Trucks had plowed and salted last night, so the roads were a mix of melting snow and ice. Her horse kicked up the gray slush, splashing it back toward the buggy. Leah’s brothers must have started early because they’d cleared the parking lot, the long driveway back to their house, and all around the barns. Two buggies and a car were parked in the lot.
Ada stepped carefully from the buggy, watching for patches of black ice. She made it to the door as an Englischer exited, and he stepped aside to hold the door open for her. She stepped inside, and the door jingled shut behind her.
Across the room, Leah was balancing on a stepladder, her back to the door, struggling with a heavy box. Ada was about to call out to her when Josiah stepped out of the aisle near Leah. Ada’s voice caught in her throat as she drank in his broad shoulders, his…
“Here, let me help you with that.” Josiah’s muscles rippled under his blue shirt as he reached for the box and took it out of Leah’s hands. “I can hold it while you set out the stock.”
Leah responded with effusive thanks.
Although Ada could barely see her friend’s profile, Leah’s brilliant smile and breathy voice sent warning signals. Ada didn’t want to jump to conclusions on such flimsy evidence. Leah flashed her wide smile at everyone. And she might be out of breath from climbing the ladder with a heavy box. Josiah could be the cause, though, because Ada’s lungs were struggling to draw in air, and she hadn’t been climbing ladders.
Josiah stood beneath the ladder, holding the heavy box with ease. Leah reached in and put items on the shelf. They worked together smoothly. Josiah seemed to know when and where to move the box to prevent Leah from straining. It almost seemed as if they’d done this together before.
After Leah had arranged several bottles on the shelf, Josiah looked up at her. “So as I was asking before that customer came in”—he shifted the box again so Leah could access it more easily—“do you want to go to the Sweetheart Dinner?”
Ada’s heart contracted in her chest. She’d thought…she’d hoped…after sledding together, she’d been so sure he’d ask to court her. She’d spent so many nights dreaming of them doing things together, having fun. And she’d even imagined their wedding. A wedding that could only ever be a fantasy. She couldn’t marry, not with so many responsibilities. But deep inside, she’d been holding out hope Josiah would embrace her and her siblings.
Ada pinched her lips together to keep from crying out. She had to flee, to get out of here, but her legs, her whole body had turned to ice. She stood frozen, waiting for her friend’s response.
Leah pushed a few bottles over to make more room and then looked down at Josiah, her expression serious. “You know I do.”
Ada uttered a small cry as her dreams shattered, and the other two turned to look at her, their faces surprised. Shocked. Worried.
She turned and fled then, slipping and sliding across the parking lot, fumbling to untie her horse. Behind her, the door banged open, and Josiah called her name. But Ada leapt into her buggy and urged her horse into a trot despite the danger.
“Adaaaaa!” echoed across the parking lot as Josiah chased after her. The buggy’s rearview mirror framed him and the frantic look on his face. In the background, Leah stood in the doorway, gaping.
Heedless of oncoming traffic, Ada turned the buggy onto the road, sending the wheels spinning and sliding. The horse strained to regain his footing as the buggy fishtailed, splattering slush. Once the buggy righted itself, the horse picked up speed, and they left Josiah far behind. But no matter how quickly she went, she couldn’t outrun the pain of betrayal.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Josiah pushed past Leah and grabbed his coat from the counter. “I have to go after her.”
Throwing on his coat, he raced across the parking lot and jumped into the buggy. Although he wanted to speed after her, he forced himself to drive with caution. If he were in an accident, he’d never be able to help her.
In addition to scanning for black ice, he watched for buggies that had skidded off the road. Although he kept his horse under control, he couldn’t rein in his thoughts. He hadn’t heard Ada come into the store. If he had, he would have waited to ask Leah his question. Or at least tried to explain the situation with Leah first.
He made it to Ada’s without incident. She must have also because he hadn’t passed her, but he’d knock on the door to be sure. Maybe she’d even allow him to explain about Leah.
He knocked, and the door opened. “I’m sorry about—” Miriam? What was she doing here? Had she come to visit?
