"Ice cream?"
"Is it a good flavour?"
"I suppose that depends what you like. But isn't all ice cream good?"
"True." I step back to let her enter the room.
She makes her way over to the bed and plops down on it. She pulls the lid off the top of the ice cream and holds a spoon out to me.
I join her, taking it and digging it into the ice cream. I take a spoonful and let it melt in my mouth.
"Mmm, that is good," I admit. "Is it cookie dough?"
"It is," she agrees. "None of the other flavours compare."
"It is one of my favourites," I admit.
"Good. Then I guessed right." She smiles. "But I didn't just come with ice cream..."
"I guessed."
"Mathias said something rattled you today."
I raise an eyebrow. "He did?"
"It's what he's supposed to do if something affects one of us when we're out doing our jobs. We work with death all the time, it's important we all keep an eye on one another. Was it something you saw at the house? I know murder accusations can be a bit jarring, but it's normally something we can get through."
"No, it wasn't that." I bite my lip, wondering whether or not I can trust her with the information in the letter.
I reach over and pick it up, still unsure that this is the right thing to do, but needing to talk to someone about it. Locking myself up in my bedroom and not telling anyone isn't the right thing for me, or for my reaper team. They're relying on me to help them solve Denise's case, even if they're also using it to teach me.
"I got this today. It was left for me at the library." I hand her the scrunched up letter and wait for her to read it.
A horrible feeling of dread creeps over me. It feels wrong to be sharing something about the Association with an outsider. And even worse to know for sure that my worlds are colliding. Perhaps naively, I thought I might be able to keep the two worlds separate, especially with turning my back on the Association completely.
"The Shadow Association?" she asks.
"Yes."
"You're a member?"
"I guess? I'm not really sure. It's just where I grew up. I don't know much about it," I admit. "I always wanted to leave, even if I didn't understand it. Or maybe because I didn't understand it. I don't like being left in the dark." Which is one of the reasons I like it here. Every time I ask a question, I'm told the answer. This whole place is built on education. It's so at odds with the way the Association is run.
"What's the Shadow Oath?" she asks.
"I have no idea. They've never told me. Before I came here, I knew they'd planned to do mine. I presume because I turned eighteen. I left before I could learn any more about it."
"Understandable." She digs her spoon into the ice cream tub and takes another bite.
I raise an eyebrow. "You know about the Shadow Association?"
"Everyone does. Though for most people it's of them, not about them."
"You probably know more than me," I mutter. "I don't even know what the Association is other than the name. Is it as bad as it sounds?"
"It's kind of akin to a cult," she admits.
My mouth falls open. "I'm a member of a cult?" How can that be true if I didn't know it? "But I spent my childhood at a normal school."
"Maybe it's more like you're a pre member of a cult?"
I sigh heavily. "Great. What happens when people find that out?" I grab an extra-large spoonful of ice cream. It's needed right now.
"Nothing," Juliet assures me. "No one is going to tell anyone and we'll figure this out. Though we should go talk to Tobias and Mathias about this."
"We should?" I don't like the idea of more people finding out, even if I am growing to trust them.
"Their cousin joined the Shadow Association. They know more about it than we do. If you talk to them, they may be able to help."
"Oh."
"You don't have to if you don't want," she assures me. "I won't tell them anything if you don't want me to."
"You'd keep something like this from your boyfriend?" It's impossible to keep the surprise out of my voice.
"It's not my secret to reveal," she points out. "I'm not about to betray your trust in favour of someone else."
"Thank you, I appreciate it."
"But if you want their help, I know they'll give it. We can take it to the headmistress too if we need to. I'm not sure what she'll do, but she should be able to protect you."
"I think that's too far for now," I admit. "But it might be nice to talk to people who understand more about this than me."
"I can call them and ask them to come?"
"All right. I'd like that." I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do, but if I want to stand a chance at avoiding taking the Shadow Oath, then I need to do something. This is a chance to make that into reality. Even if it means sharing my past with people I've only known for a week.
Chapter Twelve
The common room is completely abandoned at this time, which isn't surprising. Most people are either in bed, or otherwise preoccupied with one activity or another. Which is a good thing. I don't want anyone to overhear what the four of us are going to talk about. This is already three people more than I ever intended to talk about my past with.
Juliet sets down a tray of hot drinks, all of them much better than the ones that come out of the vending machine.
"Where did you get those?" I ask.
"I bought myself a magical coffee machine when I earned enough bounty points. I got fed up of the nasty stuff the vending machine provides."
"It's not that bad."
"You're only saying that because you haven't tried the coffee my machine makes." She pushes one of the mugs towards me.
Footsteps sound behind me. I tense before realising it'll just be Mathias making his way into the common room.
"Hey." He drops down into one of the seats and grabs a mug without Juliet having to tell him which is his."Tobias is bringing snacks."
"I've trained him well," Juliet says with a satisfied sigh.
