“Please forgive me for going behind your back.”
He drops down onto the floor beside me. “You are not the one who needs forgiveness in this situation.” His voice is so soft that it’s almost a whisper.
“It was so impulsive of me. I just… I was consumed with it. I was jealous of her, and I didn’t understand why you were so secretive and so angry. Now I do.”
“Jealous of her? Ava, she is not worthy of any emotion you have, certainly not jealousy.”
“But it seems like you had something with her.”
“It wasn’t like that,” he says. “But why did you want me to tell you about it when you already knew?”
“I wanted you to tell me in your words. I wanted to understand why you were so closed off about it.”
“But you read it, so you know. How can you still feel the same way about me, now that you know this?” he asks.
“Because I love you,” I reply. “It’s not as if you beat her. For whatever reason, that is what you both wanted. I don’t understand it completely, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
He shakes his head. “But I did hurt her. It was wrong.”
“And Lucia hurt you, and Steve hurt me. People get hurt sometimes.”
“What I did was worse.”
“Okay, you’re not perfect, but neither am I. I needed to know you didn’t want that type of sex anymore. You’ve assured me of that, so I’m over it now. I had to be honest with you. It was killing me that I went behind your back.”
Holding my face in his hands, he astounds me by saying, “I’m glad you read it, from her point of view. I didn’t have it in me to look you in the eye and tell you everything.”
“You’re not mad at me?” I gasp.
He shakes his head. “Not at all, because I pushed you to it, but I don’t like secrets, Ava.”
“I don’t either. But you kept secrets too.”
“You’re right.” He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. “Let’s promise no more secrets.”
I nod. “I promise.”
“Me too.”
I breathe a sigh of relief and fall into his arms.
“Wait. I want to know what you think. Do you have questions?” he asks. “Now that I know that you know everything, I just want to get this out, once and for all.”
I have a hundred questions. My head swims with them. Enzo pulls me up off the floor and sits me down in a chair. I take a deep breath to collect my thoughts, before I speak. “She said that you made her ask permission to come and that you shackled her to a bed for two days. Is it true?”
He nods his head. “Yes.”
“How did you feel when that was happening? I mean was it a turn on?”
“At the time it was a very powerful feeling to have a woman who would do anything I asked, no matter what, and she loved it.”
My stomach drops a little, but I continue. “She said you introduced her to it. Is that true?”
“That is true. I had been learning a bit about it. I suggested it to her because, well, she was drunk and clearly had a passive personality. It was easy. From then, she seemed to know when I was ready to leave her, and she’d up the ante by researching new things that we could do. She would ask, no beg, for me to do them to her. I got a lot of satisfaction out of it, so I stayed.”
I am very aware that his tone of voice is completely devoid of emotion, as if he has shut this part of his life off completely. “You told me it disgusted you eventually. What changed?” I ask him.
“As I told you before, I felt like I had become a cold, brutal man, and I didn’t want to do those things to anyone. I knew it wasn’t something I truly desired. Oddly enough, it became less sexual over time, and she just catered to me in an attempt to keep my interest. I think I sensed her weakness and took advantage of it. Like Lucia did to me…” His eyes shift down briefly, before rising back up.
“She said you were cruel to her. Is that true?”
“Yes.”
“But she liked it?”
Enzo nods. “For a time, yes, she did. I didn’t even know that we were doing it wrong. It would almost be funny, if it wasn’t so messed up. There’s nothing wrong or negative about a consenting BDSM relationship at all. We were amateurs looking up things on the internet, misguided, and jumping in over our heads. I handled it by controlling the situation, like I do most things. It’s actually quite ridiculous. Still, it is not something I would like to repeat or learn more about.”
I’m not sure what to ask next, but I’m aware that not all of my questions have been answered.
“You can ask me anything, Ava. I’ll do anything to put this past us.”
“Why wouldn’t you kiss her?”
