by Anne Fraser
“She came to my office this afternoon.”
Dr Graviss gave Liz an expectant look. “Why would you do that?”
“I told him about the baby.”
Dr Graviss looked intrigued. “Which would explain why I got a call that you two were in here, arguing.”
They both winced. The hospital, the place where they worked, really hadn’t been the best place for their revelations.
“Were we that loud?” Liz asked, hoping they hadn’t been.
“You were.”
“Great.” Adam exhaled, ran his fingers through his already ruffled hair. “Just great.”
“Why don’t you call it a night? Give yourselves some time to let the news sink in. You can talk in the morning.” Dr Graviss exchanged glances with Adam. “Or, better yet, you can discuss this tomorrow afternoon once Liz is at home.”
“I’m being released tomorrow?”
“That’s the plan.”
“Good,” Adam told his friend, ignoring her completely. “I’ll take Liz back to my place for a few days while she recuperates.”
Was he insane? There was no way she was going to his place. Not after all the deceptions that had been between them. She’d never trust him again, would always wonder what else he was hiding from her, would always recall that he’d wanted her to abort their baby. Because of a three to five percent chance.
Didn’t he realize that meant there was a ninety-five to ninety-seven percent chance their baby would be perfect?
“No,” she said firmly. “I’m not going to your place. Or anywhere with you for that matter.”
“You’re going to need someone to help you for a couple of weeks.” Adam crossed his arms.
“Kelly or Mona will stay with me at night. Sara—” her grandfather’s hired nurse “—will stay with me any night they can’t. I’ve already asked her about doing so, although I haven’t given her any dates as I wasn’t sure when I’d be discharged.” She glanced toward Dr Graviss to make sure he was catching this. She wanted to go home. Wished she were home in her own bed right now. That she could tend her grandfather’s roses and talk with him, tell him everything that had happened. How she wished he were here to talk to.
“Honestly, though,” she continued before she became teary, “I’d be fine on my own. Other than a trip to the bathroom, I shouldn’t have any reason to be out of bed during the night and if I needed someone during the day, I have a phone.”
“You need someone with you in case of an emergency. What if your house caught fire and you couldn’t get out?”
“Ever the optimist,” she accused with another strong dose of sarcasm. “But if that happened, you could count it as your lucky day. You wouldn’t have anything to worry about any more, would you?”
His face paled and remorse hit her.
“OK, that’s enough, you two,” Dr Graviss interrupted, looking disgusted at them both. “Adam, it’s time to go.”
He appeared ready to argue, but Dr Graviss stood his ground.
Adam didn’t look at her, just sounded resigned. “Fine, I’ll go, but I’ll be by in the morning to pick you up.”
“I’m not going with you, Adam,” she tossed out as the door closed behind him.
Like she’d go anywhere with someone who’d trusted her so little, who’d deceived her so greatly, who’d thought she’d toss aside their baby.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“YOU’RE manipulating me, Dr Graviss. That has to be unethical,” Liz accused the following morning when Dr Graviss refused to discharge her unless she let Adam drive her home.
“And it wouldn’t be unethical to discharge someone who has no way of getting home?” he asked, arching a brow.
“I have a way to get home,” she insisted.
“Not until Mona and Kelly finish their shifts.”
“Kelly’s already asked the charge nurse if she can take me home during her lunch-break.”
“You know she’s not supposed to leave the hospital while on duty,” Dr Graviss reminded her.
“You’re just doing this because Adam is your friend.”
Dr Graviss shrugged. “You’re my friend, too, Liz. And my patient. I have to do what’s best for you. If you want to go home this morning, Adam is your ride.”
“I’ll call a taxi.”
“I’m not going to release my patient to a taxi driver.”
“You can’t do this,” she accused.
“Actually, I can.”
“Why would you want to? You’re the one who forbade Adam from coming anywhere near me. Why would you try to force us together now?”
“BecauseAdam was in a place where he couldn’t see straight, and every time he was with you he dug a deeper hole, pushed you further away, even though it was the last thing he wanted. He needed some time to come to terms with what was happening to him. You needed time to heal without a stressful confrontation. You’re pregnant and were in a serious car crash. The last thing you needed was a major blow-up between you and Adam.”
“You think that’s not what’s going to happen if he drives me home today?”
“He loves you, Liz.” Dr Graviss gave her a beseeching look. “He’s been going through his own inner hell. Cut him some slack.”
