by E. M. Abel
“What makes you think he’s going to care, Sky? He was an asshole then, and chances are, he’s still an asshole now. He’s got plenty of his daddy’s money to burn, so spending it won’t teach him anything.”
“Don’t you worry about me, D. I’ve got it planned out. He’s going to pay, and I’m going to enjoy every second of it. Now, pass me the hot sauce.”
A few hours later, Sky went to work her second job, walking dogs, and I sat on the couch with Kuma, watching baseball. Her big head was in my lap as I rubbed her favorite spot behind her ears. She groaned when I stopped to reach for my notebook on the coffee table but didn’t budge as I rested it on her side and started writing.
You want love without the pain.
Want all the sun but not the rain.
Take the blame.
You drive me insane.
Ribbons of guilt…wrap around you, like silk holding you together…as I fall apart…
Fuck.
I scribbled over the words I’d written and tossed the notebook and pen on the couch beside me. I hadn’t written a song in so long, and it was frustrating the hell out of me. When Sky and I had first moved to New York, I’d been inspired by everything—the people, the energy, the culture—but, now, nothing. Something was missing that had been there before, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
Hope? Passion maybe?
The longer I spent working construction and doing gigs in run-down bars, the further my dream of pursuing music seemed to slip away.
Running my hand through my hair, I sighed and watched the Orioles hit a home run before getting off the couch.
“Let me get changed, and then we’ll go for a walk, okay?” I rubbed Kuma’s head one more time before walking down the hall toward my small bedroom.
I pulled my T-shirt over my head, tossing it onto the pile of dirty laundry, as my phone started to ring. It was my friend and coworker Matteo.
“Hello?”
“I got you a gig this Thursday.”
Matteo had gone to see one of my shows about six months ago and had taken on the job as my manager even though I’d told him no a million times.
“Okay.”
“Oh no, please don’t say thank you or anything.”
“I’ll thank you when I see the place,” I muttered, walking toward my dresser to get another shirt.
Matteo had booked me a few gigs in some really shady places in the past few months. There was nothing like singing to a crowd of gangbangers and motorcycle clubs to force you to work on your stage presence. I supposed I should have thanked him for the experience, but a fan’s boyfriend had nearly stabbed me after one of my sets, so I guessed I was still holding a grudge.
“Don’t even sweat it, dude. This is a classy joint. I went there last night. It’s called The Angry Beaver.”
I stopped moving and closed my eyes. “Seriously?”
“Hey! Don’t turn all diva on me now, man. We’ve gotta take what we can get. You never know what might happen.”
“We?”
“Yes, we, motherfucker. Look, I’m not asking you for any money, am I? All I ask is, if you make it, you take me with you. Let me be your manager, your water boy, your roadie, whatever. As long as I get some pussy and get to travel the world with you.”
I chuckled and shook my head. “Don’t hold your breath. You know how many people are out there, trying to make it? My chances are slim to none.”
“Yeah, well, none of them are you. And you need to stop fucking talking like that. Haven’t you ever heard of the law of attraction? You’ve gotta put those positive thoughts out there if you want them to happen.”
“You sound like Sky.”
“Well, she’s right—and sexy as fuck, too. Make sure she knows about the show, so I can sit next to her fine ass. I still don’t understand how you can be around that woman so much without ever tryin’ to hit it.”
“I told you, we grew up together. It’s not like that.”
“Yeah, whatever. Just tell me you’ll be there this Thursday at nine.”
Sighing, I contemplated telling him no, but I knew I couldn’t. My music meant too much to me. “I’ll be there.”
A few minutes later, Kuma and I were walking down a busy Brooklyn sidewalk as I listened to music. Having a hundred-twenty-pound rottweiler beside me helped part the sea of pedestrians. We stopped for a second, so Kuma could pee on her favorite patch of grass when a gust of wind blew a sheet of paper onto the ground, right under her stream. I heard someone shouting, and I pulled out an earbud as a woman came running toward us.
“Oh no! No! No!”
I glanced down at Kuma, who had her ears back and her head down, as if she’d done something wrong.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” the woman shouted as she stopped beside me, longingly staring at the sheet of paper. She held her hand out toward the ground. “That was my headshot, and he peed on it. It was the last one I had left, and of course, of all the places, it landed under a peeing dog.”
“She.”
The woman seemed startled by my voice, and she finally lifted her gaze from the paper to look at me. Her eyes widened a little. “Huh?”
“She peed on it,” I said, tilting my head toward Kuma, who was still staring up at her.
Her perfectly manicured hand covered her eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at your dog. I’m running late, and…fuck. That was my last headshot.”
As my eyes crawled their way up her legs, I began to realize how sexy this woman was. She had a lean body, full lips, and golden eyes that seemed to sparkle when the sun hit them just right. She had a head of thick black hair, full of tight curls.
“Headed to an audition?” I asked, bending down to pinch a corner of her photograph that hadn’t been peed on. I picked it up and shook it out. It was a good shot.
