road to Landfall, surrounded on both sides by dusty orchards where sheep grazed between the knurled trunks of apple trees.
Lynn stood at the front of the inn with Smith and Ubbi close by. The day was chill with skies gray and dismal enough to match her mood, and the wind sweeping down from the mountains snatched at her clothes with fingers of ice. Off to one side stood the new consignment of Guards who had arrived from Landfall the day before. Their commanding officer had introduced herself at dinner as Major Rozek and Lynn had taken an instant dislike to the woman, a feeling that she sensed was shared by Kim and Captain LeCoup, who had also been present at the meal.
It had been apparent immediately that Rozek was not a typical Guard officer. She was too sharp and too well informed. She maintained a front of crisply formal politeness, but it only served to emphasize an underlying malevolence. But neither Lynn nor the Rangers were her targets. Smith had recognized Rozek and had seemed displeased, even uneasy. Lynn guessed that Rozek was the protégé of one of Smith’s enemies in the Sisterhood. Someone who had seized on the disaster on the pass and set her pet hound on Smith’s trail. Not that Rozek would harm Smith, but she was a warning that things in Landfall were not going Smith’s way.
Rozek’s troops also appeared handpicked. They had treated the Rangers with more arrogant disdain than usual, and even by the standards of the Guards, their uniforms and horse harnesses were immaculate. They now stood at attention, not moving a muscle, their line as straight as if it had been drawn with a ruler.
Doubtless with the intention of irritating the Guards, the Rangers were making a display of casual high spirits. They flaunted their battle-worn green and gray uniforms in marked contrast to the Guard’s polish and lounged against walls or talked loudly in boisterous groups. It was true that Captain LeCoup was conducting herself with quiet dignity, but she made no attempt to control her troops and seemed to be enjoying the expression of pique on Rozek’s face.
While they waited for the carriage, Lynn scanned the crowd of Rangers, finally spotting Kim right at the back of one group. For a heartbeat, their eyes met. Kim nodded her head in the faintest of bows, held Lynn’s gaze for a second more, and then turned and walked away, rounding the corner of the inn in the direction of the stables. It cut Lynn like a knife to realize the lieutenant would not stay to watch her departure. Without thinking, she took a half step as if to follow, but just as Kim disappeared from sight, Lynn heard the sound of wheels, and the carriage drew up outside the inn. As it came to a stop, Sister Smith began to march forward, but the driver held up a restraining hand and leaped down.
“What’s wrong?” Smith asked.
“It’s not pulling right. I think one of the straps has split, ma’am,” the driver said, slightly distracted.
“So what does that mean?”
“I’ll have to replace the harness. Lucky I’ve got a spare on top.”
“Will it take long?”
“Fifteen minutes, twenty at tops.”
Sister Smith snorted. There was nothing she could do apart from glare at the driver. However, standing and glaring was one of the things Smith did best.
The strain was more than Lynn could bear. She did not want to go, but the delay was only making things worse. Reaching out, she tapped Sister Smith lightly on the arm. “Excuse me, Sister. I’m getting cold out here. I’ll go inside until the carriage is ready.”
“All right, you could read while waiting.”
“Yes, Sister.”
Lynn had no intention of complying with the suggestion. All she wanted was to hide from public view and contend with the pain she was feeling, rather than try to mask it with a show of serenity. But tears could not be allowed, not until she was alone in her bed that night.
A small private parlor lay just inside the main entrance of the inn. Lynn’s hand was reaching for the doorknob when a cold draft rushed past, making her shiver. At the end of the corridor was a second door to the outside that someone must have left unbolted and the wind had snatched open. As Lynn looked at it, another icy gust slammed it shut before pulling it wide again. Her state of tension was such that the loud crash made Lynn flinch, and the thought of sitti
ng for fifteen minutes listening to the repeated bangs set her teeth on edge. In a dozen steps, Lynn had reached the doorway and was searching for its bolt.