Enzo sighs. “She was just a plaything to me. I treated her as such. Kissing, sleeping over, and eating together, those things did not happen. It was just how I was at that time.”
“She said she loved you.”
“I know.”
“Did you know she loved you?”
“Yes,” he replies.
“But you felt nothing for her?”
“Nothing.”
“You never went back?” I ask.
“Ava, my love, look at me…”
I lift my eyes to meet his.
He explains, “I never went back. Once I’m done, I’m done. I’ll remind you that this was many years ago, and it hasn’t even crossed my mind until now. A lot has changed since then. I’ve changed. And now I have you, which has been the most incredible thing. Our sex life outdoes any other experience I’ve ever had. And I know it will only get better as we learn more about each other, and our love deepens.” He reaches for my hand.
I give it to him and watch him as he kisses the back of it.
“I experimented once, decided I didn’t like it, and never did it again,” he continues. “I never thought of it again. I swear, with everything in me, that I do not want or need it. That day – that morning with you – I hesitated to play rough. I was afraid it would change how I felt about us, that it would taint the purity of our love.”
Running his fingers through his thick mane of hair, he smiles, and then adds, “But no, that’s not what happened. There is a healthy balance between what I did before and what I do with you. All of this should never have come out. I don’t know what Emma’s motivation was for writing this. I can only assume she still enjoys any attention, even if it’s negative. I just need you to believe that it was a phase, and that I want the relationship dynamic I have with you and nothing else. Even when you defy me, I respect that. I respect you.”
He moves a stray hair away from my face. “Oh, and I love you. Adore you actually.”
“There’s one more thing…”
“Yes?” he asks.
“Do you think any other women will come out, now that Emma broke the barrier? It happens all the times with these scandals.”
Enzo gives me a warm, proud smile. “You are such a smart woman. I was concerned that some of the women I was less than kind to would come forward. I was an ass, Ava, a selfish, conceited ass before I met you. You are right to be concerned about that.” He reaches out and strokes my cheek. “I’m assured that there will not be any further enlightenment on my private goings on. In fact, I’d bet money on it.”
“How did you accomplish that?” I ask.
“I have very smart people working for me, remember?” He kisses my nose.
“I feel terrible that I went behind your back. I think it’s why I got sick.”
“Amore, don’t feel bad. It’s me that feels terrible putting you through all of this. It was all so unexpected. Neither one of us knew how to deal with it. If you weren’t in my life, honestly, I would have ignored it. I wouldn’t have given it any attention at all. But now that I do have you, Ava, your happiness is all that matters.”
“But, your happiness matters too. This has been difficult for both of us. I’m glad we’re talking peacefully.”
“Yes, peacefully,�
� he agrees. “Shall we join Francesca? I’m sure she can hardly stand the suspense.” Grinning, he pulls me up from the chair.
“Yes, but just let me freshen up.” I walk to the sink and splash some cold water on my face.
When I’ve finished, Enzo opens the door to find Francesca sitting behind the large desk, trying to look nonchalant, but clearly interested in what occurred in the bathroom.
“Yes, everything is good?” she asks us.
I smile and throw a piece of gum into my mouth. “Yes, everything is good.”
****
I wake up feeling well rested. Enzo is up early, as usual, and I stretch in bed before getting up to prepare myself for the day. After a quick shower, I wrap my hair up before throwing on my yoga pants and a T-shirt. Then my phone buzzes.
Hot and Bossy: Buon giorno, amore. Went to Girasole to get work done. I’ll be home at ten to take you downtown. Ti amo. E.
Oh, better put some better clothes on then. Remembering that I meant to change Enzo’s contact name, I edit it to read HB&M – Hot, Bossy and Mine – which makes me smile. Changing into a skirt and blouse, I brush my hair, put on some eye cream and lip gloss, and call it done.
