Eveleen had been concerned only about the people at work: Mr Carpenter, who had been so kind to her and Helen, who was fast becoming a firm friend. And then, of course, there was Luke Manning. He was her greatest fear. Even Bob Porter was another threat, but the man she really had to convince was Jimmy’s teacher at the lace machine.
Now she stared at her mother in horror. She had completely forgotten about Win and her husband.
She thought quickly. ‘We could say that I’ve had to go back to Uncle Harry’s to look after Gran. That she’s not well.’
‘Wouldn’t it be me who would go back?’ Rebecca asked in a small voice. ‘I would want to if it was true.’
Eveleen bit her lip. She did not know how to answer the girl without sounding heartless. Rebecca saved her the need for she answered her own question sorrowfully. ‘But they wouldn’t want me there, would they? You’re right, Eveleen. If anyone had to go back, it would be you.’
The following morning, Eveleen dressed in clothes that, fortunately for her, Jimmy had left behind. Striped shirt, braces and trousers and a black waistcoat and jacket. She stood looking at herself in the mirror. She did indeed look just like her brother except that her features were softer and there was no downy growth on her chin. She frowned at her reflection. She hadn’t stopped to think about that. But then, Jimmy hadn’t started shaving yet, so perhaps no one would notice. At least her hair, cut short now, curled just as Jimmy’s had done, and beneath the shapeless man’s clothing all sign of her womanly shape was well hidden.
She slipped out of the house into the darkness of early morning to arrive at the factory for Jimmy’s early-morning shift. Four o’clock in the morning until nine and then again from one o’clock until six in the evening, with another worker taking the hours in between and afterwards until midnight. At least, she thought, I can get some work done at home between nine and one.
As Eveleen walked up to the gate, her heart was pounding and her mouth was dry with nervousness. Any moment she expected a raucous voice to shout, ‘Hello, Eveleen. What are you doing dressed up in your brother’s clothes?’
But as they all hurried, hunched with the cold, into their work, the other men did not even glance at her.
Feeling as if her heart was rising into her mouth, Eveleen took a deep breath and walked in through the factory gates.
Thirty-Seven
‘Again? You’re asking me to show you again?’
Eveleen nodded. ‘Just once more, Mr Manning. I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it soon.’ She tried the sort of joke she was sure Jimmy would have used. The sort of quip he always made to get himself out of trouble. ‘It’s a lot different to milking cows.’
‘Well, we’ll try for a bit longer but you know, it doesn’t rest with me. And Bob Porter’s got his eye on you. If you don’t buck your ideas up, lad, you’re going to be out on your ear. And where were you yesterday? Bob doesn’t like anyone taking the odd day off here and there.’
Eveleen had her answer ready. It would make her sound more laddish. She hung her head as if in shame. ‘I had a drop too much to drink the night before.’ It had been a Sunday night, so she added, ‘One of the lads had a party at his house. It won’t happen again, though, I promise.’
Luke pulled a wry face. ‘It had better not. I’ll say no more this time, but watch it. And don’t you ever turn up the worse for wear after a night out, lad, else you’ll be sacked on the spot. That’s one thing Porter’s a stickler on. And rightly so.’ Luke nodded. ‘Oh yes, rightly so. You’ve got to have your wits about you operating these machines.’
Now Eveleen could answer him far more truthfully than ever her brother would have been able to do. ‘I won’t, Mr Manning.’
‘Right then, lad. Let’s show you all this once more.’
As she watched Luke, Eveleen felt a growing excitement. She could do this. She knew she could. Until this moment, she had worried that she might not be able to carry out all the tasks of an apprentice twisthand. The machines were heavy to operate. But Eveleen was strong and now she knew she could do it.
Luke stood back. ‘Now then, let’s see you have a go.’
As she stepped forward and laid her hands on the levers, Eveleen felt a thrill run through her such as she had never felt in her life before. At her fingertips she had a new skill, a skill that could earn her good money.
A few minutes later, Luke said, ‘Well, you’re shaping up better this morning. Mind you keep it up.’
