The Very Thought of You

by Angela Weaver

  Later on that night, after picking Kelly up from her aunt’s and returning to the hotel suite, Miranda tucked the child into bed and kissed her on the forehead. As she stared down into her face, a measure of peace returned to her heart. Straightening up, she not only felt a dull pain in her back but also became more aware of her restless state. Turning around, she walked into the hotel bathroom, closed the door and turned on the water for the bath. Within the few minutes it took to fill the bathtub, she removed her wrinkled clothes and finished her nightly ablution.

  Miranda finally climbed into the tub, immersing her body in the hot water. For a moment she stared straight ahead at the steam rising from the water. She closed her eyes and even as her muscles began to relax, her mind continued to hum with the day’s events.

  Why couldn’t he have moved to another state? Why did he have to work in this hospital? Why did he have to be her brother’s attending physician?

  She blew out an impatient breath. Was this a case of karma, or was it just unfinished business? Whatever the case, she’d recognized the look of determination in Caleb’s eyes. Regardless of her wishes, he wasn’t going away. Memories of old times drowned out reality. Time spent talking on the phone to the wee hours of the morning, meeting for a quick lunch at their favorite café. She remembered the sight of his smiling face outside her door. She also remembered walks through Piedmont Park holding his hand and acting like kids, spending all day at the amusement park. She caught mental images of being wrapped in Caleb’s arms as they had watched old movies and ate popcorn on the couch.

  Truthfully, Miranda didn’t want him to leave her alone.

  She sank even lower into the tub so that her chin almost touched the water. Crossing her arms, she held still, feeling the small ripples. Earlier when she’d told Caleb that she’d believed him years ago when he’d admitted to not sleeping with her worst enemy, she hadn’t lied. If someone had ever asked her who she trusted with her life, Caleb would still be on the list.

  But no matter how much she’d loved and trusted him then, nothing could change the fact that they were destined to live separate lives. His acceptance to Stanford Medical School and her job offer in Washington, D.C., had forced her to make one of the most difficult and selfish decisions of her life. Even before the night she’d walked in on Caleb and Jessica, she’d had her doubts about their relationship.

  Darren’s intense dislike of Caleb and her parents’ misgivings about the relationship had only increased her doubts. In the end, she’d used Caleb’s supposed infidelity as an excuse to push him away.

  Miranda sighed and sat up in the bathtub. For a second she heard the heavy footsteps of someone walking down the hotel corridor. Tomorrow, she and Kelly would move into her childhood home. Hopefully within the next two weeks, Kelly would enroll in the local school and Miranda’s brother would be home from the hospital. For the next few months, she wouldn’t have to wake up at 5:00 a.m. and take the metro into work, sit in her office working on the computer, attend meetings, or interview. As wonderful as it sounded, she couldn’t help but feel a little lost.

  Even with everything she faced, she felt good about being back home in a place that filled her with wonderful memories. And there were so many things that hadn’t changed. Caleb was just as devastatingly handsome, her brother was still pigheaded and overprotective, and the entire town shut down at ten o’ clock. And both she and Caleb were very single, responsible adults.

  Correction, she added mentally. According to her altered records, she had an ex-husband and an adopted child. Miranda lifted her hand and stared at the wrinkles in her fingertips. It was way past time for her to get out of the bathtub. After opening the drain, she climbed out of the large tub and wrapped a bath towel around her body. Her muscles had relaxed to the point that she felt like a limp dishrag. Drawing on the last of her energy reserves, she finished drying off and opened her personal cocoa-scented lotion. Mechanically, she smoothed the lotion over her skin. The past is the past, she thought to herself firmly.

  You, Miranda Tyler, are a grown, independent and confident woman. She repeated that statement over and over as she dressed for bed. By the time she reopened the bathroom door and entered the bedroom, she had regained a measure of her former peace. She slid into the bed and curled her arms around the pillow. As sleep came gently she prayed for the strength and fortitude to deal with Caleb Blackfox in the days to come.