Lynn glanced outside. The door gave onto the courtyard behind the inn. Opposite her was the stable block. The bolt was forgotten as Lynn stood and stared at the low wooden building. Kim had headed in its direction. There was no certainty she had gone in, but she might have. A quick check left and right confirmed that no one was in sight. The entertainment value of watching the driver replace the horse harness must have proved too much, even for the inn staff. Lynn leaped down the steps, crossed the muddy cobbles, and slipped in through the stable doors.
Inside the building was very dark and heavy with the smell of hay and horses. Lynn stood for a moment letting her eyes adjust to the gloom, but already she could hear the sounds of someone moving near the back beyond the rows of empty stalls with their half-height walls.
“Kim?” Lynn called out softly.
“What’s up?” The tall Ranger strode into view.
“There’s been a short delay with the carriage and I just wanted to say goodbye.”
“We said goodbye last night after dinner.”
“Yes, but...” Lynn pressed her hand against her forehead.
“But...” Kim prompted.
Lynn’s hand fell. “It’s really struck me that I’ll never see you again.”
“No. I...I know that too. If ever I’m in Landfall, I’ll come to the temple...though of course I won’t be able to talk to you.”
“And I suppose, even with the grace of the Goddess, there’s little chance of me picking your face out of the crowds.” Lynn felt her composure slipping. She walked past Kim and down the row of stalls toward where the saddles and harness hung on the back wall and then turned and faced the Ranger. “Promise you won’t forget me.”
“How could I?”
“I don’t know how I’m going to bear it.” The tears were coming. Lynn tried to fight them back, but the battle was lost before it was started. “I don’t want to go to the temple. I don’t want to be an Imprinter. I don’t want to leave you...” Lynn knew she was whining like a child. Her head fell forward as the first sob shook her.
Kim was by her in an instant, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, stroking her, trying to rally her. “Lynn. Come on, Lynn. I can’t promise it will be fun. We both know it won’t. But you’ll cope. I know you will. And despite all the shit you get from the Sisters, being an Imprinter is the most important thing in the world, and deep down you know that as well as me.” Kim gave a last hug and let her arm drop.
Lynn choked on a stifled sob and managed to get herself back under control, fighting with the muscles in her face. She wiped her eyes and swallowed. “I’d better go back. I’ve made enough of a scene here.”
“That’s all right.” Kim stepped away, leaving the path to the door clear.
Lynn began to take a step forward and then stopped. Suddenly, she knew it was very important to say something, that if she walked out of the stable without letting her heart speak, she would regret her cowardice for the rest of her life. Not that it would do any good. Kim would probably be mortified, but some truths had to be spoken.
“What is it?” Kim must have seen the change of expression on her face.
“I...” Again her voice failed her.
“Lynn?”
Lynn stared at the doors and then said in a rush, “I know it’s stupid, but somehow I’ve let myself develop a really adolescent crush on you. I love you.”
Kim froze and then slowly, very slowly, she raised her hand to Lynn’s chin and turned her face so their eyes met. “Oh, that’s too cruel. Because somehow, I’ve let myself come to feel the same way about you.”
Time stopped. In Lynn’s sight, the stable, the whole world, seemed to fade away, leaving only Kim and her. She would have found it impossible to say who moved first, but without any conscious thought, their arms went around each other, holding each other close. Lynn felt herself clasped tight against the thudding of Kim’s heart, heard the ragged breath whisper between Kim’s lips, smelled the faint, warm scent of sweat and leather on Kim’s skin. She tilted her head back and looked up into the Ranger’s eyes, watching the face get slowly closer until all other senses were blotted out by touch as their lips met in a soft kiss.
Never had anything felt so right as to stand in Kim’s arms. Never had her own arms felt so worthwhile as they did in holding onto Kim. This was why the Goddess made me. This is where I’m supposed to be. The words rose in Lynn’s mind with the force of absolute certainty while their kiss deepened. Lynn felt as if her body was melting into Kim’s, flowing with the force of her desire. Nothing else existed.
Lynn’s eyes were shut, but through the closed lids, she saw the increase in light, even as she recognized the soft scraping sound of the stable door opening. It took a second for her to return to earth, to realize what was happening, where she was, and then she broke from Kim’s grasp, stepping off, ducking and twisting away, and diving into the nearest stall. She ended up sitting on the straw on the ground, her back pressed hard against the wooden slats of the partition and wondering just how deep in trouble she was.