Mathias takes a sip of his coffee and leans back in his chair. His hair is mussed as if he's just been lying down, but he doesn't look sleepy. A horrible feeling sets into my gut. Was he with a girl?
I push the thought aside. Juliet said he didn't sleep around, and even if he does, it's none of my business.
He smiles when he notices me watching him. A blush rises to my cheeks, but I remind myself there's nothing to be embarrassed about and return it.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, there was a queue at the shop," Tobias says as he pushes through the outside door and enters the common room with a grocery bag over his arm.
"Do a lot of people go pick up groceries at eleven?" I ask. I've never been out that late thanks to the Association's curfews. I wonder if they insist on one for the adult members too? Probably.
"I swear people see the closing time as a challenge," he responds. "The drunk people are the worst."
Juliet shrugs. "We've all been there. The munchies are very real."
"I've never had a drink," I admit.
All three of them turn to face me with surprised expressions.
"There aren't many chances when you grow up in a cult," I mutter.
"I feel like I missed something," Tobias says.
I take a deep breath. This isn't going to be pretty, especially if their cousin is a member.
"I grew up in a house belonging to the Shadow Association," I blurt out.
The brothers exchange glances.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Mathias asks.
"It's not the easiest thing to tell anyone. And I also didn't really know."
Tobias frowns. "How can you not know you used to live in a cult?"
"If people knew they were in a cult, then cults wouldn't have the power they do," Juliet points out.
"No one has ever told me what the Shadow Association even is. All I know about it is that they raised me from when I was a baby. I went to school like
a normal human and didn't take part in any rituals or anything. I knew the adults in the house I lived in were cold and didn't seem to really care about any of us. But they never told us anything about the Association themselves other than that they were the ones who had to sign all our official stuff." Now I'm saying it out loud, I have to wonder how I managed to miss all the signs.
"That's what I suggested talking to the two of you about this," Juliet says. "I know you know more about it after what happened with Stephanie."
Mathias grimaces. "We don't talk about it very much."
"You don't have to if you don't want to," I assure him quickly, not wanting to make either of my new friends uncomfortable.
Mathias narrows his eyes. "What aren't you telling us?"
"She's been summoned to take the Shadow Oath," Juliet says. "That's the letter she got at the library."
Tobias pulls snacks out of the bag and puts them on the table. He must have suspected how hard the conversation was going to be judging by the mountain of sugary and greasy snacks.
"That's not good. It's really hard to get someone out once they've sworn the oath," Tobias says.
"I never wanted to swear it," I assure them. "I don't even know what it's about."
"You're expected to promise to uphold the rules of the Shadow Association and denounce all ties with any other supernatural organisation," Mathias says.
My mouth falls open. "What? The Shadow Association is supernatural?"
"They really didn't tell you anything?" Tobias raises an eyebrow.
"Nope. Nothing at all. Maybe they hoped we wouldn't ask too many questions and they'd get away with...I'm still not sure." I resist the urge to bury my face in my hands and hide from the world.
"Don't forget your coffee," Juliet reminds me softly.
I nod, glad for something to take my mind off how helpless I feel. I pick up the mug and take a sip. Juliet isn't wrong, this is much better than the vending machine coffee. If she's not careful, she's going to end up with me in her room getting coffee all the time. But perhaps that's her plan.
"The Shadow Association is a group of supernaturals who feel we should be living undercover and humans shouldn't know of our existence," Mathias says.
"What? But that doesn't help anyone. The world is so much better with everyone out in the open." I haven't been part of the supernatural world for that long, but I've always known different supernaturals exist, and that the world being mixed has done wonders for the world. Especially when it comes to things like medical and technological advancements. The idea there's a whole sect of people who don't think it's a good thing is beyond me.
"You don't have to convince us," Mathias points out. "Coming to Scythe Grove teaches us to do the complete opposite of what the Shadow Association teaches."
True. Reapers help the deceased and trapped souls of humans, and their families. I doubt the Shadow Association would approve of it.
"I'm guessing that's why they're not too happy about me coming here." I wouldn't be in their shoes either. But that's not something I want to change. "How do I get out of the oath?" I glance between them, hoping one of them will have the answer.
"I don't know. Very few people have left the Shadow Association," Tobias says. "We don't know much about it beyond what it is and what they do. I think they started out with the right intention in giving supernaturals who weren't ready to expose themselves to the world a safe place, but they've become more over time."
"I'm surprised we don't hear more about them," Juliet adds. "I only know what I do about them because of what Tobias has told me. To most people, they're nothing more than an urban legend."
"So all of the children at the house I grew up in are supernaturals but don't know it?" I think back through everything I've seen Annalise and the others do, wondering what they are. I never talked about my ability to see ghosts, which could mean they haven't talked about the things they could do either.
"Probably. I don't see the Shadow Association letting humans in any time soon. That would defeat the whole point," Mathias says.
"Ah. Yes."
None of this helps me with what I need to do in order to stop them from demanding me to swear the oath.
