by Jo Raven
My ribs burn, my jaw aches. It hurts, but it also feels good. The way his tongue licks inside my mouth, finding every sensitive spot, it’s driving me crazy. Never knew there was a direct hotline from my mouth to my dick.
Dimly I remember that this is about paying him back, that it’s about his pleasure, but it’s difficult to think when he’s fucking my mouth with his tongue, his hard-on is sliding against my stomach, and small shocks of need dance down my spine, gathering at the base of my cock, making it hang heavy between my legs. This is getting me hard, it’s—
He unfastens his mouth from mine and draws back, panting. “No, dammit. Not like this.”
“Like what?”
God, I want… I need something. Not sure what it is, but it involves Raine and his body, his mouth and his hands and his dick...
He turns off the water and steps out of the shower to grab a towel. “Like we have to have sex. Tonight isn’t about that.”
Then what is it about? I draw a blank as he drapes the towel over me and starts drying me off.
“Look,” I try and cut off as he wipes the towel over my face. Start again. “Thank you. For… all this.” I glance around at the bright, clean bathroom, the fluffy towel in his hands. “For taking me in from the cold, for letting me use your shower. It’s really fucking kind of—”
“Jase.” Just that, this nickname he insists on giving me, and it shuts me up. He leans in until our noses almost touch, and I go cross-eyed, trying to focus on him. Goddammit, such gorgeous eyes. “What I meant was… this isn’t about me. It’s about you.”
I blink. Wait for his words to make sense.
What is he talking about?
“About you,” he says again. “Tonight you have the evening off. We’ll eat, and watch TV, and talk.”
I swallow hard. Cuz it all sounds good, too good, a repeat of that night when I fell asleep on him on the sofa, a night I often find myself daydreaming about—but the talking part?
Yeah, that. Why do I think he’s about to ask from me so much more than I’m able to give?
Chapter Twenty-Three
Raine
Tonight has a déjà vu feel to it, though last time Jason didn’t look so worn and defeated. And I still have to apologize.
“Come on.” I have to steady him as he steps out of the shower. Damn, even bruised and exhausted, he’s the hottest guy I’ve ever met, with that fine-boned face and thick dark hair, the soft mouth and that set of wide shoulders, almost too wide now for his slender frame.
It kills me that he feels like he has to pay me back with sex. Having him here… that’s basic human decency, and he’s not a random stranger. He helped me, acted kindly toward me, and how did I repay him? With mistrust and accusations. My fault for making him feel he owes me, when I’m the one in debt.
He stumbles as we enter the living room, and I wrap my arm more securely around him. He’s scowling, probably unhappy he has to lean on anyone for any reason. I’m not sure I’ve ever met anyone as fiercely independent as Jason. I bet he had to become this strong to survive, and the thought makes me fucking sad.
But when I tug on him, all but hauling him the last few feet to the sofa, he shoots me a flash of a faint smile that turns my heart over.
Fuck, what is it with this guy that has me so twisted up inside? I need to protect him, and hold him, and pleasure him, and… and I’ve never felt this way before, ever, in my whole goddamn life.
He groans when I lower him on the sofa, and the map of pain on his body makes me so angry all over again that I see red. Whoever did this number of him should choke on his own dick and die.
Motherfuckers.
Yeah, Jason and I really need to talk—about who did this to him, what Simon is holding over his head, how he plans to get out of it.
But first I need him comfortable, fed, warm. Recovering from everything he’s been through this past week. I grab a blanket I keep folded on the back of the sofa for cold nights and drape it over him. I should get him some sweats, but he looks about to drop into sleep, and he needs to eat.
Jesus, look at me going all pussy-soft, fussing over the guy. Ocean wouldn’t believe his eyes.
“Pizza okay?” I ask. “It’s leftovers, but I’ll warm them up.”
He’s staring at me, his expression not blank exactly, but more… bewildered. The blanket has pooled in his lap, and I tear my gaze away from all that beautiful ink and taut muscles, the small brown nipples, the strong lines of his chest and arms.
His eyes dip to my dick. Yeah, I’m still hard. How could I not be with him around, after touching him and kissing him, and feeling his cock stir against my thigh? I’d have to be dead not to want him.
But not now. I go into the kitchen to prepare dinner, so distracted by his presence a few feet away I barely avoid burning the pizza, and then my hand as I take out the pan from the oven.
Jeez, Raine.
My dick is still happy and damn hard, a hazard in the tight confines of my kitchen. I’m so hard I have to stop, leave the pan on the counter and count backward from fifty, trying to empty my mind of sexy thoughts involving Jason.
Nothing works. I probably should go rub one out while he eats, before I forget my good intentions and do something unforgivable, like make him think I was lying and that he has to bend over for me.
No, dammit. My priority is him and what he wants. I may be so hard I ache, but sex is the last thing he needs right now.
