by Clara Wake
“I guess so, you?” He asks her, his voice cracking slightly. He’s exhausted, but he remains awake and alert for her. Although he becomes suspicious as she doesn’t answer, and she continues to stare at him, her face is red. She’s been crying.
“What’s wrong?” He asks her, and his words are saturated in apprehension. He’s almost completely awake now, his face full of concern.
Seeing that sweet face drown in concern for her has her sobbing and crying immediately. She can’t speak as the tears and sobs trap her words to the tip of her tongue; her heart sinks to her stomach.
She wants to bury herself into his chest and lose herself to his breathing and his scent. Lightly tugging at his shirt, she holds him tightly, wishing she could stay there forever, and never stop hearing his heartbeat…
“I’m pregnant.”
Silence engulfs the room, leaving only their heartbeats and breaths to fill the air.
Dread and horror trace their features. The future is so unclear now – even more so than before. They’re uncertain on how much longer they’ll be together. How long they’ll be safe.
“I’ll do anything to make sure you’re safe,” Nickolai softly and gently tells her, and he means every word.
His chin rests on top of her head, while she still curls up against him.
Her hands tremble, as she curls her fingers around his shirt and nuzzles his chest taking every inch of him in. She’s too scared to leave, and he knows this all too well because he’s just as afraid.
He can feel his chest aching, the thought of losing her becoming quite a close reality, and his heart begins to sink lower and deeper into the depths of his stomach.
She always surprises Nickolai; how comforting, caring, and generous she is towards him. It is almost impossible to imagine someone being so devoted.
She even held him close while he sat there saturated in someone else’s blood. After he’d admitted to murdering someone, trembling in remorse and shock. Yet, she was there to keep him grounded, she was there for him when he expected her to run, and never return.
He was petrified of losing her, just like he was to lose Jake.
The only two human beings to care for him for so long. Unconditionally, they loved everything about him. Things he never saw in himself, they see all the qualities that made him beautiful and unique.
After so long, he’s suffered from mental abuse, believing that no one will ever love him. That everything about him is wrong and disgusting. From his long elven ears to his beautiful vibrant heterochromia eyes. He grew and learned to hate everything about himself.
No one said otherwise. Everyone treated him with disrespect and brutally brainwashed him to believe and think in such a way, from the young age of six. He was led to believe he was worthless, pathetic, ugly, and unwanted. All qualities that no one would ever want or need.
He’s swimming in disbelief. He can’t believe it’s happening and he doesn’t want to think about it. The reality of it all, taking its toll. He can’t stop the questions that hammer, scream, and drill through his mind.
What is going to happen to her?
It is the question of the hour, running through both minds. Resolving it is out of the question, but it never stops Nickolai from trying his hardest to come up with a way to keep her from being forced to leave and going who knew where.
Words are unspoken and unheard. They just held each other tightly, while their minds drown them in sorrow and fear, taking in every second they have together.
CHAPTER 14
Skye’s never been so broken; she doesn’t want to go back, but here she is. Taking long, heavy steps and pulling herself back into her room as the sun peaks over the mountains. A new day and she is wide awake and riddled with fear.
Frightened to have her Mother take her away from Nickolai. Scared of the unknown, where she’ll go.
She can feel her heart jumping up her throat, and her hands tremble violently. Her hands are soon grabbing Nickolai’s shirt; she holds it close to her face.
Waiting for the dreadful moment.
“Skye?” The Mother enters and draws out a long breath before she closes the door behind her and takes a seat on the end of her bed.
“You still have a few days, maybe a week or two before you’re set to leave to The Promise Land,” She tells her with a very sincere and kind tone, unusual and very different.
Jerking her eyebrows up in surprise, Skye’s bright green eyes slowly draw to narrow on The Mother. “R-really?” She manages to let out, her eyes are red from the night of tears but her tone evident that she’s shrieking with shock and happiness.
“Yes, now get up and get some breakfast; you’re eating for two.”
The sharp sounds of the arrow penetrating the target dummy is all Nickolai focuses on. His mind is melding and concentrating on his task at hand. Steering it away from the struggles he’s facing with Skye.
The perfect distraction as he aims and shoots his bow and lands every shot precisely. Being outdoors is always a comfort to him. The fresh air, the sway of the trees with the soft wind blowing and rustling through his hair.
He can take a breath, and collect his thoughts much better where he stands, before the training dummies with his bow in hand.
Wearing his usual, dark red hoodie, while the others wore jackets and scarves and hoodies, Nickolai doesn’t feel the cold, even as snowflakes glitter down from the clouds.
It’s a very slow and quiet day. Free day, as they call it. To do as you please, and most just sleep all day or play on the computers and consoles. Staying indoors, reading, or watching movies. No one else is game enough to be outside in this cold, blistering weather.
It isn’t as bad as everyone claims it to be, at least to Nickolai. It is just a small shower of snow and light wind. That’s it.
He enjoys the quiet outside, by himself at the training dummies at the back – Next to The Governor's tower.
collecting his arrows from the targets. He pulls them out one by one as he hears a piercing scream from The Governor's tower. His ears flick, and he looks up and pins his eyes on the warm light on the top floor. The Governor’s room.
