by Anthology
Unfortunately, for me, I’m caught in the middle of Lori and Gage’s mess. He talks to me, and so does she. After he’s finished, he looks at me, as if waiting for me to say something. But, what could I say? I’ve never been in a relationship. Then he becomes angry and that only confuses me more.
Then Lori calls me. And I hear the impatience in her brooding silence too, as if I’m the key to her problem. All I do is I listen, and wish things were different for Lori and Gage. Even though way, way down deep, I go back and forth between happiness over their rocky path and concern about the sadness I hear in Lori’s voice.
* * * *
One day, in a study room, tucked away in the back of the library, I find myself with Lori. For close to two months now, she’s been in Gage’s life and by extension mine as well. Christmas is around the corner and all I want to do is hide in a dark cave so I don’t have to see her with another man, even though he’s my brother.
A folded piece of paper slides across the table toward me. The slender fingers and low cut nails capture my attention longer than is appropriate because she belongs to someone else. I stare down at my notes and try to remember I’m here to study for a test. My heart is in my throat and I feel nervous perspiration pop up along my upper lip.
“Open it.”
I slowly unfold the paper, hoping I’ll see words of regret about her relationship with Gage, and her longing to be with me. But all I see are four short words: WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?
That is all she wrote. In block letters. My heart misses a few beats before it begins stuttering to find its rhythm. Lori catches me off guard when she quickly turns in her chair, freezing me in my seat. As a tear tumbles from her eye, I reach out a finger, lightly graze her cheek, and realize her skin feels softer than I’ve ever imagined it would.
“What’s wrong with me, Gabe?”
The loaded question hangs in the air, but I can’t open my mouth. Her low sobs tear through my indecisiveness and spur my actions, which surprise me. I grab her by her waist, awkwardly bringing us to a standing position and I fold her into an embrace. Her tears seep through the thin, cotton material of my crew-neck shirt, and all I want to do is comfort her.
“Nothing.” My brother is an asshole. “You’re perfect, Lori.”
As I mumble out the last word, her lips brush over mine, briefly and innocently. I’m too shocked to say or do anything beyond continuing to hold onto her. She doesn’t acknowledge the intimate moment as she rests her head on my chest with a long drawn-out sigh.
Now...
It became entirely too overwhelming to share a dorm room with my brother and to see her always there; her hair ties tossed on my desk, her NYU pullovers hung up on my side of the closet, and even her sneakers, which always found a way under my bed, became too much. Now when she visits him in the apartment, at least she can go into his bedroom, close the door, and my heart won’t go into overdrive.
I lean back against the stainless refrigerator watching her. We’ve moved from the couch into the small kitchen. She has glass of sparkling water she’s drinking while I’m nursing a beer. When she lifts the glass to her lips, the recessed lighting shines on her naked finger causing a low grunt to escape my lips. A week ago, Gage told me he and Lori would marry right after graduation which is a month away. There’s nothing that tells the world Lori is off the market. If she were mine, her ring would blind everyone who came near her.
“Do you ever think about what happened in the library room three months ago?”
I should have kissed you back. Maybe tell you how I can’t stop thinking or dreaming about you. “No,” I mutter, feeling my scar twitch. I tamp down the need to run my finger over it. Lying is easier and much better than the truth.
Something passes over her eyes. I can’t quite tell if it’s resignation, desire, hope, or another emotion. My imagination conjures up that it’s hope and so I latch onto it. I fantasize that she wished our kiss had switched from chaste to all consuming. My fabrication of a hopeful look from her passes because it’s all in my head. It’s replaced by her usual animated self.
Lori swallows the last of her water and jumps to her feet. “Let’s play a game.”
And because I’m a sucker, I don’t ask questions. She has ruled my life without knowing it for the last seven months.
“We’re both already late,” she tells me over her shoulder as we enter the living room. “I’m sure Kellie and Gage will understand.” She takes off her sweater and is beautiful in a pair of jeans that hug her body in all the right places and a simple yellow top. “How about Truth or Dare?” Lori suggests.
