by J. L. Ostle
“You have five months to be with your sister. You shall go to the charity events first but you can tell her that you are running away. I don’t want her knowing about our arrangement, is that clear? If we find out you told her, the deal is off and we bring you back here. You won’t be able to see her again,” Dad says, lighting up a cigar. I know after my five months they wouldn’t let me see her again anyway but at least I have five months to be free, to do as I please. My head is buzzing with all the possibilities.
“I understand.”
“Good, now go. If you disappoint us from now until you go, we may take it back, don’t let us down.” I nod my head and stand, leaving them behind. I walk to the library and use the computer to message Lake. I’m going to see her. I’m going to see my big sister. I feel tears slide down my cheeks, but these are tears of happiness.
“How did you find me?” I ask shakily and they walk past me into the hotel room and look around.
“You honestly didn’t think we would let you go without knowing where you would be?” Mom laughs and hearing it again send shivers down my spine. “Time is up Sky; you are coming with us.” I’m about to say something when I see Dominic walk out and look between us. Thank God he decided to put on his clothes.
“Sky, everything alright?” he asks me, stepping to my side and I notice my parent’s eyes darken but when Dominic turns, they put on their masks that show how perfect and adoring they are, even though they are anything but.
“Yes. Dominic these are my parents Claudia and Paul. Mom, Dad, this is Dominic, the lead guitarist of the band.” They shake hands and I stand there, not sure what to say next.
“Dominic is it okay if we talk to our daughter alone? We haven’t seen her in such a long time, we want to catch up,” Mom says sweetly and Dominic nods his head.
“Sure, I’ll be at the gym if you need me.” He kisses the side of my head and leaves.
Because Chris is still in his room, I guide Mom and Dad to my own and smile when I notice Dominic tidied the bed, making it look like nothing happened. He’s so considerate. I’m brought back to the present when I feel a slap across my face and my hair being pulled back.
“I’ve seen your music video, how you whore yourself about on stage, dating some punk rocker, now this Dominic is kissing you. This is what you do when we were so kind to let you see your sister? You throw it in our faces? Have you spread those legs for every guy whose given you attention? Have you turned into some whore?” she seethes in my ear. She turns me around and slaps me on the same cheek Jensen back handed me on and I fall to the ground.
“I haven’t slept around; I promise; I did what I was told. I didn’t expect for any of this to happen,” I plead to them, tears falling and they both look down at me like I am dog muck on their shoe.
“You better not have. You are lucky no one has noticed it’s you, with your hair and makeup and the using the last name your sister chose when she decided not to be part of this family anymore.” I want to scream that she and dad are the ones who made her leave. “You are lucky you haven’t ruined our family name. Now get your things, we are leaving.” I start panicking. I don’t want to leave; I want to at least say goodbye.
“Mom, if I leave now they would look for me, thinking something happened. They know I wouldn’t go without saying goodbye. Please, I am begging you, please let me have this.” I am literally on my knees, pleading.
“Fine, we don’t want any hassle with those boys. You have until tonight,” Dad says and I stand and watch Mom leave but Dad quickly turns around grabs my wrist and starts twisting it. “If you think about running, we will find you.” He lets go and leaves. I fall back to the floor and sob. I cry for what I am going to be leaving and the future that I am going to have to face.
How stupid was it that I thought I could actually get away and never go back? I knew deep down I couldn’t run from my past.
I don’t know how long I sit there but I know someone may look for me any minute and I can’t tell them what’s wrong. I jump in the shower and turn the water to the highest temperature, scalding my white skin. How am I going to say goodbye? I know Lake wouldn’t let me go back, she would fight, but I know if I don’t go I will be ruining their futures.
I go back to my room and sit at the desk and write Lake a letter, telling her the truth, telling her about the contract that I signed with our parents. That if I stayed, I would be destroying everything she worked for. I put the letter in an envelope and put it on my pillow, knowing she would come back here to find any evidence of what happened.
