by Krista Lakes
For the first time, I really felt that my father was sick. I knew he had cancer. I'd seen the x-rays. I'd gone to the chemo appointments with him. I'd talked to all his doctors, but had never felt this real before. He'd always been so strong, so big, and so indestructible. He was a rock in my life. In my mind, he was as invincible as Superman and twice as strong. I remembered him throwing me up above his head and catching me. In my mind, he was still capable of doing that despite the fact I was well over thirty years old.
To see him struggle to stand was at odds with the man I held in my mind. It was impossible that the two men where the same, and yet I knew they were.
I had to turn away and close my eyes. I didn't want to see this. Not yet. Not ever, really.
“Hannah, will you set up the breathing treatment?” Dr. Matthews asked, coming out into the hallway. His eyes were kind as he put his hand on my shoulder.
“Yeah. Sure. Sorry, I didn't even think about starting it,” I said, trying to shake myself out of daughter mode and into nurse mode.
“Hey, are you okay?” Jacob asked, standing in front of me and putting his hands on my shoulders. My mother had disappeared into the x-ray room now that the pictures were taken, so we were alone in the hallway.
“I don't know,” I answered honestly, looking up at him. “I know what's going to happen next. I know how to give the medications. I know the techniques. I know the care plan, but...”
“But, it's different when it's someone you love,” he finished for me. I nodded and he wrapped his arms around me.
I placed my ear on his chest, closing my eyes. Jacob's steady heartbeat and the strength of his arms held me still, even as my world threatened to spin out control. In his embrace, I was safe.
“You going to be okay?” he asked me softly, his breath soft against my hair.
I nodded, still holding tightly onto him. I appreciated that he didn't let me go. He was waiting for me to let go first.
Slowly, I took a deep breath and relaxed my grip on him. My mother could walk out at any moment, and even though I knew we could spin it, I didn't want her to see us. I didn't feel like defending myself against the will of the Ladies' Bridge Club tonight.
“I'll go get the breathing treatment,” I murmured. He gave my shoulders a gentle squeeze before turning to go check on the x-rays.
I went to an exam room and set up the tubing and medications. He would wear a mask and breath in medications that would open his lungs and let him breathe better. I knew how to set these up as we did them often, yet my fingers slipped and twisted on the tubes like I was a novice.
Finally, I brought my dad in and set him up. He struggled with the mask at first, but when I told him the medicine would help him breathe, he gave it a good attempt. Within a few breaths, I could see the tension relax slightly from his shoulders as the medicine started to work on his body.
I left my mother watching my father, and stepped out into the hallway. Dr. Matthews came around the corner. He gave me a gentle, soft smile, and then, since no one was around, a hug.
“It's pneumonia,” he told me, his voice low. I nodded into his shoulder. I'd known it the moment I heard his lungs.
“Thank you for being here,” I whispered. I was clutching at him again.
“Of course,” he replied. “I'm always here for you, and not just because it's my job.”
I looked up into his pale eyes and he kissed my forehead. I felt loved. He was my protector. He rode a motorcycle, kicked ass in the clinic, and he loved me.
He gave me one more squeeze before going to the exam room to talk with my parents. I heard his low voice as he told them the results of the x-ray. He answered questions about the antibiotics and medications he was sending home with them.
I peeked through the open door to see my mother sitting next to my father, her hands wrapped around his. He looked smaller now than I remembered. Frailer. My mother sat with her back perfectly straight as she nodded to Dr. Matthews' words.
I leaned against the hallway and closed my eyes.
The whole reason I was in Iowa was to take care of my father. I had known what was coming from the moment I'd agreed to come.
Yet, it was different now that it was happening. It was so much harder. I didn't have my clinical detachment to keep me sane. This was going to be so much harder than I expected.
But, at least I had Jacob. I could hear his voice, soothing and calm, as he spoke to my parents. Just hearing him made my heart ache just a little bit less. I knew that he would help me when my clinical facade cracked and I needed to be a daughter rather than a nurse to my father.
I knew that he would be there for me. I knew it deep in the core of my bones, and it gave me comfort knowing that I wasn't alone anymore.
I had someone now.
Chapter 21
“So, we're breaking up today,” Jacob announced.
I looked across the bed at him and raised an eyebrow. Both of us were still completely naked and tangled up in his sheets. We'd been laying there all morning, simply enjoying laying in bed and playing on our phones together. Breaking up seemed like an odd thing to do at this point.
“Um, we are?”
“Not you,” he explained, holding up his phone. “Katie and I. We're doing it today.”
A small thrill went through me. This was the first step to Jacob and I being able to actually date. We would need to let the town settle down for a little bit after this, but hopefully I would stop getting mean looks from all the old ladies any time I even mentioned his name in public.
“How's it going to happen?” I asked him, leaning back in his very comfortable bed.
“At the bakery. Lunchtime.”
“It'll be crowded. Nice.” I nodded my approval.
“Want to come?” He grinned at me. “Katie says she's been practicing crying and she made special cupcakes to throw at my head.”
“Now I'm definitely not gonna miss it,” I told him. “I hope she doesn't miss.”
