by Anne Fraser
As they approached the bay, Meagan could see that there was someone standing outside her house, shielded eyes looking out to sea. Catching a shimmer of red she recognised the figure as Jessie. She could see from the way Jessie was pacing that something was wrong. She felt a flicker of anxiety. Was something wrong with Effie?
Cameron noticed Jessie at the same time. He stood, pulling on his T-shirt. ‘Something’s up,’ he said. Quickly he took down the sails. He jumped out leaving Meagan to finish sorting out the boat. As she worked she watched Jessie run towards Cameron. She was gesticulating and clearly agitated. Moments later Cameron jumped into his car and sped off.
Hastily, Meagan finished securing the boat and ran towards Jessie.
‘What is it, Jessie? What’s wrong?’
‘It’s Ian. He was complaining of stomach pain this morning. I wasn’t too bothered at first. I thought he had probably caught the same bug Effie had. But now he’s in real pain. I think it’s more serious. When I couldn’t get hold of Cameron, I tried the practice in the south, but I couldn’t get them either. Then I came down here just as you were coming back in.’ The words came out in a rush.
‘I’ll just grab my bag, Jessie. Then I’ll go back with you to Grimsay House.’ As she spoke, she ran towards her house, Jessie following. Once there, Meagan darted into her bedroom and pulled a pair of jeans and a top over her bikini. Scooping up her medical bag, she took a distressed Jessie by the arm.
‘C’mon, Jessie,’ she said, ushering her into her car. ‘Try not to worry. Kids can seem very ill and then the next minute they’re as right as rain.’
But she could see that Jessie wasn’t convinced. In a few minutes they were inside Grimsay House. Meagan followed Jessie as she ran up to Ian’s room. There they found Cameron examining his son, a worried look on his face. He turned towards Meagan, frowning.
‘I think it’s appendicitis. In fact, I know it’s appendicitis.’
Ian, his little face pinched, moaned softly.
‘I want Mummy, Daddy. Where is my mummy?’
‘Shh, my darling. She’s in London. She’d be here if she could. In the meantime, you have to be a brave boy and let Daddy look after you.’
As he looked away from his son, Meagan could see anguish written all over his face. She touched his shoulder. He flinched away from her touch as if he’d been burnt. She dropped her hand to her side.
‘Let me look at him, Cameron,’ she said quietly.
Cameron stood aside while Meagan examined the little boy. When Ian cried out when she pressed the right side of his abdomen, she knew that Cameron’s initial diagnosis was correct.
She took Cameron by the arm and, leaving Jessie to comfort the boy, took Cameron to one side.
‘I agree,’ she said. ‘It’s appendicitis. What do you want to do?’
‘He needs surgery,’ Cameron said. He pulled a hand through his thick dark hair and Meagan’s heart went out to him. She longed to put her arms around him and comfort him, but here in front of his child wasn’t the place.
‘Have we time to send him to Stornoway?’ she asked.
‘I don’t think so,’ Cameron replied. ‘I think we should go ahead and operate at the hospital.’
‘In that case, I’ll do the surgery,’ Meagan said firmly. ‘Could you get hold of someone to anaesthetise?’
Cameron looked at Meagan. ‘I don’t know. Maybe we should get him airlifted to Glasgow? They have surgeons there who do this every day of the week.’
He didn’t trust her to operate on his son, even after all they had been through. But could she blame him? They were talking about his child. But neither could he operate on Ian. A doctor needed a certain distance from his patient.
‘If you think there is time, yes,’ she said. ‘That’s what we will do.’
Cameron rubbed his jaw. It was the first time she had seen him look indecisive.
‘Cameron,’ she said, ‘whatever we decide to do, we need to make a decision now.’
‘You’ve examined him. What do you think?’
‘I think the risk of waiting until we get him to Glasgow is far greater than operating here. The surgery is fairly routine. I can handle it, Cameron. I would tell you if I had any doubts. I told you before, emergency surgery is where I have a lot of practice. You have to believe me when I say I have more surgical experience than general practice.’
