“I can handle it,” he replies.
“I didn’t say you couldn’t. I’m just acknowledging what’s on your plate. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, Enzo. You’re safe with me.”
He looks up and his eyes fill with warmth. “I know I am. How do you think it was so easy to fall in love with you? I trust you with everything.”
“I know. But sometimes I think you don’t want to show me what you’re really feeling. It’s okay to feel stressed and worried.”
He sighs. “I think you’ve seen plenty of my emotions, unfortunately.”
“It’s not unfortunate. I show you my emotions all the time, warts and all. Neither of us needs to feel like we can’t be one hundred percent ourselves, even if it is ugly.”
Enzo lifts my hand from the water and rubs it across his cheek. “I adore you,” he whispers. “I know I can share with you anything I’m feeling. I think it’s just my natural instinct to keep certain things to myself. Plus I don’t want to burden you further.”
“I’m not burdened. In fact, I think it would help me if I knew that you and I felt the same way about things. Like this stupid ass book,” I add.
“I hear you, amore. I’ll try.”
“Can you pass me a towel? I’m ready to get out.”
Enzo stands and hands me one. I dry off, wrap myself in my robe and head out to the living room.
“I’ll make us some tea, amore,” he says. “Let’s see how you do with that.”
“Okay.”
I turn on channel 14, and mentally prepare myself to listen to this woman tell her story in her own words. I’m expecting it to be uncomfortable, but maybe there will be some small nugget of information that will make us feel better.
Enzo returns with two steaming mugs of chamomile and sits next to me on the couch.
“I added a little honey for you,” he tells me. “Just sip it slowly.”
“I will.”
“I saw Cassandra in the kitchen. I hope you don’t mind but I asked if we could watch this alone. It’s awkward enough for me without an audience,” he says.
“I don’t blame you.”
My attention shifts to the television as a dramatic male voice announces, “Tonight, our exclusive interview with Emma Carlyle. We’ll discuss her book, What you didn’t know.”
I watch intently as Emma steps out from backstage and walks towards a seat. She is surprisingly thin and looks very fragile, not at all like the vivacious pictures I saw on the internet. She does not smile and in fact I would say she looks downright depressed. I wonder if she regrets putting all of her personal business out in the world.
“Ava,” Enzo whispers to me, “you should know that I filed a defamation suit against her today. Alex told me she’s been hit with at least three others over the past week.”
I nod my head. That could explain her appearance; pure stress.
Emma sits down next to the female interviewer, Katelyn Jackson, who starts right away. Katelyn is known for asking tough questions and getting people to say things that viewers really want to hear. This should be good.
“Thank you for coming, Emma. Let’s just get right to it. Why did you write such a personal book?”
Emma shifts uncomfortably in her chair. “I wanted to get my story off my chest. I think the image people have of me, because of my public life, is very different from who I really am.” Her voice is girlish, soft, and delicate. She keeps her eyes shifted downward.
“But the book isn’t exactly a flattering portrayal of you, Emma. You shared a lot of private details, including your relationships with men who are married. And this information you shared about Enzo Milano came on the eve of his wedding. One has to wonder, what was your motivation?”
Emma dabs her eyes with a tissue. I don’t get it. She had to know what she was doing.
“I didn’t mean to hurt anyone,” she replies.
That’s it? That’s her response? I look over at Enzo, who is watching with a sour expression, but he continues to sip his tea.
“Come on, Emma, you didn’t mean to hurt anyone? What did you mean to do then?” Katelyn asks.
“I wanted to write this book as a confession,” she replies. “I’ve lived with this for many years and I’ve now come to a point in my life where I know things must change. I’m sorry for a lot of the things I’ve done.”
“Why not go to church and tell a priest then? Why tell the world?”
Ooh, good question.
“I wanted the men who I’ve been with to know my side of things, and I didn’t have another way to tell them,” Emma explains. “Some of them hurt me and thought it was no big deal. I came across to them as this carefree, party girl who didn’t have feelings. But I do.”