“Promise to help me mend my broken heart?” He gave me a sly smile.
I laughed. “I'll certainly help you with something,” I replied, tugging at the sheets.
“You must be starving,” Donna observed later in the day. “You've checked your watch three times since I said it was almost lunch.”
“Jacob is buying us lunch from Katie's Bakery,” I replied, trying to sound nonchalant. “I've been saving up my calories all day for this.”
Donna narrowed her eyes. “You and the doc seem to be getting friendly.”
“Donna, we went to school together. And yes, we are friends. We are also co-workers.” I smiled at her. “And besides, he's with Katie, right?”
“Right.” She nodded. “He would always do right by Katie. He's a good man.”
I tried not to do a little happy dance. He was about to do right by Katie.
Finally, the last patient left and we were able to take our break. Donna flipped the sign to closed as Jacob gave me a wink and a nod. I practically skipped the entire way to Katie's Bakery.
Jacob refused to tell me what exactly was going to happen. He said that he wanted to have an honest reaction from me. All I knew was what he told me: she was planning on throwing cupcakes.
I made sure to wear something easily washed. I noticed that Jacob was wearing his least favorite pair of scrubs.
Katie's Bakery was packed. It was the middle of the lunch rush and it seemed like everyone in town was there.
I couldn't wipe the stupid grin off my face.
We stood in line with Donna asking why we couldn't skip to the front. Jacob was dating the owner, after all. Jacob just said that it wasn't right.
We ordered our food, and that's when the show began.
Katie came out and pulled Jacob out of line. She looked actually pissed. They started out with whispers in the corner that slowly escalated into yells.
“I never said that,” Jacob growled.
“You're just jealous of my success,” Katie yelled at him.
“You can stand to be the one not in the spotlight.”
“I think you're confusing yourself with me. We call that 'delusional' in the medical world,” Jacob shouted at her.
By this time, the entire restaurant had fallen quiet. Everyone had their heads pointed toward their food, but all eyes were on Katie and Jacob. I was having a hard time not smiling.
“How dare you,” Katie hissed. “You aren't who I thought you were at all.”
“That's because you're never here,” Jacob replied, his voice full of venom. “You've changed.”
“I've gotten better.”
“That's not what I'd call it,” Jacob sneered. “Delusional was a good word.”
That's when she chucked a cupcake at his head. The whole room gasped as it exploded with cherry filling all over his face.
“That's it!” he screamed at her. “I'm done!”
“Good. I never want to see you're face in here again. You understand? We're through! I hate you! I hate your stupid face!” Her face twisted with rage and she chucked another cupcake at him, only this time he ducked and it exploded on the wall behind him.
“Screw you,” he told her and stomped out of the bakery.
“Screw yourself!” she screamed at his back.
I looked around at all the patrons. Every mouth hung open in disbelief.
“Did they just break up?” Donna asked me, clutching her sandwich like a lifeline.
“I think so. It looked pretty brutal. Relationships don't come back from that kind of thing,” I told her. “He's pretty anal about his hair and she really got him with that cupcake.”
Donna just nodded, her mouth hanging open. I glanced around, making sure that several other of the Ladies' Bridge Club were present. Maybe this would convince them that Katie and Jacob weren't “practically engaged” anymore.
Katie quietly composed herself in the corner. “Sorry about that everyone.”
She then fled to the back room.
“I'm going to go check on Jacob,” I said to Donna, but she was still staring at the cherry filling on the wall in shock. A chunk of vanilla cupcake hit the floor with a splat.
I cut through the alley behind the Bakery and saw Katie leaning against a dumpster. It sounded like she was crying. I hurried over to check on her.
“Katie, are you okay?” I asked, touching her on the shoulder.
She turned and her eyes lit up with recognition. That's when I realized she wasn't crying. She was laughing. She was laughing so hard she could barely breathe.
She gave me a giant hug. “Jacob told me about you two. You're great for each other. I'm glad I could help.” She let me go and wiped the tears on her face, leaving big flour smudges on both her cheeks. “That was incredibly cathartic.”
“It was incredibly believable,” I told her. “I don't think anyone has moved inside.”
“Oh, I hope so. I had some of my LA friends coach me on what to do. You think the cherry filling was too much?” Her shoulders started shaking again as she thought of it.
“It was perfect,” I told her. I gave her one more hug. “Thanks for breaking up with him.”
“It was my pleasure,” she replied with a laugh as more tears streamed down her cheeks. I let her be as she laughed behind her restaurant and I hurried back to the clinic.
Jacob was waiting for me in the break room.
“Good?” he asked, his smile beaming off his face. “Was I believable?”
“You were perfect,” I told him. “I nearly believed you.”
“Good.” He grinned and kissed my cheek. “It's one step closer. It'll take some time, but Katie and I have agreed to be militantly hostile to one another for the next week. I really think this is going to work.”
“Dr. Matthews? Dr. Matthews are you in here?” Donna called, making her way to the break room.
Jacob and I took a step away from one another just before Donna came in. Her face was full of worry.
“Dr. Matthews, are you okay?” she asked him.
