But they had won! Tears of joy spilled down her cheeks as she realized the children would never have to spend a day…a minute with their father. She and the children could build a good life together without looking over their shoulders, without being afraid.
And if what the judge had said was true, Loretta’s murder would finally be vindicated. Justin would be returned to Kansas City to stand trial again, and this time she knew the children would be strong enough to voice what had happened on that horrible night. It was over. Finally.
For the next four days, Abby spent most of her time in bed as Dr. Howerton had instructed. Luke insisted that he cook the meals, and it was one of the few things Abby realized he did not do well. Each evening at supper they all spent the first few minutes of the meal trying to guess what the ingredients were of whatever he had cooked.
And every night Abby lay in bed, dreading the day when Luke would leave, knowing the time was coming far too quickly for her. With each day that passed, she felt Luke subtly distancing himself from them all. Not in big ways, but in small ways that told her he was preparing both her and the children for his absence.
Exactly one week after the custody hearing, the day after they got the news that Justin had been extradited to Missouri to stand trial again, Luke began to pack what few belongings he’d brought to the house.
His truck was packed and ready to go just minutes before it was time for the children to get home from school. Abby wondered if he’d timed it that way on purpose. He would leave as the children arrived home, giving her no time to grieve his leaving.
“It’s not like we’ll never see each other again,” Luke said as the two of them stood next to his truck.
“It’s still months before I leave town.”
She nodded, her mind embracing the vision of him. Those strong, bold features of his would be forever emblazoned in her memories. Her fingertips would always retain the feel of his wide, muscular shoulders, the springy hair of his broad chest, the warmth of his skin.
Her heart would treasure forever the laughter they had shared, the dramas and joys of their time together. Her soul would always cherish and remember her love for him.
For a long moment his gaze held hers. She didn’t want him to go yet couldn’t stop him. She’d promised and, just like he always kept his promises, she always tried to keep hers.
It was he who averted his gaze first, staring toward the road where a cloud of dust indicated the approach of the school bus. “You and the kids will be fine,” he said, and it sounded like he was assuring himself more than her.
“Yes, we’ll be fine,” she agreed softly. And they would. Abby was strong, stronger than she’d ever believed herself to be, and she knew she would survive this even though her heart was breaking into tiny, shattered pieces.
“Johnna will send over the divorce papers. They should be cut and dried.”
Again Abby nodded, unable to speak as emotion rose in her throat.
With a squeal of brakes, the big yellow bus lumbered to a halt, and Jason and Jessica got off. They raced toward Luke and Abby, their faces lit with happiness.
Jason’s smile fell first as he saw Luke’s things in the back of the truck. “Where are you going, Luke?”
Luke bent on one knee and drew Jason and Jessica close to him. “It’s time for me to go back to my own house. I was just staying here with you guys while I worked on the place and while we were waiting for the judge to make a decision.”
“Where’s your house?” Jason asked.
“You know the ranch where we ride the horses? That’s where I’m going to be living now.”
Jessica’s lower lip quivered slightly. “But Peaches is gonna miss you,” she said softly and put a little hand on Luke’s cheek. “You’re our lullaby man. Who is gonna sing us lullabies?”
Luke stood, as if needing to distance himself from the children. “Your mommy can sing you lullabies,” he said.
“No, she can’t.” Jason wrinkled his nose. “She doesn’t sing good at all.”
A burst of half-hysterical laughter left Abby’s lips. “Now you know the last of my secrets. I’m pretty much tone-deaf.” The laughter died on her lips, and she swallowed hard against a sob that threatened to erupt. “You two better go see your dog. She’s been waiting for you all day long.”
Jason and Jessica gave Luke one final look then headed for the house.
“Then I guess this is it,” Luke said, his gaze once again not meeting hers.
“Yes.”
“But we’ll see each other around.” His beautiful gray eyes looked at her for a long moment. “This is for the best, Abby. You don’t need a man like me in your life.”
“You mean I don’t need a strong, wonderful, loving man?”
He didn’t reply, but instead climbed into his truck, started the engine and took off.
Abby watched his truck pull away, the tears she had tried so hard to contain once again burning…oozing uncontrollably down her cheeks.
Luke. Luke. Her heart cried out for him. Her soul mate. The children’s lullaby man. Gone.
She turned, stumbled to the porch and sank down, half-blinded by the tears that continued to flow down her face. She’d known all along that this day would come, had believed she was prepared for it.
What she hadn’t been prepared for was the utter, profound, intense heartache of loving Luke.
“Mom, can we have some cookies?” Jason asked as he flew out the front door.
“Sure,” she replied, not turning to look at him.
“You can each have two cookies and a glass of milk.”
“You sound funny.” Jason sat next to her and looked at her. “You’re crying.”
Abby hurriedly swiped at her cheeks. “Maybe just a little,” she replied.