Eveleen did not turn round, did not even answer him. Her whole concentration was on this wonderful machine; she was fascinated to see how the threads twisted into a pattern as delicate as a spider’s web.
As she walked out of the factory gates again that night, Eveleen wanted to skip with joy. She had loved every minute of the day and the final cherry on the cake had come only a few moments ago when Luke had said, ‘You’ve done much better today. Why you couldn’t work like that before beats me.’ And he had gone away shaking his head at the callowness of youth.
Eveleen had hidden her smile. The following morning and every morning after that, she knew she would not need to ask for his help any more. Already she knew exactly what was expected of her. Except perhaps when new work was given to them, but then he would expect Jimmy to have asked to be shown how to do it too.
As she walked along, she pushed her hands into the pockets of the trousers that had once been Jimmy’s and tried to adopt his swaggering walk. She even tried to whistle, but that was going to need more practice.
‘Jimmy!’ She heard the familiar voice calling behind her and stopped. It had been bound to happen. There she was, she thought, congratulating herself that she’d pulled it off. She had been jubilant, but her celebrations had been premature. Now she was going to be found out. This was one of the people she had most feared meeting.
With a sigh of resignation she turned to see Josh Carpenter hurrying towards her as fast as he was able. His size made him walk with a rolling gait like a sailor on board a ship. Wheezing with the effort, he reached her and panted, ‘Jimmy. Glad I’ve caught you. Where’s your sister today? Not ill, is she?’
Eveleen felt a stab of guilt for her deceit when she saw the genuine concern in the man’s eyes. Just in time she remembered not to lick her dry lips. It was not a habit of Jimmy’s. She dropped her voice a tone lower and tried to speak in the offhand way that he would have done.
‘Aw sorry, I was supposed to come and tell you. I forgot.’ It was so alien to her nature to act as if she were unfeeling but it was the way Jimmy would have behaved. ‘She’s had to go back to Flawford. The old woman’s ill.’
Josh’s face fell. ‘I’m sorry to hear that. But she will be coming back? I’ll keep her job open for her. Tell her that. Tell her I’ll keep her job open for her.’
A lump rose in Eveleen’s throat at the man’s kindness. But his eagerness was pathetic and she knew that Jimmy would have sneered at Josh Carpenter at this moment. Eveleen could not bring herself to do that. The new Jimmy would have to retain some of the real Jimmy’s character traits, but by degrees Eveleen would act more like herself. Now, she said, ‘I’ll tell her, Mr Carpenter. But I think it might be a while before she’s back.’
The way was cleared now for whatever might happen. If Jimmy stayed away, their grandmother could remain in her make-believe sickbed. If he came back, then Eveleen too could be said to have returned home.
As Mr Carpenter looked even more dejected, Eveleen turned away, unable to bear the look on the big, kind man’s face.
‘I really liked your sister,’ she heard him murmur as she moved away. Eveleen swallowed. Jimmy would have laughed out loud, jeered at the man, even if it had jeopardized his job.
That was one thing that Eveleen would never do. As she walked out of the gates and turned for home, she smiled to herself. They say leopards never change their spots, she thought. Well, Jimmy Hardcastle, you certainly are doing now.
When she arrived home it was to find Fred Martin standing p
roudly in front of the Griswold stocking-machine sitting on the table. The once rusty piece of machinery now positively gleamed.
Eveleen opened her mouth and began to say, ‘Oh Fred,’ in the tone of voice that the delighted Eveleen would have used. Just in time she caught herself.
‘You’ve made a good job of that, Fred.’ Jimmy was cheeky enough to have dispensed with the polite ‘Mr Martin’ by now.
‘Rebecca’s just been telling me that your sister has had to return to Flawford. I’m sorry to hear that.’
Eveleen and Rebecca exchanged a glance. In her chair by the fire Mary glowered, but to Eveleen’s relief she said nothing.
With a forced brightness, Rebecca said, ‘But it’s me who’s going to be using this, Mr Martin. I don’t know how to thank you. It means I can work at home and help out a bit now that we’ve lost one of the wages.’