  Chapter 4

  “I don’t want you as my doctor, Blackfox.”

  Caleb looked up from the chart in his hand at the man sitting up in the hospital bed. Ignoring the statement, Caleb slid the hospital door closed.

  “You don’t have a choice this time, Darren,” he replied as if he were announcing the weather. Caleb walked over to the side of the bed and filed back the patient file. Very calmly he reached over and touched Darren’s bruised rib.

  Completely thrown off by the action, Darren jumped sideways. “Ouch! What the hell are you doing?”

  “Checking to see how your ribs are doing. Still cracked I see. Should I check on your arm and leg?”

  “Hell, no!”

  “My guess is that they are still broken and you need a doctor.”

  “Yes, I need a doctor. I just don’t want you to be that doctor, Blackfox.”

  Caleb’s eyes narrowed and he pulled a pen out of his pocket. His fingers tightened over the metal. “I didn’t want Miranda to break up with me and never speak to me again.”

  “That has nothing to do with me. If my sister wised up and saw you for the playboy you were then that’s all your fault.”

  Caleb looked at the EKG machine and was internally delighted to see Darren’s elevated heart rate. In a minute, he expected it to rise even further with his next statement.

  “But you see, it isn’t my fault because she only saw what you wanted her to see.”

  “I wasn’t involved in your mess, Blackfox.”

  Anger that he hadn’t felt in years rushed from his gut and almost a decade of waiting. “Wrong. You pulled the strings and unless you bury the past here and now I will tell Miranda everything that happened that night and it will bury you.”

  “You don’t know anything. And even if you did—if you told my sister—she didn’t believe you ten years ago, what makes you think that she’s going to believe you now?”

  “Ten years. That’s what makes me believe. We were young, stubborn, and both of us wore our hearts on our sleeves then. Now we’re older and she will look past the emotions to the facts, Darren.”

  “Fine, Blackfox, you can be my doctor. But why?”

  “Call me Caleb. The Blackfox thing is old, Darren, and I would rather we at least appear on friendly terms. Why am I here? I don’t care too much about you and we both know that. I can admire a man who takes care of his own, but you crossed the line. I want to be your doctor because Miranda and I have unfinished business.”

  “You’re going to use my recovery to move back in on my sister? That’s low.”

  Caleb flipped the chart closed after making a few notes. If Darren’s recovery progressed as scheduled he would be able to leave the hospital in three days. “No. It’s smart. And this conversation is going to guarantee that you don’t interfere this time around. If I even catch a hint that you’ve been whispering in her ear, I will respond swiftly and it won’t be nice.”

  “If you hurt her—” Darren began.

  “You’re not in a position to make threats,” Caleb cut him off. “And now that we’ve established our new rules, I can get back to being your doctor.”

  A part of him wanted to ask about the girl, the faceless child that had been in his dreams for the past two days. He wanted to grab Darren by the hospital gown and demand to know if that was his daughter, but he didn’t. This was something that he would find out from Miranda and only Miranda. It would hurt him if the child was someone else’s, but it would tear him and his family apart if the child were his. The only thing he’d learned as a doctor was to be patient.
Now all he had to do was wait for the right time.

  “Is everything all right in here?”

  Caleb looked up and his eyes met Miranda’s. He could tell from the shadows under her eyes that she hadn’t slept any better than he had. The sight should have made him feel better, but it didn’t. He wondered if it was guilt keeping her up at night.

  “Good morning, little sis. Pretty early for you to be visiting, isn’t it?”

  “Kelly’s downstairs getting her physical and didn’t need her Mommy hanging around. I thought I’d come up for a second to check up on you.”

  “Good morning, Miranda.”

  Her expression cooled slightly when her attention shifted to Caleb. “Hello, Caleb. Is my brother giving you any grief?”

  “He’s just fine. As a matter of fact, he’s on-track for release in a few days.”

  “Wonderful.” She walked over to her brother’s bedside and then looked from Darren to Caleb.

