by John Lenahan
‘The thorns almost killed me before I could finally convince them to give a message to Deirdre. She brought me into the Fililands and…well, we fell in love. I persuaded her to end her self-inflicted exile. I started to row a bit harder knowing she was waiting for me at the Castle Beach.
‘When I saw Cialtie put the gold earplugs in, it didn’t even ring any alarm bells. I actually slowed down to see what he was doing. It wasn’t until he produced the conch shell and pulled the amulet from around his neck that I realised I was in trouble. I rowed away from him with all of my strength–but it was too late. He dropped the amulet into the shell, shouted “Gream!” and threw. I dived to block but the shell ricocheted around the bottom of the boat. Before I could get to it–I heard the scream.
‘I know now that the spell he dropped in the shell–it was a Banshee pain scream. I thought it was only a legend but Cialtie was always a master of old lore. He has since made many a myth become a reality. Legend has it that in the War of the Others, the Banshees developed a scream that gave the enemy’s men–the pain of childbirth. I thank the gods for making me a man and I shall forever look on mothers with admiration. Never again do I want to feel such pain. Not even the arrow in my chest compared to the debilitating agony that hit me in that boat. I doubled up, clutching my knees. I was in too much pain even to scream. Cialtie sped ahead.
‘Through closed eyes I envisioned how the future would unfold. I saw Cialtie winning the race. I saw my father and Deirdre’s disappointment. I saw Cialtie holding the Oak Rune. I saw Cialtie holding the Sword of Duir. I saw Cialtie sitting on the Oak Throne, and I saw Cialtie with a queen by his side–it was Deirdre!
‘That was more than I could bear. I let loose a howl and opened my eyes. The shell was lying on the bottom of the boat, right next to my face. With an effort I know I will never be able to duplicate, I took my hands from my knees, grabbed the shell and hurled it with all of my might. I only threw it about a foot but that was enough–as the shell sank, the scream and the pain subsided. When I finally sat up, I saw that I was in the middle of the lake and Cialtie had an impossible lead.
‘I retook my oars and began to row but without heart, for Cialtie’s lead was too big. Cialtie will win–Cialtie will be king–that thought, like a lightning bolt, shot through my body. “No!” I screamed and I pulled at my oars with all of my strength. The pain of my attack racked my body but I pushed it away. I melded my mind and my body into one. With every stroke, I recalled the indecencies my brother had committed–it fuelled my arms and my back with superhuman strength. The front end of my boat rose up with the speed, and the wake behind me looked as if it came from a galleon ship with fifty oarsmen.
‘I was spurred on not only by the desire to stop my brother, but by anger. I was angry with myself. It was my own fault that I was in that position. I should never have let Cialtie get so close. I only did it so I could gloat. It was pride that defeated me. I realised how foolish I had been and that pushed me even more. I had been so confident of winning the race that I had even taken the Sword of Duir with me. I had disguised its hilt that morning with leather straps so no one would recognise it. You see, in my mind I was already king. I thought I had won the race before it had even begun–it had cost me dearly.
‘Even these thoughts left me as I became a mindless rowing machine. I forgot I was even in a race. Rowing stops Cialtie, Rowing stops Cialtie, ran through my mind like a Fili mantra. I didn’t even know that I had caught up to my brother until I heard him sneer, “Too little, too late, brother.”
‘That snapped me out of it. I heard the roar of the watching crowd. I looked to my left and saw the tip of my boat was almost even with Cialtie’s stern, but when I looked fully around I saw that my brother was right, we were almost at the Castle Beach and I was a full length behind.
‘I have found that important moments in life either happen so fast you don’t even remember them, or so slow that each second seems like a lifetime. I remember what happened next as if I was swimming in honey.
