Chapter 20
Ryan
Two Months Ago.
“You still up to play delegations?” Reyes asked.
Turning to my right, I set my beer back down on the bar. What the fuck was he talking about?
“You wanted to go to the other club, the Bloody Saints,” he reminded me.
Fuck yeah. I needed to get the fuck away from here before I killed someone. Someone Reyes also wanted gone, but there wasn’t shit we could do about it.
“You head out in two hours,” he tells me then slaps the wooden table and walked away.
You really wanted to leave her here unattended? What if they’re touching, kissing, or fucking? My hands clenched hard enough that my knuckles cracked.
I needed to pack, who the fuck knew how long I’d be gone.
“Ryan,” Gunners shouted as he walked in my direction.
“Yeah?” I asked him, my tone harsh.
“Fuck man calm your shit down. Wanted to let you know I had the prospects change the oil and give your bike a good clean,” he tells me with a smirk.
The fucker loved making the prospects do bitch work.
“I need you to do something for me,” I tell him.
“Anything brother,” he replied.
“Watch Bianca, I don’t trust that cock sucker,” I tell him, my voice turned cold. Anger and jealousy were riding me hard.
“Was planning on it,” he tells me with a cold smirk.
“Thanks, man,” I tell him as I started to walk away.
“When are you going to officially claim her?” His voice was low, so only I could hear it.
“I can’t,” I tell him, the truth fucking hurt. Bianca couldn’t be mine.
“The fuck?” Gunner asked.
“Reyes would kill my ass,” I tell him.
We didn’t need brothers going to war over this. As much as I wanted her to be my old lady, she couldn’t. There was a hollow ache in my chest when I thought about what I couldn’t have.
“I never took you for a pussy,” he tells me while shaking his head.
Before I could clock the fucker, he was gone. Fuck this shit, I needed to pack and get the fuck on the road.
Chapter 21
Bianca
One Month and Three Weeks Ago.
He was gone. Left without a word, a wave, or a fuck you. I shouldn’t be surprised, but I was. Somewhere deep down I thought he would come around. That he would want me the way that I wanted him.
I was a fool, a pregnant fool. Thomas surprisingly came back around. I’ve tried to scare him off, but he keeps coming back.
I knew one way to have him running for the hills, but I didn’t want to tell anyone before I told Ryan. What if he doesn’t want the baby? The thought was like a slap to the face. I didn’t want to think about that.
Alanna was thinking about coming home. I could tell her self-imposed witness relocation was wearing on her. Her little baby bump was adorable. Soon I would have one too.
You need to tell him before it’s obvious. My mind whispered.
No fucking shit. But I needed to find the asshole first. And when I did… I didn’t know what I was going to do. Guess it depended on what he’s been up too and with whom. If another woman was in the picture, I might kill them both.
My hand went to the blade that I kept strapped at my hip. Often the size of my shirt decided the size of my blade. Today I had on a long green lose sweater. My pants were getting too tight, so I needed the longer clothing to cover up the fact my pants weren’t buttoned. So, my blade was of the six-inch variety.
I needed to go pants shopping. I wasn’t ready for the stretch waistband of maternity pants, but I could go up a size or two in the regular clothing department.
Alanna: I need bigger clothes. ☹
I laughed to myself because so did I. It’s like she was reading my thoughts.
Me: Shopping trip?
Alanna: That is a must!
Me: Be there soon.
Alanna: Can’t wait. Maybe we can get us some sexy nighties?
Me: Who the hell would see them?
Alanna: Hot men ??
Me: You are crazy!
I knew she wouldn’t go searching for anyone. Reyes was it for her. Just like Ryan was it for me.
Alanna: Sometimes it’s nice to feel sexy.
Me: Let’s do this shit!
Alanna: That’s the B that I know and love!
Me: See you soon.
Reyes was eyeing me. He’s been doing that more and more. He was aware that I knew where Alanna was. He was waiting for me to slip up. Fat chance in that happening. I learned how to keep to the shadows from him.