I nod my agreement, and when her finger points my way, I know she wants me to choose first. “Truth,” I request.
“How did you get your scar?”
I guess it’s time. Blowing out a breath, I’m transported back to Edgewoods High when Gage and I were a month away from turning fifteen years old. “Gage has always been a big flirt. One day, he started talking about a junior by the name of Cordelia Hines.” I look at Lori for any signs of jealousy. “Everyone knew she was dating Adam Wolfe, a senior who was kicked out of school. Anyway, Gage and Cordelia were in some club together, and soon they became hot and heavy.”
I shrug at Lori’s raised eyebrow. “You know Gage. He got a kick being with an older woman. Sometimes, he showed me notes she gave to him.” I chuckle at my memory. “I told him to be careful because that boyfriend of hers had a bad reputation.” My fists tighten. “But, Gage didn’t listen. He’s so carefree, too carefree, thinking he can do and be anything. As you can guess, Adam found out and he wasn’t happy about it. He roughed up Gage a little and told him to watch his back.” I angle myself toward Lori. “Thank God that was enough for Gage because I didn’t hear anything more about Cordelia, and before we knew it, it was the last day of our freshman year.” The day I’ll never forget. “I was taking out Gage’s stuff from his locker because he’d been sick all week.” My eyes leave her face and look at the gentle swaying leaves on the oak tree right outside our apartment. I feel her hand clutch mine as if she knows I’m about to tell her the grittiest part of my story.
“What happened next, Gabe?”
“I heard heavy footsteps behind me, then a voice I didn’t recognize called out, ‘Hey, McIntyre’. Before I knew what was happening, I was shoved into the locker and Adam slashed my cheek. I fell to the ground where he kicked me a couple times in the ribs telling me to stay away from his girl. Next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital, bandaged, and being told how I’d lost so much blood. My family came pretty close to losing me.”
Tears fall from Lori’s eyes and I smooth my hand over her wet cheek. “He thought you were Gage?”
“Yeah.” My voice is filled with pain. Clearing my throat, I tell her, “Gage took it the hardest. Even though he was my match, he couldn’t donate blood because he was sick. He kept saying how it was his job, as the oldest, to protect me. I tried to tell him it was all right, not to worry himself; but for a long time, Gage was inconsolable. It took a while, but we both got our heads straight. That’s what brothers do, at least us. We look out for each other. No way was I going to tell Adam who I really was.”
“Oh, wow,” Lori breathes out.
“Even before the incident, I was never good in large crowds, but going back to high school made me even more wary.”
“Did they pick on you?” she asks gently as if the question pains her.
I exhale and force a grin on my lips, hoping to lighten the mood brought down by my trip down memory lane. “Try dating in high school with this thing.” My finger ghosts over my scarred cheek. Girls were mean, talking behind my back, and guys made up nicknames. If Gage wasn’t with me, I probably would’ve decided homeschooling was easier, but my brother was my rock even getting into verbal and physical scuffles to defend me. “So, there you have it. That’s the truth.” I hope she’s heard enough but Lori looks at me as if I’m a puzzle she can’t figure out but wants to master. The cushio
ns in our couch shift with her weight and I feel her slightly parted, wet lips on my scar.
She pulls my chin to look down at her. “Gabe, any woman would be lucky to call you hers.”
I shrug, trying to distract myself from her kiss. “Um...” I’m trying my best not to stare or do anything dumb like tell how much I care for her. “Um, so, truth or dare?” I mumble. I’m glad she takes the hint to switch topics.
“Dare,” Lori says.
My lame brain grasp at straw because I was hoping she picked truth. Finally, a good enough dare comes to me. “Call the last person you spoke to and tell that person that he or she is sexy.” I know this will be hard for her to do because Lori is on the shy side.