‘Cialtie’s boat grounded first. He jumped into the knee-deep water and began the thirty-second run to the beach. My boat grounded just as he hit the water. There was no way I could beat him. As I have said, the next few seconds seemed like hours, and although it seemed as if I had plenty of time to think through what I did next–in retrospect, I wasn’t thinking at all. I remembered that the winner of the race was the brother that first placed his runehand on the Castle Beach. I lowered my runehand on the seat of the boat, drew the Sword of Duir with my left hand and without even a second thought–I cut off my hand. I didn’t even wait for the pain to register, I dropped the sword and hurled my severed runehand to the shore. The throw pitched me out of the boat, but before I hit the water I saw my hand sail past Cialtie’s astonished face. It landed on the beach, to the silence of a stunned crowd. I had won; my runehand had been the first to touch the Castle shore. I had won–that was the last thing that went through my mind as I splashed unconscious into the reddening water.’
Chapter Nineteen
The Castle Beach
‘You did it to yourself?’ I almost shouted. ‘You cut off your own hand?’
‘Yes,’ Father said.
‘But didn’t you realise that you couldn’t take the Choosing without a right hand, or that you would become the one-handed prince?’
‘No.’
The look on my father’s face made me realise how insensitive my questions were. Of course he realised these things–now.
‘At the moment I raised the sword,’ Dad confessed, ‘the only thought that went through my mind was winning–or more to the point, beating Cialtie. All thoughts of Runechoosing, or prophecies, or even the pain, were superseded by the desire to win. It was foolish.’ I could see in his eyes, he had paid dearly for that impulsive act.
‘It was courageous, Lord Oisin,’ said a voice. It was Araf. I had almost forgotten that the others were there.
Dad gave him a soft smile. ‘Thank you, Araf. You Imps and Leprechauns are a romantic bunch. You have always considered my moment of madness as courageous. It wasn’t, it was stupidity.’
‘Is that why Lorcan’s army is called the Army of the Red Hand?’ I blurted, without thinking.
Mom, Dad and Aunt Nieve simultaneously shouted, ‘What?’ Araf and Essa gave me a very dirty look. I had made a solemn vow to keep Lorcan’s army secret.
Fergal tried to change the subject. ‘It must have created quite a commotion at the finish line when you threw your hand to shore.’
Dad ignored him and looked directly at me. ‘What did you just say?’
‘Me?’ I squirmed. ‘I didn’t say anything.’
‘You did,’ Dad said, ‘you said something about Lorcan and an army’
‘No, I didn’t,’ I interrupted. ‘I do have a few secrets that I have kept from you, Father. Most of them, like what happened at the party I had in the house when I was sixteen and you were out of town, I keep so I will not get into trouble–others I keep because I swore an oath on the House of Duir. There are things it is not in my power to tell.’
I wanted to tell him all, especially now that he was finally telling me the truth, but I had sworn an oath. Dad looked me deep in the eyes and I saw that he understood.
‘You had a party in the house when I was out of town?’
I smiled.
‘Seriously,’ Fergal said, ‘I want to know what happened after you threw your hand to shore–there must have been pandemonium.’ He looked like a little boy being told a bedtime story.
‘I wouldn’t know,’ Dad said, ‘I was unconscious at the time.’
‘I was there,’ Mom said. ‘I wouldn’t say, Fergal, that it caused a commotion, at least not at first. Everyone was stunned into silence. You have to realise that only a handful of us knew how important this race was–most people thought it was harmless family fun. No one could understand what made Oisin do such a desperate thing. Lord Finn and I dived into the lake and carried Oisin to shor
e. He was bleeding terribly. Finn tore off a strip of his robe and tied a tourniquet around the wrist, but the bleeding would not stop. I thought he was doing to die. I had some tree sap hidden in my satchel, I used it on the wound and incanted a Shadowspell. I heard Ona and Nieve gasp, “Shadowmagic!”
‘Lord Finn looked at me and asked if this was really Shadowmagic. I told him it was and saw the conflict in his face. I had just saved his favourite son, but I had also just performed an act that was punishable by death. Since the damage was already done, I picked up Oisin’s hand, and using Shadowmagic again, I preserved it in amber sap.
‘Finn came close and whispered in my ear, “Do you have a place to go?” I nodded. He said, “Go there and never come back.”
‘There were tears in his eyes when Lord Finn stepped back and announced to all that I was banished, and my name was to be purged from our minds, and my memory was to be purged from our hearts. That was the last I saw of anyone from The Land, other than Oisin and the Fili, until the Shadowrunes told me to rescue you and your father from Cialtie’s dungeon.’
