All thoughts of getting dressed flee from my mind as I burst out of my room and barrel down the hallway. My grandma’s door flings open under my panicked touch, banging against the wall. The rustling of the bed sheets almost drops me to my knees. She struggles to sit up, her eyes questing out through the darkness to see what disturbed her.
“Vanessa?”
It brings tears to my eyes to hear how frail her voice has become. I practically run to her side. Kneeling down next to her bed, I grab one of her hands in mine. My hunger roars at the contact. Tears spill down my cheeks in the face of her pain and anguish, but I hold it in check thanks to everything David has taught me. I can’t stay for long, though.
“Vanessa, what are you doing in here? It isn’t safe,” she says worriedly. She’s too weak to pull away, too scared to want to.
“I know, Grandma, I just… David’s taking me somewhere. I had to make sure you were okay and… and say goodbye.”
Her already watery eyes turn into pools. “Goodbye? Is he…?”
“I don’t know,” I say quickly. “He just woke me up and told me to get dressed. I…”
“Vanessa,” David says, more softly than he normally would. “Why are you disturbing your grandmother? It’s not good for her, and it certainly isn’t wise for you to be near her. Your control is nowhere near where it needs to be to withstand her pain for long.”
“I know, but…”
Sighing, he comes up behind me and sets his hand on my shoulder. “We’re just going to the compound for the weekend. We’ll be back, and your grandmother will still be here.”
I stare up at him, desperate to know he isn’t lying. There’s no way I could ever say that I trust David, but I know he isn’t trying to deceive me right now. Slowly, I stand up and let my hand slip free of hers. “I love you, Grandma.”
It seems painful for her to smile. The corners of her mouth tremble as she looks at me. “I love you, too. Be safe while you’re gone.”
My chin begins trembling as I back away. “I’ll try.” Turning away, I breathe out slowly. That’s really all I can offer.
I make it out to the hallway before I have to stop and find some support. Leaning up against the wall, I try very hard to get my fears under control. It doesn’t help that David steps out into the hall a moment later and pulls the door to Grandma’s room closed. The soft click sends another round of panic through me.
“Who’s going to take care of her?” I look back toward the door. I don’t see Zander being dragged out of bed, but he can’t be near her for long either. She’s barely been able to get up and down the stairs in the last few weeks. She refuses any sort of medical treatment because she knows it won’t help. Not that she’ll talk to Zander or me about it. David was unusually considerate to tell us that much, that she wanted to spend her last few weeks at home where she’s comfortable. The thought of her dying alone, with no one there to sit with her, pierces me. My shoulders are shaking, tears falling, before I can stop myself.
Arms close around my shoulders. I jump back, half-terrified I’m about to be punished for showing such weakness, but David only presses my head against his chest and holds me patiently until I calm back down. I don’t want to be grateful when I finally pull back, but that sense of longing, that wish that I had my dad back, assaults me, and I can’t say anything at all.
“Now, go get dressed and meet me downstairs in twenty minutes. A Godling nurse will be here to look after her while we’re gone.”
“Shouldn’t I… pack, or something?” I’m still sniffling and trying to make my hands stop shaking as I speak, but he doesn’t seem to notice.
“Everything you need is already at the compound. Just get dressed. You can sleep on the way if you’d like.”
He starts to turn away, but impulse makes me reach out. Glancing down at my hand on his forearm, he looks back at me questioningly. I realize this is probably the first time I have every touched him of my own free will. I pull my hand back, but I keep my gaze level with his. “Can Ketchup come?”
David shakes his head. “Not this time.”
“Why not?” My hands twist together. “What will I be doing?”
“You mean, what will you be doing that I don’t want him to see?” Other than a crooked eyebrow, his expression is blank. “Do you really think there’s anything you could do that would make Ketchup walk away from you?”
For better or worse… I swallow, my throat feeling sticky. “No.” The word is a difficult one to speak.