She kind of snort-giggle, and I’m reminded of the little quirks I love about her. “No problem.” Lori reaches for her cell phone she laid on the living room table when she first arrived.
Something vibrates on my upper thigh. I take my phone from my pocket and I see her face flash on my phone’s screen. I swing back to look at her enjoying the rosy blush spreading across her cheeks as I hold the phone in my hand. I tap the answer button, and bring the cell to my ear. Her eyes are glued to mine. Lori’s heavy breathing rushes in my ear. Her chest moves rapidly up and down.
“You’re sexy as hell, Gabriel McIntyre.”
My own breathing is now labored.
“Gabe, any woman would be lucky to call you hers,” she repeats.
I hear the sincerity and truth in her words. Time stands still. There was another instance when time stood still for us.
Then...
I hear the howling, February wind outside as if it’s trying to uproot the oak tree in the front. Only this morning, the meteorologist predicted snow for the upcoming Valentine’s Day weekend. Beside me, Lori is sipping her hot chocolate while bringing me up to speed with what’s been going on between her and Gage. But the more she speaks, the more I think about pulling her into an embrace, kissing her, and telling her how I feel.
“On my way here, Gage texted me that he wouldn’t be coming tonight,” she announces.
I can’t help frowning. Any other woman would have some feeling about their boyfriend not coming home but there’s no emotion, not in Lori’s tone or on her face.
“So I’m staying the night,” she says with determination.
I look into her stormy eyes and feel a sense of dread.
“Um...” It’s been over two months since the one-sided kiss in the library, and I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve been purposely hiding from her. I no longer trust myself to be friends with my brother’s girlfriend because I want so much from her...none of which she has any interest in giving to me.
“I need your help. I think Gage is cheating.” She puts her cup down then scoots closer to me.
Her revelation doesn’t sit well with me. That’s not the brother I know. That’s not the man our father raised either Gage or me to be.
“I think he’s messing around with my roommate, Kellie.” Tears pool in her eyes and my anger boils thinking how much of an idiot Gage is. I don’t understand why my brother can’t treat Lori as the princess she is or why he doesn’t appreciate her.
“I’m sorry, Lori.” I rub her back, allowing myself to touch her for the first time in a while. The last time was about three weeks ago when they had a fight and she slept in my room. My arms were the ones she sought for comfort. Gage slept in his bedroom across the hall from us and didn’t seem to care Lori was in my bed.
“I don’t know what to do anymore.” She grabs my hand, jerking my attention to her face and back to the present. “Maybe I can change something about myself,” she mutters.
“No,” I rush out. When her hopeful eyes lift up, I tell myself to calm down. More sedately, I tell her, “No, don’t change anything.”
She’s perfection: her too loud, almost borderline unladylike, laughter and snorts; her love for cop shows because Lori is naturally inquisitive; and the way she’d rather wear a pair of Chuck Taylors than heels is cute. These and more are the things that tick Gage off about Lori. Yet, these are the exact things that endear her to me.
“You’re perfect,” I say because I can’t help it; not when she’s this close to me. She unleashes those soulful eyes on me. They suck me into her very being and bring out the protectiveness I’ve always felt about Lori. The unshed tears in them make me want to kick my brother’s ass and shake some sense into him.
“What’s wrong with me, Gabe?”
Again with this question. How should I know why he can’t see the rare jewel he has in her? How should I know why he’s choosing to sleep around with Lori’s friend? I can’t think of what to tell the woman of my dreams other than the flimsy words from the library.
“Nothing.” He’s just an asshole. “Absolutely nothing,” I whisper, pushing some of her hair from her face. My head drops then I plant a quick peck on her temple.
He can’t treasure you like I would. Gage won’t see you like I do. Be mine, Lori. As always, I keep those thoughts all buried. No need to bore her with what I’m sure she’d consider unwanted attention. Her eyes search mine and, for once, I wish God hadn’t made the mysteries our hearts hold hidden. I’d love to own the key to Lori’s heart, but that privilege belongs to my brother.
