“Perhaps.” He was thinking of Roy, who acted so easygoing and happy to be working for the Costa family . . . but he was good at hiding his feelings; and his father, whose fault it was that they were in this situation in the first place, and who so resented that he was now at his younger brother’s beck and call.
Then there was his Uncle Joseph. He had given thousands of dollars to Neil’s father with the expectation that the farm would be given to him so it would remain in the family. But instead of doing that, Neil’s father had insisted on selling the farm to strangers.
Uncle Joseph had to feel betrayed and used. But would he take it out on the Schwartz family?
Finally, Neil knew that even he and his mother had entertained some dark moments. More than once Neil had fallen asleep wishing that the Schwartzes would feel some kind of pain for how they handled the sale.
When the deputy continued to say nothing, only watched him intently, Neil was uncomfortably aware that he’d indicated that every member of his family was a prime suspect.
“Hey, now, just because we were upset, that doesn’t mean that we did anything,” he blurted. “It’s a long way between missing one’s farm and setting fire to it.”
“Of course. I didn’t say I thought you did anything.”
“My family doesn’t have anything to do with this.” At least, he hoped and prayed that was the case.
Deputy Beck adjusted his jacket. “All right, then.” He kind of huffed as he pulled out his smartphone. “I’d best get on my way. Brewer doesn’t pay me to stand around and chat, you know. It’s been good to talk to you. I’m sure we’ll chat again real soon.” He smiled, but the warmth didn’t reach his eyes.
“Jah. Sure,” Neil said awkwardly.
Watching him walk away, Neil realized that Eddie hadn’t actually accused him of anything. But he hadn’t said that he didn’t suspect him, either. And what did that mean, when he said that they’d be talking soon? Was that a hint?
He hoped not. When he got home, he was going to have to have a real close conversation with his parents and Roy. Actually, they should probably get together and do some thinking about who could be a suspect besides them. Maybe he should talk to Junior at work about that, too. Junior was a good manager and seemed to trust him.
Yeah. They definitely needed to do some thinking about who didn’t seem happy that the Schwartz family had moved to town . . .
As he stood on the land that he always thought he’d inherit, Neil realized that something had just happened. This place didn’t feel like home anymore.
Instead, when he thought of home, he thought of that cramped house that they’d all imagined was too small but seemed to still hold everything that they really needed. Home was where his family was. It was where the people he cared about were.
And when he thought of his job, he didn’t think about this farm, he thought about his many responsibilities at Horse Cave Salvage. His perception had changed before he was even aware of it. Maybe before he was even ready for it.
But still, it had happened.
Why was that?
CHAPTER 23
Thursday, December 21
When Deputy Beck joined Sheriff Brewer and her father, Susanna noticed her mother was returning to the house and the fire truck had left. She knew where Traci was now—but Amanda . . . ?
Well, she’d finally left the comfort of Dale Kaufmann’s arms but was still talking very closely to him. Her face was tilted up and she was smiling into his eyes like he was wonderful.
She’d never seen her sister look at a man like that before. It took her off guard, but Susanna couldn’t say that she found fault with Amanda’s choice. So far, Dale Kaufmann had been very nice and solid. He also had a kind way about him.
But still, she couldn’t understand when their attraction had blossomed into something so easy and almost peaceful. What had they discovered about each other so fast? Several times when she and Neil had made any sort of connection, it seemed to be accompanied by another three steps back.
She had, though, just moments ago found solace in his arms. But after he released her, she’d been so flustered that she’d run off to check on her parents. Now, she realized, she still felt unsure how to act around him.
Butterflies filled her insides as she saw she was about to find out. Neil was walking toward her, looking so solid and strong . . . and clearly worried.
“Ach, Susanna,” he said, his voice as deep and scratchy with emotion as it had been the night they’d first met. “I’m so sorry about all this.”
“There’s no need for you to apologize. None of this is your fault.”
His expression turned pained. “I know that, but I still feel like I’m a reminder of everything that your family has been going through since you moved to Horse Cave. You’ve had such high hopes, but all that’s happened since you’ve gotten here is one tragedy after another. I can’t think of a single thing that would give you any comfort.”
Susanna was struck by both his honesty and his compassion for her perspective. He’d described what they’d been going through fairly well, too. But not in its entirety. “You are comforting me just by being here.”
“Yeah, right.” His lips pursed. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make this about me or my feelings. I am only trying to be honest with you. As honest with you as I possibly can.”
If he could be completely frank, then she could, too. “I appreciate that. And you are exactly right. Our life has felt as topsy-turvy as some of these windy, hilly roads around here.” Looking out toward the road, she said, “Some days I feel like all I can do is simply hold on or I’m going to fall.”
“And if you fall?”
Well, that was the crux of it, wasn’t it? She feared either her heart or her body was going to be hurt.
Unused to voicing her fears, she looked at him hesitantly. “If I fall, Neil, I know I won’t break . . . but I don’t know how easy it will be to get back on my feet.”
“If you fall, I hope you will reach out a hand. If you do, I have a feeling you might be surprised about who is going to help you get back up.”