She cracked a smile then, and my curiosity grew into attraction. She had a unique and unpretentious beauty that I wasn’t used to seeing. I was half-black and half-Puerto Rican, and we had similar skin tones, but her features were more exotic than mine. I wondered where she’d gotten them.
“No. I’m going to be in a few shows during Fashion Week. One of the designers asked to see my headshot.”
Impressive.
“Wow. Fashion Week, huh? Congratulations.”
“Thanks. I guess I’ll have to go without that,” she said, gesturing toward the photo I still held out beside me. Her eyes narrowed as she studied my face. “Why do you look so familiar? Are you an actor?”
I chuckled. “No.”
There was that smile again, even bigger this time. “Why is that funny?”
“I don’t know. No one has asked me that before. Do I look like an actor?” I asked, glancing down at my worn jeans and white T-shirt.
“Sure. Why not? You definitely have the face for it,” she said, her cheeks growing pink. She averted her gaze to Kuma sniffing the grass.
Is she flirting with me?
“No, I’m not an actor. I sing though. You might’ve seen me at one of the local bars.”
Her eyes quickly came back to mine, and surprise and recognition morphed her features. “Holy shit! That’s it!” She snapped her fingers in the air a few times. “Derek…Daryl…”
“Dillon,” I said, correcting her.
“Yes! Dillon! Dillon Frazier, right? Oh my God, you are so good! I can’t believe I didn’t remember.”
Now, I was the one blushing. I’d always been uncomfortable with receiving those types of compliments.
I gave her a half-smile. “Thanks.”
“Oh, man, I have to run,” she said, looking back in the direction where she’d come. “Do you…I can’t believe I’m doing this…” She tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “Do you think you’d want to go out with me sometime?”
My smile widened, and so did hers. “Yeah, sure. I’d like that.”
“Okay.” She bit her bottom lip.
We both stood there, staring at each other for
a few seconds, before I thought I should probably get her number.
I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and went to my Contacts. “Can I have your number?” After she gave it to me, I realized I still didn’t know her name. “What’s your name?”
“Natasha,” she said, her golden eyes staring up at me.
“Nice to meet you, Natasha.”
SKY
His arms are so much larger than I remember.
I sat across from Logan at Sakana as he ordered our food. I wore my sexiest dress with cutouts revealing the space below my boobs and most of my back. It was one of my favorite designs, and I only broke it out for very special occasions. I’d even flat-ironed my hair. I made sure to wear a warm and flirtatious smile as I plotted his demise.
Despite Logan’s black heart, there was no denying that his body was fantastic. His face wasn’t hard to look at either, but the best part was how enthusiastic he seemed about our date. It was almost as if he’d forgotten what he’d done to me. Shit, maybe he had.
When the waiter left, I lifted my eyes to find Logan staring at me.
I gave him my best coy grin. “What?”
“I still can’t believe we found each other again.”
The truth was, Logan had been my first love. He was also my first and only boyfriend. I’d fallen for him hard. Not only because he had been popular and handsome, but also because he’d noticed me when no other boy had. Unfortunately, his attention was all I’d required in exchange for that love, and once he’d grown bored, he’d not only dumped me, but he’d also done it in the worst way. I’d trusted him. I’d told him things that I’d never told anyone, and he’d betrayed me.
My abusive asshole of a father might have been the first man to shove my hope for love into a tiny, splintered wooden box, but Logan’s betrayal was the final nail in the coffin, laying it to rest. He didn’t realize it, but he’d changed me. I wasn’t the same naive little girl anymore. And, as much as I’d tried to forget him and move on, the pain still haunted me years later.
Perhaps I should thank him for turning me into the woman I was today. Now, I knew how dangerous and unforgiving love could really be, and I stayed far away from it.
“Small world,” I murmured before taking a sip of my wine to mask the taste of bitterness on my tongue.
Things grew silent, and Logan was watching me with a thoughtful gaze, his lips rubbing together, as if he were contemplating his next words.
“Can I be honest with you?”
I dipped my chin, almost scared of what he might say.
“I’m stunned that you even spoke to me last night. After the way I’d treated you, I wouldn’t blame you if you never talked to me again.”
“I was drunk.”
“True. And I was an asshole back then. The truth is, Sky, you scared me. I never expected to care about you so much. So, I made sure to fuck it up the best I could.” He chuckled humorlessly.
For the first time that night, I was sincerely interested in what he was saying.
“Relationships have never been my strength, but I’ve changed. I want you to know that. I want you to feel safe with me.”
I sat there for a second as his words registered in my brain. He’s admitting his faults. He’s being honest. Shit. Shit. Shit.
He wasn’t supposed to be nice. He was supposed to be an arrogant asshole. My plot for revenge was being thwarted by his vulnerability and kindness.
Fucker.
It had to be an act. A very good act, I might add.
Refusing to back down, I pretended to be touched by his admission as I held up my glass of wine. “Well then, to new beginnings.”
Logan’s apprehensive expression slowly lifted into a bright smile as he raised his glass and took a drink, but his eyes never left mine. He was trying to read me, and I didn’t like it.
Clearing my throat, I placed my glass back down on the table. “So, what have you been up to all these years?”