‘But what if there are complications? No disrespect to you but anything could happen. If the appendix ruptures before we remove it, he could die.’
‘And the longer we wait, the greater chance there is of that happening.’
Cameron stared at his son for one long moment. He seemed to make up his mind.
‘Let’s call in the air ambulance. They’ll be able to give us a rough time of arrival. In the meantime, let’s get the theatre in Benbecula organised. That way, if it looks as if his condition is deteriorating rapidly, we can go ahead with surgery.’
‘That sounds like a plan. Let’s get going.’ Meagan turned to Ian, crouching by his side.
‘Ian, you need an operation on your tummy,’ Meagan said. ‘It won’t hurt because you will be fast asleep. But we need to get you to a hospital so we can do the operation. Do you understand?’
‘Are you going to do it, Daddy?’ the little boy asked his father.
‘No, mo ghaol,’ his father said. ‘It’s not a good idea for fathers to operate on their little boys. But, I’ll be right next to you all the time. And I’ll be there when you wake up.
‘Will Mummy be there too?’
Cameron shook his head. Meagan could see from the way he clenched his jaw that he was trying hard not to let his child see his pain. Tears filled Ian’s eyes.
‘I wish Mummy never had to go away, Daddy. If you were still married, she’d always be here when I need her, wouldn’t she?’
‘I’m going to phone her and I know she’ll want to be with you as soon as she can. She loves you very much—you know that, don’t you?’
Cameron squatted next to Ian and pulled him into his arms. He whispered something in his ear. Whatever it was, it seemed to have the right effect. Ian smiled and relaxed into his father’s embrace.
‘Could you phone the hospital, Meagan, and the air ambulance?’ Cameron said, lifting his son in his arms. ‘I’ll take him to the hospital in my car. Luckily the hospital is near the airport. We need someone standing by ready to anaethetise. I’ll get them on my mobile.’
‘OK. I’ll be right behind you,’ Meagan said. She touched his shoulder. ‘It’s going to be all right,’ she said gently.
Cameron looked right through her.
‘Jessie, could you keep trying to get hold of Rachel? Tell her I’ll let her know what’s happening as soon as I can.’
Meagan let her hand drop. He was distraught and who could blame him? In the meantime, she had a job to do.
By the time Meagan arrived at the hospital, Ian’s condition had deteriorated.
‘The air ambulance is on its way,’ she told Cameron, ‘but it will be a couple of hours before they get here. Then it will be another while before they get him to hospital.’ She looked at Cameron. ‘I don’t think we should wait.’
‘I don’t know,’ said Cameron.
‘Look, ‘Meagan said, ‘the longer we wait the more likely it is that he’ll have complications. It’s a pretty straightforward op. If we do it now.’
Cameron sighed. He looked shaken. ‘OK. Let’s do it.’ He turned to Meagan and grasped her by the shoulders. She could feel his fingers biting into her through the thin fabric of her blouse.
‘I’ve got to trust you. You can’t let me down. If anything happens to Ian, I…’ He tailed off, unable to complete the sentence.
‘I won’t let anything happen. I promise. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t know I could. Now, you stay with Ian while I get changed and scrub up.’
‘I’m coming in too,’ he said.
‘Do you think that’s wise? You’d be better waiting. I�
��ll let you know when I’m finished.’
Cameron looked at her, his mouth set in a grim line. ‘I am going to be in theatre with my son. Please, don’t argue with me about this.’
‘OK, then. But you have to promise to stay out of the way.’
* * *
In the end the operation was straightforward. While she was operating she could feel Cameron’s eyes on her every move. She knew he was prepared to take over should she show the slightest hesitation or uncertainty. She pushed away the thought that she was operating on the son of the man she loved to the back of her mind. Once she started operating, everything else around her disappeared as she concentrated.
Finally the inflamed appendix was out. Looking at it, Meagan knew they had made the right decision not to delay. Even an hour more and the appendix could have ruptured. As it was, Ian should make a good recovery.
Cameron held Ian’s hand throughout the procedure. Over his mask she could see the relief in his eyes as she began to close.