After an hour of dodging my brother’s lackeys, I made it to Alanna’s house and then to the mall. Shopping was filled with giggles and happy feelings.
For once I didn’t miss Ryan. I didn’t think about how it hurt that he was gone. I didn’t think about telling him about the baby. It was the best day I’ve had in a long fucking time. Even if I had to buy bigger clothes.
Chapter 22
Bianca
One Month Ago.
This date was a whole new level of hell. Thomas was sweet, a gentleman and completely boring. When was I going to give up this charade and move on?
Thomas didn’t deserve to be my cover. I was using him as a shield. What kind of person did that make me? Not a very good one.
I wanted Ryan, but I was dating Thomas. Ryan who needed to know I was pregnant with his child. Whenever I found myself in a position to tell him about his pending fatherhood, terror took over. I would make an offhand excuse and dart from his general vicinity.
Not that I’ve seen him over the last month. Whenever I asked it was always club business. Was he with someone and they didn’t want to tell me?
“So, I told him I needed more time to consider the trip,” Thomas’s voice cracked into my thoughts like a sludge hammer to concrete.
“Oh yeah?” I asked him.
I had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.
“Are you okay?” His voice was gentle and full of concern.
“Yeah?” It was more of a question than an answer.
“You seem off tonight,” he said quietly.
I didn’t point out that I’ve been off every time we have gone out. That I was lost in thoughts of Ryan and of the scary future ahead of me. If Thomas knew about the baby would he leave?
Do it. Tell Thomas and get it over with. You don’t want him anyway. The thought wasn’t foreign.
“Thomas…” I started, ready to just get him running for the hills and this bullshit excuse of a date over with.
“Bianca, I’ve had a great time with you,” he interrupted me.
I sat back in my chair lost for words. I was ready to tell Thomas shit that would have him leaving this restaurant and heading to other places where I would never see him again. Fuck, the man lived miles away.
Opening my mouth to spit out some words, what words, I didn’t know when my phone dinged.
Alanna: B, I’m ready to come home.
Casting a look at Thomas, I looked back at my phone.
Me: Are you sure?
Alanna: I can’t hide forever.
Me: No, but at the same time there is my brother.
Alanna: Yeah, I know. But he should know about the baby. Keeping this from him was wrong.
My hand automatically went to my stomach. Alanna was right, and I hated that. It was time to grab this shit by the ears. No, I needed to treat this like a band-aid and rip it off quickly.
She needed to tell my brother, and I can wait until after that. One shock at a time, my mind whispered. Fuck! I was a pussy. Because I knew I was going to do exactly that. I was going to wait on her.
There was one thing I could do. It was time to let Thomas go. I knew there would never be anything more between us. He deserved better than that. Fuck, I deserved better than that.
Chapter 23
Ryan
Present Day.
Reyes was still in a foul mood. I left here a month ago to deal with the Saints. The fuckers were crazy. Even though I came bearing the good news of an alliance, Reyes still looked ready to gut someone.
“Mason sends his best,” I tell Reyes.
Mason was the president of the Saints Blood MC. Fucker was also scary and unpredictable.
“Thank fuck,” Reyes grumbled looking anything but relieved.
“They want to have a party,” I tell him.
I thought we had wild parties, we had nothing compared to them. Naked woman everywhere, booze to rival any liquor store, weed, fuck even fireworks.
“Yeah, well, set something up,” he tells me, already involved in something else. His eyes were on the computer in front of him.
“Brother?” I asked.
“Yeah, go have a beer and settle in,” he tells me with a dismissive wave.
I thought about arguing. Instead, I made my way back out to the main room. Blue, one of our prospects, had a beer on the counter waiting for me before I even reached him.
Just as I settled in, I had my beer almost to my lips when there was a commotion at the door. The room was loud but not as loud. My eyes went to the door, and my mouth went dry.
