“Now, try and formulate some questions to ask the spirit world. We don’t want to waste too much of Saffron’s time.”
I certainly had a lot of questions, none of them for the spirit world.
“Okay, I’m back; let’s get started,” said Saffron. She went over to a nearby bookshelf and clicked on a cd player. New Age music played softly, and I must say it was kind of soothing, in a weird way. Phyllis closed her eyes and smiled.
Saffron sat across from me, lowered her head, and began singing some kind of gibberish. She then took my hands and held them palms up.
“Okay, Pen. Please take three deep breaths and mentally formulate some questions.”
“Like what? Where did I leave my watch, what’s for dinner, who shot J.R…?”
Phyllis fired me a look and cleared her throat loudly.
“Okay, here we go.” Saffron quickly shuffled her tarot cards and spread them out on the table. She examined each one carefully and widened her eyes.
“Pen, I have good news for you,” she announced with a boom. “There’s a spirit here waiting to speak with you…named Cornelia!”
“Oh brother…”
“No, Pen…not your brother. It’s your grandmother.” Her eyes glistened.
“Um, sorry to disappoint you, Saffron, but my grandmother’s name was Gail.”
“Names, names…what are names, really? They are earth given. This is definitely your grandmother….a grandmother vibration of very high frequency!”
“I think you have a bad connection…”
“Hold on…let me check.” Her eyes shifted to the ceiling. “Grandma, is that you? Whoohooo, Grandma?”
I gave Phyllis the eye and shifted in my seat, wondering if I should make a run for it.
“Oh, I see.” Saffron cleared her throat. “Well, it seems…um…well, she just likes the name Cornelia, that’s all.”
“It’s your grandmother!” shouted Phyllis, unable to contain her excitement.
“Okay then, what does my grandmother want to tell me?”
“Let’s see.” Saffron swirled her hands through the air. “Well, she says you’re in for a big change…a life change. Yes, it’s quite clear. According to her, you’re about to discover something shocking. The Great Truth, she calls it. Your life is going to take a major turn and…er…well…I’m not sure you’re going to like this,” she said looking quite worried.
“Oh go on…I can take it.”
“Oh boy, this is a problem,” she bit her lip. “Well, I’m just going to come right out with it…your marriage is doomed.” She squeezed my hand. “You see, Penelope, according to your grandmother…your current husband simply isn’t your soul mate. You need to find a new mate….right away.” She offered me a concerned look.
“Current husband..?”
“Wait, there’s more…and this part is vitally important.”
“Okay, shoot…”
“You need to find your Twin Flame…”
“My twin what…?”
“The message is quite clear, Pen. You must leave your husband and merge with your proper soul mate. It’s the only way you’ll find lasting happiness. Only then will you soar like the free bird you truly are.” Her eyes flashed.
“So, let me get this straight, the spirit world wants me to divorce my husband? I didn’t think the universe approved of divorce.” I laughed, looking at my watch.
“Well, they don’t consider your marriage valid. You see, your light went out.”
“What?”
“Well, according to them, when two people are in love their inner light shines brightly for each other. However, if it’s a bad match, there is no light or it gets extinguished for some reason, thereby dissolving the union. They don’t believe in marriage the way we do, you see. There is no paperwork in the ethers.”
“Yes, that’s true,” said Phyllis flatly.
“Oh, it’s all lights, is it? Smoke and mirrors too, I presume.”
“Wait, there’s more.” Saffron took a cleansing breath. “It seems your husband is a free spirit…” She looked at me sideways. “Um, well, she says your husband is a strong, marvelous steed who must be free to find his true goddess and rule his personal kingdom.”
“Steed…did you say steed?” I laughed out loud. “He can definitely be an ass, but a steed? This is too funny.”
“Shhhhhhhhhh, Pen, don’t interrupt. Saffron might lose the connection,” said Phyllis sternly. “Listen to what she’s saying. You really need to take this information to heart; it’s coming from a very high place.”
High alright, I’m certain these two are on something. “Ok Saffron, any other good news from the beyond?” I asked choking a bit, as the stench of incense filled the air.
