“I appreciate that you’ve decided on a direction for your professional future.” Alice took off her glasses and motioned between Grace and Ethan. “But is there a future between the two of you?”
“We’ll always be connected through the baby,” Ethan said. That made them sound like nothing more than strangers living in the same apartment complex and connected by a common street address. He was definitely excelling at saying the wrong things today. He should probably shut his mouth now.
“People got married in your day, Mom, because of a baby. But it’s not like that anymore.” Grace pulled her hand away from him. “We don’t need a piece of paper to be committed.”
“Then you are committed to each other?” Alice pressed.
Ethan coughed and lifted his coffee mug to his lips. It was empty like his comeback.
“We’re committed to doing what is best for the baby,” Grace said.
Alice stood up and picked up the lunches she’d prepared for Frank and herself. From her brisk movements, Ethan knew she hadn’t liked what she’d heard. She’d wanted more for her daughters. He’d seen her pride and joy at Sarah Ashley’s wedding. She wouldn’t want Grace raising a baby alone. She wouldn’t want Grace alone.
Alice walked to the door and turned. “In our day, love brought us together and love kept us together. Love was the bond.”
But love didn’t provide for a child. Love didn’t buy diapers, pay the mortgage or offer security.
Frank slowly slid his chair back from the table. He crossed to Grace, kissed her cheek and squeezed her shoulder. He whispered he loved her before following Alice down the hallway toward the garage.
Ethan marveled at the tight father-daughter bond between Grace and Frank.
Would he be the same with his own child? Would he fail when his child needed him the most? He’d never really questioned how Big E had raised them, but he wasn’t certain Big E’s parenting methods would work for a daughter or even a son not growing up on a ranch. He’d never wanted to raise his children on a ranch. He’d given up that lifestyle when he’d gone to college, determined to be a vet. Or more precisely, he’d given up the Blackwell Ranch life. But would his upbringing shape the father he’d be? How could it not. He wondered what Big E’s reaction would’ve been if his daughter had come home pregnant and unmarried? As it was, Big E disowned his daughter over an argument that Ethan still didn’t know the exact details of.
What would Big E say when he learned Ethan got someone and not just anyone, but Grace Gardner, pregnant and didn’t step up to do the right thing? His grandfather was an old-school man with old-school values despite his faults. Ethan could add another way he’d disappointed Big E. Now he’d disappointed Frank Gardner too. Ethan shoved out of the chair and paced around the kitchen.
Sarah Ashley strolled in and glanced between Ethan and Grace. “I would’ve assumed Mom’s tears would’ve been happier than that when she learned about the baby.”
Ethan gaped at Sarah Ashley. Grace dunked her tea bag into her mug as if she wanted to dunk herself in the ceramic cup too.
“You did tell them about the baby, right?” Sarah Ashley poured coffee into a silver to-go mug.
“They already knew.” Grace’s voice held less strength than the steam from her tea. “Sort of like you.”
“I never talked to them.” Sarah Ashley held up her hands, palms out. “But we all live in this house together. Besides, I warned you that you needed to trust someone if you wanted to keep your secret.”
“I’m supposed to believe you would’ve kept this secret?” Grace asked.
“Believe what you want.” Sarah Ashley shrugged and grabbed a pear. “But I would’ve helped you. You never asked.”
“You can’t tell me you’re happy about this.” Grace flicked her finger at Ethan as if her willpower alone could cast him out of the kitchen. “He’s your ex-boyfriend. I’m your sister.”
“It’s not how I would’ve expected things to go.” Sarah Ashley washed the pear and dried it, calm and collected, as if they were discussing nothing more life altering than missed dinner reservations. “But this isn’t high school anymore.”
Ethan grimaced. He was leaving Falcon Creek, but he would take responsibility. “We should’ve told you.”
“Probably.” Sarah Ashley bit into the pear and chewed, all the while considering him.
He’d been waiting for her comeback since their confrontation in Clearwater Café after he’d insulted her. From the way her gaze locked on to him like a target, he knew he wouldn’t need to wait much longer.