Josiah stood on the porch, cold seeping through his coat, his toes numb. Now what?
“Josiah?” Miriam stared at him the way he’d been staring at her.
“I, um, stopped by to tell Ada something. It won’t take long. Is she around?”
“Not today. I’m babysitting and fixing dinner. It was her Christmas gift from the mamms at the school.”
Oh, that’s right. The mamms were taking turns babysitting. He’d forgotten. “Do you have any idea where she was headed?”
“Sorry, I didn’t ask.”
Josiah didn’t want Miriam to get the wrong idea. “I suppose it can wait.” He wanted to do it as soon as possible, though. He needed to make things perfectly clear.
* * *
Once Leah’s store was no longer visible in the rearview mirror, Ada turned the nearest corner and slowed her horse to a walk. She’d been foolish to speed in this weather, but her only thought had been to get away. She wandered aimlessly down a narrow lane. All she wanted to do now was head home and burrow into bed. Hide under the covers and never come out again. But she couldn’t. Miriam expected her to stay out all day.
All her dreams smashed. Her best friend with the man she loved. She wondered how long they’d been together, and why Josiah had invited her sledding. Ada groaned. He’d asked her along because she’d sounded wistful, and he was kind. He hadn’t come to the house to see her; he’d come for David. And she’d pushed her way into the invitation. He’d extended the same invitation to her siblings.
No matter how many romantic fantasies she wove, she had to be honest. He had never asked to court her. She’d built that illusion from the looks they’d shared, random touches that may have been accidental, and her own budding attraction. She didn’t want to admit it to herself, but she’d fallen in love with Josiah. A man who loved someone else.
Ada couldn’t face the questions Miriam would ask if she returned so early. She had to find some place warm to stay until dinnertime. She turned down the next road and headed toward Naomi’s Re-Uze-It, the Amish resale store run by one of her buddy bunch friends. She could pretend to shop for a few hours.
The shop was a few blocks off the main road, and when she pulled in, only two other buggies waited in the parking lot. Ada didn’t want to speak to anyone, but she readied herself to greet Naomi and face a barrage of questions.
To her relief, Naomi wasn’t at the counter. Her friend’s voice carried from upstairs as she and a customer discussed whether it was too early to buy toddler sizes for a newborn. Because the building had been converted from a house, it had many rooms. Ada slipped down to the basement where Naomi sold used furniture. She settled into a rocking chair in the back corner of the dim room where a tall cupboard hid her from view.
The gift of a free day from the schoolhouse parents seemed more of a burden than a blessing. It made her realize how alone she truly was. She had nowhere to go, no one to visit. And now she’d lost Leah. It would be too painful to spend time with her best friend since she’d be courting Josiah.
She’d still have to see Josiah at the schoolhouse, which would be painful, knowing he was promised to someone else. Unlike the Englisch, who dated around, the Amish waited until the couple had feelings that could lead to marriage before courting, so Josiah asking Leah to the Sweetheart Dinner meant a serious commitment. A commitment that could last a lifetime.
As the shop’s four o’clock closing time
neared, Naomi crisscrossed the floor overhead, and the stairs creaked to the second floor. Ada tiptoed up the basement stairs, and while Naomi closed doors and straightened merchandise on the second floor, Ada eased the outside door open and crossed the parking lot to her buggy.
Cold, gray dusk closed around her as she drove the long, lonely road home. She pulled into the barn, unhooked the buggy, and took care of her horse. Then she made her way to the house.
Miriam met her at the door. “Did you have a good time?” Before Ada could answer, she rushed on, “You have such wonderful brothers and sisters. I really enjoyed spending time with them. Dinner’s in the oven, and I need to hurry home to cook mine.”
“Thanks so much,” Ada managed to get out. Grateful that Miriam hadn’t questioned her about what she’d done, Ada started to close the door.
Miriam called over her shoulder, “I forgot. Josiah Yoder stopped by. He didn’t say what he wanted.”