“Yes, beware!” she bellowed. “You must lose all attachment to worldly goods. You must give up your love of comfort and material wealth. Yes, it’s very clear…you must leave it all behind, and follow your intended path. Pen, it’s imperative. You must leave your husband and move far, far away…start a new life. You’re in danger…”
“Alrighty then…I think I’ve heard enough. Thanks for the tip, Saffron….and grandma.” I stood up abruptly and made my way for the door, flinging the special turquoise balancing beads on the shelf as I flew by.
“Take heed! I’ll put the reading on your tab. Blessings!” Saffron called after us.
“Wait, Pen. Wait. Wow, wasn’t that great?” Phyllis sang, as she hurried after me. “Wow, you’re lucky. What a fabulous message!” She was breathless, and little beads of perspiration were forming on her upper lip.
“Fabulous? Are you kidding me? That idiot in there just told me that my husband, the steed, should have his freedom, and I, being a free bird, should leave without a dime.” I was fuming. “Get a grip Phyllis!”
“Oh, er…it’s all how you look at it. I think your grandmother was just trying to tell you that you’re…um…too good for this small town, and you’d be better off starting new with someone else; a fresh start, you know? I think it’s quite positive.”
“Phyllis, she didn’t even use those stupid tarot cards. She just closed her eyes and spoke in some kind of weirdo voice. She made all that stuff up. I’m worried about you.”
“Look, Pen, just take a deep cleansing breath, and think about what she said over the next couple of days. Maybe it’ll make sense later on. Just think about it. Let’s go home,” she smiled nervously.
“Have you heard from Jackie?” I asked, as we drove back from town.
“That’s funny; I was just going to ask you the same thing. I’ve been calling, but she hasn’t returned any of my calls. Frank said he ran into her downtown, and they went for a drink. He said she didn’t seem herself.”
“She probably needs some space.”
“Well if she needs so much space, how come she’s having a drink with my Frank?” Phyllis sneered. “Ha! Maybe she’s noticed how wired he’s been, thought he could use something to calm down. I told you he’s been acting crazy lately…or maybe it’s something more?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you think they’re involved?” she asked biting her lip.
“God, no. Don’t be ridiculous,” I laughed. “Absolutely not…don’t be silly, Phyllis. It’s odd we haven’t heard from her, though. I’ll give you that.”
“Yes, it is.” Phyllis contorted her face. “She doesn’t have a minute to return our calls, but she has plenty of time to meet my husband for a drink.”
Phyllis looked at me from the corner of her eye. “You know, between you and me, I’ve always thought there was something suspicious about Jackie. She’s kind of mysterious, don’t you think? I’ve never felt she was…well…trustworthy.” She raised her eyebrow high. “I know she’s been your friend for a while, Pen. I mean, you’ve known her longer than I have, but I would watch my back if I were you.”
“Oh, Phyllis, that’s crazy. I trust her completely,” I answered quickly. “She’s not mysterious; a little colorful maybe
, but I definitely trust her.”
Phyllis planted the seed though.
“Darling, what about what happened at Magnolia?” She quickly changed the subject.
“Oh, I can’t even think about that.”
“Imagine, in this tiny town. The reason we moved here in the first place was because Frank was becoming paranoid in the city, worrying about crime….and he wanted a bit of land…to plant all those damn grape vines.” Phyllis twirled her power beads between her fingers.
“Well, everything seems to be changing, Phyllis...everything.”
“Yes, everything,” she said, under her breath.
The tarot card reading was a bust, but Saffron was right about one thing; I needed a change. I felt stagnate, stuck in an impossible marriage. I was done lying to myself. My marriage was a sham; even the kids were beginning to see that. It was time to face reality.
I wondered when it all went bad. When did it sour? I knew the answer…it was bad from the start.
TROUBLE IN PARADISE
“Come on, Pen; the water is warm. Look, you can see right down to the bottom. Come on. There are literally hundreds of little blue fish swarming around my ankles. Look, come see…ah, come on.”