When she had finished, Ian was wheeled into the recovery area. He was beginning to come round, although Meagan knew it would be a little while before he was fully conscious. Once he had come round he would need a couple of days in hospital.
One of the nurses came through. ‘Dr Stuart, we have your wife on the phone. I’ve brought her up to speed, but she still wants to speak to you.’
Reluctantly Cameron stood up, releasing his son’s hand. ‘Tell her I’ll be there in a minute.’
He turned to Meagan. The lines of worry were still there, but she could see that he knew the worst was over.
‘Thank you,’ he said, his voice gruff with emotion. ‘I should never have doubted you. You did a fine job.’
‘All in a day’s work.’ Meagan smiled at him, although now that the operation was over she felt her knees shake.
Cameron leaned over Ian and kissed him. ‘I’ll be back in a minute,’ he promised the sleeping child. He was back in minutes. Ian was beginning to open his eyes.
‘Daddy?’ he said as he saw his father. ‘Am I fixed?’
‘You are going to be fine,’ Cameron said. ‘A few days in bed and then you’ll be up and about.’
‘Mummy?’ Ian asked, his eyes searching the room.
‘She’s on her way. She’ll be here before you know it. And she won’t leave you again. I promise.’
‘Will you and Dr Galbraith stay with me until Mummy comes?’
Over the top of Ian’s head Cameron looked at Meagan. She didn’t need to see the message there.
‘I’ll stay as long as you and your daddy need me to, Ian,’ Meagan promised. ‘Now, try and get some sleep.
During the next few days Meagan saw little of Cameron. When he wasn’t at work he was spending his spare time with Ian. Meagan knew that Rachel had returned, but didn’t see her either. Jessie had rung her one evening, suggesting they go for a bar supper, and had told her that Rachel was back and also spending time with her son.
‘Ian asks for you all the time,’ Jessie told Meagan. ‘He seems to have taken quite a shine to you.’
Meagan hadn’t seen Ian since he’d been discharged from hospital. It was his mother he needed by his side. Not her.
The day after Ian had left hospital Cameron had come to see her. She had just finished her evening meal, although she hadn’t had much of an appetite, and had been lighting the fire in the sitting room when a knock had come on the door.
When she’d opened it to find Cameron standing there, her heart had thumped. He’d looked divine in a crisp white shirt open at the neck and pale chinos.
‘Hi, there,’ she said softly, not even attempting to hide the pleasure she felt at seeing him.
‘Can I come in?’ he asked.
As she moved aside to let him come in she caught a whiff of his aftershave that sent her pulse racing with the memories of the last time she had been close to him.
‘I can’t stay long,’ he said. ‘They’re expecting me back at the house.’ Meagan felt a stab of disappointment. She couldn’t help it, but she wanted more than a few minutes alone with him. Still, even a short time together was better than nothing.
But as he refused her offer of a seat and coffee, she could see that something was wrong. He looked uncomfortable, almost as if being with her was the last place he wanted to be.
‘Is everything all right?’ she asked.
‘I need to speak to you.’
‘Well, then,’ she said, trying to ignore the tendrils of dread that were beginning to wrap themselves around her heart. ‘Don’t you think you’d better sit down?’
He sat in her chair near the fire, his large frame almost dwarfing the sitting room. He clasped his hands together and rested them on his knees.
‘Rachel and I have decided to marry again,’ he blurted suddenly.
Meagan felt her blood run cold.
‘Oh?’ was all she could manage.
‘She’s been offered a modelling contract in New York. It’s very lucrative and is likely to lead to a higher profile in the modelling world. It’s her big break.’ Cameron’s mouth twisted.
‘She is going to take it, but wants Ian to go too. And me. That is… Oh, hell.’ He pulled a hand through his hair.
It needs a trim, Meagan thought incongruously.
‘She wants us to be a family again.’
‘And what do you want?’ Meagan asked through frozen lips.