“So it’s revenge?” Katelyn asks.
“No. Not revenge.” Emma shakes her head. “It’s closure.”
The interviewer is not convinced. “Closure for who?” she asks. “You got it off your chest, but what about everyone who was affected by your confession? Some of the men you named have wives and families.”
Emma looks down. “I didn’t think it through that far.”
Is it possible that she is that stupid? Certainly, her publisher would have known what she was doing with this kind of book.
Katelyn leans back in her chair with an exasperated look on her face. “Okay, Emma. We hear you’ve been hit with several defamation suits, including one from Enzo Milano.”
“Yes, that’s true.”
“How do you plan to handle that?” Katelyn asks, leaning forward.
“I’m not at liberty to discuss the matter. I am really sorry though.”
“Are you apologizing to Mr. Milano?”
She nods her head. “And his new wife,” she replies. It’s practically a whisper.
Katelyn Jackson crinkles her nose and leans back again. The interview seems to be more like a court hearing. I look over at Enzo, who appears to be very interested in the latest development. Still, he says nothing.
Katelyn continues, “None of this makes sense. You write this torrid tell-all book, exposing your sexual exploits with every powerful man in Arizona, and then when it blows up, you act like some poor, innocent woman who is terribly contrite. It doesn’t add up.”
Emma wipes her eyes again. “I know it doesn’t seem to make sense. I honestly did not mean to cause any pain. I wrote about things that happened a long time ago, which I considered it ancient history.”
“Ancient history?” the interviewer asks. “Your feelings for Enzo Milano sounded very fresh, including how you felt about his marriage.”
Emma looks miserable for a moment. “Yes, I was sad. I was in love with him and he didn’t feel the same. Any woman would feel the way I did if they found out someone they loved was getting married.”
“Do you still love him?” Katelyn asks.
“That doesn’t really matter anymore.”
“But do you?”
She sighs. “Yes, I do.”
I breathe in deeply and Enzo leans back on the couch.
“It sounds like he had the most impact on you, sexually,” Katelyn observes.
Ugh. The question makes me cringe, but it was inevitable that the interviewer would ask as it was the main sensation in the book.
Emma nods. “It was a turning point for me, yes. He’s a very captivating individual to be around.”
“Can you tell us how you two ended up in such an extreme relationship?”
“I believe I explained it in the book.”
“Not really. You tell us he introduced you to it, but how did that happen?” Katelyn picks up the book and flips to a specific page; I assume it is one about Enzo.
Emma shifts in her seat again. “Enzo told me he was experimenting with a new lifestyle, and he asked me if I would be interested in trying it out with him. I said yes, because I couldn’t believe that Enzo Milano wanted to do anything with me. Once we got started, I realized that I preferred the submissive role and it was easy for me to cater to his tastes in t
hat way.”
“You said he refused to kiss you. Didn’t you find that odd after spending so much time with him?” Katelyn asks.
“No. First of all, it was part of his control over me and I accepted it. We didn’t really spend a lot of time together. I don’t think I ever ate a meal with him and he certainly never slept over. He just came over when he wanted to, had his way with me, and left. Over the course of a year, I only saw him eight times, but I loved every moment. Each time I hoped I could get him to stay. The sex was worth it, I guess.”
“Why do you think things changed? Why did he end it?”
Emma shrugs. “I don’t really know. It was very abrupt. It’s like he woke up one day and was over it. He said the relationship we had, if that’s what you want to call it, didn’t turn him on anymore, and that was that. I haven’t personally seen him or spoken to him since.”
“When was that?” Katelyn asks.
“2008.”
“So, he left you and now he’s married. Have you spoken to him or attempted to?”
“I called once.”
My eyes shift to Enzo, whose gaze does not break away from the television.
“Why did you call him?” Katelyn asks. “Did you expect him to speak to you?”
“Not really. I just hoped he would let me explain and apologize.”