  Damn, those beautiful eyes of hers could see right through him. Once upon a time it went both ways, but now he couldn’t tell what she had going on in that pretty head of hers.

  “You must know that we are both grateful for your help.”

  “Well, the work just started and I’ve been telling your brother that he’s not only going to need someone at home to help take care of him. He’ll also need to be under a doctor’s supervision. I’ve volunteered to serve in that capacity.”

  Miranda’s eyes flew to her brother. “And you better have accepted, big brother.”

  “Hell, I’ve broken bones, not my head. Yes, I accepted Caleb’s offer.”

  Caleb met Darren’s baleful stare. The man continued. “I’d be a fool to turn it down.”

  “Miracles are happening every day, it seems. Anyway, I’m going back downstairs. I’ll be back in about thirty minutes. You want anything, bro?”

  “Three chocolate chip cookies, some salted peanuts, a hamburger and a large soda.”

  “You can have everything but the hamburger and the peanuts. The cafeteria is still serving breakfast,” Caleb commented.

  “I’ll see what I can do.” Miranda smiled, turned around and left the room.

  Caleb’s eyes tracked her through the window, enjoying the nice view of her perfectly endowed backside.

  “Man, I can’t wait to get out of here,” Darren grumbled.

  Caleb grinned at the prospect of spending time with Miranda outside of the hospital. “Me, too,” he whispered. After making notes on Darren’s chart, he left the room and headed for his office. He hadn’t forgotten Miranda’s primary purpose for being in the hospital. His mind raced with the information.

  Trust, but validate.

  It was time Caleb found out if he was a father.

  Chapter 5

  Having spent most of the day moving from the hotel into her parents’ house, getting Kelly enrolled in the local junior high school, checking on her brother and settling into the house, Miranda was exhausted.

  There were so many memories in the house—all good times she’d savor forever and all of the bad times she couldn’t make herself forget. In a way, the bad memories were just as important as the good. Miranda walked down the hallway, her eyes darting over the family photos and bronzed trophies both she and Darren had received in high school. It was amazing that after almost two decades, her mother’s favorite crystal vases still shone beautifully underneath the recessed lights.

  After turning off all the lights downstairs, she paused in the entry foyer and stared at the fresh orchids in the vase. They had been delivered right after they’d returned from the hospital. The note written in Caleb’s almost illegible sprawl was stamped in her mind.

  Welcome Home.

  It was amazing how two simple words could wreck her concentration. She was here to take care of her brother and hide Kelly, that was it. She didn’t come home to renew a failed romance or obsess about what could have been. Shaking her head, Miranda checked the locks, activated the alarm and went upstairs. The sooner she showered, the sooner her head hit the pillow.

  She stood on the beach in her dream, dressed in the sheerest cotton. The wind tossed her hair, running through it like a child’s fingers. Miranda looked out at the sun as it began its gradual descent, casting a spell over the water. The deep blue glittered like gold. She felt the warmth of his arm around her shoulders.

  As they walked along the shore, palm trees swaying with the night breeze seemed to urge them forward along the path. The sand had begun to shimmer and the gentle waves tickled her feet as the foam ran over their toes. Sounds of the surf mixing with the cooing of birds formed a beautiful lullaby. And she was with him. Could anything be better than this? Miranda rested her cheek on his chest and was wrapped in his arms.

  His scent seemed to encircle her. His essence lay over her skin like a fine mist. As they stood together, past and future seemed to be laid out before them in brilliant colors of happiness and peace. Life without his smile seemed empty and shallow.

  When he spoke, she smiled. His voice, so deep and gentle, was filled with affection.

  “Miranda, you are more beautiful than all women and more precious than any rose. I wake in the morning with thoughts of you on my mind. ‘What can I do to make her smile? What words may I say to make her stay with me? How can I heal her hurts? Gain her trust?’ I want to protect you, love you. For you I would give everything I possess, for your love would make me the happiest man in the entire world. I beg of you, dear sweet Miranda, will you…”

  She stood watching as he began to bend down on one knee.