The screams soon radiate through the quad, and he’s standing there in confusion – hearing the tone, anger, and rage trembling with each yell.
Taking a quick glimpse around, he’s completely alone and the Guards in the towers on the gate are huddled in their small unit.
Quickly, he places his arrows into his side quiver, and straps his bow to his back, tightening the strap to his chest. He moves slowly and carefully over closer to the tower; he moves to the back and climbs the closest tree – he is like a monkey when it comes to trees sometimes. Agile and swift and very careful. He finds himself perched up and looking through the windows of the warm glow. Witnessing the scene unfold.
The screams are constant; she’s thrashing around, arms flailing and yelling with madness. Wailing and screaming at everyone. “Don’t say my name!” She finally barks at one of the guards, who stares at her blankly.
“I-I didn’t… I didn’t say your name, ma’am,” he stammers, feeling the fear carve through his chest, as his eyes narrow the vein popping from her throat and forehead. The red surfacing, he’s never seen her so angry, so paranoid.
“Stop!!” She carries on, demanding they do as she said. However, everyone who stands around her looks baffled and confused. They have no idea what she is speaking about or what name she is referring to.
“Just Stop! Don’t speak my name!” She continues, her voice heightened, and she’s soon launching herself at the guard she questioned, her hands curling and cupping the back of his head, and chin. With a swift twist, she turns his head and cracks his neck.
Watching him drop with a loud thud, she begins to pant and pin her eyes to draw over every guard that wishes to challenge her.
It’s not long before she’s throwing everything and anything in her blurred sight, as fury unleashes, and she attempts to aim everything she gets her
hands on at the guards.
“Don’t you ever say my name!” She growls furiously. She’s soon spinning around and grasping her ears, pinning her eyes shut. “Stop!” She repeats, as her hands tremble in her fit of madness before two gentle and caring hands overlap hers and enter her line of sight. One of the nurses has stepped in.
She looks familiar to Nickolai; she was one of the kind nurses he met after his first Test in the Infirmary.
“It’s all right, Governor. No one is saying your name,” she delicately tells her, with a stern tone. Insisting that she isn’t hearing anyone say her name. It is all in her head.
“S-Stop…” she blubbers, whining as she lowers herself slowly with the Nurse still holding her ground.
“It’s okay, remember they all deserved it,” she carefully tells her, before ushering everyone else to leave with a nod and head tilt towards the door.
The other guards leave, and one stays back to heave and pull the lifeless body from the floor and out of The Governor’s room and sight.
“One hundred and fifty-nine,” the nurse tells her in an almost joyful tone. Her eyes narrow on The Governor’s.
“They deserved it, and look what you’ve made?” She starts again, her tone lower and softer than before. On her knees, she sits before The Governor, pulling her from her maddened state.
“You took care of them, so you could be free to make your dreams a reality,” she continues, and watches as The Governor’s shoulders finally fall, deep and heavy breaths are finally spreading from The Governor’s lips. Eyes closing and letting her words calm and soothe her. She is right.
“You created this world, a world to better these children – prepare them for the world. You saved them all from the ugly truth,” she carries on, and she believes in every word that traces her lips.
“You saved them, and now they’re yours,” she adds on and watches her closely.
The Governor is finally sluggishly lowering herself, and the red is dissolving from her face and neck. Her hands unclench from the white-knuckled fists, and she’s watching the nurse ever so closely, desperate for her to pull her back to reality.
“They will never say my name again,” The Governor finally speaks, and it’s laced in pure rage. Bearing her teeth, she growls.
“They can’t. You made sure of that,” the nurse replies quickly, seeing the anger glisten in her eyes as she stares so vacuously at her.
The Governor is still shaking with anger, she can still hear the whispers and taunts of her name surrounding her, and she can’t stand it. Shaking her head, she pulls herself away from the nurse and smacks her palms together, trying to itch the anger beneath her skin.
“I’m here for you as I was then. You are doing your best, and everything you’ve done is what everyone needs,” the nurse continues to soothe and convince The Governor that her ways are what’s best for everyone, including herself.
“They don’t deserve any better, this is what they need. This is the best for everyone. I risked everything to build this, and no one is taking that away from me.” The Governor hisses before she finally pulls herself up from the floor. Gathering herself, she straightens her jacket and fixes her chaotic hair.
“Go and get me my star,” she orders the nurse, who inhales deeply before gathering herself and picking herself up from the floor. She stands there for a moment, watching The Governor intensely.
“Didn't you hear me? I said get My Star – Earth Five.” She slowly looks to the nurse, her tone deep and hollow as she repeats herself.
“Of course,” she nods at her, before leaving her. She doesn’t question it; she does exactly what she’s told.
Nickolai witnesses the entire ordeal.
Right before him and the second she demands he be present, he jumps down from the tree as carefully as he can in his haste and rushes off to his Squad.
His mind is overloading, trying to piece together what he’d just seen, and why he is needed.