Ada stood with the door hanging open, staring after Miriam. Why had Josiah come here? Maybe he’d been worried about her safety after she’d driven away so recklessly on an icy road, so he’d come to make sure she made it home safely. Slowly, she shut the door. At least she’d been spared the humiliation of facing him. From her reaction, both he and Leah probably figured out why she fled.
“Ada, you’re home!” Mary Elizabeth flung herself at Ada’s legs, hung on tight, and burst into tears. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” The only thing Ada had wanted today was to come home. Her life revolved around her siblings. And it was destined to stay that way.
Ada only picked at the casserole Miriam had left. Her stomach hurt, and she could barely finish the tiny amount she’d taken. Although her siblings polished off large portions, Ada found each bite tasted dry and flavorless. They had just finished their meal when someone knocked on the door.
While the twins cleared the table, Sadie went to answer the door. Leah’s voice floated down the hall, and the roiling in Ada’s stomach increased. She’d hoped to avoid Leah until the pain was less raw.
Sadie called down the hall, “Ada, Leah’s here to see you.”
Ada had no choice but to go. Leah was seated on the living room couch, so Ada took the rocking chair opposite her. The wooden slats against her back kept her upright when all she wanted to do was curl into herself.
Leah gave her a tentative smile. “Josiah came by to talk to you earlier?”
“Yes.” Ada took a deep breath to steady her voice, but before she could say she hadn’t seen him, Leah rushed on.
“So you know about the Sweetheart Dinner?”
Ada pushed the word yes from between clenched teeth.
Leah studied Ada’s face. “I thought you’d be happy for me. I’ve waited so long to date.”
If her friend were dating anyone other than Josiah, Ada would have been overjoyed. Although it was one of the hardest things she’d ever done, Ada forced a halfhearted smile. “I am happy you’ve found someone to court.” I only wish it were someone else.
Leah twisted her hands in her lap. “I’m so scared and nervous. What if I’m making a mistake?”
Ada wanted to say, You are. But she couldn’t let her own unhappiness influence Leah’s decision. Would Leah change her mind about dating Josiah if she knew Ada’s feelings? She longed to tell Leah, but that wouldn’t be fair to Josiah. He had chosen Leah. And she loved Josiah enough to want his happiness.
Another knock at the door sent Sadie scurrying down the hall with Mary Elizabeth close on her heels. Ada sat with her back to the door, and Sadie’s cheerful greeting froze Ada in place.
“Josiah,” she squealed. “Come in.”
Mary Elizabeth jumped up and down so hard the floor shook. “You’re going to read us a bedtime story again?”
“I’d be delighted.”
Leah leaned forward and whispered, “He’s a wonderful father, isn’t he?”
A picture flashed through Ada’s mind of Leah and Josiah reading bedtime stories to Nathan and their children, and she wanted to bolt from the room, burrow under her bedcovers, and let the tears flow.
Leah jumped up from the couch and hurried to the door. Ada stayed where she was, her back to them. She couldn’t bear to see their expressions when they greeted each other.
“I was just leaving,” Leah said. “I just came by to discuss things with Ada.”
“Drive carefully, Leah, and watch for black ice.” Josiah’s bass voice touched a chord deep within Ada. His words, though, were directed at someone else. He cared about Leah and wanted to keep her safe.
Leah’s soft danke conjured up a picture of them staring into each other’s eyes, reluctant to part. Maybe Ada could excuse herself by saying she was ill, which was the truth.
Before she could get up, Sadie led Josiah into the living room. Ada’s pulse raced as he passed her chair, and she issued a stern warning to herself. He belonged to another woman. She might not be able to rein in her physical responses to him, but she kept her gaze fixed on the needlepoint wall hanging to avoid temptation.
Josiah settled onto the sofa in the exact spot where Leah had been. “So Leah explained?”
Ada couldn’t push words past her closed-up throat, but she tipped her head up and down once. Oh, yes, Leah had explained. Josiah didn’t need to add his interpretation. He and Leah acted solicitous about Ada’s feelings, but she wished they’d leave her alone to deal with her feelings in private.