Finally, Sarah Ashley swallowed and said, “But then I should’ve told you that you were only ever my backup. So we’ll call it even.”
Ethan shook his head. Not that he hadn’t known. Still, he couldn’t deny her words sliced through him, clean and quick yet destructive all the same.
Sarah Ashley wasn’t finished. “If you promise my sister the world, everything will be better.”
Grace’s mug thumped on the table.
“Grace is too practical to ask for that.” Ethan dropped a second bag of peppermint tea and fresh mug of hot water next to Grace. “Only you would expect the impossible, Sarah Ashley.”
Sarah Ashley met his gaze, and her voice was solemn as if she’d made a pledge. “There’s nothing impossible when it comes to love.”
“Love itself is impossible,” Ethan shot back.
Sarah Ashley shook her head and walked over to Grace. She touched her sister’s shoulder as if Grace needed support. “Grace, I’ll help Mom with the payroll this morning. You can take your time here.”
With that, Sarah Ashley breezed out of the kitchen, taking Ethan’s conviction with her. Ethan looked out the window and searched for the right words. Words he hadn’t gotten right all day. Silence settled in the kitchen and his throat.
* * *
SARAH ASHLEY’S CAR pulled out of the garage. Grace had to pull away too. Ethan claimed love was impossible. Her sister had been right about Ethan not being able to love. Yet hearing the words come out of Ethan was a hit Grace hadn’t known would hurt so much. “You don’t have to take me to the doctor’s appointment.”
“I should be there.” His voice was flat, his expression contained as if he too had pulled away, deep inside himself.
Did he want to go to the doctor with her? She refused to be a burden. “If you have work at the ranch to deal with, it’s no big deal. I’ve been before without an escort.”
“No, it’s fine.” Ethan walked back to the table and sat down across from her. “I’ll sort it out.”
But it wasn’t fine. None of this was fine. She could see that much from his movements, stiff and tense as if he’d stepped into someone else’s life. “We’ve gone back to awkward again.”
Ethan covered his face with his hands. “I’m not sure how I imagined that conversation with your parents would go, but that wasn’t it. And then there was Sarah Ashley.”
“I’m sorry you had to be here.” I’m sorry you regret our one night together.
Ethan raised his head and reached for her hand. “Grace, I’m part of this. We made this baby together and we have to deal with that together.”
“What does that mean?”
“Well, you’re building a client list for your business to support the baby.” Uncertainty still controlled his voice. “I’m figuring out how I can help support the baby too.”
“By being there. By being in your child’s life and not for a weekend, or one month in the summer either.” Grace bit down on her lip. She’d just told him that she wanted him around full-time. When had she adjusted her world to include Ethan in their lives on a daily basis?
“That’s not enough,” Ethan said.
That was all that mattered. Being an involved father. She’d seen him with his nieces. A parent was more than just a financial provider. She wante
d for their baby what he gave so freely to his family. “What exactly are your plans?”
“I’m still working out the details. I haven’t confirmed anything specific yet, but I hope to soon.”
“That’s all you ever say.” Grace slammed her mug on the table, the tea and her frustration spilling over. “What does that mean?”
“It means I don’t have a job.” Ethan jumped up and gripped the chair back. “I don’t have money to support a child.”
“There are other ways to be there for the baby,” Grace said.
“You’re not listening. I don’t have a proper home. Money. Nothing to help provide for a child.”
Nothing, but his love. He could give a child his love. But that wasn’t an option. That wasn’t enough for him. Love was impossible. His words to her sister.
She’d watched him recoil when they’d been talking to Sarah Ashley. He’d folded in on himself at the mere mention of love. “If you had a home. Money. The means to support a child, what then?” Would you choose me? Could you love?
“We need to concentrate on what is, not dwell on what-ifs.” He crossed his arms over his chest.
