by Terri Reed
Her defenses rose. “Hey, that’s not fair. I didn’t know Dahlia was a criminal at the time and I certainly didn’t know about Escalante. You didn’t trust me enough to tell me why you wanted me to back off.”
“Would it have made a difference?” he asked harshly.
She opened her mouth to respond, and then paused.
Searching her heart, she asked herself the same question.
Investigating, pushing for answers was an innate part of her makeup. She lived and breathed journalism. Since childhood she’d never accepted a simple answer or a “because I said so” from her parents and she certainly didn’t accept such answers in adulthood. There was always a deeper meaning, a hidden motivation that needed to be brought to the light.
Was that why she’d pursued questioning Dahlia Sainsbury? Had she sensed the other woman’s duplicity? Or had Colleen’s need to push for answers on the relationship between Dahlia and Alessandro stemmed from some more personal reason?
She had to admit to herself that for the first time in a very long time she wanted to see where a relationship with a man would lead. She’d dogged Dahlia because Colleen had needed to know what obstacles lay in the way.
“In some ways, yes. It would have made a difference.” She could see that now. “I wouldn’t have let my emotions control my mouth.”
He ran a hand through his dark hair, leaving grooved tracks. “You’re not making sense.”
“I wanted to know about the nature of the relationship between you and Dahlia.”
“Why? Why must you know everything?”
She gritted her teeth. Time for a grain of truth. If for no other reason than her own need for honesty. And a hope that maybe…maybe a relationship between them might work out. “I was jealous of her. You and I had…well, gotten along pretty good and Holly had told me about you saving her and Jake and I just didn’t want to make a fool of myself by letting my attraction to you be known without finding out if you were involved with someone else.”
He stared at her for a long time, his dark eyes unreadable. He shook his head, a grim set to his jaw. “This is my fault. I let my feelings for you cloud my judgment and my desire to protect you backfired.”
She melted inside. He had feelings for her. What she’d been experiencing hadn’t been one-sided. “You did protect me when Dahlia tried to poison me.”
He closed his eyes for a second. When he lifted his lids, his dark eyes were flinty. “I didn’t want you to become caught up in all this. I thought your snooping would get you hurt. I never considered your job would cause such problems…. I should have stayed far away from you.”
A flash of hurt seared her to the quick. “Snooping? I’m not some busybody out to get the juicy gossip. I’ve done a lot of good with my investigations and my reports. I’m good at what I do. I deserve your respect, not your disapproval.”
His gaze hardened and she shivered. “This time, your ‘investigating’ has put an innocent child in danger. My child. There’s no way to undo what you’ve done. You tell me, how could God be pleased at that?” He spun away and left her standing there. Alone.
The conspicuous glances of the Vances brought a heated flush to her cheeks.
Guilt swamped her. She could only pray that God would cover her mistake and keep little Mia safe.
Colleen stared at the tall broad back of Alessandro and a fresh ache throbbed where his angry words had settled in her soul. He’d shut her out, effectively closing off any chance for a future together.
A gray-haired man wearing green scrubs and wire-rimmed glasses stepped into the room. The Vances moved around him and Colleen moved closer but stayed on the fringe of the semicircle. She wasn’t one of them. She was an outsider, an interloper to the family.
“Surgery went well. He’s in recovery. The bullet went through his shoulder. He lost a lot of blood so he’ll be weak for a while, but he’ll be fine.”
“Praise the Lord,” breathed Lidia.
“When can I see him?” asked Alessandro.
The doctor blinked at him, clearly taken aback by Alessandro and Tomas’s striking resemblance. “Oh, you can come now.”
Sam stopped Alessandro. “Hey, just to let you know, cousin, you’re obviously no longer a suspect in the mayor’s shooting.”
Alessandro’s mouth quirked. “Grazie.”
“Yeah, well, it would have been nice if you’d let me know what was going on.”
Alessandro shrugged. “I’m afraid I operate on a need-to-know basis.”
Colleen’s heart bumped in her chest. He’d felt she needed to know how he felt. Why?
Sam nodded. “Now what?”
“After I see my brother’s all right for myself, I return to Europe. I have unfinished business.”
Colleen stifled the urge to ask if he were going after Escalante or to protect his child. Why didn’t he tell his family of his little girl? It seemed so wrong to keep her a secret.
Sam frowned. “You can’t leave town. You and Tomas are the only ones who know what Escalante looks like. Tomas won’t be able to give us a description for a while. I need you to sit with a sketch artist.”
“Don’t have time. I’ll do it in Europe and fax you a copy.”
Sam grunted. “Fine. Just make it a priority.”
“Will do.” Alessandro started forward.
Colleen stepped into his path. She had one last shot at making things right between them. They deserved a chance. She needed to know why he’d told her of his feelings. “We’re not done. I’ll wait for you.”
“Don’t.” A hard, implacable expression settled on his handsome features, warning her not to push. “Goodbye, Colleen.”
Her heart cracked in her chest at the finality in his tone. Their relationship had died before it had even had a chance to be explored. The first man in her life to make her question how she defined herself was walking away.