Sadie returned with David. “Hannah and the twins are finishing up the dishes. They’ll be here shortly.”
David signed, Nathan where?
Josiah signed back, Bed and sleep, and then turned to Ada. “I wanted to come earlier, but I decided it would be best to wait until Nathan was asleep.”
“How is Nathan doing?” Ada managed to ask a question that didn’t sound too shaky.
“The crying has decreased. He’s also been following me around more and copying what I’m doing.”
Ada pushed aside her own sorrow to respond, “That’s gut.”
“It is,” he agreed, but his eyes held deep pools of sadness. “If only he’d trust me enough to let me get close.”
Mary Elizabeth bounced into the room carrying the Bible story book and plopped down beside Josiah. Sadie sat on his other side. A short while later, the others joined them. Mary Elizabeth chose the story, and Josiah began reading.
For a short while, Ada fantasized they were a couple, but reality sliced through her. Her eyes blurred with tears, and the words faded into buzzing.
When the story ended, Sadie hustled her siblings off to get ready for bed, and Ada was alone with Josiah.
Josiah cleared his throat and then said, “I wanted a chance to talk to you about what happened in the health food store.”
Why? So you could be the one to drive the knife deeper into my heart?
“I’m sorry you had to hear my question to Leah. If I’d known you were there, I would have explained first.”
His apologetic glance only added to her growing agony. Josiah cared enough about her feelings not to hurt her. If only he cared enough not to court someone else.
“After what happened between us on Miller’s Hill”—Josiah appeared to be studying every detail of the wooden floorboards—“I didn’t want you to think I, um…”
So she hadn’t misinterpreted his looks? He’d been as attracted to her as she’d been to him? That made this whole situation even harder to bear. Ada lowered her gaze, hoping not looking at him would lessen some of the pain, but it didn’t help.
“When I suggested the Sweetheart Dinner, I wasn’t sure Leah would agree, but she did. She was hesitant, but that’s understandable.”
No, it’s not. Ada’s heart twisted. I wouldn’t have hesitated for even a second. She glanced up, but wished she hadn’t. It reminded her of all she’d lost.
When she didn’t answer, he continued, “I hope she’ll be happy.”
One part of Ada hoped so too, but the other part…
“Now that Leah’s explained, I hope we can go back to being”—he swallowed hard—“friends.”
Under the circumstances, Ada didn’t feel it would be appropriate, but to say no might mean cutting Josiah out of her life completely.
When she didn’t answer, he continued, “I hope things will work out for Leah and Ben.”
“Ben? Who’s Ben?”
Josiah gazed at her, a question in his eyes. “Leah didn’t tell you?”
“Not about Ben.” Ada struggled to make sense of the conversation. “I thought the two of you…”
“Oh, Ada.” Josiah’s words were anguished. “All this time, you thought Leah and I—?”
Yes, she had. Was he trying to say he and Leah weren’t together? “But you asked her to the Sweetheart Dinner?” She’d heard those words coming out of his mouth, and she’d heard Leah’s answer.
“No, I didn’t. I mean, yes, I did, but not for me. My cousin Ben is visiting from Ohio, and he’s been picking up Mamm’s orders at Stoltzfus’s store. He’s interested in Leah, but he’s shy. He wanted me to ask her in case she said no.”
“You were asking Leah to the dinner for someone else?” Ada tried to wrap her mind around his explanation.
Josiah nodded. “You couldn’t think I’d ask anyone else out after…after the other day?”
“I’d hoped not,” she said shyly, “but when I heard—”
“I’m so sorry you walked in right then.” He reached across and took her hand. “I never want to hurt you.”
The caring look in Josiah’s eyes melted Ada’s heart. He caressed the backs of her hands with his thumbs, sending warmth cascading through her.
“Ada?” Josiah hesitated, and she waited breathlessly for him to finish. “Would you like to go skating next Saturday?”
Yes, yes, oh yes! Ada danced inside but managed to answer demurely. “I’d like that.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
The Amish Teacher's Gift Page 27