She had her answer. “The reality is that we both need to get to work. Katie is probably already looking for you.” Grace transferred her tea into a stainless steel travel mug. “And I can’t leave Sarah Ashley alone with the payroll.” But she could leave Ethan alone.
Grace grabbed her purse and car keys. “Once you’ve confirmed your plans with respect to how you’re providing for your child, we’ll talk more.”
“You’ll be the first to know.”
But not his first choice.
Grace walked to her car, leaving Ethan and her useless wishes behind.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
ETHAN OPENED THE passenger door and extended his hand to Grace. “Thanks again for coming with me today.”
“We made a deal.” She accepted his assistance, but dropped his hand as soon as she was free and clear of his truck. “I keep my word when I give it.”
It bothered him that Grace had joined him out of a sense of obligation. Because they’d arranged that he’d take her to Billings, and she’d come to the meeting with Judge Edwards. He would have preferred her to be there simply because she wanted to. Because she wanted to support him.
Truth was, he needed her support. And didn’t that make him more selfish than Sarah Ashley had ever been.
He should have released her from their deal. He should’ve left her at Brewster’s.
The county courthouse in Livingston loomed large in front of them. They followed the signs to Judge Edwards’s chambers, pretending that they were all right, and ignoring the fact that they hadn’t talked since their confrontation with her parents three days ago. Not to mention that he’d disappointed Grace and continued to do so every minute he failed to make things right. He just wished he knew what to do.
A clerk led them into Judge Edwards’s corner office with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves and thick red curtains at the windows behind her formidable desk. The American flag and the Montana state flag stood like sentries on either side of her tall leather chair. A round conference table with seating for six waited in the back of the office. A love seat sofa with a plush blanket welcomed visitors to curl up with a book. The clerk guided Ethan and Grace to the pair of stiff red leather chairs facing the desk, aware this wasn’t a social call.
A vintage mantel clock with a pendulum chimed the hour and Judge Edwards’s arrival. Ethan and Grace rose as if a bailiff had called out, All rise for the honorable Judge Edwards.
Myrna Edwards’s hair had faded to white and more wrinkles now creased her eyes and mouth. But age hadn’t softened her sharp nose or intense gaze. The woman commanded the room despite her short stature. She wasn’t the traditional sweet grandmotherly type that children wanted to hug. She was the type who’d made infants cry. Ethan wanted to cry himself.
Judge Edwards sat in her chair and trapped Ethan with her unrelenting stare. “You lost your grandfather.”
Ethan fixed his gaze on Myrna Edwards and injected confidence into his voice. “Big E took the RV for an extended trip.”
Beside him, Grace shifted. He heard the scratch of her suit pants. Ethan held Myrna’s stare. If he risked a look at Grace, Myrna might consider him unsure. She always could spot a weakness and attack like a pit viper.
“Elias never claimed to like that rolling house on wheels.” Judge Edwards tapped the manila folder on the desk in front of her. “Claimed he could never spend more than a weekend in its confining space.”
Big E had already spent more than half a dozen weekends in the RV as far as Ethan knew. “It seems he changed his mind.”
Judge Edwards peered at Ethan over the rim of her glasses. “You can’t sit there and tell me you honestly believe that Elias Blackwell has changed.”
Ethan swallowed. “It’s not unheard of for people to have a change of heart.”
Her eyes narrowed. Everything about her stilled as if hardened like steel. She’d even stopped blinking. “Then you’ve had a change of heart?”
What did this have to do with him and his heart? He needed signing authority on Big E’s bank account. He needed access to more money to keep the ranch afloat. It was a simple request. Everything was detailed in the paperwork in that manila folder under her cold hands. And yet Judge Edwards’s stony face made everything seem complicated. “I’m sorry I flattened your car tires.”
“As sure as arthritis stiffens each one of my joints, I know that’s a lie.” Judge Edwards twisted in her leather chair, picked up a thick book from the shelf behind her and plunked it on the desk. Her finger traced over the gold embossed lettering on the cover that spelled Bible as if she was both judge and juror for lost souls. “I realize we are seated in my chambers and not in a courtroom. But I feel the need to make you swear under oath to tell the truth and nothing but the truth all the same.”