“And did he?”
“No. He hung up as soon as he heard it was me.”
“Well, if he’s watching now, here’s your chance to say what you need to say.”
Emma looks into the camera for the first time, delicately wipes her nose with a tissue, and says, “Enzo, if you are watching, I want you to know that I’m very sorry if I’ve hurt you or your wife. I really didn’t think it was going to be as big a deal as this. I hope you can somehow forgive me.”
I look over at my husband and notice that he has zero emotion on display. Her apology is too little, too late.
The interviewer leans closer to Emma. “You said you had an announcement to share. Would you like to do that now?”
Emma straightens in her chair. “Yes. The timing of the book and my need for closure is based on my current health condition. I wrote the book as a way to release all of this, but also as a warning to other women who don’t value themselves enough. I didn’t know my own worth and I used sex as a method to get the attention of men I had no chance of keeping. I never meant to make any of them look bad. In fact, I thought I was the only one who looked like a fool. I truly mean that.”
“What is your health condition?” Katelyn asks.
“I have stage-four breast cancer. It’s terminal.” Emma’s tears flow openly.
The interviewer looks downright shocked. “Goodness, Emma, why didn’t you say something?”
“I found out a couple of months ago. By then it was too late to do anything about it.”
Whoa. This woman is so young and in her prime, and she’s dying?
Katelyn, who seems at a loss for words, reaches over and rubs Emma’s hand. I look at Enzo, who has gone completely pale.
Emma sobs at this point. “I didn’t think any of this was going to be a big deal, I swear. I’m really sorry if I hurt anyone.”
I believe her. She may be naïve, but she doesn’t seem malicious.
Enzo rubs his forehead. “Jesus, Ava.”
“I know, babe.”
“Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Emma. Thank you for coming here tonight,” Katelyn says, who has clearly lightened up on her.
Enzo turns off the TV and paces the living room. “Why did she have to write a book about all this shit?”
“She said to get it off her chest and as a lesson for other women.”
He looks hard at me. “I heard her. I just don’t know how she thought a book like this would accomplish that.”
“Honestly, Enzo, she sounds naïve. I wonder if someone else convinced her that it would be a good idea.”
“That’s a good word for her,” he replies, pacing some more.
“I think you should drop your suit,” I say. “And I also think you should go and see her.”
He swings around and stares at me. “What?”
“Enzo, she’s dying. All she wants is for you to tell her it’s okay and you forgive her.”
“Forgive her? She’s the one who should forgive me. I treated her terribly.”
“Maybe that’s another reason you should go see her. It might be your last chance to make peace with her.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t need to make peace. It’s ancient history. Even she said that.”
“We’ve been over this before,” I remind him. “It’s not ancient history, and I think you should go. If anything, do it for her. You were cruel to her, but that was a long time ago, and not the person you are now. You are such a warm and caring person. Wouldn’t it feel good to show her that side of you?”
“No, Ava. That side of me is only for you and my family. That’s it.”
Enzo is still being very guarded. I don’t know if it’s compassion I feel for Emma or just a desire for him to make this right, so we can truly put it behind us.
“At least drop the suit, Enzo. Give her that much.”
“Why is this so important to you?” he asks. “I don’t understand why you want to show her mercy after what you’ve been through.” He runs his fingers through his hair.
“I don’t know either. I think the fact that she is going to die soon changes things. I don’t really know if she meant to hurt you or not, but at this point I don’t think it matters. I think you need to give her the closure she seeks, so she can die peacefully, and you and I can put this behind us once and for all.”
Enzo sighs and then grabs his phone. “Alright, Ava, you win. It’s an easy enough thing to drop the lawsuit. I’m undecided on whether I will see her or not.”
“Fair enough.”
He dials a number, and speaks, “Alex, I want you to drop the defamation suit against Emma.”
He nods his head while he listens. “Yes, you can release a public statement. Say that after further consideration and respect for Miss Carlyle’s medical condition, I’ve decided that legal action is no longer relevant.” He pauses, listening to Alex’s response.