“Neither do I,” David says. “You need to focus this weekend. No distractions. So, no Ketchup. It has nothing to do with hiding anything from him, as I’m sure you’ll give him a full report as soon as we get back.”
I fear asking any other questions and actually getting the answers, so I nod and turn toward my bedroom. I can tell by the lack of clicking shoes that he’s watching me, but I don’t look back. I’m afraid to.
Once I’m safe in my room, I dress quickly. Not knowing what I’m in for, I throw on a pair of jeans and t-shirt, grabbing a sweater in case I need it on the way out. I twist my hair into a ballet knot as I walk toward the stairs, knowing it won’t look great no matter what I do at this point. Fear is still lurking behind every step I take, but considering David’s blasé attitude about this trip’s activities, plus his unusual kindness this morning, I don’t feel as terrified as I probably should as I rush down the stairs.
I hit the landing, but stop before going any further. I have no idea whether or not David deigned to tell Zander we were leaving, so I text him and Ketchup to let them know where I’ll be all weekend. I know they won’t see it for hours and, by the time they do, I probably won’t be able to reply to them, but if I don’t come back, they’ll at least know where to start looking… or who to take revenge on. Shaking my head, I trudge to the living room, really hoping it doesn’t come to that.
David stands as soon as he sees me. While I look like a bleary-eyed rat dragged out of its hole, he’s as impeccably manicured as always. It’s not fair. Ignoring my sourness, he gestures to the front door. I turn reluctantly, fear making a reappearance, and wait for him to open the door. When he does, I’m somewhat surprised to find a Godling driver waiting on the porch. He nods to David, and then starts for the sleek, black car in the driveway.
Normally, David isn’t so smug as to have to be driven around everywhere. This will be a long drive, though, and I can only assume he has business to conduct on the way. I slow just a bit as I realize that means we’ll be stuck together in the backseat the entire ride. Oddly, the thought makes me miss Ketchup. What I wouldn’t give right now to spend the next several hours tucked under his arm. I sigh, knowing there’s no negotiating with David.
I cross behind the back of the car and open the door. David is already seated by the time I drop into my seat. My plan is to promptly fall back asleep. As usual, David messes it all up.
“You have surprised me yet again,” he says as the driver pulls out onto the street. He doesn’t look at me as he speaks. Whatever he’s got going on with his phone is too important.
Not sure what he’s talking about, I give him a puzzled look. “Oh yeah?”
“I expected a fight this morning.”
“Is that why you woke me up so freakin’ early? Hoping I’d be too tired to argue?”
“No,” David says, “we simply need to be at the compound by a certain time.”
It’s all about the schedule. Shaking my head, I say, “Afraid I might be late for a training session?”
“Something like that.” He sets his phone down, turning his attention away from his emails or whatever. It’s clear when he looks at me that I have his full attention, whether I want it or not. “Why did you not fight me about coming? It’s clear you’re frightened by the prospect of coming with me, yet here we are.”
“It doesn’t matter if I’m scared,” I say. I breathe out slowly as I choose my next words. “I didn’t fight because I’m prepared to do whatever it takes.”
“Whatever it takes to do what?”
Not shying away from his intensity, I meet his gaze. “To survive.”
If I wasn’t scared enough before, the smile that slips onto David’s mouth at my answer brings a whole new level of fear to the table.
***
I stare at the table in confusion. What is all this stuff? After a really long drive, I was hoping for a nap, or at least five minutes to collect myself. Being dragged off to some random room and left here with a table full of what looked like spy gear wasn’t on my agenda. I pick up one of the contraptions and stare at the straps, not sure what to even do with it.
The door bursting open behind me makes me jump, but relief rushes through me when I see Chris. He looks positively gleeful. “Nice to see you again, Van. Are you ready for this?”
I can only shrug. “I don’t even know what this is.”
Realizing then that David didn’t bother to explain anything to me—as usual—Chris steps back into teacher mode. “This,” he says, “is your first mission.”