The warm breeze combined with the swaying palm trees cast a hypnotic spell on me and life felt very good indeed. I looked down at my tanned body and thought I looked pretty darn fabulous. Wearing a smart black halter swimsuit and a large straw hat to protect my newly streaked tresses, I stared out over the gleaming water and sighed.
“Come on, swim out,” Sam’s voice echoed out from the aquamarine. The thought of cooling off in the sparkling Bermuda water was inviting, but I was enjoying the warmth of the sun, reclining on my beach chair. I watched Sam swimming along the coast, his strong body gliding through the surf, and my heart swelled. It was turning out to be yet another day of perfection on this beautiful island of pink houses and exotic flowers, very much like a fairy tale.
Our wedding was fabulous, just as Mother had promised. A New York gala, worthy of the press it received. The guest list had doubled, so Mother switched the whole thing to the Plaza, as her ballroom just couldn’t accommodate the massive group of “who’s who” in attendance. You have to give the old girl credit, I thought, as I slathered more sunscreen on my shoulders.
I untied my top to allow for an even tan and adjusted my position, as the sun had moved in the bright azure sky. I caught sight of my beautiful engagement ring, each facet dancing in the sunlight. Next to it, a beautiful diamond band encircled my finger in sparkling confirmation of the vows taken just days before. I spun them around my finger and smiled. In my mind, I practiced my new name over and over again. Mrs. Dupres…oh hello, yes, I’m Penelope Dupres; nice to meet you. I’m Mrs. Sam Dupres. It all still seemed quite unreal. Closing my eyes, I thought about having children and what they would add to this portrait of perfection spread out before me. I was certain our lives together would be glorious.
Later, we ate dinner outside facing the ocean in the midst of vibrant hibiscus and dancing palm trees. The air was perfumed with honeysuckle, and I found it more intoxicating than the bubbly we shared. After coffee, we got into a taxi and headed back to our hotel. Sam seemed happy and radiated with that special glow that comes from fresh air, sun, and sea.
As we approached the hotel, I grabbed my bag and started for the door. Sam took my arm.
“I’ll be right back, Pen. I just want to get a pack of cigarettes. I’ll be back soon. Go up to the room; I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Okay, Sam, but please hurry back.”
I slipped into my silk nightgown and settled into the king sized bed, hoping Sam would return any moment. I looked at the clock on the bedside table and sighed. “It’s late.” Exhausted, I let my body relax and sank my head into the softness of the pillow. Unable to keep my eyes open, I drifted off into a vivid dream…
I was running as fast as my slippered feet would take me, and as I passed the long mirror just to the left, I caught a glimpse of my panicked face. My wedding gown was tattered, and I couldn’t get the tiny mouse to let go of my veil.
“Stop running so fast; you’re going to spoil your dress. Stop running. Geesh, you act like you’re going to miss the train,” said the small rodent. “Hey, I can’t keep up with you; I’m only little you know!” The little brown mouse was screaming in a high-pitched voice.
As I ran faster, I realized I was running down a very long whitewashed hallway. At the end of the hallway was a large silver locomotive with a roaring engine. I tried desperately to reach it, but something was tugging on my veil. “I haven’t time for this.” I pulled it off and continued my mad dash for the waiting train.
“Oh, now look what you’ve done,” screamed the mouse. “You’ve lost your halo.” The little mouse was running beside me now, laughing wildly. “Here, look at yourself. You look dreadful.” The mouse handed me a small compact with the initials O.Y.E engraved on the top.
I opened it slowly and peered at myself in disbelief. I looked haggard and disheveled.
“See, I told you. You really should slow down. I’m having trouble keeping up with you. I’m your friend…I’m only trying to help you.”
As I approached the train, I saw Sam standing inside one of the compartments sipping a glass of champagne. Dressed in a top hat and tails, he was smiling broadly.
“Wait, wait…I’m coming Sam. Wait for me!” I ran faster, but it was too late. The door slammed shut, and the train departed in a cloud of white smoke.
“Oh, what a pity,” the little mouse cried. “You looked, but you didn’t see.”
“What are you talking about?” Tears streamed down my face.
