by Marta Perry
Reaching out, he tenderly stroked her cheek with the back of his knuckles. “Neither will I, Amber. Neither will I.”
* * *
Phillip didn’t want her to go. The delight he’d felt when he held her in his arms was stronger than anything he’d experienced before. She fit so perfectly.
Perhaps those feelings had been caused by the heightened emotions they both shared following Mary’s delivery. Perhaps it was because Amber was a remarkable, beautiful woman.
Whatever the reasons, he knew once she stepped out of the car they had to go back to their roles of doctor and nurse. Working side by side, never touching the way he touched her now.
She said, “I should go.”
He withdrew his hand. Other than locking the doors and driving away with her, he couldn’t think of any way to stop her from leaving.
Silently admitting defeat, he tried for a normal, friendly tone. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow at the clinic.”
“You mean today at the clinic.”
She was right. Dawn was still a few hours away, but he wasn’t in any rush to get home. Sleep would be very hard to come by. He would relive that tender kiss many times before he slumbered. Probably for many nights to come.
“Don’t forget, Gina Curtis will be in first thing,” she reminded him.
Shaking his head, he said, “I’ve never seen a person so happy to find out there was actually something wrong with her.”
“Poor Gina. I feel terrible for dismissing her complaints so callously.”
“What happened in the past can’t be changed. What we do from now on is what’s important. Get some sleep, Nurse Bradley. I’ll need you at your best today.”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to drop you off at your place?” she asked.
“No, a walk will do me good. It’s only a few blocks. Besides, it not like Hope Springs has much of a criminal element.”
He got out and came around to her side of the car. Opening the door, he handed her the keys as she got out. “I’ll expect you at eight sharp.”
“Yes, Doctor,” she replied smartly and walked up the steps to her house.
She never looked back. He knew because he waited at the curb until she entered her front door, until the downstairs lights finally went out and until her upstairs bedroom window went dark. Only then did he walk away.
At the corner, he stopped and looked back. How was he going to stay away?
Chapter Sixteen
After a sleepless, very short night, Amber arrived at the clinic determined to revert to her normal working relationship with Phillip. The last thing she needed was for things to be strained between them.
By the middle of the morning she knew it wasn’t working.
There were all those little things that sparked memories of the kiss. Like when he handed her a cup of coffee when she arrived and their hands touched for a brief moment. The current of attraction that ran between them zinged like lightning. It grew more powerful with each passing moment.
Not long afterwards, she came face-to-face with him in the break room door. She froze, unable to move as she stared into his expressive eyes. He was thinking about the kiss, too.
He found the presence of mind to step back and allow her to leave. If he hadn’t, she’d still be standing there longing to find out if a second kiss would be as wonderful as the first.
Several times throughout the morning she looked up to find him staring at her. Once, he had the sweetest smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. The next time, he wore a faraway sad look, as if he’d lost something important. Was she important to him? She was afraid to ask. Afraid that he would say yes. Afraid he would say no.
A little before noon, Amber’s phone rang. Phillip, having finished with their last patient of the morning, stopped outside her door to wait as she answered it.
It was the husband of Sophie Knepp. Excitement sent Amber’s pulse skipping. She loved delivering babies and was grateful God had chosen her for this special work.
After assuring Elijah Knepp that she would be there within the hour, she closed her phone, looked at Phillip and grinned. “Ready to help me bring another child into the world?”
He glanced at the schedule board. “We’ve got three more patients to see this afternoon.”
Sitting back in her chair, she shrugged. “Clue number one as to why Harold lets me do my own deliveries. Not enough hours in the day. I can do this on my own,” she offered.
“That’s not the agreement we signed.”
She smiled sweetly. “Can’t blame a girl for trying.”
He struggled not to smile but lost the battle. “I’ll get Wilma to reschedule. Give me five minutes. Will this one last all night, too?”
“That’s not likely. It’s baby number five for Sophie Knepp. She’s not due for three more weeks, but her other babies have come this early. They did fine.”
“Knepp? I remember reading her chart. She’s not a candidate for home delivery. She’s high-risk.” All levity vanished from his face.
Amber bristled. “In my professional assessment, she is not a high-risk mother.”
“Then professionally we disagree.”
“Yes, I believe we do.” To think she’d been feeling sorry for him less than an hour ago.
“Call the Knepps back. Tell them to make arrangements for Mrs. Knepp to go to the hospital in Millersburg. I’ll meet them there.”
“Yes, Doctor,” she snapped. Annoyed, Amber flipped open her phone and poked in the numbers.
After eight rings, she hung up. “There’s no answer. It’s likely that Elijah called from one of the rural phone booths shared by several of Amish families in his area.”
“I thought they didn’t use phones.”
“Not in their homes. Some who need phones for their businesses share a freestanding booth located centrally to their farms.”
“So how do we contact him and tell him about the change of plans?”
“Wilma will know if they have a neighbor with a phone who can deliver that message. If not, one of us will have to go out there.” Amber picked up her desk phone and asked Wilma to see what she could find out.