‘How could he do that to you?’ I said. ‘Finn sounds as bad as Cialtie.’
‘Do not judge your grandfather harshly,’ Mom said, in that motherly tone that made me a bit ashamed of myself. ‘He should have had me executed on the spot. I am sure many thought he was wrong to let me live. You must remember how much pain Maeve and her Shadowmagic had caused. It is hard to be a good man and a great king. Your grandfather Finn was a great king.’
‘So you came back here?’ I said.
‘Banishment was not really that much of a hardship for me. I came back here to live among the Fili. I had found peace here. The only hardship was that Oisin was not with me.’
‘I didn’t find out about all of this for two days,’ Dad said. ‘After the boat race, Ona gave me a tonic that made me sleep.’
‘Who broke the news to you?’ I asked.
That question sent a shiver down my father’s back. ‘When I awoke, I was in bed being nursed by Cialtie.’
‘Cialtie! What was he doing there?’
‘Oh, I’m sure he put on that sickening Cialtie charm, and convinced the nurse that he should look after his poor brother for a while.’ Dad’s face hardened. ‘When I opened my eyes, my first sight was his glaring countenance.
‘“Well, well, little brother, what were you thinking?” Cialtie asked me.
‘I was terrified,’ Dad admitted. ‘I tried to shout but my throat was so dry, I could hardly make a sound.
‘“Shhhh, don’t exert yourself, little brother, you have been through an ordeal. What I can’t figure out is, what were you, Daddy and that witch Ona concocting that made winning that race so important? Or was it that you just hate me so much that beating me was worth losing your hand?’”
Dad’s voice faltered. ‘All of the realities of what I had done crashed down on me like a wall of stone. I could hardly breathe.
‘“Oh my gods,” Cialtie said, smiling, “you didn’t think about this before, did you? It’s just occurring to you,” and then he laughed. “Well, let me sum it up for you–without a runehand you can never take the Choosing and without a Choosing you can never be king, and because you are a one-handed prince, you can never have an heir. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought you did this as a present for me.”
‘When I finally found a whispering voice, I said, “Where is Father?”
‘“Oh, Father dear is off talking to the other lords, trying to explain why he didn’t have Deirdre killed.”
‘I tried to sit up and failed.
‘“Oh, I forgot,” Cialtie said, “you have been out of it for the last two days. How can I break this to you? Deirdre is gone. You’ll never guess–that little vixen is a Shadowwitch.”
‘I panicked,’ Dad said, ‘I couldn’t breathe.
‘“Oh my, little brother, I can see that you already knew. Shame on you. You see, she performed a little Shadowmagic show with your wrist and hand. You should have seen it. It was quite a demonstration. I thought our big sister Nieve was going to pee herself. I expected Daddy to chop her head off right then and there but instead he just banished her. He is as weedy as you.”
‘I gathered up all of my strength and took a swing at him. I would have connected, too–if there had been a fist attached to my wrist. Cialtie thought this was so funny, he cackled loud enough to alert the nurse. He explained to her that he was overcome with joy, seeing that his brother was going to recover, and danced out of the room.
‘Eth arrived just after Cialtie left. He was beside himself with grief. He blamed himself for what happened to me. It wasn’t his fault. I am sure he was enchanted by that Banshee witch Mná, but I was tired and angry. I shouted at him. I told him he was weak, that this was all his fault and that I never wanted to see him again. He left the castle that day. I never had the chance to tell him I didn’t mean it.
‘In one day I had lost my love, my best friend, my hand and had given my crown to the most evil man in The Land. If I had had the strength–I would have killed myself then and there.’
Dad stopped talking, looked down and wiped his eyes. How could I have lived with a man all of my life and never really known him? I stood up and put my arms around him.