Her head rests on my shoulder and I can feel her warmth through my shirt. When her breath on my collarbone begins to tickle the tiny hairs there, I find myself aroused. I’m not sure why I turn my head in her direction, but she surprises me by brushing her lips against mine. The kiss is soft, tender, feather-like, and tentative...at first.
A low growl is pulled from my throat, and before I can talk myself out it, I grab her hips so she straddles me. My kiss is bruising; it’s rough, and it’s so good. I block out everything like Gage and her belonging to him. I just go for it. I kiss her with everything I have. I pour my feelings in the care my tongue takes with hers. My passion for Lori swells as my lips slant over hers, begging for more...for a wider entrance.
Which she gives me.
My hands slip up and under her shirt. She moans, grinding her lower half into mine, making me painfully hard. I dive for the spot I’ve dreamed about since September. I can’t help groaning while I suck, bite, lick, and taste her skin.
“Yes. Yes, Gabe.”
“Lori...”
“You, Gabe.” She peppers my jaw, my face, everywhere with kisses.
I can’t believe I’m actually getting a chance to feel Lori.
“Take me,” she groans out.
In the background, the landline rings, but the answering machine picks it up. No way am I losing a second away from Lori. She may come to her senses, realize it’s only me, and not the man who lives in her heart.
“I’ve waited so long—” she mutters.
Before she can say anymore, I cut her off by latching onto one of her soft lips. When she moans, I know that I’m doing something right especially when she pushes her body into mine. Unfortunately, not a minute goes by and the house phone rings again. Then it stops as it goes unanswered again. My cell begins to ring just as her head drops back allowing me to run my tongue down her neck.
It could be an emergency. With a final peck, I tell her, “I have to—”
“No,” she screams out in what I take as her frustration.
I pick up my phone, and Gage’s smiling face is right there. I blow out a frustrated breath and hand her the phone. I mean my brother probably is calling for Lori anyway, to apologize for his bad behavior.
“Gabe, wait...” she begins just as I push the cell into her limp hand.
After that, I don’t wait around to hear what they talk about, but just as I close the front door, I overhear her mumbled words, “Gage, we were almost about to...”
I take that as my cue to leave the apartment just so I don’t hear them reunite. As I close the door, I’m crushed by the guilt I feel for going after Lori and envy because she’ll always be only my friend.
Now...
“
You’re sexy as hell, Gabriel McIntyre.”
“Gabe, any woman would be lucky to call you hers,”
That’s what she just told me, and she looks like she means every word.
I can’t take it anymore, blurting out, before regret sinks in, “If I’m so lucky, Lori, why can’t I have a woman like you?”
“You—”
My phone pings with an incoming text message. I grab for it when Lori looks like her tongue is stuck to the roof of her mouth. I give her an apologetic smile and walk toward my bedroom. Gage’s text tells me to call him.
Great. Perfect timing. There’s music in the background. It sounds like the party to celebrate Gage’s acceptance into London School of Economics is in the full swing of things.
“What the hell do you want?” I ground out, still messed up in the head from what Lori told me.
“What’s with the third degree?” Gage yells.
“You said to call.” I can’t help the impatience bleeding through my words. My mind is on Lori, wondering if she’s second-guessing what just happened.
“Don’t talk to your older brother like that.” He chuckles and I can’t hear the heavy music any longer. “I just want to tell you to go for it.” Some of his words slur.
“What the hell are you talking about? Are you drunk? Lori, will—”
“It’s always Lori with you. I wonder why, Gabe?”
He doesn’t sound mad or jealous. He sounds resolved. But, he’s speaking in codes and I have no time or interest to play along with him when all I want to do is get back to the woman in our living room.
His next words are too jumbled for me to make out, and now I begin to worry. “I’m coming to get you.”
This is my brother. He may be marrying the woman I yearn for and treating her less than she deserves, but she loves him. If anything happened to him...