  “Yes?”

  “Miranda, would you…”

  “Miranda!”

  “Yes,” she muttered before opening her eyes. Kelly stood next to the bed. She cradled a notebook in her hands and looked over at Miranda like she was a lunatic.

  “Sorry.”

  “No, it’s okay.” She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes before looking at the alarm clock—5:45 a.m. “Kelly, why are you up and dressed so early?”

  “I don’t want to be late to my first day of school.”

  “You have to be there by eight-fifteen.”

  “I know, but the bus will be here at seven fifty-five and you said yesterday that you wanted to make breakfast. If we start now, you can shower, make breakfast, we can do the dishes and have time left over to watch the news.”

  Miranda blinked as her mind struggled to get into gear. And when she finished processing all the information, her amazement grew a hundredfold. The power of genetics stared at her from Kelly’s light brown eyes. The child was her father’s clone. She couldn’t imagine a more organized, systematic, careful and efficient Federal Marshal than Ryan.

  “I should have known you were a morning person,” Miranda said shaking her head. She was doomed to spend her life surrounded by them.

  “Come on,” Kelly took her hand. “It won’t be that bad. You don’t even have to make me waffles. I’m more of a pancakes kind of girl anyway. I can show you how my mom used to make smiley faces with blueberries,” she cajoled.

  Miranda couldn’t help but giggle at the bright smile on Kelly’s face. “You were lucky. My mom’s the worst cook. I remember when she burnt the toast and started a grease fire one Sunday when frying bacon.”

  “Daddy tried to cook an egg in the microwave and it exploded,” Kelly chimed in as they walked to the hallway.

  “Darren killed the coffeepot.”

  They looked at each other and burst out laughing. Miranda laughed so hard tears spurted from her eyes and her side hurt.

  “See. I knew I could do it,” Kelly bragged.

  “Do what?”

  “Get you out of the bed.”

  Miranda snorted. “Good job. Your father would be proud.”

  “Yeah, I can’t wait to tell him.”

  Reaching over to tweak one of Kelly’s two braids, she smiled. “He’ll call tonight. Now let me get ready. I don’t want Ryan’s little marshal late for her first day of school.
”

  “She’s fine, Ryan. Kelly is a resilient little girl. She worries about you, but other than that I think she’s going to be fine in school,” she reassured the Federal Marshal on the phone.

  Thankful for the Bluetooth wireless headset that allowed her free use of her arms, Miranda continued wiping off the kitchen countertops. Although she’d hired a maid service to spruce up the house, she still felt the need to do her own bit of cleaning.

  “I hope to God this trial ends soon.”

  Miranda had known Ryan for over four years, and in that time together she had never seen the agent without a can-do attitude and an impenetrable veneer of confidence. Ryan Walker always got his man or woman. And now he was a client of the very system of which he was a member. Two months ago, his entire life was once again turned upside down as the Russian Mafia somehow discovered the location of a safe house where Ryan was hiding an informant. With his principal gunned down execution-style, Ryan was the only living witness to the murder. His testimony alone would ensure the conviction of Sergey Milonik, the head of Russian-American mafia’s largest crime syndicate.

  Inwardly, Miranda sighed. It didn’t seem fair that at the point where Ryan and Kelly had just seemed to be completely healed from his wife’s death from leukemia, he would have to go into witness protection and be separated from his daughter.

  “Have you given any more thought as to where you’re going to relocate once Milonik is in prison?” she asked.

  “That’s all I’ve thought about since this mess started. It’s been an eye-opening experience being on the other side of the table, Miranda. My life will never be the same.”

  “It can be a good thing, Ryan. You’ve been mentioning lately that you want to spend more time with Kelly.”

  “Sounds like that old adage—Be careful what you wish for…”

  “You might just get it,” she finished.

  Ryan’s laughter traveled well over the phone line and Miranda smiled at the thought that she’d been able to provide some glimmer of humor for her friend.