Mom picked up the story. ‘After Cialtie’s Choosing (where he surprisingly chose the Reed Rune), Oisin came to find me here in the Fililands. By then I was very pregnant with you, Conor. Even the Fili were concerned when they saw that I was carrying the child of the one-handed prince. We consulted the Shadowrunes and came up with a plan. Your father and you would give up your immortality, just like the Fili Druids had done, and then, after a full mortal life, the son of the one-handed prince would die a natural death in the Real World. It was the best we could do for you, Conor. I performed the spell that sent the two of you to the Real World–it was the worst day of my life.’
This lunch was starting to turn into a blubber-fest. I let go of Dad and hugged Mom, and when I could finally speak again I asked, ‘Why didn’t you come with us?’
‘The Shadowrunes forbade it,’ she said.
‘These Shadowrunes,’ I asked, ‘are they really as clear as all that? All of the fortune-telling I have seen in my life was always so vague that it could be interpreted as anything.’
Before Mom could answer, a voice startled me from behind. ‘Why don’t you see for yourself?’ It was Fand. She was standing in the doorway–I was surprised to see that it had grown dark outside. ‘The Shadowcasting is ready’
Mom stood. ‘Well, let us see if the Shadowrunes can tell us of Master Fergal’s lineage.’
Chapter Twenty
The Shadowcasting
We walked among the rowan trees in fading light. It would soon be pitch dark, not that that would bother our escorts–the Fili seemed to be as much a part of these woods as the trees themselves. Fergal walked like a man in a trance. I caught up to him.
‘Are you cool about this?’ I asked.
Fergal gave me a strange look. ‘I’m a little cool, but it’s pleasant out.’
‘Sorry, that’s not what I meant.’ I laughed. ‘Are you worried about finding out about your parents?’
‘Oh, ah no…well, yes…oh, I don’t know what I think,’ he said, ‘I just have to know. All my life I have been fantasising about having parents–I feel like I won’t be whole until I find out. Do you understand?’
‘If anyone understands, my friend, it’s me.’ I stopped him, gave him a hug and whispered in his ear. ‘No matter what happens, Fergal, I’m there for you.’
‘And I for you, Conor,’ he replied, and slapped me on the back. I gave him a dirty look for the slap, and he returned it with a twinkling smile.
We arrived in a glade surrounded by a ring of very old rowan trees. Light was provided by glowing pinecones in glass holders. The golden glow showed the seriousness on everyone’s faces. It made me want to crack a joke, but I decided against it. Maybe I was growing up a bit, or maybe I was ju
st chicken.
Mom sat cross-legged on the ground next to two large bowls. We all sat around her.
‘Before we begin,’ she announced, ‘we must state our intentions. Shadowmagic, like any power, can be corrupted. Only by keeping our motives pure can sins, like those done in the past, be avoided. This sap,’ she said, pointing to a bronze bowl full of the stuff, ‘was given freely by trees who knew what it was for. We thank them.’
The Fili in the circle thanked the trees aloud and then so did we. Mom continued.
‘Fergal of Ur, come sit by me.’
Fergal stood up, flashed a forced Fergal-ish smile to Araf and me, and sat next to Deirdre.
‘Do you, Fergal of Ur, come to this Shadowcasting freely?’
‘I do,’ Fergal replied.
‘Why do you seek this Shadowcasting?’
‘I want to know who my parents are.’
‘Do you seek this knowledge out of malice or revenge?’
‘I just want to know,’ Fergal said, his eyes sparkling in the Shadowlight.
‘Very well,’ she said, ‘I shall instruct the runes to tell us of your life as it has affected others. This may be painful to watch and difficult to share. Are you still willing?’
Fergal thought for a bit, then answered with resolve. ‘I am.’
‘We shall begin.’
Mom waved her hand and the pinecone lights dimmed. She took a pebble-sized dollop of sap and rubbed it between her palms. She spoke in a language I didn’t understand–Ogham, the oldest tongue–the language of the trees. She pressed her ball of sap between her hands and spoke the Ogham word, ‘Beith.’
Mom looked to me for recognition. When she saw none she translated.
‘Beith- birch.’
She opened her hand, revealing a glowing amber disc, and when she turned it over it was engraved with a rune–the Birch Rune. She carefully placed it on the ground between her and Fergal. She rolled and pressed another bit of sap between her palms.
