“Thank you. I swear I can’t communicate with him. All he cares about are his programs. You try to have a conversation about anything else and forget it. He’s such a geek. It’s like he can’t even look me in the eye when he talks.”
“He’s been through a lot.”
“Like what?” Steven asked. “I’m in business bed with this guy-you, too, for that matter, and it didn’t dawn on me until your wedding reception how much I really don’t know about either of you.”
“You know we’re good at what we do,” Dominic said softly. “What else do you need?”
Steven stood and ran a hand through his blond hair. “Look, I’m sorry. It’s just Russell is on my ass to make sure this company gets that government contract and makes good on his investment. Sometimes I think I never should have taken his money, but I know this business is about to explode. Did you see the article in the New York Times? Someone cracked the encryption code on data being sent to a major insurance company in Los Angeles. It’s the second incident this month. That kind of bad publicity for our competitors is gold for us. Especially now.”
“I know.”
“So I can trust Denny. When he says the code is foolproof, it’s foolproof, right?”
“You can trust me. I wouldn’t let Denny put out a product I didn’t know he believed in. As for his special project, if I think it’s worth his attention I’ll convince him to pursue it again.”
Steven nodded. “Okay.” He turned to leave but stopped. “So it’s been three weeks. How is married life treating you?”
Wonderfully. Horribly. How the hell was he supposed to answer that? “Fine.”
“It’s got its perks. But it can also be a kick in the pants.”
“I’m discovering that,” Dominic said.
“Anne wants to have you two over for dinner. Do something a little more intimate than the party she sprung on you.”
“That sounds okay.”
“Not that it will matter.” Steven shrugged with a smile. “I doubt they’re destined to be BFFs.”
Dominic’s gut clenched. “What makes you say that?”
“It’s obvious. Anne is Anne. She’s like a force of nature. Caroline seems more like the reserved type. Quiet.”
An irrational anger zipped through Dominic at the mere thought of comparing the two women. It startled him so much he deliberately didn’t defend her. “Caroline is quiet. Yes. But like you said we’re partners in this business. In bed together figuratively. That means our wives are too, to some extent.”
Steven nodded. “I imagine you two are probably going to want to start a family right away.”
The personal nature of the request surprised Dominic but he couldn’t say it was out of character. The longer he knew Steven, the more he realized he was coming to count on the man as a friend as well as partner. Now having something in common other than the business, Steven had been making an effort to take that relationship further.
Or he could have another reason entirely for asking him the question. Either way, Dominic figured he deserved the truth.
“Yes.”
He smiled a little sadly. “Anne wants to wait a bit longer. Says she’s not ready to be anyone’s mommy yet.”
Dominic didn’t know what to say in response. But when Steven didn’t leave he tried to sound encouraging. “Soon. I’m sure.”
“Thanks. You’ll let me know what happens with you and Denny.”
“I will.”
Caroline watched the clock on her desk. The short hand pointed to the seven and the long hand tipped past the twelve. Long since done working, she turned off her laptop and tried not to think about how little she had accomplished.
She hadn’t eaten much all day and, given the time, knew she should be famished, but she wasn’t. Her stomach was too filled with dread. He’d be home eventually. He would walk through the door like he’d done since she’d been living in his house-her home-and what?
Would he lean down and kiss her as he’d gotten into the habit of doing? Would he apologize for being an ass and fall at her feet begging for forgiveness? Would he say that he’d lied and she didn’t really suffocate him?
Or would he simply behave as if nothing had happened. As if he meant it.
That would be the real lie. She’d been sleeping in the same bed with him for over a month. If she moved away at all during the night, he would either follow her or pull her back against his side. He’d never felt suffocated before.
Five weeks, she thought desperately. Five weeks of knowing him, three weeks of being married to him and already she was crazy. Angry and hurt.
Afraid.
Slamming her hands down on the desk, Caroline stood. Unapologetic that she’d startled Munch.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. She didn’t want all this. Less isolation. Less fear. Maybe a family. That’s all she wanted. All she imagined she could have when she’d decided to be something else besides a coward.
Instead he invaded her thoughts throughout the day. He was in her dreams at night. When he touched her, she felt things that she never thought were possible. Making love to him had taken on an importance she’d never believed possible.
And with a few short sentences, he’d wreaked havoc.
Now the fear was back and it made her want to leave him. To go home now before he could hurt her any more.
But she wouldn’t go. She knew she needed to hang on. To fight. For him as much as for her.
The front door opened and Munch leapt up to welcome her master home. Caroline watched as he patted the dog’s head and dropped his briefcase in the foyer. He looked around and saw her. She’d set up her office in the living room.
“Hello.”
She lifted her hand negligently. “Hey.”
“You’ve been working.”
Not really. “Yes. New project. I like to outline first.”
“Have you eaten?”
This was awful. Her heart shouted at her. Say something. Do something. You are married to this man. Fight for him!