“Are you talking about yourself or the Lord?”
A glimpse of humor appeared in his eyes. “Maybe both?”
She chuckled. “If both of you are here for me, I will be mighty grateful.”
He shook his head in wonder. “I never imagined you’d be talking to me like this.” His throat worked as he visibly struggled for words. “I’m glad of it.”
“Neil, I promise, I never thought you did this.”
“I never would deliberately set a fire like that. Never.”
“I believe you. But why . . .” She broke off, unsure of how to verbalize her question. Finally, she just asked the obvious. “What is wrong?”
“I am afraid the sheriff suspects someone in my family has something to do with all of this.”
A chill raced through her. “Did he say that?”
“Not in so many words, but it was implied. We talked about who has the most to gain from running you off the farm. Deputy Beck pointed out that my family does.”
“Are you confessing that you’ve been behind all of this?” She was teasing.
“Nee! Of course not.”
“Then why are you so worried?”
“Because I can see how the sheriff might think that way. I’m embarrassed to say that no one in my family kept their pain at bay. We all shared our frustration openly. It was wrong.”
He looked so upset, she yearned to comfort him. But how could she? He was right—his family’s resentment was so strong that it had made their first weeks here both awkward and painful. “Do you still blame my parents for buying your farm?”
“Nee. You did what anyone would have done. You found a good deal and took advantage of it. Why wouldn’t you want to do that?” He exhaled. “We, well, Roy and I, we now realize that we put the blame on your daed’s shoulders because coming to terms with the fact that it was our father who lost our sa
vings was too hard.”
“Is that what happened?”
“Jah. He borrowed money he couldn’t repay, and he eventually made the choice to sell the property instead of just giving it to my uncle.”
This was the first time she’d heard him mention an uncle. “Who is he?”
“My uncle Joseph.” Grimacing, he said, “He’s my father’s younger brother.”
“You don’t look like you care for him that much.”
He laughed. The sound was the opposite of joyful. Instead, it was hard and bitter. “I do and yet I don’t.” Looking bleak, he said, “I guess my feelings for him could be best described as complicated.”
“Ah.”
He blinked, as if something had just occurred to him. “Listen, Susanna, you need to know something. It’s something I’m going to have to talk to Sheriff Brewer and Deputy Beck about, too. Even if y’all hadn’t bought our farm, we still would have had it up for sale. We couldn’t afford the land and my father would never give in to my uncle.” After a pause, he added, “And even if y’all left tonight, we wouldn’t move back.”
“Because you can’t afford it.”
“Because we can’t afford it . . . and because we’ve moved on. All of us have realized that this land was like an albatross around our necks for years. Now that the weight of the bills and debts isn’t weighing us down, we’re beginning to find happiness in other places.”
“Really?”
“I enjoy my job at Horse Cave. And Roy, well, I think he has enjoyed working at the Englisher’s farm. It’s a big place, really big, actually. The family who owns it seems to value him, too.”
“That’s important.”
“I’ve told him much the same thing.” His eyes brightened. “Even my mother has found new life, baking for others. She’s got quite a business started, selling to some area gift stores and bed-and-breakfasts. Why, you should see how busy she is right now.”
“If she needs help, let me know. I like to bake, too. I mean, if she wants to know me.”
Neil looked relieved to not be talking about his family’s pain. “I know she’d love your help. And I know she is going to want to know you, Susanna.”
“Because of all of this and our connection?”
“Probably. But also because of the way I can’t seem to stop talking about you.”
Once again, that warm rush of happiness filled her, taking her by surprise. “You’ve been talking about me with your family?”
“Jah. I can’t seem to stop.” His gaze swept across her face, obviously trying to take in every nuance that he could glean. “Am I the only one who has been feeling this connection?”
She shook her head slowly.
He released a sigh. “What do you think about coming over one day soon? You can meet everyone.”
“They wouldn’t get mad that I was there?”
“They would be pleased. And once you start talking about cookies and cakes, my mother is going to glow, she’s going to be so excited.”
“Hardly that.”
“You might be surprised, Susanna. Don’t forget, she lives in a house filled with men.” When she smiled at that, he said, “So, will you?”
She nodded. “I will. I think I would like to come over to your house very much.”
CHAPTER 24
Friday, December 22
The first thing Neil noticed when he woke up was that the coffee had been made and his father was pacing on the packed dirt in front of the house. Neil didn’t have to wonder what had his father so agitated. No doubt he was still thinking about yesterday’s fire. Neil knew he was.
Even if the property wasn’t theirs anymore, knowing that someone had wanted to destroy part of it felt extremely personal. His grandfather had built that shed. His father had asked him and Roy to fix some of its warped boards when they were nine and ten. It had been their first “real” job he’d given them to do on their own. And now it was gone. He felt as if someone had deliberately meant to taint the legacy they’d left behind.
Though Neil had relayed everything he knew to Roy and his parents the minute he’d gotten home, each bit of information had only seemed to prompt another round of questions or worries.
