by Nana Prah
Holding her made the world fall away. He waited for her tears to abate as his heart broke for the young woman she’d been.
“Even the steadiest person can fail you.” She tilted her head up. “With every child I lost, my world crumbled.”
The pain in her eyes too much for him to endure, he lowered his lashes as he took a fortifying breath. By the time he opened them, her head rested on his chest.
“Conrad supported me the whole time. I knew I’d married a good man, and his actions proved it. I wanted to love him so much that I made myself believe I did. But it was a lie.”
He held her a little tighter.
“Within three months of the twins’—” she swallowed “—deaths, he divorced me. And less than two months later he was remarried.”
“Bastard.”
She looked into his face, the shadow of a smile tilting the corners of her lips upward. “Exactly. But it’s not even the worst of it. The woman ended up having twins. Perfectly healthy.”
The sobs shook her body. Her gut-wrenching tears caused Dante’s own throat to throb with pain as he cried over the woman who’d lost her children.
* * *
Lanelle’s legs no longer supported her. As she sagged against Dante, without warning her feet left the ground. Her gaze rose up to witness his tear-filled eyes. Too wrung out to command him to put her down, she snuggled against his chest.
She opened her eyes as he settled her onto his lap once he’d sat on a park bench. How long had he walked holding her?
Placing a finger under her chin, he lifted her head to look at him. “I don’t have the power to take away your pain or to bring back your children. If I could I would. I promise you.”
She believed him. Needed him. Curling her arms around his neck, she clung, wishing he’d never let her go. For the next few minutes, he didn’t. She pulled away first.
Shouldn’t she feel self-conscious after having cried her heart out? Especially over something that had happened over five years ago. She should be over it by now, or at least better able to control her emotions.
Lanelle waited for the shame to hit, but it never came. Climbing off his lap, she stood and tested her weight on her feet. Steady.
He got up, ensuring she didn’t fall by holding her shoulders.
“Thank you for listening.”
His gaze held hers. “Anytime.”
With a hand to her stomach, she summoned a grin. “I’m exhausted. Are you ready to go back?” She hoped the question didn’t sound as curt as it came out, after he’d spent the night listening to the drama that used to be her life.
“Of course. Let’s go to the main street and get a taxi.”
She frowned. How many times in her life would she be in this glorious city? “It’s a lovely night. I’m not too tired to walk.”
He led her in the direction from which she presumed they’d come. At one point he held out his hand to her. Lanelle wanted more from him. She sought the strength his body could provide, so she looped her arm around his waist and laid her head against him.
Draping an arm around her, he whispered, “Did you name the babies?”
Lanelle brought her head up at the question. His free hand cupped her cheek and returned her head to his shoulder. “The first one was a boy. Conrad and I went back and forth on it, but we eventually decided to name him Dominic Conrad Murphy.”
“You kept your ex’s last name?”
Lanelle shrugged, choosing not to explain she’d done it to avoid the notoriety of her parents’ names. She didn’t want him to recognize her for the heiress status she possessed, so she kept her family’s surname to herself.
Lanelle didn’t seek anything more from him than what he’d offered her tonight, but she liked that he didn’t know her true identity. If any of what they shared was real, then it would be because he liked her, not her parents’ empire or her own millions.
Settling on a half-truth, she said, “It pissed him off to no end when I told him I’d keep his last name, so I couldn’t resist. Toshia egged me on the whole time.”
Dante chuckled. “What about the twins?”
“Girls. We didn’t discuss what we’d name them. But when I held them in my arms as they took their dying breaths, I named one Angela and the other Destiny, figuring they’d go to heaven and be the angels they’d been destined to become.”
He squeezed her closer as they walked.
“Do you think you’ll have children?”
She knew Dante wanted kids, if only to pass on his and Mr. Calvano’s legacy. After seeing how he interacted with Vanessa and Ryan, she’d realized that the need to bestow love onto others spurred his decision, too. It would be better for him to find out now rather than later. “I... I can’t.”
“Because it would be too hard?”
At her attempt to pull away, he didn’t stop her. He did brace her shoulders in a gentle grip and turned her to face him.
“It would be impossible,” she admitted, leaving out that it might kill her if she lost another child.
A step backward stopped his hands from burning her skin. She resumed walking toward the hotel, eyes dry and head held high. She spoke before he could ask any more questions. “That’s life, right? It goes on.” Even when you think it’s come to an end and you no longer want it to.
Over the years, the pain had dulled as her heart hardened. Until Dante’s impromptu arrival. He’d somehow melted the glacier bit by bit. What kind of woman would she be if she limited him from procreating? He was too good of a man not to pass his genes on. And what about his company and the Calvano name?
“Why? What did the doctors say happened to the twins?”
Although tempted to not tell him the truth, she figured he deserved to know. “Conrad had the rhesus, or what is commonly called Rh, factor in his blood, while I don’t,” she stated clinically. “I’m Rh negative. When my first child was born, they discovered he was Rh positive. I was given a vaccine called RhoGAM so I wouldn’t produce antibodies against the blood of the next baby if he or she inherited Conrad’s positive factor.”
