by Anthology
I stand up and make my way out of the bathroom that was once so huge to me feeling like a child in it, now feeling as if it was a cracker box. The air is closing in on me and I am trying with all my might to hold myself together.
I sit on the bed and touch the comforter that has only been on our bed for a short time. I wonder how many times they have been together in my bed and I didn’t know.
Anderson stands in front of me wrapped in a towel. I look at him with a blank stare. He looks at me like he is answering to a parent, not the woman that he has been in love with, sharing a life with, for the last ten years.
I swallow and start to speak. “How long?”
“Why does that matter Kris?”
“You have lost your right to call me that you asshole. HOW long have you been fucking my sister?”
“Two years.”
She still hasn’t made her way out of our bathroom.
My breathing is hurting my chest and I can’t breathe. The feelings rushing over me are something I have never felt before. It is scary, yet it is freeing in a sick way.
“All these years, I thought it was me…”
He cuts me off. “We are just different people. I love you and I always will.”
I stood up gathering a second wind; a part of me that wasn’t going to just take this. “Fuck you Anderson. Love is not an affair. We took vows or did you forget? I have done everything for you. I have supported you, I have been there day and night, sick and well, through so much.”
He put his hands on his hips and looked at a loss for words. He had nothing to say to me after a decade of marriage.
“I’m getting my stuff packed and leaving. Can you at least take your whore and get out of the room so I can get ready to leave? When I get back from Costa Rica I will get my belongings and move out of the house. I can’t… no, I won’t be with a lying snake.”
I took a deep breath. “My family always said I was too good for you, and now I know they were right. Thank you.”
“Thank you for what?”
“For showing me your true colors. Thank you for proving to me what I already knew deep down. You will never be the man I deserve.”
He doesn’t try to touch me or comfort me, he just sits on the bed as I get up and make my way to my closet.
I walk right in front of Jennifer and spit out the only thing I can think of at the moment to tell her. “You can have him. You wanted him so badly that you would sleep with a married man, the husband of your “half sister”? You enjoy his sorry ass.”
Today was supposed to be the start of a honeymoon phase of our decade old marriage, but instead I am packing my bags alone.
Damn it.
****
Two days later~ Costa Rica
I’ve been on and off drunk since finding my cheating asshat of a husband in the shower with my half sister. My thoughts and feelings have been a roller coaster going through every emotion known to man. My cousin Carter accompanied me on my “honeymoon” since there was no way in hell the fucker was going to be allowed beside me. I feel like everywhere I am looking someone is mocking me or laughing at me. Carter assures me I am full of shit and imagining it. Carter keeps me laughing and relaxed the entire plane flight and is watching me like a guard dog ready to attack. We have only been close the last couple of years but I can’t remember my life without him in it. He held me and cried with me two nights ago when I ended up at his doorstep after finding Anderson in bed with Jennifer. He had his date over, Will, and sent him packing putting me first.
We were sitting under the massive tiki huts in front of the luxurious hotel that we would call home for the next week. I was already on my second piña colada and stealing the cherry out of his daiquiri without asking.
“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I knew something wasn’t right with that fuckwad from the moment I first shook his hand.”
“Yes I know, you have told me that before and about a million times since we boarded the plane and arrived. Shit Carter, I have had two days to sink this in. I keep going over every step, every detail, every clue that I missed.”
“Sweetie, there is no way you could have seen this coming. You are too pure, too...”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“You don’t expect bad things to happen. I on the other hand have been fucked over six ways to Sunday. I have had more men in my bed than you have sheets. You have only loved one man in your life.”
“That’s true. And you, Carter, are a hooker!” I laugh. Damn that felt good. He could always bring a smile to my face.
“Ok firecracker, no more of this mourning. Let’s do what we came to do. Take this week and soak in the sun, drink till we are numb, eat more lobster than any one person can handle and check out the insanely hot men that are covering the beaches.”
I raise my glass to toast him and he smiles. I love his smile and he never shows his teeth. This time he does and it makes me smile larger.
“To hot men, drinks and the sun.”
“And…” He gives me a parental look as if he is quizzing me to see if I had listened.
“And…”
“You getting laid and enjoying the hell out of it.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“I do… You need to feel some passion and utter lust, horny, can’t get enough, don’t think about tomorrow fucking.”
“We’ll see.”
He raises his glass. “Oh yes we will!”
“I get dibs though. If I call him first he is mine.”
I laugh almost spitting out my drink. This comment was total Carter. Only he could say something like this and make me laugh from my toes.
“Deal!”
****
Six days later
I spent the last five days getting shit faced. Carter dragged me out to the beach every day, ignoring my blatant regard to want to be allowed to pout, and kept me moving as if he was the tour guide. We went to dinner in the different restaurants that the hotel had. Carter worked the entire week on trying to cheer me up and bring me out of the depression that I slumped in and didn’t really care whether I was going to ever get out of.