But Caroline just shook her head. “There’s some leftover pasta from last night. I can heat it up.”
“I’m just going to change.”
Change, she thought. How about from the cold distant man who was standing in the foyer back into the one who last week had come home after a day of work and lifted her onto the kitchen table and made love to her until she’d screamed with ecstasy?
It might have been minutes or an hour before she heard his footsteps coming down the stairs. Only then did she realize she hadn’t moved from her spot near her desk. Quickly she made her way to the kitchen and stuck her head deep inside the refrigerator so she wouldn’t have to look at him.
The cold began to numb her nose until she was forced to extract the pasta. She jumped when she saw how close he was standing. She opened her mouth to say something curt, maybe even something spiteful, but the words wouldn’t come.
“I’m sorry.”
Slowly she released the breath she’d been holding.
“I didn’t mean what I said last night. I was irritated about something else and I took it out on you.”
“Irritated about what?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“I think it does. I’m not an expert but I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to talk about what bothers us.”
His lips thinned and she could see that there was something else bugging him. He didn’t want to have this conversation with her now. He just wanted the argument to be over. This was good, she decided. She was learning him.
“Something happened at work today?”
His jaw twitched and he looked away from her. She watched him shake his head slightly as if debating what he would tell her.
“You don’t have to tell me.”
“No, it’s not that. I don’t know if I should. I need to think it through. Denny did something. I’m not even sure how to describe it. Maybe dangerous.”
“Dangerous?” She thought back
to the awkward man she’d met at Anne’s surprise reception. Dangerous certainly wasn’t a word she would have attributed to him. Nervous, though. He’d definitely been nervous.
“Let’s forget it. I wanted to apologize. I’ve done that. I don’t want to talk about Denny. Not until I can get my head wrapped around it. Can we eat?”
Dismissed. As efficiently as he’d tossed her from his bed last night. For one second she thought to press him, instead she bit her tongue. This was a process. Learning him. Learning how to live with him. Learning how to fight, too. Like a book she could only deal with one chapter at a time. This wasn’t over, though. Not by a long shot.
“Dinner was good,” Dominic muttered. She felt a hand reach out to stroke her hair.
He was kidding. He had to be. His hand moved to her shoulder. The invitation was clear but she couldn’t imagine he was making it. Not this soon after last night. His finger ran along her arm gently caressing her skin. She trembled at the contact, but pulled out of his reach.
He sighed. “I take it I’m not forgiven.”
She heard the frustration in his voice and it triggered her anger. She told herself that it was a risk confronting him now. But apparently she wasn’t as patient as she thought she was.
Rolling off the bed, her feet hit the carpet. “I’m not good at this, Dominic. I’m not a confrontational person. I’m an observer. A witness. A writer.” A coward, she reminded herself.
But not tonight. Tonight she had to be brave.
Dominic threw off the covers and stood on the other side of the bed. Naked. Unashamed. Glorious. And pissed. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about this tug-of-war we seem to be engaged in. You think I don’t know what you’re doing? I get too close and you push me away.”
“I married you. You live in my house, sleep in my bed. How much closer do you need to be?”
“You kicked me out of your bed last night. I want to know why.”
“I told you.”
“You lied.” She saw him flinch, but she pressed on. “There wasn’t anything bothering you last night. You made love to me like you couldn’t get inside me deep enough and then it was over and you were gone. Still beside me but gone. Last night wasn’t the first time, either. You don’t like to touch me after we make love or hold me. Fine, I can deal with that. But did you know that as soon as you fall asleep you always pull me back in your arms? I’m not a yo-yo, Dominic. Are you scared of what’s happening? It’s okay. I’m scared, too.”
His cheeks flushed but he remained immobile. “I’m not scared,” he said tightly. “I told you up front how this relationship would work.”
“You told me you were a workaholic. I can live with that. As long as when we’re together you let us be together.”
He closed his eyes and shook his head. “What do you want from me?”
She took a deep breath. Held it and then asked for what she knew she really wanted. “More.”
“More,” he repeated softly. “More? When I’ve already…” He caught himself and crossed his arms over his chest. “Fine. What’s more? You want me to talk to you about work?”
“No. Not the superficial stuff, anyway. It’s like a practiced speech every time you come home. The office was busy, plans are moving ahead on the government contract. Denny’s behaving strangely. You never talk about the people there. These people who share the biggest part of your life with you. I’ve been down to your office. Talked with them myself just so I could get to know you better. Do you know that Serena has a brother and a niece still living in Mexico and she’s working to get them a visa? Did you know that there are rumors about Denny having a crush on a real live woman?”
“I don’t gossip. It’s not what I consider professional.”
“Oh, please. It’s not about professionalism. It’s about you and your damn control. Everything in its place. Don’t let anyone get too close. I see it in the way you eat, dress and work. But not when you make love. You lose it then, don’t you? That’s why you push me away.”
“I don’t have to explain myself to you.” His expression was closed. Neutral. As if he were debating with a stranger instead of fighting with his wife. It infuriated her.