“My what?” I practically shriek. “I thought I was coming here for some kind of next level training or whatever.”
“You are, but this is field training. I’ll be with you the whole way.”
“But, what are we doing?”
Chris hesitates. He seems to ponder his answer a moment before continuing. “We have a situation that needs to be dealt with, and David thought you would be the best choice to accompany me.” He grabs a stack of black clothing and holds it out to me. “And I agreed.”
“What situation?” I demand. “What are we supposed to do?”
Pushing the clothes into my hands, Chris says, “I’ll explain everything. Get changed, and I’ll help you into the rest of your gear.”
That’s all he offers. Chris strides out of the room like everything is right with the world, and I’m not standing here with a pile of clothes in my arms and no clue what I’m about to walk into. Left alone in the room, I don’t know what else to do but get dressed. My fingers tremble as I change out of my jeans and pull on the military-style black cargo pants in their place. Only one thought calms me. As terrified as I am right now, I meant what I said to David.
A few minutes later, Chris knocks on the door before pushing into the room. I’m fully dressed, and still terrified, but I put on a good enough show that he powers on without comment. In no time, I have flashlights in my pockets, a variety of tools wrapped around my waist, and an earpiece tucked into place. Even knowing it’s there, I jump a little when Chris tests it. My reaction earns me a laugh, but he turns serious soon after.
“Now, Van, you’ll be acting as my wingman on this mission. All you have to do is follow my lead.”
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“To infiltrate an Eroi compound. Their leader has been getting too close. We know they’re planning a strike, and we have to disrupt their plans before they can hit us. We have a very limited window of time, so I need you to do exactly as I say.”
Suddenly, my heart is in my throat. “You mean… this is a real mission? Like, we’re going to… kill someone?”
Chris doesn’t miss a beat as he says, “Yes.”
I think I’m going to throw up. Chris must see it because he grabs my upper arm to steady me. Clinging to him, I try to keep my cool. I’m just the wingman. I’m not the one who has to do it. I’m just going to be there, just… watch. My stomach heaves. Chris shoves me into a chair next to the table and orders me to breathe. I don’t have to kill anyone, but Chris will.
Panic latches onto me. I knew. I knew David was a killer. I knew lots of the Godlings were in his pocket, but Chris? He’s not supposed to be one of them. Tears burn in my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. Weakness. He’ll see it as weakness. He’ll tell David. I’ll fail. Isolde will call off the deal. How could Chris be one of them?
It’s almost worse than thinking I had to be the one to take down an Eroi leader. Chris was supposed to be my ally, the one person I could trust in this godforsaken place. In the back of my mind, I always hoped he would help me escape if it came to that. A crippling sense of aloneness sinks into my bones. My only hope is making David believe I’m everything he thinks I am.
That singular thought has a strange effect on me.
Chris watches me with a concerned expression as my breathing slows back to normal, and I straighten my shoulders. Everything I just experienced slips away into a fog of cold resolve. Noah’s words echo in my mind. This is the only way to protect the people I love. I won’t fail.
“Van, are you okay?” Chris asks slowly.
I look up at him with an expression I know is as hollow as my soul feels right now. “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
After adjusting a strap that loosened during my panic attack, I say, “Aren’t we on a tight schedule?”
His eyes narrow, and I know he’s worried about me, but I don’t let it affect me. The calm wrapped around me feels unnatural, but I embrace it. I have to. Finally, Chris shakes his head and gestures for me to follow him. We’re silent as we stalk through the compound halls. I don’t question him when he leads me to an SUV with windows so dark there’s no chance of seeing out of them. This first time I climbed into a car like this, I was terrified I was being kidnapped. This time, the only emotion running through me is determination.
I want to believe I was created for something more than killing, but the evidence is hard to come by. Everything about me screams dangerous. All David preaches about is purpose. If this is it, the reason for my existence, I’ll make it count for something more than a senseless war.