His nod prompted her.
“They say it’s extremely rare, but the vaccine didn’t work. I produced antibodies. The twins were both Rh positive and—” she tapped her chest “—my own body attacked them, making them so severely anemic they were born too weak to survive. Of course, we didn’t learn any of this until they were struggling for their lives. Not even Conrad’s blood donation helped.”
Understanding seemed to dawn when he sucked in air through his mouth.
“Yes, it’s the reason Conrad left me. The chances of us having a healthy child together weren’t good.” In some ways she didn’t blame her ex for dumping her. And yet she’d lost respect for him for doing it.
“But you could’ve had children other ways. Surrogacy. Adoption.” He flailed his hands. “I don’t know. Something.”
She knew all of that. When Conrad had made it clear that he was leaving her because he needed children from his seed, she’d offered to go the surrogacy route. He’d refused, claiming to be too much of a traditionalist, and that any child he had would be carried by its mother, not a stranger. His words had stabbed her in the heart.
Of course, if Dante was Rh negative, she could deliver ten healthy children if they wanted, but a bone-chilling fear kept her from spilling the words. What if he left her brokenhearted one day?
She needed him to let her go so she wouldn’t long for him. For the family he might be able to give her. For his love. She wanted the safe and protected life she’d built since Conrad left, with no risk of losing what she held most dear. Angling her head, she hit him with “Aren’t you the same person who wants biological children to pass down the Calvano name and legacy to? Conrad wanted the same. From his wife’s womb.”
“But—”
She stopped him with a finger to his lips. “It’s okay. Everything happens for a reason, right?” She’d spent the last few years trying to convince herself of it and didn’t need him feeling guilty for wanting what she wouldn’t give him. “Let’s get back.”
They walked the rest of the way in silence. The beauty of the city’s nightlife had left her sight. At her room, her hands shook as she fumbled with the key card and slid it into the slot. With the green light and accompanying click, she pushed the door open.
She bit the inside of her cheek as she regarded him. “Thanks for the walk and listening ear.”
“Can I give you a kiss good-night?”
Her stomach tumbled at both the question and the humility with which he’d asked it. What would be the point? None, other than pure pleasure.
“Please?” Would he always be able to break her down?
In response she stepped toward him. He met her the rest of the way. Without laying a hand on her, he leaned down and touched his lips against hers in what she could only describe as a butterfly kiss. So light and fleeting it barely existed. He removed his mouth and repeated the action twice. “Those are for the three children who will forever be in your heart.”
The next kiss gave her enough time to respond to the pressure, but it flittered away too soon. “For the children you should’ve been blessed to bear without the torment of not knowing if they’ll survive,” he whispered.
Placing his hands on her hips, he returned to the place she needed him most. This time the kiss seared her as he teased her lips. When she opened to him, she expected him to deepen it.
He released her lips and stood erect, gazing down at her. What had that one been for? She’d never know because he unwound her arms from his neck without telling her.
“Good night, Lanelle. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call. I’ll always be available for you.”
What she wanted was for him to extend the kisses into something more. Not trusting her ability to speak, she raised her hand and waved. Repressing the urge to rush into his arms, she utilized all her energy and stepped backward into the room.
Once inside she caught her breath, overwhelmed by the strength of his presence. How would she be able to get him out of her system now? For his sake, she had to. She would.
* * *
Lanelle may never be able to bear kids. My children. Her reaction during their first date made sense. He’d told her he wanted children. They would carry on Mr. Calvano’s legacy. Dante covered his face and forced his head back. What had he done? He’d hurt her. Badly.
The carpet absorbed his weight as he paced. No wonder she’d stayed the hell away from him. In no uncertain terms he’d told her they had no future because of his need for children.
Would she be willing to have a child with a surrogate or adopt? From the way she’d reacted when he’d brought it up, the options didn’t seem viable to her. Or had that been a residual reaction from the influence of her selfish ex-husband?
Could he be with Lanelle, knowing his business might no longer end up in his direct line of descent?
He had nephews and nieces he could leave it to if they showed interest. If the worst occurred, he could find a protégé, as Mr. Calvano had. But he didn’t want anyone going through the same type of hell in his legal battle with the Calvano family. People, especially family, tended to get greedy when it came to money.
Dante had sent up a prayer of gratitude for Mr. Calvano’s decision to choose him as a successor every day since his first trip to Italy.
Would having only Lanelle in his life be enough? Did he need children of his flesh and blood to fulfill him? These were questions he never thought he’d ask because he’d always presumed he’d have a family.
This strong emotion, which he recognized as love, never wavered. Everything about Lanelle made him happy. Even her obstinate nature, although annoying when directed against him, showed that she could stand her ground at all times. She was someone who’d always have his back without succumbing to the needs of others over his.