Maybe later, another day, after he’s recovered, and I’ve gained his trust. When he can let go and relax with me, let arousal overtake him, let me pleasure him, and show him how it could be. I may not have much experience, but one thing I know for sure it that both parties should have a good time. Wanting and liking your partner makes a hell of a difference, and I sure want and like Jason...
Question is, what about him? Does he feel the same way? How the fuck will I know, when it’s his job to make me think so? When he thinks he owes me?
The same questions that have plagued me all along, and still no way of knowing.
The pizza is good. Reheated it’s even better. I’m sitting beside Jason on the sofa, and pretend I’m not dying to pull him to me.
It’s quiet. We’re wolfing down the food like our life depends on it, our chewing the only sound in the room. I have the TV on but muted, on a sports channel. I don’t know if Jason gives a shit about sports, but it’s not like we’re really watching.
Well, maybe he is. He’s gazing in that direction, vaguely, and I’m… well, I’m watching him. Guilty as charged.
His gaze looks kind of unfocused, as if he’s lost in thought, or falling asleep while eating. Can’t tell from this angle, although it might be useful to know, in case I need to perform a Heimlich maneuver to save his life.
Not that I’ve dusted up my first aid skills in years. And I’d much rather perform mouth to mouth on him, and some other maneuvers that involve skin to skin contact.
Jesus fuck, I’m so gone. This is sick.
But the sneering voice I heard inside my head over the years doesn’t make an appearance. It’s calm and silent in my mind, letting me think, and feel.
“So…” I put the crust on the pizza down, then change my mind and shove it into my mouth, too. “What happened last week?”
That much for not asking until he’s rested, huh. Great job, Raine.
His face goes white. He shoots me a haunted look and puts down the piece of pizza he’s been eating. “What?”
Shit. The problem is, how can I help him if I don’t know the facts? “Simon. His men. How did they catch you after you left that night? What happened?”
“You’re better off not knowing,” he whispers.
I swallow a sigh. “Who is Simon to you? What do you owe him?”
He swallows and puts his plate down. “He’s my pimp. I owe him money.”
“That’s bullshit.”
His face hardens, red splotching his pale cheekbones. “Fuck you.”
“Wha
t is he extorting you over? Why do you stay at this Club? What are you so scared of?”
“Fuck you,” he says again, but it’s just a breath of a sound. His eyes are huge and full of ghosts.
“If it was just money he wanted from you, I bet you’d fight him. Is it drugs? Come on, Jase—”
“I fought him at first. He called his goons to beat me up. Broke my ribs. Cracked my arm.”
Fuck. I wince at the dead tone of his voice. But that isn’t the whole truth, either. “He threatened your friends, didn’t he? That’s why you’re sending them away.”
“That’s not…” He rubs a shaking hand over his face. “Who the hell told you that?”
“Josie.”
“Fuck. Fuck.” He’s trembling now, the breath rattling in his chest. “Why were you talking to her? I can’t…”
Holy shit. “Jason. I was only trying to find you. I looked for you all week, and I was worried. Hey.”
“Nobody can know. Nobody.” Sweat is beading on his forehead. His eyes are wild.
“I won’t tell anyone. I swear. I fucking swear. Look at me.” I grab his face in my hands, his stubble scratching at my palms. “I won’t betray you. I’m on your side. Okay?”
His gaze collides with mine, and he stares hard at me. I don’t know what he’s looking for, but I’ll wait until he finds it. Until I’m what he needs.
For this man, I’ll fucking wait.
“You swear,” he breathes at last. “You swear you won’t tell. You don’t understand.”
We’ve covered that already. But I think I’m starting to understand a lot more than I did a few weeks ago.
About Simon Gomez.
About Jason Vega.
About myself.
The need to kiss him is too strong. His eyes are velvet dark, his mouth so close to mine. But I manage to keep myself in check.
“Rest now,” I tell him. “You’re safe here.”
“Safe,” he whispers, as if he doesn’t believe it. “I can’t.”
“This,” I roll my eyes at my small living room, “is your home. This sofa has your name on it. You can stay here every night if you like. Every damn night, I swear. No strings attached. No payments. Hell, I’ll give you the spare key.”
He blinks once. Twice. “What are you doing?”
I reply truthfully, “I can’t stand the thought of you sleeping out in the fucking cold.”
That’s not all, but it’ll have to do for now.
“No, I…” He shakes his head a little. “What are you doing to me?”
My turn to blink. “Keeping you warm.”
“You’re crazy.” But his lips tip up in a faint, quick smile. “I should be out, working.”
“Fuck, not tonight,” I whisper and tug him against me until his head is pillowed on my shoulder. “God help me, I’ll pay if I have to, but tonight you watch TV with me and sleep in my arms.”
He rolls his head on my shoulder, and I can feel his gaze on me. “Why?”
It’s barely a whisper, so low I’m not even sure I heard it.
So much I want to say. I try to untangle my thoughts. I tug him closer, and his long body fits against mine, his short hair tickling my neck. I run my fingers through it, through their silkiness.