“The compact…you look, but you don’t see. You need to pay closer attention to the little things, the details.” The rodent pointed to the engraved initials, O.Y.E.
“What does it mean?”
“Open Your Eyes.”
The creature laughed wildly and vanished.
I looked back to the departing train. The driver of the gleaming locomotive was looking back at me, waving. My eyes narrowed. The driver was a large rat with big brown eyes.
I must have known. I must have felt his absence as I slept, because I jumped up with a start and searched the other side of the bed. It was empty, and I felt my stomach drop. I looked at the clock. It was 2:00am, and Sam was nowhere in sight.
I got up and went to the window. The ocean was shining in the moonlight. The palms were swaying in the night breeze, and lights were twinkling in the distance. Everything was the same, but everything was different. I felt sick and thought about my next move. Should I call the front desk? What would I say? Perhaps there had been an accident?
Just then, the door opened, and he came in, drunk. He smelled of liquor and cigarettes, smiling that huge Sam smile that opens so many doors for him.
“Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick,” I held my stomach.
“Oh, you’re still up,” he snorted. “I went for cigarettes and met some guys from school. You should have been there Pen,” he sputtered. “We had a blast. You really are such a bore, you know.” He stumbled over to the bed and took his shoes off with a smirk. “You know, Pen, I think we should stay another week. Things are just starting to perk up around here.” He laughed.
I turned to face him and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My heart sank. My starry eyes replaced with a look of fear and sadness. Stupidly, I thought I was enough. Obviously, I was mistaken.
I stood perfectly still in total silence, as I watched him sway and spew insults. I felt every muscle in my body constrict, and my eyes welled up with large salty tears.
“I can’t believe this. It’s our honeymoon, for God’s sake,” I said, quivering. “I don’t even know what to say to you. You’ve really hurt me.”
I felt my stomach heave and placed my sweaty palm against it, trying to calm the storm inside. I felt like I was falling through the sky with nothing but a crashing fall to lo
ok forward to in the end. There was nothing more to say. The sight of Sam swaying back and forth with that crooked grin on his face was nauseating. I turned and went into the bathroom.
After what felt like an eternity, I felt strong enough to run the bath. Soaking in the warm water did nothing to erase the emotional pain I felt, but it did ease the tension in my body.
Later that day, after spending two hours trying to soothe my tattered emotions in the hotel’s spa, I returned to our room. I found two dozen roses and a small velvet box waiting for me.
Sam was sitting by the window with that little boy look on his face… the look that unfailingly caused me to soften and melt. He looked shaky with hangover.
“I’m sorry, my love. I drank too much and made a complete fool out of myself. I was just letting off steam. You know… it just all hit me…the reality of being married. What can I say?” He got up and sunk his hands into his pockets. Chin down, his eyes looked up at me like a child waiting to be punished for some adolescent antic.
I stood motionless, a complete loss for words, and tightened my fist against my thigh.
“Oh, Pen,” he said softly. “Come on, Je t'adore, ma cherie,” he whispered. “I’m sorry. Forgive me. Look, I met those guys, and I stepped right back in time. Please forgive me.”
He approached me, and I stiffened. As he neared, I felt myself tremble. Hatred rose up in me like a great heat, then the love I had for him counteracted, causing an uncomfortable unsteadiness that caused me to stumble. He was quick to catch my arm and pulled me tightly, crushing me into him. He still smelled of liquor and cigarettes, and I turned my head. Too weak to pull away, I let him clutch me and accepted his apology.
“I’m sorry; you know you’re my girl, my lucky penny. Last night…that was just the booze talking, not me. It will never happen again.”
I should have spun on my heels at that very moment. I should have listened to the voice screaming in my head, paid attention to the deep gnawing hole in my gut. I should have known right then and there what the future would be. It was a pivotal moment, and I blew it. It was all sketched out before me, and I chose to look the other way, to believe in the fairy tale and not the reality of the situation. I chose not to really look at Sam. Instead, I held on to the dream of Sam – the fairy tale - the Sam I created in my mind.
A Brilliant Ride Page 6