Eveleen let out her breath. Rebecca was prepared to play along with her scheme and she suspected that Mary would too, especially if it meant that she could continue to sit idly by the fire all day long.
Well, that was going to have to change too, Eveleen promised herself as she gave a brief nod towards Fred Martin, turned and headed for the stairs, leaving Rebecca to express the effusive thanks that once Eveleen would have done.
After a hurried supper, which Rebecca was anxious to have cleared away, the girl sat down at the table with the restored machine in front of her.
‘Mr Martin’s even brought me some yarn to get me started. Isn’t he kind?’
‘A lot of people have been very kind to us since we arrived in Nottingham,’ Eveleen murmured and Rebecca looked up.
‘Kinder than we were to you when you came to us, eh?’
‘Oh I didn’t mean that,’ Eveleen said at once.
Rebecca sighed. ‘But it’s true, Evie. I know it is and I’m ashamed that I didn’t do more to make you welcome.’
Eveleen sat down at the table opposite her and looked at Rebecca. The girl had been sunk in misery since Jimmy’s departure and Eveleen had despaired that she was ever going to raise her or Mary from their depression. But now, watching Rebecca as she ran her hands knowledgeably over the machine and threaded up the yarn in readiness to begin work, even at this late hour in the day, Eveleen could see that her young cousin now had a new purpose. The Griswold had restored her pride. It was something she could do and do well and she could contribute to the family’s income.
‘Don’t tire yourself, though, will you?’ Eveleen said gently to her, but forbore to add, You must think of the baby. At this moment she did not want to spoil the girl’s pleasure by reminding her of her problems. She was only too happy to see a tentative smile returning to Rebecca’s wan face.
Eveleen stood up and moved to the hearth to stand over her mother. It was time Mary Hardcastle started to pull herself together too.
‘Now, Mam,’ Eveleen began, firmly, but not unkindly. ‘Rebecca’s going to be busy earning a bit extra for us, so you’re going to have to look after the house. And it’s high time.’ She reached up to the shelf at the side of the fireplace and brought down Mary’s workbox holding all the bobbins for making pillow lace. She opened it and carefully lifted everything out. She moved one of the wooden chairs usually placed at the table in front of her and rested the pillow on its seat. Then she began to sort out the bobbins to try to pick up the threads of the piece of lace that her mother had started just before the tragedy of Walter’s death had happened. She had worked on it spasmodically during their time at Flawford, but since their arrival in Nottingham it had lain untouched in her workbox.
She heard a gurgling sound and both she and Rebecca looked swiftly at Mary. Startled, they saw that she was leaning back in her chair, tears running down her face. But to their amazement, her tears were of laughter.
‘Oh,’ Mary gasped, holding her midriff as if the laughter actually hurt her. ‘You don’t know how funny you look sitting there, dressed as Jimmy but doing a woman’s work. If he could see you now. If Jimmy could see you now.’
Eveleen and Rebecca glanced at each other and then back at Mary. And then they, too, began to laugh until their sides ached.
Thirty-Eight
After that evening when their laughter had broken the tension, everyone seemed in better spirits. Rebecca was the happiest she had been since the awful moment she had realized she was pregnant and even Mary roused herself enough to attempt a little lace-making during the day. She and Rebecca shared most of the household chores in the morning and then sat down to their stocking-making and lace-making in the afternoons.
If there was no supper on the table when Eveleen arrived home after a long day’s work, she forbore to complain. She was only thankful that the atmosphere was a great deal pleasanter in the house and also that they were making productive use of their time. For the first time since her father’s death, Eveleen had caught a brief glimpse of the woman her mother used to be when she had been loved and cherished by the gentle Walter Hardcastle. It gave her a glimmer of hope.
‘I don’t know how long you’re going to be able to keep up the pretence,’ Mary said. ‘I’m surprised no one’s twigged on to you yet.’
Eveleen had been playing the part of her brother for more than a week, and while there had been one or two moments when she thought her deception might be discovered, she had still carried it off. The hardest part was not letting her fac¸ade slip, not even for a moment, and always remembering to act as Jimmy would have done.