She’d so been afraid of loving and losing that she’d never really allowed herself to feel. But now she felt all the pain and sorrow that losing could bring.
And she hadn’t even told Alessandro how deep her feelings ran. She hadn’t realized how deep those feelings ran until the moment it was too late.
Not knowing what to do now, Colleen looked around the room at all these people she knew and loved, but she felt so alone.
She hugged her arms to her chest and fought back tears. Lidia broke away from the others and put an arm around her. “Been quite the day.”
Nodding, Colleen leaned into the older woman’s embrace. “I’d like to go home now.”
“Of course, dear.” Lidia steered her over to Sam. “Can you arrange for Colleen to go home?”
“No problem, Aunt Lidia.” He softened his voice and snagged Colleen’s hand. “I’ll have Becca take you home, Colleen. Though I would like you to come to the station in the morning to wrap up the investigation on Neil O’Brien’s murder. With Alessandro’s testimony and Escalante’s reappearance, I’m sure you’ll be officially cleared of any wrongdoing.”
“Gee, thanks,” Colleen muttered, still a little ticked that Sam would have thought for even a second that she’d had anything to do with any murder. But logically she knew he was just doing his job.
As she’d been doing hers. And would continue to do.
Within a few minutes, Becca and Colleen were headed across town in Becca’s sedan.
Colleen leaned her head against the cool window and thought of Alessandro. Would he face Escalante again? If so, who would survive?
The drama was getting to her. She wished they were ordinary people with ordinary lives. Then maybe…maybe she and Alessandro could have worked out.
She wondered how Becca did it, how she kept focused without needing a relationship.
“Do you ever wonder if it’s worth it?” Colleen asked.
“Worth what?”
“Being married to your career. Putting the job first. You and Sam didn’t work out. Was it because of your careers?”
Becca
glanced at her. “Partly. We do better as partners than as a couple.”
“Do you think it’s possible to have a successful career and be part of a couple?”
“Sam does it. He and Jessica are great together. She understands the job and helps Sam deal with the stress. And when they married, Sam became the family man he wanted to be with Amy, his stepdaughter, and now the twins.”
“You don’t want a family? Because of the job?”
Becca shook her head. “No. I raised one family already when I took care of my siblings after our parents died. I have no desire to do it again. But Sam proves it’s possible to be a good family man and a good police officer.”
Colleen nodded, considering what Becca had said.
But Colleen’s job had endangered Alessandro’s child. How could she and Alessandro ever move past that?
Regret weighed heavily on her conscience. If only he’d trusted her enough to tell her what was going on.
But then again, she hadn’t exactly done anything to earn that trust. No, she’d kept pushing for answers.
Becca pulled the sedan to the curb outside of Colleen’s parents’ home. The house was ablaze with lights. The door opened and Liza and Frank Montgomery rushed out, concern etched on their faces. Colleen’s heart swelled with love for her parents. “Thanks, Becca,” she said as she opened the door.
“Sure. Don’t forget to come to the station tomorrow morning. It won’t take long.”
“Okay.” Colleen closed the car door and hurried into her parents’ embrace. Her heart squeezed tight. As much as she valued her parents’ love, the arms she wished were holding her were probably already on their way to Europe.
Please, God, keep Alessandro safe. And ease the ache in my soul.
THIRTEEN
The next morning, Colleen awoke with a heavy heart. She’d dreamed of Alessandro, of his smile and tender concern. She’d dreamed he’d come back to her, declaring his love and taking her into his arms, making her feel special and safe.
But with the sunshine came reality. Alessandro was gone and she had to get on with her life without him.
Al Crane, her editor, would want her story ASAP. For the first time in her career she didn’t look forward to putting to paper what she knew of the events that had transpired during the past few weeks.
She dragged herself out of bed, showered and dressed. After firing up her laptop, she sat staring at the blank screen. Her mind refused to think, to conjure up the words that usually flowed freely from her brain to her fingertips.
Coffee. She needed coffee.
Downstairs she encountered her mother sitting at the kitchen table, her Bible open and her study guide spread out before her.
“Morning, Mom.”
Liza looked up and smiled, her green eyes lighting up with pleasure.
“Good morning, sweetheart.” She opened her arms wide.
Colleen leaned into her mother’s embrace and breathed in the faint scent of herbal shampoo in Liza’s graying blond hair. “Where’s Dad?”
“He’s gone to see Max. With what you told us last night, your father figures he should offer his advice and support to the mayor.”
Colleen made a noise of acknowledgement as she stepped out of the embrace. When she’d arrived home last night, her parents had grilled her like beef on the barbecue.
Frank Montgomery had ranted about the incompetence of the police for letting Escalante escape a second time, while Liza had tried to calm him down. Liza was always trying to keep Frank’s blood pressure from rising. She had no intention of becoming a widow because of a heart attack just yet.
Colleen had shared with them Alessandro’s true role in hunting down Escalante. She’d listened with wry amusement as her parents had claimed they knew all along he was a good boy. He was related to the Vances, after all. And the Vances and Montgomerys stuck together.
Not this Vance relative. He’d gone back to Europe.
Colleen had been wiped out emotionally by the time her head hit the pillow.