None of what The Governor spoke of makes sense, but he feels as if he is onto something. What he’s just seen and heard is something pushing him in the right direction to answers.
Making it back to his Squad, entering his room, he closes the door and pulls his bow off and places it above his bed before rustling his hair of all the snowflakes that decorated his red mane. He removes as many as he can, running his hands through his hair before taking his quiver off and placing it down, beside his bed. He finally takes a seat, burying his face in his warm hands. He can’t gather a single thought, his train of thoughts scattering in so many directions. He can’t begin to piece everything together, and in no time to himself, a knock is heard, and the nurse enters.
His ears bounce upwards in surprise as she enters. Confusion traces his face as he watches her – but he knows all too well why she is there.
“The Governor wants to see you,” she tells him, before turning away and leaving immediately, as if she’s never met him before, never cared.
She doesn’t even stay for a reply, she turns and leaves. Leaving Nickolai there to track his thoughts racing through his mind. He can feel his throat becoming tighter and thick. He doesn’t know what she wants, but by the state she was previously in, he doesn’t like it at all. It feels like a bad omen, or something sinister is lingering around the corner, waiting to attack.
Well, he’d rather it be him than anyone else.
It’s no shock that the room, is still trashed. Ornaments, papers, and accessories scatter across the floor, furniture tipped over and misplaced. Several lamps scattered and shattered, broken on the floor. It’s the first time it’s seen so messy and piled in destruction. Usually, it’s neat and tidy.
His eyes wander around the room, questioning the mess with his eyes and he draws them up to meet her gaze. His eyebrows furrow, as he watches her. Still uncertain on what she wants from him, right now after such an outburst.
“What am I doing here?” Nickolai is quick to ask, as impatient as he is. He needs answers, more than just one.
“Tell me.” she slowly starts her tone twitching and switching into something sultrier as she moves closer towards him.
Nickolai immediately bounces back, as she moves in closer towards him – keeps as much distance as he possibly can. What is her problem?
Her eyes fill with a look he’s seen once before, and it sends shivers down his spine and goosebumps to trace his arms.
“Why did you throw that girl away?” She asks, as she leans in and blocks him, pinning him against the wall.
He doesn’t reply, he keeps quiet. Lips sealed. His jaw clenched, as he stares at her with a deep glare. What the hell is she going on about?
“You know, I’m glad you did throw her out,” she starts, with a slight hum in her tone, leaning in further only to receive a swift push from his palms, as he throws his arms up and smack his palms against her chest forcing her away. She’s shattering his barrier…
Standing several feet apart. The Governor stands there, staring at Nickolai intensely. Anger colliding with her inner desires.
Without a single blink, she whips out a pistol from her back – hidden beneath her jacket and pulls the trigger before he can even respond with a gasp.
Bang!
The bullet rips and tears its way through Nickolai’s right clavicle and fortunately for her, does not create an exit wound.
The pain pulses and radiates from his shoulder, shooting down his arm immediately.
His back smacks against the wall behind him with a heavy bump, from the sheer force of the bullet hitting his shoulder. A cry leaves his lips as his knees buckle beneath him, and he drops to the ground. Knees bent, he clenches firmly to the new fresh, warm, and salivating wound.
Gritting his teeth, he hissed loudly and winced. “Fuck you!” He growls, attempting to trap the cries of agony, holding, and biting back.
“Now, I can have my own half-elven child.”
CHAPTER 15
She’s advancing far too close and fast and he’s bo
iling with pure rage with gritted teeth; the fact that she thinks she can do whatever she wished with him, as if she owns him, claimed him. Free to do as she pleases.
He gathers every bit of strength, as he bites down on his tongue and forces his left leg upwards and strikes The Governor in the chest, with a hard kick. It forces her back with a pained and dissatisfied grumble, igniting the very same rage that unleashed earlier.
Before Nickolai can let a strained huff leave his lips, his breath rises to a heavy pant.
The Governor lunged forwards and grasps his head, turning it to the right; she claws at his hair and face before she pushes and forces his head forwards, then smacks the side of his face into the wall.
Flashes of red and white strike his eyes, as the pain splits from the gash on the bridge of his temple. splitting over the top of what’s left of his right eyebrow.
A hiss rolls from his lips, as he grits his teeth. A growl follows, as he whines. Trying to fight the sudden and swift weakness that spread across his head and travelled down his neck.
The Governor takes a moment before she leans in once again, her hand now moving and tracing up his inner thigh. Her fingertips linger and begin to unbuckle his first belt, while a sly grin curved her lips.
“Tell me, Nick,” she starts, her tone lowered and hinted an oppressive tone that makes him quiver from the mere sound of it.
“Why do you have two belts on?” She questions him, jerking an eyebrow slightly before she unbuckles the belt and releases it. Her dark, soulless eyes dancing around his midsection before bouncing to meet his pained and sore gaze.
She should have known that he wasn’t going to reply, so she immediately takes her eyes from those enchanting eyes of his and runs her hands over his inner thighs once more.
Quickly followed by squeezing and pulling at his other belt, she takes notice of the sheath to the side, where his combat knife is hidden and secured.