“I'm pissed,” he told her, sounding actually angry. “If you see her, you tell her it's off. I wouldn't be caught dead dating her. Do you see what she did to me?”
He pointed to the cherry filling coating his hair.
“Are you sure?” Donna asked him. “You two seemed so perfect...”
“Perfectly miserable,” Jacob finished for her. “And yes. She's willing to humiliate me in public. I can't be with a woman like that.”
“I'm so, so sorry Jacob.” Donna patted his arm. “If you need anything...”
“I don't want to deal with her,” Jacob growled. “She's no longer a patient here.”
Donna's eyes went big. “But, that would mean she'd have to go to a different doctor.”
“That's the point,” Jacob told her. “She's not welcome here. I don't care if she's bleeding. You call her an ambulance and let them deal with it.”
With that he turned and stomped into the bathroom, slamming the door shut as hard as possible.
“Wow. I think he's actually serious,” Donna whispered. “That's so sad.”
“Yeah. Definitely sad,” I agreed, doing my best not to smile. If Donna believed it, then the rest of the Ladies' Bridge Club wouldn't be far behind.
We were one step closer to being together.
Chapter 22
I smiled as I picked out groceries. I was heading over to Jacob's house this evening and he'd asked me to pick up a couple of things to help with dinner. I felt incredibly domestic and helpful as I picked the ripest tomatoes and the freshest gallon of milk in the entire store.
The summer heat was oppressive as I walked to my car. The blacktop radiated the sun and shimmered with imaginary mirages of water. I was sweating by the time I finished the short walk and loaded everything into my car.
That was summer in Iowa. Humid and hot.
The cicadas thrummed in the trees and birds called out as got in my car. We would get thunderstorms this evening, and given Jacob's propensity for getting wet and looking sexy as hell because of it, I was rather looking forward to them.
I especially liked how he held me as the thunder crashed around us. When the storms came, I didn't have to worry about people coming to our houses and finding us. I didn't have to worry about what anyone else thought. I was Jacob's and he was mine.
It was my own little slice of heaven.
I hummed as I drove the roundabout route to Jacob's house. I didn't want his father surprising me again. I had some dummy files in my car, just in case. I also had my notifications turned all the way up on my phone in case Jacob needed to text me that his parents had randomly showed up at his house.
We had a system and so far it had worked.
I circled a cornfield and double checked to make sure there was no one around before turning down the dirt road to Jacob's home. I tucked my car into his open garage and shut the door, feeling rather like a spy as I did it.
No one knew I was here.
“Groceries,” I called out, entering the kitchen. Jacob emerged from the living room and smiled at me before taking them off my hands.
“These look great,” he said, putting the tomatoes in a colander to wash and dry. “And so do you.”
“Is that so?” I grinned. I always felt beautiful around Jacob. I didn't need to wear makeup or do anything crazy with my hair. I liked to, but I didn't have to. He thought I was beautiful no matter what the humidity was doing to my hair.
He wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his hands on my ass. A gentle squeeze told me exactly where his mind was.
In the gutter.
“So, that's first today, huh?” I asked, looking up through my eyelashes at him.
I loved the way he looked back at me. He looked at me like he was hungry and I was a five-course meal. His pupils dilated and he pulled me into a sensual kiss. I could feel him hardening against my hip and desire flared to life. The tomatoes could wait if he was what I could have instead.
“Yeah, I think that's first tod
ay,” he whispered, nibbling on my ear. His breath tickled the small hairs of my neck and made me drunk on lust. I was jelly to his touch when he did that. “You drive me wild.”
He tugged on my shorts, pulling them to the floor. I kicked them to the side as he ran his fingers along the smooth satin of my panties. I loved the way his skillful fingers danced across me, teasing me with the pleasure he could bring. I let my head fall back and groaned as he kissed my neck and played with the thin satin.
“More, please,” I whimpered, lifting the back of his shirt. He grinned and pulled it up and over his head. I don't know if they taught men the sexiest way to remove their shirts in a secret boy school or if it just came naturally, but I loved watching him strip for me.
I ran my fingers up and down his chest, feeling his heart beat underneath my palm. He pressed his hips into mine and I could feel just how hard he had gotten in just a few minutes. I ached to feel him inside of me. I needed it.
My hands slid down his chest to his waist and undid the button on his khaki shorts. I helped guide the shorts off his hips and down to the ground. I went to my knees and looked up at him with a smile. I saw his breath catch just a little as I licked my lips.
I reached up to grab the hem of his boxers when I saw his mother watching us with horrified eyes.
I froze. I didn't know what to do. Maybe she was actually a T-Rex and couldn't see me if I didn't move.
We both stood perfectly motionless for an unbearable amount of time.
“What's wrong, baby?” Jacob asked, looking down with a frown. He followed my look of terror to see his mother standing in his kitchen with a bag of cucumbers. “Oh shit.”
That's when his mother came alive.
“Oh shit?” she repeated.
“Mom, what are you doing here?” Jacob managed to keep a relaxed body posture despite the fact that he was standing in his boxers, his erection quickly fading. I still was on my knees in nothing but my panties and t-shirt. I didn't think I could get up.