“Are you hurt?” He looked at her worriedly.
“No, I’m not hurt on the outside, but my heart hurts.”
Jason’s eyes narrowed. “Did Luke hurt your heart?”
“Maybe just a tiny little bit,” she said, then swiped her eyes. “But Luke didn’t mean to hurt my heart.” She gave Jason a hug and forced a wide smile. “But don’t you worry. I’ll be fine. We’re all going to be fine. Come on, let’s go get some cookies and milk.”
Luke had believed that in making the break, in packing up and leaving Abby, he’d feel relief. After all, it had never been intended to be a lasting marriage. They had accomplished their goal, and now it was time for him to focus on his future.
But as he drove away from the house, he felt no relief, and he felt no real thrill of anticipation when he contemplated his future.
The lullaby man. He remembered the night Abby had been shot, when he and the children had been together in her bed and he’d sung every lullaby he could think of to the two worried children.
There had been a special peace inside him as he’d smelled the scent of childhood clinging to them, had watched their eyes grow heavy with sleep and had seen their smiles of pleasure as he’d sung them to slumberland.
Would he ever have a better audience? All he had ever wanted to accomplish in his life was to prove to his old man that he could be somebody important…be somebody special. And wasn’t he that to Abby’s children? He was their lullaby man.
He hadn’t expected to hurt when he walked away from them, and yet pain radiated through his chest directly into his heart.
It was a familiar pain, the pain he’d felt as a child when he’d realized no matter what he did, his father wouldn’t love him. It was the same ache he’d felt as a young man, displaced and alone despite his family. It was the gnawing agony that always in the past had made him reach for a drink.
He pulled his truck to the side of the road and shut off the engine, needing to think. Everything suddenly seemed all jumbled up in his head.
He hadn’t expected to fall in love with Jason and Jessica, and he told himself it was saying goodbye to them that had confused him, unsettled him. He hadn’t realized until this moment just ho
w deeply they had crept into his heart.
Abby loved him. He knew it as surely as he knew his own name. As he’d told her goodbye, in those moments when their gazes had locked, he’d seen her love…unabashed, unadorned and unhidden. It had flowed from those beautiful eyes of hers and momentarily filled up every dark space and every lonely place in his heart.
She loved him and she believed in him. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, thinking of that morning when he’d come home stinking of booze. She had believed his story without reservation because she knew what kind of man he was and believed the best of him.
Now all he had to figure out was what kind of a man he was and what he really wanted for himself.
Abby and the two children had just finished their cookies and milk when a knock fell on the front door. “I’ll get it,” Jason exclaimed, flying from his chair and racing for the door with Peaches and Abby at his heels.
Jason pulled open the door, and Luke stepped in. “Hi, Jason,” he said.
Without warning, Jason drew back his leg and kicked Luke hard in the shin.
“Jason!” Abby yelled as Luke yelped and Peaches barked.
“I told him,” Jason said, his little chin raised defiantly. “I told him that if he ever hurt you I’d kick him really hard. He hurt you and made you cry.”
“Go to your room, young man,” Abby exclaimed, appalled by Jason’s actions. As Jason stalked off down the hall, Luke hobbled to the sofa and sank down.
“Don’t be too hard on him,” Luke said as he rubbed his shin.
“I’m so sorry,” Abby exclaimed, trying to figure out why he was back, trying to ignore how her heart leaped at the sight of him. “Did you forget something?” she asked.
He straightened up. “Yeah, I did. I forgot that I promised you I’d build you new kitchen cabinets. I never got them finished.”
“That’s not necessary now,” she murmured. “Besides, it wasn’t a real promise. It was just something you mentioned.”
“No.” He stood with a shake of his head. “I distinctly remember it was a promise, and I told you I never break my promises.”
Abby felt as if she were involved in some sort of emotional warfare. Didn’t he realize she didn’t want him coming here everyday, working in her kitchen, indulging in flirtatious banter, then leaving each night to go back to his own life?
She didn’t want him to build cabinets. She didn’t want him to wash the windows or take out the trash. All she wanted was for him to love her. She held her tongue as Jessica came into the living room from the kitchen.
“Sweetie, why don’t you go get your brother and the two of you can play outside on the swing for a little while,” she said.
Jessica nodded, and Luke and Abby said nothing until the kids had disappeared out the front door. “Luke, I don’t think it’s a good idea, you coming back and forth here to do any work.”
She was pleased at how unemotional she’d managed to sound, pleased that her voice didn’t betray the tumultuous emotions his mere presence had stirred in her.
“You’re right. I don’t think that’s a good idea, either.” He advanced toward her, his gaze holding hers.
“I think it’s best if I just stay here until all the work around this place is completed. And I figure with the hours I have to put in at the ranch and my woodworking business, the work around here should take about thirty or forty years to complete.”