Already she had become a willing apprentice to Luke and had earned praise from him. ‘Well, you’ve turned out better than I expected, lad. See what you can do when you put your mind to it?’
Eveleen had hidden her smile.
Now, she answered her mother. ‘I don’t think Jimmy’d been there long enough for anyone to really get to know him.’
‘If you get caught, you’ll be out.’
‘Yes, Mam. I know that, but for the moment, it’s a risk worth taking.’
‘But you can’t be a boy for ever, Eveleen,’ Rebecca said softly. ‘I mean you might meet someone nice and want to get married.’ Her voice trailed away. Her future hopes and dreams were in tatters, but it didn’t stop the young girl having romantic notions for someone else.
‘That’s the least of my worries,’ Eveleen said with feeling.
Josh Carpenter rarely came to the machine room. Although he was in overall charge of the factory and answerable only to Mr Stokes, the day-to-day running of the machine shop was Mr Porter’s domain. Eveleen had thought herself safe from having to speak to Josh and the only times when she feared she might encounter him were when she arrived and left each day.
So it was a surprise one morning to glance up and see him standing near by. She gave him a brief nod – as Jimmy would have done – and concentrated on her work, but her fingers were trembling. Had she been discovered? Had Josh realized just who she really was?
Josh watched her working for a few moments, then leaned towards her and shouted above the clatter. ‘I don’t want to stop you working, but come to my office when you knock off, will you?’
Eveleen nodded. Her heart sank and she sighed inwardly. Only just over a week in the job and she had been found out. She doubted she would be even allowed to go back to her job in the workroom with the other women. No one in the management or workforce would take kindly to her deception.
Later that day, as she stepped nervously into his office and stood facing him, she remembered to keep up the act. She stood facing him with her hands in her pockets, a resentful expression on her face. It was how Jimmy would have acted at being delayed from escaping from the place.
‘Have you heard from your sister? Is she all right? When is she coming back?’ Josh, far from being the imposing figure Eveleen had once thought him, now looked rather vulnerable.
‘She’s fine,’ Eveleen said truthfully, but then the lies had to start and did not come so easily to her lips. ‘But Gran’s still ill. We don’t know when she’s coming back.’
Disappointment etched lines into the florid face. ‘Oh.’ He gave a great sigh that seemed to come from deep inside his huge frame. ‘Do you go to see her on a Sunday?’
Jimmy would certainly not have made any such effort, so Eveleen shrugged and said evasively, ‘I might.’
‘If you do, give her my regards. Her job’s still here for her.’
‘Righto,’ Eveleen said and left the office whistling through her teeth. She had been practising on the way home each night and now had Jimmy’s whistle almost perfect. But once outside the factory gates, she ceased her merry tune. She didn’t feel in the least merry tonight, even though she was relieved that the reason Josh had wanted to see her had not been what she had feared.
She had mixed feelings about Josh’s obvious interest in her as Eveleen. She wasn’t sure whether she was completely comfortable about it. Surely a man of his age – he was old enough to be her father – could not be interested in her romantically? Surely he couldn’t imagine . . . In a world where his position isolated him anyway and where his size made him a figure of fun for cruel, unthinking people, she had been nice to him, polite to him. Like a flower thirsting for water, he had soaked up her kindness.
I could write to him, she thought. I could write and thank him for getting us the Griswold and for his kind messages. Then ‘Jimmy’ could bring it into him next Monday morning as if he had seen me on the Sunday.
She felt so sorry for the man. Surely that couldn’t do any harm. Besides, Eveleen wasn’t even here, at least, not that he knew.
So, after chapel on the Sunday evening, Eveleen sat down to compose her letter. It had been at Rebecca’s surprising insistence that they still attended Chapel.
‘It’s so much a part of my life,’ she had said simply. ‘I have to go. I need to go.’ So Eveleen had gone along with her and had found some solace for herself in the services conducted by a young preacher who was far less fiery than the minister in Ranters’ Row.
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