His mother had even teared up. She’d wondered if somehow their family was at fault, since none of them had been shy about how hard it had been to leave their home.
Neil had spent a restless night tossing and turning on his pallet on the floor. His dreams had been filled with Susanna’s green eyes, Deputy Beck’s questions, and Uncle Joseph’s words about how his father hadn’t wanted him and Roy to sleep in the big house.
He didn’t know if any of it meant anything. But it sure felt as if the Lord was trying to tell his unconscious something important.
After filling up his own mug with hot coffee, he shrugged on his favorite sweatshirt and knit cap, then went out to join his father. As he expected, the December air was damp and frigid. Neil reckoned it would do more to wake him up than the hot coffee ever could.
Daed glanced over in surprise when Neil walked out the door. After hesitating for a brief moment, he seemed to gather his thoughts. “Morning, son,” he said quietly as he walked toward Neil. “I didn’t expect to see you up for another couple of hours. We were up late last night.”
“We were, but it looks like you’ve been up for quite some time.”
“I have. I guess I can’t stop thinking about that fire on our old property. It’s such a shock, you know?”
“Jah.”
“I realized this morning that I had forgotten to ask you about something else.”
“What was that?”
“Before you came home, did you stop by Joseph’s house and speak to him about the fire?”
“Nee.” An uneasy feeling that he couldn’t explain settled in his chest. “Did you want me to? If so, I can go over there now.”
“No! I mean, there ain’t no need for that. He probably wouldn’t even remember what shed you were talking about.”
“Are you sure? You told me once that you and he used to play hide-and-seek near there.”
“You got that wrong, Neil. Joseph and I didn’t ever play there.”
His father was staring at him directly, practically willing him to take back his words. Neil knew he wasn’t wrong, though. He and Roy had played near that shed, too. They’d often joked with each other, saying that they hoped their relationship wouldn’t fall apart like their father and uncle’s had.
He let it go, though. After all, did it even matter? The shed was gone now. “It’s a blessing the Schwartz family didn’t have anything of worth inside there.”
“A true blessing, indeed.” His father sighed. “I know there ain’t anything we can do to help them, but I feel like we should go over there and lend our support.”
That took Neil by surprise. “What do you mean?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Maybe offer to lend a hand?”
Neil had a feeling that the Kaufmanns were already going over there today to help clean up the remains of the fire. By the time Neil and his father could get there, most likely everything would already be done. “I guess I could ask,” he murmured.
“I’m sure there’s no need to ask permission to go over there. After all, all we want to do is help clear the land.” Looking more assured, he added, “Then, of course, we need to discover what they know.”
“About what?” asked Neil.
“About who they think set the fire.”
“I believe they are letting Sheriff Brewer figure that out.”
“Maybe so, though they must have some ideas. You know, they’ve experienced so many accidents and scares. I don’t know how they are sleeping each night. Actually, I’m mighty surprised they haven’t packed up and left yet.”
His father really did sound surprised. Realizing his hand was unsteady, Neil clenched it into a fist. “Susanna seems to think that’s what the perpetrator’s goal has been. For whatever reason, he wants the
m to pack up and move back to Ohio.”
“But they haven’t.” He smiled grimly.
That response made him feel uneasy. Pushing it away, Neil said, “I’m really worried about Susanna. Yesterday’s fire really scared her.”
“I bet.” Daed lifted the mug to his lips, seemed to notice that it was empty, then set it back down again. “I feel somehow responsible for their troubles, Neil.”
“Why do you say that?”
“You know how I acted.” He waved a hand. “How I’ve been acting. I knew I failed you all when I lost so much money.” His voice turned hoarse. “First, I believed that man who said investing in the area south of here was a good idea. I didn’t even check to see if it was habitable. So stupid.”
“Daed, it was an honest mistake. You weren’t the only man in Hart County to be taken in by his smooth words.”
“You’re right. I wasn’t. But I was one of the few who was too proud to confess my mistake to my wife and sons. Instead, I only confessed to Joseph.”
“And he took advantage of you.”
His gaze sharpened before his expression went flat again. “Did he? I don’t know anymore. All I do know is that the more I owed, the more reckless I became. Gambling is a sin, yet I did it anyway.”
Neil didn’t want to rehash all of his father’s mistakes. It didn’t matter, what was done was done. But he did want to know more about Joseph. “I talked to Uncle Joseph the other evening.”
“Why?”
The question caught him off guard. “He was sitting alone when I was walking home. I felt sorry for him, I guess. I ended up sharing a cup of coffee with him.” Before his father could say anything about that, he continued. “He said that he offered to have Roy and me live with him.”
“He told you that?” Pure bitterness filled his voice. Again, Neil was caught off guard.
“You never mentioned that to me. Did you tell Roy?”
“Of course not.” His father was staring at him with an expression full of scorn. “You don’t belong over there. Not with him.”
Now Neil felt even more confused. Switching tactics, he said, “Daed, if you want to go see the Schwartzes, I’ll go with you. Mamm, too.”
The Gift Page 14