Carter advised me we were going dancing tonight after dinner. He loved to dance and had yet to find a man that could keep up with him. I tried to resist telling him I was exhausted and just wanted to sit in my luxurious bath for one last time before leaving tomorrow. Carter wasn’t taking no for an answer—not that he ever did. He could convince a man to eat a red popsicle in a white suit.
Carter and I had been lying on the beach for several hours now. I nodded off a few times, but knew I was still being watched like a hawk and I didn’t have a care in the world. It had finally gotten silent which meant only one thing—Carter was asleep. He was sleeping like a baby as well. Lovely, we come to this amazing place and we both pass out from exhaustion; okay, maybe from the heat and liquor too.
I felt an object hit my ass and shot up ready to cuss someone out. “OUCH! What the hell?”
I met eyes with a man that had clearly already gotten a good look at me and liked what he saw. He was taking it all in and frankly I hadn’t been gawked at that way ever. I mean, Anderson had always said I was beautiful but never looked at me the way this man was. Or it could have been that I sat up without my bikini top tied. I had forgotten to tie it back up before I fell asleep. I grabbed for my top to cover myself not that it mattered because he had already seen the goods.
He finally looked up to my eyes when he saw me covered and that his peep show was over, biting his lip before smiling. “I’m sorry ma’am. I didn’t mean to hit you. My jackass friend over there was trying to beat me and I’m afraid you became the victim.” He pointed back to his friend that was standing 12 feet or so down the beach. He waved at me like he was holding himself accountable.
I felt like my tongue was the size of his massive arms and I couldn’t form a coherent sentence, instead just staring at him. I couldn’t get both my ha
nds around his biceps together. He clearly took damn good care of his body. Don’t get me wrong, my husband always looked good, but this was a totally different league. This wasn’t the preppy look that I had always liked, the Ivy League look. This was a man that could have any woman begging. God broke the mold with him. In fact I had never seen a man so beautiful.
He ran his fingers through his hair to get it out of his eyes waiting for me to talk.
“It’s… its okay. It just startled me from my nap.”
“Can I apologize over a drink later this evening?” I could see his eyebrows arch up while waiting for my answer. He had his hands on his hips and I could see his V shape, daring me to peek further down to where it would lead. And it looks like I still have a libido…
I stuttered. “That’s not needed. It’s not a big deal.”
He knelt down on his knee. “I feel really bad you got hit with a ball. I’d love to buy you a drink if you would reconsider.”
Already charming the panties off me.
“I’m good. Really.”
“Ok… Well, again I’m sorry.” He smiled genuinely and then walked back off to his friend. I watched every muscle on his body move reminding me how badly I needed to feel a man. I let out a giggle and turned to Carter lying beside me on his towel.
“It wouldn’t have killed ya to have a drink with that insanely gorgeous man” he said with one eye open.
“Did you see him? Why would a man so beautiful have any interest in me?”
“I’ve always said you were beautiful Kris. Shut the fuck up would ya? I hate it when you talk about yourself like that. Hell yes I saw that fine ass man, am I blind? I wish he played on my team I would be fighting you for him.” He winked at me.
“I’m going to head in and take a nap before we go to dinner.”
I start to gather my beach belongings and my book that I had been reading before falling asleep. I love a good romance book, but reading them now I am critical which was something that I never thought I would be. I thought I had it all and look how disastrous that ended.
“You definitely need a nap because I will have you out all night dancing!”
I leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek and then headed in through the white hot sand thinking of the man that gave me something to dream about.
I let my mind think for a minute what it would have been like to have a date with the man that I met on the beach. Would I be nervous? You could say that. I hadn’t dated for over a decade. I’m damaged goods as far as I’m concerned. I don’t think I could play it off. He was a total stranger.
After an amazing four course dinner with Carter in my strapless sun dress and wedged sandals, I waited at the lobby bar tapping my finger on my martini glass. He had to go up the room to grab his wallet that he had forgotten.
I am waiting for Carter turning to look every time I see someone walking into the bar area. He always seemed to be late. For God’s sake hurry the hell up.
And then I see him. Gorgeous man.
He walks up to me with a smile much wider than the one he wore earlier. His hair was styled and he was dressed in light shorts with a button up black shirt and flip-flops. He looks like he was born on the sand and was completely confident in his skin.
“We meet again.” He holds his hand out to take mine.
I meet his hand and say my name, “Kristina.”
“I know. I’m Dane.” He kissed my hand.
“How do you know my name?”
The bartender interrupts “Kristina Daniels, there is a phone call for you.”
“Excuse me for a minute.” I get up and walk down to the phone.
“Carter? Where are you?”
“I’m not going to make it back down tonight. I’m not feeling so good after dinner. I think I ate something bad…”
I smirked. “I doubt that is it….”
“Have a good time sweet pea. Show him that beautiful smile of yours and don’t over think things for once… You deserve to be happy…”
“Isn’t it too soon?”