Hanging up, Amber glared at Phillip. “She’s looking into it.”
“Good. Keep me informed.”
Something in his tone pushed her over the edge. “Yes, Dr. White, of course, Dr. White. I shall keep you informed of the situation without delay, Dr. White. How could you think otherwise?”
Turning back to her computer, she said, “Now, if you will excuse me, I have work to do.”
She pulled out her keyboard and began typing up her notes from her last delivery. He didn’t move. He simply stood in the doorway staring at her. Try as she might, she couldn’t ignore him.
With an exasperated huff, she looked up. “Yes, Dr. White, is there something else? Some other mistake I’ve made that needs to be pointed out?”
“Amber, please.”
“Please what? Please don’t be annoyed that you can’t trust my judgment? You know what? You’re right. That little episode of bad judgment on my part last night proves your point.”
Taking a step toward her, he said, “We need to talk about that.”
Nope. That was the last thing she wanted. What if she blurted out how much she enjoyed it?
“I have nothing to say to you. Now, this is still my office. I have work to do. Close the door on your way out.” Pushing the print button on the machine at the side of her desk, she focused on the noisy clatter as her notes were transferred to paper.
He didn’t reply. When she looked up from her task, her door was closed. Phillip was standing inside with his arms folded across his chest. The look on his face said he wasn’t going anywhere.
* * *
Phillip had no idea how to handle Amber when she was in a mood like this one, but he couldn’t leave until they had reached some kind of understanding. She had become too important to him, and he had hurt her.
Trusting God to bring him
the right words, he crossed the room and pulled a chair over beside her. He sat down and took her hand. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” She tried to pull away. He held on.
The catch in her voice made him want to kick himself for upsetting her. “I’m sorry for a lot of things. For kissing you last night, not in the least.”
“If you’re expecting a repeat, you’re not getting one.”
He chuckled. “How can you be so cute even when you’re mad at me?” She opened her mouth but shut it quickly. He turned her hand over and began stroking her palm with his thumb. “Now you’re speechless?”
“I can’t very well say I’m not cute because I am. That doesn’t make me less irritated with you.”
Her tone, if not her words, showed she was somewhat mollified. It was hard to believe she hadn’t pulled her hand away and slapped him. That gave him hope.
“Let’s get things out in the open. Maybe then we won’t have to tiptoe around each other for the next few weeks.”
“That’s not necessary.”
“I think it is. From my point of view, we were both elated by the beauty of Anna’s birth. The moonlight and the scent of roses were utterly romantic. You are a beautiful woman. One thing led to another and we kissed. It wasn’t wrong. It was an expression of joy. I’d repeat the event in a heartbeat.”
The tension left her shoulders and the wary expression disappeared from her eyes. A shy smile tugged at the corner of her oh-so-kissable lips. “That wasn’t exactly an apology.”
“No, and I won’t offer one. I don’t regret that I kissed you. I do regret it’s making it difficult for us to work together. Believe it or not, I do understand boundaries.”
“You’re giving our interlude too much credit. We had trouble working together before then.”
Letting go of her hand, he sat back with a grin. “Okay, you’re right about that, but we are making progress.”
“I know I’m right. I’m right about a lot of things. Including Sophie Knepp.”
Leaning forward, he rested his forearms on his knees and clasped his hand together. “Let’s say you are right and her delivery goes off without a hitch. Is it really going to make a difference to this Amish community to have one mother deliver at a hospital just to be on the safe side? Come on, are these people so fragile or so autocratic that they can’t accept this?”
He watched the internal struggle going on behind her expressive eyes. Finally, she shook her head.
He sat back. “I’ve reviewed your charts. I have agreed with all your assessments except this one. Doesn’t that prove I think you know your stuff?”
“Maybe.”
“Not maybe. Yes or no?”
“Okay, yes, you believe I know my stuff.”
“And you will agree that I know my stuff?”
“Maybe.”
Shaking his head in exasperation, he said, “Yes or no, Amber?”
“Yes, you’re a skilled doctor who has the best interests of his patients in mind.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Reaching out, he took her hand again. “Does this mean we can kiss and make up?”
She yanked her hand away. “In your dreams, buster.”
How right she was. She’d been invading his dreams for some time now. He didn’t see it stopping anytime soon.
There was a knock at the door. Wilma looked in. “I got hold of the Knepps’ neighbor who went right over to give them your message. He just called me back on his cell phone. He was still at their house. Sophie says it was false labor. Elijah jumped the gun by calling. She says she’s sorry to have alarmed you.”
“Thank you, Wilma.”
Rising, Phillip looked at them both. “We’ve got forty minutes before our next patient. How about lunch at the Shoofly? It’s on me.”
“I’ve already had my sandwich,” Wilma replied. She left the room, but she made a point of leaving the door open.
Phillip turned to Amber. “What about you? Have you forgiven me enough to join me for lunch?”
“Only if we go Dutch.”