Then I sit there and try to think of how to say goodbye without Lake doing something stupid. I look through my bags and find Kym’s number. I go to the phone near my bed and dial and it rings a few times before she answers.
“Hi Kym, its Sky.”
“Miss me already?” She laughs and I chuckle with her.
“I need a favor.” I feel my lips tremble.
“Sky, what’s wrong?” Her voice is concerned and this time I cry down the phone, hearing her tell me to take a few deep breaths and to tell her what’s wrong. I finally start to calm down and I tell her everything. I tell her about my parents, my past with Lake, the deal, the contract and me now having to leave.
“I need your help with this.” I sniffle.
“Fuck, Sky, no wonder you are who you are. You having been brought up like that is horrible and now you’re going to go back? To them controlling you? To marry some dick who will probably be fucking other girls along the way?” I feel the tears sliding down, knowing that it’s the truth.
“I signed a contract. I can’t hurt Lake; she has done so much for me.” I grab a tissue and blow my nose.
“Fuck, okay, I am doing this for you, even though I want to get a blunt knife and stab their black hearts.” I giggle down the line.
“Thank you.” I giggle again. “Thank you for helping me.”
“Of course. Leave everything to me. Just tell Lake and the guys where to go, we will do the rest.”
“Thank you.” I’m about to hang up when she says my name.
“I’m sorry you have to go through this, you are a good person. I wish I could do more.”
“I know.” We say our goodbyes and hang up.
I walk to the window and look out to the beautiful scenery. At least I got to travel. At least I know I lost my virginity to Dominic; they can’t take that away from me. I go back to the desk and write a quick note to him, wanting him to know how much he meant to me, and leave it on the pillow next to Lake’s. I just don’t know how I’m going to cope for the rest of the day.
Kym came through for me and has set up everything that I needed. I told Lake and the guys I have something I need to tell them and to show up at club Ascended. I went to the club early to prepare myself and the manager was nice enough, even though I’m sure he was paid well.
I walk to the stage to see Absolute Addiction setting up the instruments and walk towards them. I hear a scream and see Kym running to me then wrapping her arms around me.
“I can’t believe you will be leaving all this.” She looks around her, and I look around too, seeing everything for the last time.
“Just make sure you live everyday like it’s your last, okay? Promise me you will be happy.” I start to cry and she cries too, holding me once again.
“God, you have turned me into a girl.” She wipes her eyes and we laugh. “We are setting everything up so, if you come with me, we’ll make sure the sound system is okay.” Her hand goes in mine and I can’t help but smile, remembering when she kissed me. That’s something I’m happy my parents will never know about.
“Sky?” I turn around and see Jensen setting up his guitar. There’s concern and pity in his eyes.
“Jensen,” I say quietly.
“Kym told me everything. I am so sorry but, if you let me, maybe I can help, maybe I can make them change their minds.” He walks to me and grabs my hands.
“I can’t, my future is set in stone.”
I shrug. “I’m going to marry a guy who will see me as a trophy or a possession. This is my life Jensen.” I try to not cry again but he pulls me to his chest and I let a few tears fall.
“I don’t want that life for you.” I hold his shirt in my fist.
“Neither do I.” I pull back. “Thank you for helping me with this. Are all the guys ready?” I try and change the subject. I look around the club to see people starting to file in.
“Yeah, everyone is in place. Are you sure you want to do this?” I nod my head at him.
“I have to; it is what it is. Come on, this will be your only chance to play with me.” I talk in the microphone to make sure it sounds okay and I watch Jensen, Kym, Lloyd and Travis try out their instruments. They go in the back and wait till Lake and the guys show up. I stand there watching everyone sit down, getting drinks, talking and laughing and I smile, knowing that I experienced it all. I experienced a normal life.
If it wasn’t for the deal I made, I would have never seen this stronger side of myself; never would have experienced whole hearted laughter, to be free, have my first kiss, my first date. To fall in love. I will cherish these memories for the rest of my life.