Of course, she’d probably put her own first. Was she the type of woman to compromise? And most important, was she honest? One thing he could never tolerate was someone who thought him fool enough to lie to him. He wouldn’t have it. He had so much to learn about her.
First he had to figure out if he’d be wasting both of their time by getting involved with her. As he pulled back the reins on the team of horses storming off with his thoughts, it hit him that maybe she had no interest in him.
The lingering heat from her sweet lips didn’t lie, yet perhaps she sought his comfort only after such an arduous admission.
He couldn’t spend all night contemplating Lanelle and her ways. Tomorrow would be soon enough to come up with solutions after a good night’s sleep.
Chapter 17
Entering the town of Carrara always infused Dante with a natural high. Unable to sit in the vehicle for a moment longer, he ordered the driver to pull over as they crested a hill. When the van he’d chartered to pick them up from the airport stopped, Dante hopped out. He inhaled as much fresh air into his lungs as he could tolerate. If not for the fact he’d pass out, he had no desire to exhale.
“I didn’t think he’d be this bad,” Vanessa said.
Dante ignored her, continuing to revel in the place bringing peace to his being. He searched the small group. The other balm to his soul stood in the opposite direction. He went to Lanelle and bumped her shoulder with his. “What do you think?”
“It’s wonderful. Serene and quaint.”
He pointed to one of the quarries in the distance. “We get our marble from there.”
At her nod, he wondered why he hadn’t kissed the long, elegant curve of her neck last night. She’d returned to being aloof when he’d seen her in the morning, and with the preparations to leave Milan, they hadn’t had a chance to talk.
Lanelle turned to meet his gaze. She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it without saying a word as they stared at each other. He inched toward her, finding her magnetic pull too strong to resist.
Ryan’s voice intruded as he tugged Dante’s pant leg. “Are you sure I can’t climb the rocks?”
Dante straightened with a frustrated growl before leveling his nephew with the strictest look he could muster. “No, you cannot.” He enunciated each word. “That’s my final word on the subject, so stop asking. Let’s get back in the van.”
The boy picked up a stone and threw it. “You mean we aren’t there yet?”
Placing an arm around Ryan’s small shoulders, Dante guided him to the vehicle. “I wanted to show you the town from a vantage point. What do you think of it?”
Ryan shrugged, obviously having no opinion on the matter.
Vanessa joined them. “It’s cool, but I don’t see why you go on and on over it.”
Dante’s hand went to his chest as he gasped. “The marble extracted from here is exquisite.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mom and Dad are waiting for us. Is it just me, or have they been all lovey-dovey since we got to Italy?”
Dante looked at Lanelle. “Must be something in the air.”
They trooped into the van and rode the short distance to town. At the hotel, his family disembarked from the vehicle and rushed out of the sweltering heat into the building. Dante lingered behind. Prior to Mr. Calvano’s death, he’d stayed with him at his villa. A heaviness settled in Dante’s chest at the acute sense of loss for the man who’d helped carve him. He ducked his head as he wiped a tear at the memory of his mentor and Italian father.
Lanelle stepped beside him. “Are you okay?”
He sniffled, then cleared his throat. “I’m fine.”
Then the unexpected happened. She opened her arms to him. He’d take any opportunity to be n
ear her, so he held her close. Similar to what he’d done for her last night, she rubbed his back. “You miss Mr. Calvano.”
Dante inhaled the exotic, floral scent he now identified with Lanelle. Why hide the truth? “Yes.”
After a few more seconds of appreciating her soothing fingers, he slid his hands down her back to her hips before summoning the strength to release her. “Thank you.”
With a quick nod and a pat on his shoulder, she turned to join the others inside the exclusive hotel, making him fall deeper in love as she went.
* * *
After a sumptuous lunch of ravioli stuffed with mushrooms and beef, topped with what had to be the best marinara sauce Lanelle had ever tasted, she skipped the nap everyone else, except for Dante, decided to indulge in. He’d slipped out of the hotel for a business meeting.
She sighed, wishing she’d gone with him. With each minute they spent together, she had more difficulty keeping whatever they had platonic.
Rather than dwell on not being able to keep such a fantastic man in her life, she made a work call to the United States. As much money as she had to her name, she hated spending it on roaming charges. When her personal accountant picked up, she didn’t mince words. “What have you found out?”
He’d been shadowing the forensic accountant. “The guy you hired is a genius. He picked up a few discrepancies we didn’t. The hospital released the bids only yesterday, so we’re going through them.”
Lanelle scooted to the edge of the brocade-upholstered seat. She’d had to get tough with the president of the board and had insisted they release the bids to her accountant immediately. The man wasn’t stupid; he knew that if he angered her, the chances for any further funding from the Astacio family would be cut off. “Let’s hope we get the evidence we need to find the culprit. I hate thinking that someone could’ve gotten away with stealing all of that money.” My money.
Her gut screamed that procurement fraud had occurred right under her nose and she’d been too busy to see it. Not for a moment did she regret helping her father, but she should’ve paid more attention to the project of her heart.