It was always small victories with her. Independent, stubborn and passionate about her work, he wouldn’t have her any other way. “Dutch it is.”
Leaving Wilma to hold down the fort, Phillip walked beside Amber as they traversed the few blocks to the café.
He fought the urge to hold her hand the entire way. He kept his hands inside his lab coat pockets instead.
The day was sunny and warm, but the breeze made it bearable. At the café, the interior was cool and filled with appetizing aromas that made his mouth water. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was.
Katie came forward to greet them. “Willkommen. I’m afraid we don’t have a table for you, but the wait should not be long. Our special today is pork chops with fresh peas and home-baked dinner rolls.”
“Sounds wonderful, Katie. What’s for dessert?”
Katie grinned, “We have raisin pie. I know you want a slice of that.”
“Oh, yes I do.”
Phillip nudged Amber with his elbow. “Let’s have lunch first before you go diving into dessert.”
“All right, but we don’t have time to wait for a table. It took us ten minutes to walk here.”
“We have some fried chicken ready. I can make you a quick picnic,” Katie offered.
“Is that all right?” Phillip asked Amber. He loved the outdoors and the sun on his face. He suspected Amber was the outdoorsy type but he didn’t know for certain.
To his delight, she said, “Sounds great. We can eat at the park. It’s a block from the clinic.”
He liked the sound of that. Amber was being practical. He saw it as the perfect opportunity to spend some quality time with her. Their brief but so-very-sweet kiss left him longing for more. He smiled at the prospect of a repeat.
A hint of wariness crept into her eyes. He wiped the grin from his face. It wasn’t like he was planning to kiss her again. He wasn’t. Absolutely not. No way.
He turned his attention to the rest of the room. From their spot by the door, he saw the place was indeed packed with a dozen or so English tourists, and numerous Amish families at the other tables.
Phillip leaned toward Amber. “I didn’t think the Amish ate out.”
“Sure they do. They come for special occasions like birthdays or simply to enjoy a break from home cooking on market day.”
At the nearest table, Phillip noticed that two of the children where dwarfs. “I’ve seen a disproportionately large number of little people since I’ve arrived.”
“The Amish, because of intermarriages, suffer from many inherited diseases such as the dwarfism that those children have.”
“For people who don’t believe in health insurance, some inherited diseases must place a huge burden on the families.”
“They don’t see it as a burden. They accept it as God’s will. They consider the children who are affected to be gifts from God.”
“As they are.”
“I’m glad you think so. I’ve noticed you are very good with the children who come to the clinic.”
He folded his arms across his chest. “I almost went into pediatrics.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I’ve wanted to be a family practice doctor since I was ten years old.” Memories of his unhappy childhood slipped out to taint the day.
“So young? Did something happen that pushed you in that direction?”
Staring into her sympathetic eyes, Phillip struggled with a difficult decision. Normally, he deflected questions about his early life. Plenty of people had looked down on him in the past. Deeply ashamed of the way he’d grown up and of his mother’s behaviors, he preferred to keep those times bottled away.
Amber was someone who made him want to share even the ugly parts of his life. There was something about her that made him believe he could trust her—made him believe that she would understand.
Was he right? Could he
take that chance?
Chapter Seventeen
Katie returned with their box lunches, giving Phillip a chance to ponder his options. Some inner part of him wanted to share everything about himself with Amber. He had guarded his past so closely for so long, he wasn’t sure he could talk about it now. It existed like a bad dream in the back of his mind.
With their lunches and ice-cold bottles of soda in hand, they left the Shoofly and started back toward the clinic. Flashing a sidelong glance at her, he half hoped she would forget about her question.
She hadn’t. After taking a sip of her cola, she went right back to the subject. “What happened that made you want to become a doctor?”
He walked in silence for several yards, unable to bring himself to talk about it.
She cast a worried glance his way. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”
He opened his mouth to say it was a personal matter he didn’t care to discuss. That wasn’t what came out. “When I was ten, my mother and her current boyfriend had a birthday party for me. I can’t remember his name. She had so many men in her life that they all run together in my head.”
Looking down, he expected to see repugnance. He saw only sympathy in her beautiful eyes. “I’m sorry, Phillip. I can’t imagine what that must have been like for you.”
Suddenly, it was as if the floodgates of his emotions broke open. His unhappy past came pouring out. “It was so hard. A new town every few months, a new ‘Uncle’ just as often. I was always the new kid at school who didn’t fit in, who wore dirty clothes. It didn’t pay trying to make friends because I knew I’d be leaving.”
“Yet you turned out to be a responsible, caring adult. You became a physician, which is no easy task.”
“That was due in large part to my stepfather. When I was fifteen, God brought a great guy into our lives. A man who saw how sad Mom was and helped her find a better life. Michael is a devout Christian. He showed me God’s blessings in my own life. He made me realize I didn’t have to shoulder my burdens alone. I still have a ways to go in being a good Christian, but I’m trying to get there. It was Michael’s generosity that allowed me to go to medical school, although I did receive some academic scholarships.”