“Yes, you do,” she snapped. “I’m your wife. You have to explain things to me. Tell me why you walk through life with these self-imposed bars between you and everybody else in the world.”
“You’re imagining things.”
“Trust me. I couldn’t have a created a character as screwed up as you. Not unless there was a reason.” She circled the bed to stand closer to him, but didn’t touch him. Partly because she was afraid he would step back and it would break her heart if he did. “Is there a reason? Were you abused? Did your father hit you?”
“I had no father.”
“Then tell me something. You never talk about your past. It’s like you were born the CEO of Encrypton. Tell me about the boy. Tell me what happened to him to make the man. Was it your mother? Did she abandon you?”
“Leave her out of this,” he said his voice chillingly cold. “My mother loved me. I loved her. That’s all you need to know.”
“Then who? Who broke your heart, who taught you not to trust? Another woman? Anne? Or maybe that former employee in D.C. that you were going to see. Was it her? Did she hurt you when she left?”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
Not so ridiculous. There was a reaction in his face just then and despite what he’d told her, she would bet her life whoever that woman was, she wasn’t just an employee. Fear seeped inside her gut. “I won’t spend my life with a man who is in love with someone else.”
“For God’s sake, I’m not in love with anyone!”
With that the fight left her. “I guess not.” She sunk heavily on to the bed.
He paced in front of her and she could sense his agitation. “Is that what you thought? That we would play house, have sex and in a month we’d be in love. You’re not stupid, Caroline. You should have known better.”
The strap on her nightgown dipped off her shoulder, but she didn’t fuss with it. “I guess I should have. I didn’t. I’m falling in love with you.”
The silence above her was deafening.
Then finally he said, “I don’t know what to say to that.”
“I don’t need you to say you love me. But I think I need to know that someday you could.”
More silence. “I have to go.”
Caroline jerked her head up. “Go?” She hadn’t figured on that. Hadn’t guessed he might run.
He disappeared behind the partition that separated the bedroom from the master bath and closets and came back dressed in sweats, his feet halfway shoved into sneakers.
“I’m going to the office. I need to think.” He walked past her to the door, stopped and turned. “I never considered that I would hurt you. When I decided to do this.”
She smiled sadly. “Never thought that anyone would fall in love with you?”
“No.”
“Well, that’s a problem. Isn’t it?”
He left and Caroline felt the air being sucked out of her with his departure. Maybe she’d been stupid to confront him. Maybe she should have given it more time before she pressed him.
But she wanted him. All of him. Unexpected, but there it was. And she knew, knew, that he felt something for her. He had to. He couldn’t touch her like he did and not be unaffected. But he was fighting it.
The important thing to remember was that this was only a skirmish in the war. Looking at it strategically, he hadn’t said he loved her. But he also hadn’t said that he couldn’t love her. Instead he had retreated.
A very un-Dominic-like thing to do she imagined. On some level she frightened him and that could only be possible if he was vulnerable. That was good.
Rolling back onto the bed she tugged the covers over her and willed herself to relax. Only a battle. Still a long way to go. When he came home they could talk again. This time without the
yelling. Over time she would convince him that there were worse things than being loved by his wife.
And she would tell him that she wasn’t leaving.
She sensed that he needed to hear that. It had to be the first thing she said to him the next time she saw him. Everything depended on it.
Chapter 6
“Are you looking at me funny?”
Lieutenant Mark Hernandez of the San Jose police force asked the uniformed officer standing next to him in Dominic Santos’s fancy top-floor office.
Mark had been staring out the window overlooking the city, wondering why a guy who had all of this would have done what he’d done. His disgust at the waste must have shown on his lean angular face because he could have sworn that the officer was looking at him strangely.
“No, sir.”
Mark leaned toward the man who was still more kid than cop. He checked his surroundings, then asked in a low tone, “You got a cigarette?”
“You quit, sir.”
“That wasn’t what I asked.”
“No, sir.”
“No, you don’t have a cigarette?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Okay, now you’re messing with me.”
“I’m really not, sir.”
In dire need of a single puff of smoke, Mark walked out of the office and surveyed the lobby, hoping to find someone whom he hadn’t expressly forbidden to give him a cigarette. Instead he spotted the secretary who was still sitting behind her desk, apparently waiting for her boss to come walking down the hall any minute.
“We’re done questioning you. You’re free to go.”
She looked at him, her face expressionless. “I work here.”
“Trust me when I tell you your boss won’t notice your absence.”
“Mr. Santos wouldn’t do what you think he did.”
A loyal employee. It wasn’t such a bad quality. “Go home. Serena, wasn’t it?”
She nodded.
“He’s not coming in today.”
Her face fell and it seemed as if his words had finally registered. She pulled her purse out of a drawer and headed for the elevators. The doors slid open and as Serena stepped into the elevator, another woman got off.
Suspect Lover Page 5