“Yes, that’s good. Tonight if you can. Okay, ciao.”
Hanging up, Enzo walks over and sits next to me on the couch. “Done. Now, let’s get you back to bed. I’ll be in after I finish up a few things. Va bene?”
I smile. “Certo. And thank you, Enzo, for listening to me and for being the man I know you to be.”
“It’s all for you, Ava. If it makes you happy, I’ll do it.”
He leads me to our bedroom and I climb back into bed and sink into the covers. At least I don’t feel nauseous at the moment. The tea helped my stomach to settle. At this point, all I want is sleep.
9 CHAPTER NINE
“Amore, wake up.”
I roll over in bed to see Enzo standing above me. “Time to get up,” he tells me. “Your appointment is in one hour.”
“Okay,” I reply, grudgingly pulling myself from the coziness of the bed.
Walking into the bathroom, I turn on the shower and glance in the mirror. I’m still pale, but at least I don’t feel nauseous at the moment. I wash quickly and when I step out of the shower, Enzo is waiting with a towel, leaning seductively against the vanity.
“You look very handsome today, my prince.” Grinning, I wrap myself in the towel.
He’s got my favorite Enzo look: gray dress pants and a crisp white shirt.
“Do I?” he asks, smirking.
“Yep, if I had any strength, I would ravish you,” I reply, laughing.
“Well, then, we need to get you well.” He watches me apply some lotion to my legs and asks, “How do you feel today?”
“So far, okay. I’m starving, but, frankly, I’m afraid to eat.”
“We can see what the doctor has to say about it.” He pauses. “Do you think there is any chance you could be pre
gnant?”
I look up, surprised. “I don’t see how. I’m still on the pill.”
“That’s not always one hundred percent though, correct?”
“True. But it would be highly unlikely, I think.”
I don’t even want to begin to deal with that possibility. With everything else that has happened in such a short time, the last thing I’m prepared for is a baby.
“Well, if it did happen, we could handle it,” he says, with just a little too much hope in his tone.
I decide my best response is a smile. Heading back into the bedroom, I throw on a pair of dark jeans and a red sweater. Feeling so weak and hungry that I’m shaky, I hope I can eat soon and keep it down. I wrap my hair in a bun and slide my feet into some shoes. All the while, Enzo watches me.
“I see you’re not over the watching me thing yet,” I tell him. Grinning, I kiss his cheek.
“No. I doubt I ever will be.”
“Let’s hope.”
“Andiamo. I made you some coffee. Sip it slowly.”
Just as Enzo is about to open the door to the garage, his phone rings. “Yes?” he asks. Listening intently, he removes his hand from the doorknob. “We have an appointment we need to get to. What can you do about it?”
He nods his head, before walking towards the front door and peering through the window.
“That’s fine. Thanks for letting me know,” he adds, before hanging up.
Turning back to me with a frown, he says, “You need your sunglasses. It seems we have a few guests outside the gates this morning.”
I fish my sunglasses out of my handbag and brace myself for the barrage of media outside the house. Here we go again.
We get into the car and drive slowly down the driveway towards the gates. I reach over and stroke Enzo’s hand. “Are you going to say something to them?” I ask.
“No. I’m going to take my wife to her appointment.”
As we drive through the gates, two bodyguards approach and flank either side of the car. People are yelling our names and taking pictures, but they keep a respectful distance. As we drive away, I’m grateful to see that no one decides to follow us.
Enzo takes out his phone. “Alex, did you issue the statement about the lawsuit? Hmm, okay. No, that’s good. Yes, outside the house this morning. No, we’re fine. I’m taking Ava to an appointment as she’s not feeling well. Yes, I will. Did you talk to Dax yet? Okay, I’ll be by later to finish the contracts. Ciao.” He snaps his phone shut and smiles at me again.
Turn Towards the Sun Book Two: After the Rain Page 14