“I own a gym called Solid here in the city. I opened the first one in DC last year.”
I’d heard of Solid, and I had to admit, I was impressed. I’d expected him to take over his father’s empire of car dealerships. No doubt that was what his dad had wanted.
“So, you didn’t follow in your father’s footsteps? I assumed you’d take over the family business.”
He chuckled, but I didn’t miss the way his tongue slid over his top teeth, as if he were trying to rein in his anger.
“Yeah, well, my father and I aren’t on speaking terms. He’s practically disowned me.”
I raised my eyebrows in curiosity, but the waiter arrived with our appetizer before I could ask why. I was surprised he was doing so well on his own, especially since he was only twenty-three—although, I was sure, growing up rich had definitely given him a leg up on the rest of us. I’d attended an online college for two years, and I was still paying off student loans. I guessed it wasn’t his daddy’s money we’d be spending tonight after all.
“Enough about me. What have you been up to?”
Logan used his chopsticks to pick up a piece of gyoza. As he dipped it in some soy sauce, his green eyes lifted to meet mine. I always loved his eyes.
I shrugged. “Not much. Dillon and I moved out here after I graduated. We’d made a pact that we’d get out of Maryland once I was done with school, and we decided New York would be the best place to pursue our dreams.”
Logan chewed for a second. “Dillon, huh? You guys are still friends? Are you roommates or something?”
“Best friends actually. We still talk every day. We did live together for a little while, but once we started making more money, we went out on our own. It sucks, not being able to walk around in your underwear, you know?”
Logan smirked, and his eyes drifted down to my breasts. “That would be tragic.”
I drank some wine. There’s the scumbag.
“Does he know you agreed to see me tonight?”
I laughed. “Yeah, but he wasn’t too happy about it.”
“I bet.” He paused to take a drink, his eyes still watching me. “So, what is it that you do?”
“I’m work for Frederico Rossi—you know, the designer?”
He nodded. “I’ve heard of him.”
“And I sometimes walk dogs on the weekends, too. But my real passion is making clothes.”
Logan didn’t say anything at first; he thoughtfully looked at me, his lips curving into a small grin.
“What?”
“I was noticing how your eyes lit up when you talked about the things you loved. It’s beautiful.”
I smiled, heat rushing to my cheeks, and took another sip of my wine.
Damn it, Sky. Don’t fall for it.
“Did you make that dress?” he asked, his gaze dipping to my cleavage.
“I did,” I replied, making sure to press my breasts together as I set my glass down. “Do you like it?”
“I love it. Can you make it in my size?”
I smirked. “I’m afraid it wouldn’t be as flattering on those shoulders.” I pointed to them with my chopsticks before taking a gyoza for myself.
“Damn.” He smiled at me, and as much as I tried to fight it, I smiled back.
Rubbing my legs together under the table, I was startled by my body’s strong reaction to him. Logan was gorgeous, but he was the enemy. So, why was I so horny? I could feel him watching me, and it only made things worse.
Logan wasn’t like I remembered. He was observant, his eyes were penetrating, and he seemed genuine, which was the worst of all. I’d prefer it if he acted more like the shallow jerk I knew.
“So, you’re handsome and successful, why aren’t you married yet?” I asked, trying to distract myself with his flaws. I was sure there was plenty wrong with him. I just needed to find out what.
“Oh, wow. You don’t waste any time, do you?” He chuckled.
I took a bite of food and chewed. He wasn’t going to charm his way out of this one.
“To be honest, I don’t think I want to get married. I don’t know that I believe in it.”
I swallowed. I didn’t believe in marriage either. I’d say that to Dillon all the time, and he’d always roll his eyes and tell me I’d change my mind when I met the right person. But I didn’t think I would. I didn’t believe spending your entire life with one person made any sense. It sounded so limiting, boring…and scary. That was way too much power to give to someone.
“I hope I haven’t ruined our date,” he said, carefully watching me.
“I don’t believe in marriage either. I think it’s almost cruel to expect someone to stay with one person for the rest of their life.”
Logan’s face lit up. “Really?”
“Really.”
“Well, that’s promising,” he said with a smile. “Just when I thought this date couldn’t get any better.”
This date was a total shitshow. This was not how I’d wanted things to go. Logan was smart, charming, and oh-so hot. I was totally fucked.
Two hours later, I was pulling Logan into my apartment door. My hands were fisted in his shirt as his explored my body, and our tongues fought for dominance in each other’s mouths.
“You’re so damn sexy, Sky.” He groaned as he pulled away to make a trail of kisses down my neck. “You’ve got me so fucking hard.”
I moaned when his big hand squeezed my ass, pulling me in to feel how hard. He kicked the door shut behind us, and I took a step back, taking his hand in mine to bring him further into my apartment, but he didn’t move. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment as he clearly fought for control.
Oh no, no, no. He can’t reject me now.
Reaching behind me, I slowly unzipped my dress and let it fall to the floor. His chest filled with air as his eyes perused my nearly naked body. I noticed his dick jump in his pants, and a mischievous grin curved my lips.