Reminding myself to ask Enzo to retrieve my birthday necklace from the safe at Girasole, I flop down on the sofa with a cup of coffee and open the newspaper. I’m expecting a pretty ordinary, boring day, which is good news to me. Turning on the television to watch the morning show, I listen as they cover the various happenings around the valley. There’s a concert in town on Sunday – some group I’ve never heard of – and the pumpkin farms are open, which is strange with temperatures still hovering above seventy degrees. And then… Shit.
“Tonight at six, we have an exclusive interview with Emma Carlyle, who recently released her memoir, What you didn’t know. Miss Carlyle has stated that this is the first and only interview she intends to give regarding the book.”
Why would you write a book and then not do any publicity about it? Surely, she didn’t think no one was going to read it? I have to admit that I’m dying with curiosity to watch this interview tonight. I wonder what she has to say for herself and her super slutty, personal memoir.
I hear the garage door open and Enzo walk in. “Ciao, amore. You look pretty. Did you sleep well?” he asks.
“I did. You?”
“Much better. How’s your stomach?”
“So far, so good – nothing like a clean conscience,” I reply, smiling, which he returns with his own gorgeous grin.
“Where are your friends?” he asks.
“Out somewhere or still asleep.” I shrug. “Emma is doing an interview about the book. It will be on channel 14 tonight.”
Enzo’s face tightens. “I know. I’ve been called about it.”
I stand and pick up my handbag. “I think we should watch it.”
Surprised, he asks, “Why do you think that?”
“Maybe she’ll share why she wrote it.”
“I don’t give a damn why she wrote it.”
“Well I care,” I say.
Enzo sighs as we walk out to the car. “If you want to watch it, we’ll watch it.”
His agreement confirms my suspicion that he’s just as interested in her motives as I am.
“But I really hope this is the end of it,” he adds. Kissing my cheek, he opens the car door for me, before getting into the driver’s side. “We need to go downtown first. I’m meeting the builder down there to look over some more plans and discuss logistics.”
“Why do you want me to come?”
Enzo glances over at me as he drives with a quirky smile on his face. “Because you’re my wife, and I want you involved in everything I do. You work there too, remember?”
I nod my head. “Is Checca coming?”
“No, she’s working on some designs for a private home she accepted.”
“Oh, I didn’t know she did private homes.”
“She didn’t,” he explains. “Checca was asked recently by a prominent businessman, here in Phoenix. She has always wanted to do residential design, so it’s a good opportunity for her.”
“Well, she’s obviously very good at it, based on my old apartment.”
We pull into the drive at the hotel and my husband turns off the engine. We sit for a moment before getting out.
“Ava, thank you for everything,” he suddenly says.
“I didn’t do anything.”
“Yes you did. You loved me through this, just like you said you would.” He leans over and kisses my cheek. “It means the world to me.”
“It’s easy to love you, Enzo.”
“Thank you for sticking by me. I know it was hard. It would have been easier to leave.”
“I’m not leaving. Will you get that in your head? I married you.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t leave,” he replies sadly.
I brush the hair from his face. “Yes, it does.”
He grabs my hand as I stroke his hair and kisses it. “You mean the world to me, Ava.”
“That feeling is mutual.”
****
We finish our business at the hotel and head back to the car. I really enjoy being a part of Enzo’s working world. It gives me a lot of insight into what makes him tick, other than the mind blowing chemistry we have as a couple.
“You need to eat. When is the last time?” Enzo asks me.
I shake my head. “I have no idea actually.”
“Well then, let’s eat. Shall we go to Marcello’s?”
“Yes, please.”
Enzo drives onto the highway and we head back to our side of town. I look over at him and he’s so damn attractive that I suddenly have an overwhelming desire to get my hands all over him. Reaching over, I stroke him through his slacks.
A smirk crosses his lips. “What are you doing?”
“Hopefully, I’m making my husband want me.” Grinning, I rub a little harder.
“Signora, your husband always wants you. You’re making driving a little difficult though. What do you expect me to do, pull the car over and ravish you?” he asks.