The strong smell of roasted coffee beans teased Colleen’s senses, reminding her of why she’d come downstairs. She grabbed a white porcelain mug with a picture of a grinning calico cat on it from the rack of mugs hanging on the wall. She poured herself a full cup of steaming coffee and then sat down in the empty chair across from her mother.
Liza arched a brow. “You don’t look as though you slept well.”
“I didn’t.” Colleen knew there were dark circles under her eyes, but she’d rather ignore them.
“Why don’t you go back to bed? I don’t think anyone would fault you for needing to rest,” Liza said.
Colleen shook her head. “Can’t. I have a story to write.”
“But you’re stalling. I know you. You never sit down with me in the morning. You’re always too busy with the next project. So why does this story have you looking so down? Escalante’s return should make good fodder for the Sentinel.”
Colleen sighed. “I know. And it will. This could be the story of a lifetime. It’s just…I’ve uncovered some very sensitive information. I want to do the responsible thing.”
“Which is?” Liza probed.
Colleen ran a hand through her tousled hair. “I’m so confused, Mom. I used to believe the public had a right to any and all information I could find on any given subject. But what if that information puts someone’s life in jeopardy?”
“That is a dilemma. Only you can decide if what you know will make a difference for the greater good.”
“The people of Colorado Springs need to know about Escalante’s return and his escape.”
A knowing look entered Liza’s eyes. “But you’re not struggling with Escalante, are you?”
Colleen pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. Were her feelings for Alessandro so transparent? “No.”
“Alessandro?”
Apparently she was wearing her feelings on her sleeve. “Yes.”
Liza reached across the table and took Colleen’s hand. “Honey, I love you and I will always be proud of you no matter what you do. More than anything, I want you to be happy.”
Colleen squeezed her mother’s hand and fought back the sudden tears burning behind her eyes. “I love you, too, Mom.”
“I know you do, dear.” Liza gave her an indulgent smile. “Love is a very complicated emotion. Yet it’s also simple. That’s why God’s word says the greatest thing we can do in life is love others.”
Colleen nodded, not sure where her mother was going with this conversation.
“Do you remember when you found that stray cat at the schoolyard when you were, what, ten?”
“Yes, ten.” The cat had shown up at school and wouldn’t leave her alone. It had waited outside the school doors until she appeared every day for a week. She’d finally decided to bring it home.
Her parents had not liked the idea of a stray animal in their house. Who knew what kind of diseases the cat carried? Plus the expense. Her parents had insisted she take it to the pound. She’d cried for three days.
“Do you remember what you did?” Liza asked.
Colleen grinned. “I went to the pound and bought the cat with the money I’d earned from cleaning the bathrooms and washing the cars.”
“That’s right. You loved that cat and weren’t going to let anything stand in the way of your having it.” Liza chuckled. “I still remember you carrying that scrawny bag of bones into the house with a huge triumphant smile as you announced that Pipsqueak wasn’t a stray any longer. He was bought and paid for.”
Colleen giggled. “Daddy about had a coronary right then.”
“Yes, he did. But we all got used to him. And that cat loved you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an animal so devoted to a human before or since.”
A nostalgic pang of sadness strummed through Colleen. Pipsqueak had lived a long life in cat years and had died peacefully in his sleep at the foot of Colleen’s bed several years ago.
Liza dipped her head to capture Co
lleen’s gaze. Colleen pushed away her sadness from the loss of her cat and concentrated on her mother.
“My point is, God brings love into our lives and we have a choice to make. We either give love back and fight for the health of that love or we let it go. But whatever choice we make, it is our choice.” Liza withdrew her hand. “Now, off with you to write the story of a lifetime and then try to get some rest.”
Pondering her mother’s words, Colleen headed back upstairs and sat at her computer. For several long, agonizing moments she just sat. Then she forced herself to start, every word wrenched out, slicing through her.
It should be easy to write of Escalante’s return and escape, but to do the story justice, she needed to tell it all. Her mind rebelled against revealing any of the events that’s she’d witnessed that involved Alessandro, Tomas and Lidia Vance.
But the story had to be written. The world needed to know, and it was her job to inform them.
Only you can decide if what you know will make a difference for the greater good.
Doubts and questions swirled in her head. Would the public benefit from the information about Alessandro, Tomas and Lidia? Would the information change the world for the good? Or would it just sell more newspapers and in the process endanger their lives?
Her e-mail message light flashed, giving her an excuse to delay the inevitable. She clicked on the first message. Al, reaming her out for not reporting in and for not giving him a story.
She couldn’t put her boss off much longer, so she picked up the phone and dialed the Sentinel. A knot twisted in her stomach while she held the phone away from her ear as Al yelled, demanding to know where her story was. Didn’t she realize the enormity of Escalante’s return?
“How did you know about that?” she asked, puzzled more by the fact that she wasn’t upset that she’d been scooped than she was about who’d leaked the information.
“I have my sources. I want your story on my desk by noon. We’ll headline it in the evening edition.”
She should be jumping with joy to have a byline on the front page, but she couldn’t even muster a little hop of satisfaction. “I’ll do what I can.”