Chris climbs into the backseat of the SUV with me but, before he can say anything, I take control. “Which Eroi compound are we infiltrating? There are at least two within driving distance, right?”
Hiding his surprise is impossible. He knows very well that David would have never told me the location of an Eroi compound. A million thoughts must be running through his mind right now, wondering where I came across such information. Even in his wildest dreams, I know he would never guess the truth. That’s why I felt confident enough to say it. If I have any hope of pulling this off, I need them both to realize I’m more competent and dangerous than they realize.
At some point while we were walking down the halls, I realized the compound David intends for us to hit might very well be Isolde’s. He doesn’t know about the deal we made with her. I know that because this situation would be playing out very differently if he did. It could also be Noah’s band of delusional Heroes. Attacking Noah’s leaders could solve a problem for me, but it could also expose my connection to them, faint as it is. Killing Isolde would cripple my plans for escape. There would be no other option than to find a way to survive in David’s army until I can kill him.
Realizing Chris never answered my question, I turn to look at him. “Is this how it’s always going to be? Me getting whisked off with no explanation and no idea where I’m going?”
“No,” Chris says slowly. For a moment, he doesn’t say anything else. Something changes in his expression, like he’s made a decision. “We’ll be hitting one of their bases in Albuquerque.”
That doesn’t tell me enough to know which group we’re going after, unfortunately. “Why did David drag me all the way here then? It would have saved time to send you to me.”
“The gear and supplies we needed were here.”
“You could have brought it all with you.”
Chris nods. “He also wanted to make sure you were emotionally and psychologically prepared to step out of training and into your future roll.”
“What was the plan if I wasn’t ready? Lock me in a closet all weekend?” The look Chris gives me says I pretty much hit the nail on the head. Inwardly, I cringe, knowing I came very close to being booted off this mission. Part of me still wishes I had been. I don’t let it show. All I do is settle back into my seat and wait.
It’s hours later when we finally r
oll to a stop. I have no idea where we are until Chris gives me the go ahead to open the door and step out. When I do, pretty much nothing is made any clearer. Boots scratching against loose pavement gravel, I scan the rundown complex that looks like it used to be a manufacturing plant of some kind. I’m even more confused when Chris leads me over to a grate set into a low point in the chewed up asphalt.
“Their hideout is underground?” I question. Are we fighting the mole people?
Chris laughs. “Their compound is about a mile from here, but this is how we plan to get there.”
No wonder David didn’t join us. No way he’d crawl into a stormwater grate and risk dirtying up his suit. Chris seems almost gleeful as he yanks up the grate and drops into the hole. I’m not as thrilled at the prospect, especially knowing we had one of those freak, desert downpours last night that filled the arroyos in flash floods all over the valley. There’s bound to be a pool of mucky water at the bottom. With a sigh, I jump.
Chris already has a flashlight leveled in front of us when I land. Once I have my feet as solidly beneath me as I can while standing in six inches of slimy sludge, he starts walking through a makeshift doorway cut out of the metal pipe. The ground beneath my feet as I step through is no longer covered metal, but slurping mud. Not much of an improvement. The tunnel we’re standing in looks recently dug, and I assume it wasn’t done by the Eroi. I follow the beam of yellow light, silent, until we reach something unexpected. Chris and I both stop and stare at the caved-in portion of tunnel, no doubt a product of last night’s storm.
Pressing a finger to his ear, Chris says, “There’s been a cave-in.” He listens, nods, and then responds. “Keep me informed of the time.” He drops his hand and gestures at the dirt and rocks. “Well, we better start digging.”
I don’t question him. I’m thankful for the thick gloves I’m wearing as I yank at boulders and scoop away water-heavy dirt. Chris gave the command casually, but we both work quickly to clear away enough of the rubble to squeeze through a gap at the top. I haven’t forgotten what Chris said about having a limited window of opportunity for this mission. I stumble over dirt and rocks after making it through, but my shoulders drop at the sight of more cave-ins.
Wicked Glory Page 20