I hear screaming and see Lake and Dominic walk through the doors heading to the table I reserved for them. Lake is laughing as Leon and Chris follow behind them. Lake looks up to the stage and sees me and she smiles, pointing me out to the other guys. When I look at Dominic, his smile is so beautiful and I know that I am going to miss him so much.
I walk back to the microphone and hold it, gathering all my strength for what I’m about to do. I smile to my friends, to my family.
“Hello everyone. I’m not sure if you know me but my name is Sky and I want to sing a song to my family, with the help from my new friends.” AA comes out and the crowd goes wild; I chuckle at the response. “Lake, Dominic, Leon and Chris, I want to thank you for welcoming me into your lives, for making me a part of your family. You have done so much for me; I will never forget it. I love you all so much.” I look at Jensen and he starts to play.
I hold the microphone stand in my hand as I start to sing Power of Goodbye by Madonna, swaying to the beat. I feel like this song has the emotion I’m feeling; the words resembling my experience of the freedom I so long craved, but knowing in the end I was always going to leave.
I hope they can read between the lines of what I’m trying to say. I look at Lake as she smiles up at me; I am trying so hard not to cry. I look at Jensen during a line of the song and his eyes are trained on me with amazement. He was a lesson I had to learn, not everything is as it seems.
I look back to the crowd and look at Dominic as I sing to him. I sing to the what-ifs, to the future of sharing many happy memories even if it was just friendship. I take in a deep breath and sing with every inch of my heart.
I let the music take over, knowing this will be the last time I will ever feel this euphoria of what a song, what the music, does to me; letting me be in another world. I sing the word goodbye to the family I am leaving behind; singing to the person I turned into, to the person I was happy being.
I feel the tears start to slide down my cheeks but I continue, I look at Lake and see she is looking at me with concern. I look up to the doors just as my parents walk through, looking at me like I’m a stranger, their faces emotionless, and I notice Jefferson right behind them; my future husband.
Lake follows my gaze and she stands up. I know that now she knows what I’m saying. I’m saying goodbye to her. She screams my name but I ignore her and continue to enjoy this last moment of freedom. She says something to Dominic and he looks at my parents to Jefferson and then he stands, looking to me.
Lake comes running to the stage but, true to Jensen’s word, he got his security team to stop anyone from coming up. Lake is crying and trying to reach me but they don’t let her past. I sing to her, my voice trembling and as I sing the line, learn to say goodbye, she cries harder. I close my eyes and sway my body to the music, wanting to block all thoughts from my head just for this moment.
We walk into the club, sitting at the table Sky has reserved for us and when I see her standing up on the stage; my heart thumps louder just seeing her. I want to tell her that I want more than one night; that I want her to be mine and I want to be hers.
When I see Absolute Addiction come onto the stage, I’m confused, especially when she starts singing and during one of the lines she looks at him; looking like she has peace with what he has done even though I still want to kick his face in. Especially with him looking at her like she is some goddess. Well you ruined it you dick, I think darkly.
I watch her sing, mesmerized by her voice, and when I see tears coming from her sad eyes, I know something is wrong. I can feel it. Lake turns her head and she stands, looking petrified. She starts screaming Sky’s name but I sit there confused about what’s happening.
“Lake, what’s wrong?” I try and grab her arm.
“Our parents are here; they’re going to take her away!” She is breathing hard and fast; this time I grab her arm so she is looking at me.
“They came here this morning, what’s going on?” She looks at me, tears streaming down her face. Leon and Chris look back and forth, Leon trying to hold Lake’s hand, trying to calm her.
“Our parents aren’t nice people, Dom, they are here to get her, to take her away.” I look at her, trying to digest her words, but all that echoes in my head is they are going to take Sky away, to take her away from me. “Fuck.” Lake looks at her parents and I look and see how they smirk at Lake. There is some guy with them, probably the same age as me, and he is looking at Sky like she is meat. “That’s who she’s going to marry,” Lake whispers but I hardly hear her. Before I have time to question her, she runs to the stage, trying to get to Sky, but some guys who must be security block her path and she tries to push them away.