*
Kim’s back had been to the door and the change in light less noticeable, so she required a moment longer to realize that they were no longer alone. Slowly she turned around to see Chip Coppelli standing just inside the entrance to the stable, grinning broadly, and behind her the far less welcome figures of Sister Smith and Major Rozek. These two had expressions of sour disapproval on their faces, but not outrage. In a flash, Kim realized that with dimness obscuring the stable depths, they had seen what she had been doing but had not recognized Lynn. A conjecture immediately confirmed when Chip met her eyes and mimed the word, “Who?”
Kim ignored her friend and looked to the white-robed woman at the door. “Can I help you, ma’am?”
“We are looking for Madam Imprinter. Do you know where she is?”
“She was standing at the front of the inn when I came in here. Is she not still there?” Kim prayed no one would notice that she had not answered the question.
“She’s gone missing. The driver thought the whole harness needed replacing, but when she looked, she found there was just a buckle out of place. So now we’re ready to go, but Madam Imprinter has disappeared.” Smith’s voice snapped with irritation.
“I’ll help you find her.” Kim strode up the stable, anxious to shepherd everyone out. If she could clear the way, maybe Lynn would be able to slip back into the inn unnoticed.
Smith and Rozek were already leaving, but Chip was not so easily out-maneuvered, and Kim knew the expression of amused curiosity on her friend’s face all too well. Of course, Chip would want to know who the other woman was and would recognize that it was something Kim was trying to conceal. Most likely, Chip would assume she had made a conquest of a member of the inn staff and deduce some cause of embarrassment was mixed in. Good-natured teasing was all part of their friendship. Kim set her own face into a hard glare, praying Chip would sense that this was not a time to play games.
But as she reached the door, Chip whispered from the side of her mouth, “Who was it?”
Smith and Rozek were too close to risk even a whispered explanation. Kim fixed on her friend’s face, silently pleading with her to let the matter drop, but the eyes that met hers were dancing with mischief.
Chip raised her voice and said, “Perhaps your...ahem...friend might know where Madam Imprinter is. Is there a reason why you can’t call her out here and ask her?”
Kim hesitated for a moment before replying, “I can guarantee that she has as much idea as I do.”
This time Smith must have heard the equivocation, her ear trained by a lifetime’s experience in prying out the sins of others. Yet still there was no outrage. Smith could not suspect the whole truth, but the hint of a guilty secret was enough. She stepped back into the stable and called out, “Who is it down there? Come out a
nd show yourself.”
Kim’s jaw clenched while her mind raced, but no easy words of evasion came. Why did Smith have to waste her time on what could only seem a trivial matter? Surely she had more urgent concerns? But even from their short acquaintance, Kim knew that the Sister would feel that she was failing in her duty to the Goddess if she did not hunt down and punish every transgression. She would probably even take it as a personal insult that Kim had tried to avoid detection.
Smith called out again, “You. Hiding at the back. Have you seen Madam Imprinter?”
Despairingly, Kim slumped back against the doorframe, shoulders sagging, not bothering to maintain the pointless pretence of innocence. Chip’s expression changed as well. She seemed to realize that she had made a bad mistake, but it was too late to recall the words. The senior Sister was already pacing down the stable.
“Answer me!” Smith shouted in annoyance.
*
In the stall, Lynn looked about desperately, searching for a place to hide, a way of escape. Too late, she thought to try to disguise her voice and shout a reply. Smith would take it as insolence that she had not responded immediately. There was no way to evade discovery—only the choice of waiting to be dragged out or to go and meet her fate.
Smith was only a few steps away, still barking her questions. “When did you last see Madam Imprinter?”
Lynn stood up and stepped out into the passage to meet the Sister’s incredulous eyes with her answer. “The last time I looked in a mirror.”
Chapter Nine—Court-martial
The Petersmine jail was small and squalid but not overcrowded. Kim sat alone in the cell. Two miserable bunks lined either side. Light from the tiny, barred window fell on the stout ironclad door and the square-cut stones of the walls. At a guess, it was midafternoon outside.
The Temple at Landfall Page 9