“Hmm, that would be nice, but, no, you can keep driving. I’ve got it under control.” I scoot closer, which isn’t difficult in the tiny sports car, and kiss his neck.
“Amore, this isn’t safe.” He tries to scold me, but I persist.
“You keep your eyes on the road, mister. We’re not in Italy anymore,” I tease, dragging my tongue up his cheek.
“Jesus, Ava, you’re so fucking sexy,” he moans.
I unbutton my blouse and reveal my cleavage to him. “It’s all for you, my prince.”
“How am I supposed to keep my eyes on the road now?” he asks, shifting his eyes from the road to me.
Giggling, I reach over to unzip his slacks. “No, Ava, you can’t.” He looks surprised, but I can tell he is enjoying every second.
I put my hand inside Enzo’s boxer briefs and rub his growing erection. He lets a small moan escape his lips. That’s my cue to continue. Leaning over, I settle down closer to the object of my desire and, releasing him from the material, I suck him gently into my mouth. Knowing I can’t do this safely, I plan to tease the poor guy for only a moment.
“Ah, shit,” he sighs.
Swirling my tongue over the tip, I lower my mouth down over his length. Then I plant a small kiss on the top and tuck it back into Enzo’s pants. After buttoning and zipping them again, I sit up straight in my seat.
He glances at me. “What are you up to, Mrs. Milano?”
“I’ll finish you off a little later, tesoro mio. Safety first,” I remind him with a wink. “Of course, it’s perfectly safe for me to take care of myself.” I lift my leg up onto the dashboard, rubbing my hands over my breasts as I do.
Enzo grins. “No, that is not safe. In fact, it might be worse.” His voice reveals his desire.
Sliding my hands up and down the inside of my thighs, I throw my head back. He reaches over and briefly runs his hands over the
curves of my breasts. Hiking up my skirt, I tickle myself through the flimsy material of my panties.
“Mmm, that feels good,” I murmur.
Suddenly, I feel the car shift dramatically to the right and Enzo pulls over with a screech.
“Is this what you want, amore? You want to drive me so crazy that I have to stop the car?”
Enzo unfastens his seatbelt and quickly moves towards me. All I can do is giggle as his hands find a place between my legs and his mouth closes over mine.
“My turn to drive you crazy, my love,” he says, flashing a phenomenally gorgeous smile at me.
“It’s working, babe – definitely working,” I speak through heavy breath.
Leaning back, I close my eyes while he devours my body in kisses. A tapping sound on the window startles both of us. Enzo sits up quickly and straightens himself, while I smooth my skirt down. Peering over my husband’s shoulder, I see a police officer standing outside.
Enzo unrolls the window. “Good afternoon, officer.”
“Everything okay here?” The officer peeks in, and I feel my cheeks burn bright red.
“Yes, officer, I’m afraid I had an uncontrollable urge to ravish my new bride.”
The man smiles, replying, “Well, it’s not the safest thing to do on the side of the freeway. Can I see your license and registration please?”
“Certainly.” Enzo hands him the paperwork and shoots me a scolding look.
The officer looks it over, hands it back, and says, “Mr. Milano, congratulations on your wedding.”
Enzo flashes a genuine smile. “Thank you.”
“Okay, you two, you’re free to go, but I would recommend staying off the road when your whims strike.” He grins.
Enzo smiles again. “Good advice, officer.”
I say nothing and avoid eye contact, while Enzo drives off.
“Did that work out as planned, bella?” he asks, starting to laugh before I can speak.
I straighten my blouse. “Not quite.”
“Well, don’t you fear, I’ll pick up exactly where I left off after lunch.”
“I do hope so.”
We exit and drive down 90th Street to get to Marcello’s. Now, I’m actually starving, both for food and my scrumptious husband.
Turn Towards the Sun Book Two: After the Rain Page 12