I look up at Sky and her eyes are closed, her body swaying to the music. Her face towards the ceiling, the light bathing her, making her look like an angel. I feel my heart beating a million times a second. I can’t let her go, how am I supposed to face each day not seeing her smile? Her big blue eyes looking at me with so much adoration, with so much love.
She opens her eyes and looks directly to me, singing to me. I feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest. I move to her and her eyes follow me. She is saying goodbye to me. I feel a tear escape and when she stops, and Jensen plays the last of the strings, she mouths to me I love you and I almost crumble to the floor.
I mouth I love you to him, the last notes being played, then the stage goes into darkness, like how my soul feels. Jensen quickly grabs my hand and stops me from leaving.
“You don’t have to do this.” He looks at me and looks behind me where I’m sure my parents are there waiting for me to come to them.
“I do. Thank you Jensen, for helping me.” I go on my tip toes and kiss his cheek. “Remember, don’t be an ass.” I smile at him and he tries to smile back but I know it’s forced.
I walk to my parents who are waiting for me, with their own security people around them. Jefferson eyes me up and down and when he grins, I feel my blood go cold. My mom grabs my arm, her nails digging into my skin. I’m moved along the crowd, hearing my sister and Dominic screaming out my name. I let the tears fall, not caring that I will be punished later for showing weakness. I know I’ll be punished as soon as I’m home either way.
Our family car pulls up and our driver, Clifford, opens the car door. He gives me a sad smile and I nod in acknowledgment. I go in after my mother, my dad following, then Jefferson. My arm gets pulled towards my mother as she glares at me.
“Hope you enjoyed your little vacation; now it’s going to go back to how things were. I think you need a reminder of how things are supposed to be,” she whispers in my ear, causing my whole body to shiver. I know I’m going to get punished as soon as we are behind closed doors.
I look out the window and see Lake and Dominic running to the car
, Chris and Leon right behind them, but it’s too late. The car starts pulling away. They run after us but Lake soon stops. Dominic keeps running and my heart breaks. I see the determination but he trips and falls, his head bowing in defeat.
My lungs are burning as I see the car go around the corner and out of view and that’s when it kicks in; I’m not going to see her again. I saw her mother grabbing her, I saw Sky wince in pain; it was subtle but I saw it.
How could I be so blind to not notice that there was something wrong when I saw her with them this morning? Her whole body seemed off but I just thought she was embarrassed knowing we had just made love and seeing her parent’s right after. I had quickly tidied the room in case they came in.
“Come on man, let’s go back to the suite and talk about this.” Leon puts his hand on my shoulder and I look up to see Lake sobbing into his chest, holding onto him for dear life. I stand and we head back in silence.
I sit on the couch and look around, everything reminding me of Sky. I feel so many emotions but the one I feel the strongest is anger. I stand up and flip over the coffee table. I start throwing lamps, vases, anything I can get my hands on and when I can no longer reach anything, I fall to the floor, knowing my light is gone.
My Sky.
I feel someone’s hand on my shoulder and look up to see Lake. She kneels to the floor and places my head to her stomach as she holds me. I feel her body tremble as she cries. I wrap my arms around her, wanting to be close to Sky in any way I can.
“I’m so sorry, Dominic. I made you stay away from her and I know now that I was wrong. I saw her tell you that she loved you. I’m so sorry.” She cries even harder. I should be angry with her but I can’t, she did it to protect her sister. “She fell in love with you.”
“I don’t blame you, I understand. I just want to be on my own.” I stand up and she nods, walking back to Leon who holds her.
I walk into Sky’s room, images of what we did twelve hours ago flooding my mind; her body close to mine, her giving herself to me. The room still smells of her. I look around the room and my eyes land on two letters on her bed. I walk towards them slowly; they are addressed to me and Lake. I scream out to Lake and she runs in. I hand her the letter as I look at mine. I open it slowly and see her perfect handwriting.