She frowned and looked at him in confusion. “What are you talking about?” she asked. This time her voice caught with emotion.
He stood mere inches from her, the familiar masculine scent of him surrounding her. “I’m talking about forever, Abby. I’m talking about making love to you every night and waking up with you in my arms every morning.” He placed his hands on either side of her face. “I’m talking about watching Jason at his first Little League game and taking Jessica to her first dance recital.”
Abby’s heart had begun the rhythm of hope, of love, but she knew of Luke’s dreams and would not, could not be the reason he didn’t pursue them. “But…what about Nashville?”
Luke dropped his hands from her face and stepped back from her. He grabbed her hand and led her to the sofa where they both sat down.
“Nashville was the dream of a boy,” he said. “A boy whose father had told him thousands of times how worthless he was. So that boy dreamed of being a star, of being rich and famous…somebody important to show his old man.”
He smiled and tightened his fingers around her hand. “And then an amazing thing happened. He looked into the eyes of a beautiful woman and saw that he was somebody important. I love you, Abby. And when you look at me, I feel like I’m king of the world. And if I turn my back on our love, then I truly am the fool my father always told me I was.”
“Oh, Luke.” Tears sprang to Abby’s eyes, and she started to reach for him but paused as he held up a hand to stop her.
“I want you to understand something, Abby. I’m an alcoholic, and I’ll always have to fight that battle one day at a time.”
“When I had Justin hanging over my head, that’s how I learned to survive,” she said softly. “One day at a time. I couldn’t anticipate the future, nor could I dwell upon the past.”
His eyes, those beautiful, long-lashed eyes gazed at her intently. “I realize now I drank to forget instead of working to heal the wounds left by my father. But you loving me…the kids trusting me, that’s done more to heal me than I ever thought possible. I love you, Abigail Delaney.”
Abby threw herself into his arms, unable to stand not being there for another minute. “I love you, Luke. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. But I want you to be sure. You’re giving up your dreams.”
“Darlin’, I’ve never been more certain of anything in my entire life.” His smoky eyes gazed into hers with an intensity that threatened to steal her breath away. “And all I’m doing is trading dreams. I’m trading in the dreams of a child for the dreams of a man. You and the children, you’re my real dream.”
She leaned into him and touched her lips to his, needing to kiss him, wanting to show him just how very much he meant to her.
Their kiss was hungry, fevered with emotion, salted by Abby’s tears of happiness. He was the man she’d dreamed of in the darkest, most lonely hours of the night. He was not a knight and not a knave, but simply the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life loving.
She’d hoped…she’d prayed that eventually she’d find a man strong enough to lean on, yet gentle enough to parent the two children who would require plenty of patience and understanding. And fate had delivered Luke to her doorstep…the answer to her prayers.
“I think I fell in love with you that very first day I met you,” he said when their kiss finally ended.
“That was lust, not love,” she said teasingly.
He grinned. “Trust me, I lust for you and probably will continue to lust for you until we’re both old and gray. But I know the difference between lust and love. And I love you, Abby. I don’t want a divorce. All I want is to be a good husband to you and a good father to Jason and Jessica.” And with these words he claimed her lips again in a kiss of infinite love.
Tears of joy coursed down Abby’s cheeks. He ended the kiss and smiled at her. “Please…please wipe those tears away. If Jason sees them, he’s liable to cripple me for life.”
Abby laughed through her tears, and with his fingertips he gently wiped the tears away. “Promise me…” she began, her love for him so intense it shimmered inside her like a million brilliant lights. “Promise me we’ll weather the storms of life together. Promise me that you’ll love me forever.”
He grinned, that lazy, sexy grin that always lit a fire in the depth of her soul. “That’s the easiest promise I’ve ever made.” Again he placed his palms on the sides of her face. “I promise that I’m going to love you until the day I die, and even in death, we’ll find each other and share eternity loving each other.”
“And I pr
omise the same thing,” she replied, wondering if it were possible for her to be any happier than she was at this very moment.
“I’m not singing down at the Honky Tonk anymore,” he said. “The only singing I want to do now is for Jessica and Jason. They are the best audience I could ever have.”
“We need to go tell them that you’re going to stay, that you’re going to be their daddy from now until forever.”
“Yeah, we need to tell them. But first…” He stood and pulled her into his arms for another kiss, this one filled with passion, with commitment, with love.
Abby’s heart sang with the knowledge that this was only the beginning for them…the beginning of a life together and of dreams realized. They were now, truly and forever, a family.
ISBN: 978-1-4268-8379-8
TO WED AND PROTECT
Copyright © 2002 by Carla Bracale
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Silhouette Books, 300 East 42nd Street, New York, NY 10017 U.S.A.
All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.
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†Sisters
‡Mustang, Montana
††The Delaney Heirs
To Wed and Protect Page 19