Ethan put his hands on his knees to keep his legs from bobbing up and down, giving away his guilt. But he had no idea what he was guilty of. He could’ve sounded more sincere in his long overdue apology, he supposed, but that would’ve been a lie. He’d been a twelve-year-old boy still grieving the loss of his parents. He’d have resented the intrusion of any woman Big E had married back then. He’d wanted his parents. He’d wanted to return to his old life. Surely even Myrna Edwards recognized that.
He searched her fingers for a wedding ring. If she’d found her soul mate and long-lasting happiness, maybe she’d be more likely to want to others to share in the joy. But besides several swollen knuckles from the arthritis, nothing else adorned her fingers. Ethan’s confidence deflated like one of Myrna’s tires with his arrow embedded in it. “I’m good not going through the whole oath procedure.”
“Grace, you’ve always been the most levelheaded and sensible of the Gardner daughters. If my sources are correct, and they usually are, your influence has finally impacted your sister. Therefore, I’m certain you’ll intercede if you believe Ethan is straying from the truth.” Judge Edwards offered Grace a smile that looked more like an order.
“Y-yes, ma’am,” Grace said.
Ethan relaxed hearing Grace’s hesitant agreement. Nice to know he wasn’t alone in his confusion. He was desperate for Judge Edwards to excuse herself for a moment and then he’d ask Grace who Myrna’s sources were and where to find them.
Seemingly satisfied that she had both a witness to Ethan’s potential duplicity, and an accomplice, Judge Edwards opened the folder and glanced through the paperwork. “You’re requesting signing authority on all Elias Blackwell’s financial accounts.”
Ethan cleared his throat. “That’s correct.”
“Elias already granted you signing privileges for the main Blackwell Ranch account.” Judge Edwards closed the folder and peered at him. Her glasses only magnified the hostility in her gaze.
“I have to assume if Elias had wanted you to have signing privileges on the other account, he’d have arranged that at the same time.”
“Perhaps he forgot,” Ethan said.
“Elias Thurmond Blackwell has a memory like a well-preserved, centuries-old fossil. Impressive and intact.” Judge Edwards glanced at Grace and smiled. “Your grandfather Brewster runs a close second, dear. If you haven’t recorded Pops’s memories yet, you should get to it rather quickly. Otherwise you may miss out on all the family history to pass down to your children.”
Ethan sat still but wanted to object. He wasn’t interested in scrapbooking family memories of either the Brewsters or the Blackwells. “I need access to that other money.”
Judge Edwards’s gaze flicked to Ethan and pinned him in place like a scorpion’s tail. “To pay off your college debt?”
Ethan’s mouth dropped open.
Judge Edwards made a scooping motion with her hand as if trying to get Ethan to close his mouth. “Obviously, you must have debt. You’ve always been rash. You refused Elias’s offer to pay for your college tuition and set out to conquer the world on your own. It seems fair to say you’ve been less than victorious.”
The only victory he’d like to celebrate now was taking his bow and arrow and shooting out all four tires on Judge Edwards’s luxury SUV sitting in the parking lot. Judge Edwards’s sources lacked information. She only knew one side of Big E’s offer to Ethan all those years ago.
The other side had strings attached that would have forced him into a life sentence on the Blackwell Ranch. The other side kept Big E in control of Ethan indefinitely. That was the side Ethan had refused to accept. And in doing so, Big E had severed ties with Ethan, his own grandson. Ethan had been forced out and on his own, and he was still fighting that battle.
Grace’s hand reached for his shoulder. Her steady touch drifted down his arm, easing the anger inside him as if she had only to wave her hand to corral a herd of wild horses. “But, Judge, you’re not taking in the full picture.” Ethan loosened his tightened jaw, alert and ready to defend Grace if Judge Edwards rebuked her or, even worse, held her in contempt.
The Rancher's Rescue Page 19