Because you’re worth it. Because it’s the least I can do. Because… I like you. A lot.
But I don’t say that. Feels like it’s too soon, like he won’t buy it.
“I wanted… to thank you for saving my ass back in that alley. For putting your life on the line for me. I’m sorry I was such a dick to you all this time. I’ll make it up to you.”
It sounds like I’m paying him back for helping me out, and I hate it, but that’s how Jason’s mind works. How his world operates. I get that now.
I wait for his reply, but he says nothing. Then I glance down and find him fast asleep.
Figures.
I stay still, staring at the TV without really seeing anything, the weight of him against me so fucking unbearably sweet I can’t help but wish for more. To have him in my arms every day, every night, to protect him, to kiss him, to keep him.
Mine. He’s mine, I think, nobody else can have him, and holy shit… What the fuck do I do now?
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jason
“That the guy you set Josie to watch?” Adam asks, lounging his slender body against the wall beside me, a lit cig between his lips. He shoves white-blond hair from his face and fixes his icy-blue gaze on me. “That Ryan guy.”
“Raine.” I speak his name automatically, and then what Adam says sinks in. “He’s here?”
“Dude, he’s staring at us. Is he turning into a regular?”
“Nah.” I pass a hand over my hair, lick my lips. Do my best not to glance in the direction Adam is looking. “Is he coming this way?”
“Yeah. Oh boy, he’s hot. Mind if I take a turn with him?”
Irrational anger sparks deep inside of me. “Fuck off.”
“I thought you were avoiding him.”
I clench my fists and don’t answer, because yeah, I’ve been avoiding Raine, but…
Guy’s damn persistent, coming around in the evenings just to check on me, bring me a bagel and coffee in the morning. This has been going on for almost a week now, and I don’t know what he’s up to. It’s suspicious.
But I find myself smiling as he approaches. Jesus, Jason. Get a grip.
“Jase.” His deep blue eyes sweep over me, lingering on my face, then my chest, then my package. I wonder if he realizes what he’s doing. “What’s up?”
“You tell me.” I nod at his crotch and lift a brow.
He frowns at me, then glances down at himself, and blushes.
He actually blushes. If he hadn’t pinned me like that in the shower the other night and jacked us off together, I’d swear the man is a virgin. “What?” he mutters.
“How’s it hanging?” I smirk at him, and notice the bulge in his pants growing larger.
Oh yeah, he’s definitely rocking a boner. From checking me out, or was he thinking of me as he drove over here?
That’s a heady thought, and predictably, pressure starts gathering in my balls, my dick starting to stir. That rare rush of pleasure always startles me, and I lean back against the graffiti-covered wall to recover my cool.
I know he wants me. He never pretended otherwise, never tried to hide his reaction. I get lust. When he’s looking at me like this, we’re speaking the same language. This, his hard dick, his flushed face, his arousal, I can understand. I know what to do with it.
“I just came by to see how you’re doing,” he says, jamming his hands in his pants pockets.
Too late to hide that monster erection, though.
“Ah huh. I’m fine.” Bruises are fading. Thanks to Raine’s morning offerings and a burger I managed to grab at midday, I’m stable. Simon and his men haven’t shown their faces these past few days, and I try not to think of the white powder, and of the payment due soon. Very soon. “As you can see.”
He nods, as if agreeing with me, and swallows hard. “Yeah.”
“Wanna take me home?” I ask, letting my head fall back, looking at him from under my lashes. “I can take care of you.”
“What I want,” another swallow, another sweep of that deep blue, hot gaze over me, “is to take care of you.”
He looks startled at the admission, but I barely notice, because his words strike me deep, somewhere I can’t place, making my breath hitch.
I struggle with it. “We can take care of each other, how about that?”
“Jesus, Jason, that’s not what I mean, and you know it.”
I wink at him. “But does your cock know it?”
“Ah, fucking hell.” He turns to the side and rubs a big hand over his face. I gaze at him, so handsome, so sexy. So determined not to fuck me. To make me believe he wants something else from me.
But what?
“Just tell me what you want,” I try again.
Adam is giving me a questioning look from across the street where he’s parked his ass—for a good view of us, I’ll bet. Fucking voyeur.
“Never mind,” Raine mutters. His brows are drawn together when he turns back toward me. “You’re right. I want you to come home with me.”
Okay then. “Forty for a BJ, hundred for a fuck, and…”
“And what?”
He’s watching me, and I lose my train of thought. I’m looking at his lips, and thinking that I’d totally throw in a kiss for free. Hell, I’d let him do me against the wall for free, if he decides he wants to, and fuck the consequences.
Shit.
“Here.” He fishes out his wallet from his back pocket and pulls out forty bucks. He shoves the bills at me. “Shall we get going?”
I take the money and nod, then push off the wall and start after him. I clench my fist, crushing the bills, and don’t know what my fucking problem is. He paid. I’m going to give him a BJ. Everything’s okay with the world. He’s a customer…
…and he’s not. He’s more than that.