“Maybe, maybe not. Just because you are having a drink with someone doesn’t mean you have to take them to bed, hell you’re not me.” We both laugh.
“But, do what your body and heart tells you. Don’t lead with your brain tonight. Just enjoy it.”
“Anderson...”
“Anderson was having an affair for two years baby girl. Two fucking years. Listen to me. You are not doing anything wrong. Don’t discuss with the guy any of that. Make small talk, have fun, and relax.”
“You’re right, you’re right.”
I feel this guilt in my gut but know in my heart it has been over for a long time between me and Anderson. I just never wanted to face it.
“Love you.”
“Love you more.”
I hung up the phone and made my way back to Dane taking a deep breath as I walked to him.
“Sorry. That was my cousin, apparently he is sick from something he ate.”
“That sucks. Been there done that.”
I look up at him not really sure where to start. Especially, since I’m fully aware of being set up by Carter.
He interrupts my inner battle. “You look beautiful.”
Hadn’t heard that for…“Thanks! You look pretty good yourself.”
He takes a seat next to me casually as if we had met a million times in this exact spot. He orders a drink and makes sure I don’t need anything.
“So… Dane where are you from? You vacationing or live here?” I had hoped that came out right because in my head I was thinking if you ask me just once to take me to bed I will be throwing my clothes off right this minute.
“I’m from a little town outside of Dallas called Commerce. I’m here for a short time with a friend of mine. I’m actually his best man in his wedding. Or was supposed to be his best man.”
“Was?” sounds like a story there. Is someone else living the hell I am?
“Ya, she took off and told him she didn’t love him enough to marry him. They have been dating since high school. Years! We were all shocked.”
“That’s too bad. I’m sorry to hear that.”
“I was too at first but now I realize everything happens for a reason.”
“I believe that too.”
He moved a little closer to me and our arms were on the bar almost touching. His arm was sculpted and had just the right amount of hair on it. Just his arm was turning me on.
“How about another drink and then leaving this bar and heading out for some dancing?”
“Sure.” I immediately replied. Maybe I should have thought about that for a minute but too late now. Just like Carter said, I’ve got to let go. Take a risk. What can it hurt?
We make small talk through another drink, and then another and we are both laughing and having a great time talking about absolutely nothing. He didn’t seem to question anything too personal respecting my privacy.
When we finished our last drink he took my hand to help me off the barstool.
“How about the beach? I would love to dance on the beach. You up for it?”
He nodded his head then led me out to the beach access. He didn’t let go of my hand and held it lightly slowly rubbing my thumb. It was sweet and innocent but was already getting me tingly. I guess that is what happens to a woman that hasn’t had intimacy for so long.
The sounds of the ocean crashing onto the shore were relaxing and serene and I couldn’t help but think it was setting the scene. The moon was bright tonight and I admired the stars covering the sky.
Dane stopped and looked at me taking in a deep breath. He moved his hand to my face and moved away the hair that was blowing around my face. “You are beautiful.”
I didn’t move but held my head steady.
“Are you not used to being told that?”
“No, I’m not.”
“That’s a shame babe.”
He leaned in and kissed me softly. His lips met mine and it brought out all t
he hunger in my body that had been kept under silence. It was as if I had never been kissed before. Not by a man that truly admired me.
As he tried to pull away I nipped at his bottom lip showing I wanted more.
He laughed and accepted my invitation.
I kissed him with all the passion that I had wanted to release for so long. I kept my eyes closed and never once did Anderson cross my mind. I felt totally entranced by this beautiful man that had now moved his body closer to mine and pulled me in tight. I could feel his chiseled chest. The grip of his arms wrapped around me felt like heaven.
I felt like I couldn’t get close enough to him and pushed my body in even closer to his tall frame. I could feel his hardness through this shorts and I fought the urge to move my hips against him.
He spoke up and led me to a little crevice on the beach that sat us a bit back for some privacy.
He sat beside me on the white sand and said my name. I loved the sound of it off his tasty tongue.
He ran his hand down my back and I was getting more and more turned on by the second. God help me.
I moved his face towards mine and kissed him, pushing my tongue into his mouth. I began my way up his shirt feeling his skin and knowing well aware I was falling into a hole and getting deeper and deeper. My body was speaking for itself. I wanted sex: Hard, can’t stop, I have to have it, without thinking sex. This man was put in my life at the perfect time and I was not going to pass this opportunity up.
He pulled his shirt off and leaned me back kissing me in the sand. He put his arm under my neck to keep me out of the sand. I watched as he reached down to undo the top of his pants and lightly skimmed me with his form that was showing through his shorts.
“Are you sure you want this?”
I reached under my dress and pulled my thong off sliding it down my feet. I nodded my head.
“I have never been more positive about anything in my life.”
He took that as a queue and started to kiss my neck. My eyes rolled back in my head from the touch of his lips on my body. He trailed his tongue down my neck, then pushing my dress and bra down just enough to lovingly lick. He was moving down my body like he had it memorized, as if he had touched it before.