Alanna came back. She walked into the clubhouse like she hadn’t disappeared four months ago. My eyes darted down her body and focused on her rounded stomach that she was sporting.
Fuck, this was bad. If it’s not Reyes, he’s going to fucking go on a murderous rampage. If it is his, he is going to flip his shit. She’s been out there unprotected and pregnant. Yeah, this was going to get bad.
None of that was the reason for my suddenly dry mouth. That was a thing only Bianca did to me. Who also happened to be right beside Alanna. Her hand tucked into Alanna’s, a silent show of support. My eyes remained on Bianca as she shifted restlessly.
For a moment I was wondering what she would look like pregnant with a child. With my child. The thought had my dick hardening, and something in my chest pinched.
“Fuck,” Gunner grumbled.
Fuck was right. Shit, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be in the room when Reyes made his appearance.
“This is going to end badly,” I tell Gunner.
“Shit storm,” Gunner replied.
“Fucking hope it’s his,” I said quietly.
“Oh, it’s his,” Gunner tells me.
He really believed that? Looking at him I took in his stance. Yeah, there wasn’t a doubt in the man’s mind it was Reyes baby.
“Bianca and Thomas have been getting closer,” Gunner tells me.
The change of topic wasn’t a welcoming one. What the fuck did I say to that?
“Seen them around town,” Gunner continued as if he was ripping me apart.
Something twisted deep inside me. I fought the need to plant my fist in Gunner’s face.
Alanna chose that moment to make her move. She started down the hallway with Bianca right on her heels. I felt myself move.
I closed the space between us in long, hard strides. Both girls were focused on what was going on in front of them, lost in their thoughts.
“When we reach his office, I want to go in alone,” Alanna tells Bianca.
“Fuck, that shit. I’m here for you Al,” Bianca replied heatedly.
“I’ll be fine. This is between Reyes and me,” Alanna said firmly.
I could hear a note of fear in her voice. Reyes has been a saint not once looking for pussy since she disappeared. I hoped like fuck he hadn’t changed his mind and decided to pull on the sweets in his office.
The sound of Alanna’s knuckles tapping on the wood had my eyes leaving Bianca’s beautiful body. Keeping my eyes of her for long period was hard. She had this healthy glow to her, it drew my eyes to here. I was like a dying man in the desert, and she was my salvation.
Alanna opened the door and disappeared inside. I waited for the screaming to start but only heard silence.
Bianca shifted, and her movement drew my eyes back to her. Something dark in me coiled as I took in the fact that she was watching me.
“Ryan,” she said quietly.
“Bianca,” I replied.
“Didn’t know you were back,” she tells me.
Something in her demeanor had me looking at her a little more closely. Before I was partially focused on Alanna and her current situation.
My chest pinched again as I took in the bigger clothes and the drawn look on her face. She was hurting.
“What’s wrong?” I asked her before I could stop myself.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she tells me as she looked at her feet.
“Bianca…” I started.
“No, okay just don’t do this,” she whispered in a hoarse voice.
My feet pulled me closer, and when I was in reach, my hand fisted her hair pulling it back and forcing her to look at me. The sadness in her eyes just slayed me.
Before I could stop myself, my lips were pressed hard against hers. My tongue caressed the seam of Bianca’s lips pleading for entry.
Her fingers dug into my shoulders as if she wanted to push me away but instead was holding me and pulling me closer.
Her little moans had me harder than concrete. My cock pulsed and pressed hard against the zipper of my jeans.
“Fuck baby, you feel so good,” I groaned the words against our joined lips.
“Oh,” she moaned as my knee pressed against her jean covered mound.
“You’re mine,” I tell her as I deepened the kiss.
Her hands pressed flat against my chest and then she shoved me back.
“What the fuck?” I asked her, my voice held all the desire and confusion that I felt.
“We can’t do this not again,” she tells me.
Again? What the fuck did she mean again?