I take a sip of my coffee. Despite not feeling like I have any solutions, I do feel lighter having shared the situation with three people I trust. I don't have to go through all of this alone. It's going to take a few more reminders until I never forget that, but things are changing for me.
Mathias reaches out and places his hand over mine, giving it a light squeeze. "We'll figure this out, Syxe."
I don't recognise the emotion in his voice, but I appreciate it all the same. And the way his hand feels on mine. I can't explain why the small gesture feels so good, or what's different about the way he interacts with me and the way Juliet does. Maybe once we've sorted out the Shadow Oath business, we'll have a chance to figure it out. At the moment, I haven't known him long enough to be sure there could be something more. Perhaps we're just destined to be friends.
As much as destiny gets a say in anything.
"Thank you for telling me what you know," I say to the twins.
"Any time," Mathias assures me, his gaze locked on mine.
"Now that's done, anyone fancy watching a movie while we eat all these snacks?" Juliet asks.
"Sounds good to me," Tobias responds. "Do you two want to join?"
"If we're not intruding?" The last thing I want to do is end up ruining their couple time.
"So long as you leave after the movie ends you won't be." He winks.
I smother a laugh while Mathias groans.
"I don't want to know what the two of you get up to," he mumbles.
"No one plans on telling you," Juliet chimes in. "Why don't you grab the blankets and pillows from your rooms and come to mine? Tobias and I will set everything up."
"Sounds good so long as I can have more of this coffee." I lift the mug. "Or maybe not. It's late."
"I have decaf," she assures me. "I'll get the drinks on the way before I do anything else."
The two of them get to their feet and clear away the snacks and mugs before disappearing up to the dorms.
"Are you okay?" Mathias asks me once we're alone.
I sigh. "It's a lot to take in. But I think so."
"I don't think I've ever met someone as brave and resilient as you." The earnestness in his eyes is almost too much to take.
I glance away, unable to bear the scrutiny. "It's nothing."
"I'm serious, Syxe."
Ah, there he goes using my name again. I love the way he says it.
"We're a team, I hope you know that. And I plan to support you in any way I can. Not just because of that."
"Thank you, I appreciate it more than I can possibly say." I meet his gaze again and notice something has changed in it.
The air is heavy, almost as if there's something hanging between us. It isn't unpleasant. Quite the opposite, but I'm also not sure I'm ready to do anything about it.
Mathias clears his throat. "We should go to Juliet's before they decide to lock us out."
I nod, trying to ignore the disappointment welling up within me. "Yes."
But I'm not going to be forgetting this moment between us any time soon. If anything, I'm going to end up fixating on it more than I should. Hopefully, that will help me come to a conclusion for what I want to come from it and what I want from him.
Chapter Thirteen
I'm nervous being outside the academy for the first time since receiving the summons from the Shadow Association, but I know I need to be here if I want to see what happens when a ghost is reaped.
If we were on our own schedule, perhaps I'd have had to wait. But after it became clear Denise's death was due to foul play, we moved onto a very different one. When the police called this morning to say they were going to arrest Daniel, it made it impossible for us to say no to leaving. If this is Denise's unfinished business, then she'll be ready to move on and we sho
uld be there to reap her. We could have passed it on to the Reaper Guard, but I can't run away from the first reaping I'm going to be a part of.
I glance over my shoulder, half expecting someone I know from the Shadow Association to be standing there with ropes and a bag for my head. They're not. Which makes sense when it's the middle of the day.
Not that they'd need anything as mundane as ropes and a hood if they're all supernaturals. I'm almost certain they'd be able to overpower me considering I'm an eighteen-year-old reaper who had no idea about her powers until recently, never mind any control over them.
At least I have my scythe with me. I'm not sure whether or not it'll do any good protecting me, or how much trouble I'd get in if I used it that way, but it's a reassuring weight on my back.
"Nothing bad is going to happen," Mathias assures me. "We're going to make sure everything is fine."
I sigh. "I really hope you're right."
The policeman in front of us knocks on the door a few times but doesn't announce himself. I suspect that's the next step. It's strange to be waiting behind law enforcement when I've only ever seen them from a distance before.
The door swings open, revealing Daniel with a confused expression on his face. Denise floats a few feet behind, a surprised expression of delight on her face.
"Daniel Robinson, you're under arrest for the murder of Denise Robinson..."
"No." The man in question stumbles back before turning and racing through the house, presumably to the back door. The police aren't fools. I'm sure they have it covered.
The two officers at the front with us chase after him, leaving Mathias and I alone with the ghost.
"Thank you," Denis says to me.
"You're welcome. Are you ready to move on?" A small part of me worries about doing this without another seer around, but Tobias briefed me before I came out here. I still wish he and Juliet could have come with us, but they had to be at a meeting.
"I think so."
"Okay. Mathias is going to do that for you. Is there anywhere, in particular, you want to be for this?"
Shadow Seer (Scythe Grove Academy Book 1) Page 6