‘I want to be with my son. I want my son to have two loving parents who are with him all the time. Apart from that, it doesn’t matter what else I want.’ He stood up and started pacing around the room. It only took a couple of strides before he was forced to turn around and go the other way.
‘And us, Cameron? What about us?’
‘There can be no us,’ he said flatly.
‘I see,’ Meagan said, although she didn’t—not really.
‘For God’s sake, Meagan. I need you to understand. I don’t love Rachel, not the way I—’ He broke off. ‘Not the way she wants. But seeing my son ill, needing his mother and her not being there, was more than I could bear. I don’t think adults have the right to put their own needs above those of their child.’
‘And what about Rachel? Isn’t that what she’s doing?’
‘Rachel will always do what she wants. I know that. But at the moment she holds the cards. If she wants to go, I can’t stop her. And how could I deprive my child of his mother? If he hardly sees her now, he would see even less of her when she is over there. Anyway, it’s not an option. She insists that she is taking Ian and that there is not a court in the world that would stop her.’
‘So you have made up your mind?’
‘Yes,’ he said heavily. ‘We are going to announce it at the ball. I thought it only fair to warn you in advance.’
‘That was thoughtful of you.’ Meagan didn’t even try to keep the sarcasm from her voice. Now she was beginning to feel angry. What a fool she had been to believe that he had feelings for her. Maybe he had until she had told him she couldn’t have children. He probably would have been content to have an affair with her, just as long as it didn’t get in the way of what he wanted. Well, she had stood in the path of a man once. She wasn’t about to do it again.
‘Is that all?’ she said, standing and crossing to the door. All she wanted was for him to leave. She needed time on her own to absorb the news and she was damned if she was going to let him see how much he had hurt her.
‘Meagan, I…’ He stood in front of her and, reaching out, traced her cheekbone with a finger. ‘I never meant to hurt you. God knows, you have been hurt enough.’
Meagan smiled bleakly. ‘Don’t worry, Cameron. I’m a lot tougher than you think. And anyway we both knew it wasn’t serious. People have sex these days all the time without it having to mean anything. So you can relax—I have no intention of trying to stop you. Now, don’t you think you had better be going?’
The day of the ball looked as if it was going to be fine. The last thing Meagan
felt like doing was going. But she had to. Colin and Peggy were returning from Australia today and would be going to the ball. They’d expect to see her there. Everyone would expect to see her there. And, anyway, she thought, squaring her shoulders, she wasn’t going to give Rachel the pleasure of knowing how humiliated she felt.
The last couple of weeks had been awful. Seeing Cameron every day, knowing that soon he’d be married to Rachel once more, knowing that very shortly he’d be out of her life for good, was almost unbearable. Pretending that everything was OK, keeping her manner light in front of the staff, had been more difficult than she had expected. She couldn’t help it, but every time she saw him, even caught a glimpse of him, her heart somersaulted.
As she dipped her spoon into the lightly boiled egg she had made for breakfast, she was suddenly overcome by a wave of nausea. She only just made it to the bathroom on time. She sat on the bathroom floor, waiting for the nausea to settle. I wonder what caused that? she thought. Maybe she would have a genuine reason not for not going to the ball. But after a few minutes she felt fine. She was brushing her teeth when she heard Jessie’s cheery voice call out.
‘Hello, hello. Is there a doctor in the house? A corny line, I know, but I always wanted to say that.’ She took one look at Meagan and then was concerned.
‘Hey, I hope you don’t mind me saying, but you look dreadful.’
‘Thanks,’ Meagan said. ‘Those are the words a woman always wants to hear. Don’t worry, I’m fine now, although I think I may be coming down with something.’
‘Oh, don’t say you’re going to miss the ball. I’m so looking forward to introducing you to everyone.’
Meagan had to laugh at Jessie’s downcast expression.
‘I gather the handsome Simon has arrived, then?’
Jessie blushed, then grinned. ‘Is it that obvious?’ she asked. ‘Oh, Meagan, there’s no point. He’s rich—well, relatively speaking—and titled, and I’m just a cook with a small child to support. It’s pointless even thinking about it.’