“What the fuck do you mean? This is the first fucking time I’ve touched you, and baby I will be the last fucking one to touch you,” I growled as I pulled her closer.
“Please let me go, Ryan,” she whispered tearfully.
My eyes zero in on her wet ones. She needed space. Fine, I’d give her space, but I had to make sure she understood one thing first.
“You want space baby, I’ll give you space but remember You. Are. Mine.” I tell her firmly.
Chapter 24
Bianca
Present Day.
He was holding and kissing me, and he didn’t fucking remember our night together. That hurt so fucking much. I was afraid if I looked down, I would see a hole in my chest.
The warmth of his body welcoming me moments ago was like flames burning my skin. I needed away from him now. Pushing him back I debated the wisdom of staying so close.
Alanna may need me here. She was in there right now with my brother, and it was all entirely too silent. Would she understand my need to disappear?
Why wouldn’t she, Alanna left? But she doesn’t know about my baby. Fuck! This was a shit storm of epic proportions. My hands glided into my hair as I grabbed handfuls of it and tugged slightly, welcoming the burn.
Get the fuck out of here before you throw yourself at him. It’s not like you have too much pride where he is concerned.
Taking a deep breath, I cast one more look at the door and then at Ryan. I tried to fight the need to run. I was a coward, anyway, running won’t make a difference.
I thought for a moment that he would chase me. Beg me to stay. But the silence behind me caused another hole to open. If I looked, I was sure I resembled swiss cheese.
Pulling the door open to my car, I closed it quickly behind me. The moment the car started, I had the urge to place my forehead against the wheel.
Tears filled and spilled down my face as I made my way home. Right now, I wanted nothing more than to close the door and lock it. Block out the world and forget everyone and everything.
Shit, I did forget. Poor Alanna.
Me: I’m sorry I needed to leave.
Alanna: Don’t worry about it.
/> Me: Reyes take it ok?
Alanna: Went all caveman and started thumping his chest.
Me: wished I’d seen that.
Alanna: No, you don’t. He was pissed! He thought I was with another man. After I punched him in the face, he told me we were going to get married. After I punched him again, he started getting all demanding and the next thing I knew clothes were flying….
Me: Oh god, no more.
Alanna: Now Are you glad you didn’t see it? ??
Me: I have something to tell you….
Alanna: Ryan?
Me: Yes.
Alanna: I think I know.
Me: Not likely.
Alanna: Preggers can tell other preggers….
Me: Is it like stamped on my forehead?
Alanna: No, but it will be all over your body soon. What about Thomas?
Me: Yeah, I need to tell him. We can’t do this anymore. It’s not right that I’m stringing him along.
Alanna: You didn’t string him. You wanted what we all want, love.
Me: But, I knew it wasn’t him.
Alanna: Don’t beat yourself up B.
Me: I love you.
Alanna: Love you too. I’m here for you, even if all that you want is to run.
Me: You’re the best!
Alanna: Don’t forget it!
Setting the phone down on my nightstand I laid on my bed. My hands covered my growing stomach. How much longer before it became too much to hide?
To damn soon. You need to grow some balls and tell Ryan.
Grabbing my cell phone, I took deep even breathes.
Me: I’m sorry.
Thomas: Why? What do you have to be sorry for?
Me: Everything. I’m in love with someone else.
Thomas: ?
Me: I’m so damn sorry. You deserve better.
Thomas: I’m not giving up, Bianca.
Me: You don’t get a choice in this.
Thomas: I do, and you’re mine.
That was the second time tonight I was told that, and this time it didn’t feel as good.
Me: Good Bye, Thomas.
Thomas: I’ll be seeing you soon.
Taking a deep breath, I dropped my phone onto the bed. Thomas was just upset. He wasn’t really threatening me, was he? No, what the hell is wrong with me. Thomas is a sweetheart.
Wanting Ryan (The Grimm Brothers MC Book 3) Page 5