“Loves me? Ha. If so, he has a funny way of showing it.”
“You have to put yourself in his shoes, Liz. In his warped way, Adam thought he was doing what was best for you.”
“You’re just saying that because you’re his friend,” she accused, frustrated by the way she was being pushed into a corner. “Well, he was wrong. All he did was hurt me over and over when he should have been honest with me, told me what was going on so we could face it together.”
“He knows that.” But it wasn’t Dr Graviss who spoke. Adam stood in the doorway, a bouquet of brightly colored flowers in his hands.
“Adam.” Dr Graviss glanced at the flowers and shook his head with a wry grin. “I’m going to check on something in the ER. I’ll be back by later to see what the plan is so I can write discharge orders.” He gave Liz a pointed look. “Or not.”
Liz and Adam watched Dr Graviss leave the room.
“He can’t do that, you know,” Liz said the moment the door closed. “I’m going to complain to the hospital board. He can’t blackmail me into letting you take me home. That just isn’t right.”
Adam’s mouth twisted, but he didn’t comment, just walked on into Liz’s hospital room. He set the flowers down on the tray next to her bed and Liz fought looking at them. She didn’t want his flowers. Not now.
“I’m off work the rest of the week, Liz. Next week, too. You may as well let me bring you home and help you. Considering the circumstances, it’s the least I can do.”
“I don’t want your help. Or your pity.”
“I thought that was my line,” he said softly, startling Liz.
She closed her eyes. She didn’t want to fight with Adam. Well, maybe a small part of her did. After weeks of nothing but his avoidance she had so much pent-up emotions that she wanted to lash out at him. He’d deceived her, not trusted her, wanted her to destroy their baby. Any emotions she vented would be filled with anger, hurt, and hatred.
“You should go.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Not unless you’re with me.”
“This is ridiculous, Adam. You avoid me for weeks and now you plan to camp out on my doorstep? Get a life.”
“That’s what I’m trying to do, but you’re not cooperating.”
Stunned, she glared at him. “This isn’t going to work, you know.”
“What?”
“Whatever this is that you’re doing.”
“I want you back, Liz. I want you to forgive me for not telling you about my MS. I want your love back.”
Liz wanted to scream, to throw something at him. Her gaze fell on her bouquet. No, the flowers wouldn’t make enough impact on his thick skull to be worth throwing them at him.
“You can’t just take back what you’ve done
over the past month, Adam. You can’t change the way you’ve treated me, can’t take back the wall you threw between us. It’s there and it won’t go away.”
“I know I can’t take back the past month, Liz. Maybe I don’t even want to, because the past month has made me realize a lot of things.”
That got her attention. “What kind of things?”
“Things like when I was hurting I should have turned to you instead of turning inside out.”
She didn’t speak. Yes, what he was saying made her heart sing, but words were cheap. Actions spoke much louder and his actions over the past month had screamed that he hadn’t trusted her with his heart, with knowledge of his pain, that he had wanted to abort their baby.
“That what everything boils down to,” he continued. “You’re what matters most to me, Liz. I need you in my life. Otherwise I’m only existing, not living. Not really.”
Words. Just cheap words, she reminded herself, even as she felt her heart melting.
“Let me take you home today.” He moved closer to her bed. “Let me take care of you, Liz. Give me a second chance. If you still feel the same by the time you’re back on your feet, I’ll step away or whatever it is you want from me.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“I told you,” he said solemnly. “Because I want you back.”
“Why? Because of my crash? Because of the baby? Why?”
“Because of you.”
“Me?”
“I love you, Liz.”
How dared he tell her that now? Like this? Especially as he didn’t mean it?
Since they were within reach, she picked up the bouquet and threw them at him as hard as she could. The plastic crinkled loudly as the bouquet smacked into him. “Get out,” she practically screamed. “Get out of here and don’t come back. I’d rather rot in this hospital than to go home with you.”
When the time came for Liz to be discharged, she couldn’t believe Kelly abandoned her to Adam. Her friend hadn’t even looked her in the eyes when she’d come into her room and said she wasn’t going to be able to drive Liz home after all.
There was a conspiracy going on and everyone seemed to be in on it.
Did no one care that she just wanted some peace? To go home and absorb everything that had happened and figure out what she wanted for her future?
Not Adam.
Not after everything that had happened. But, still, there were things she had to figure out. After all, he was the father of her baby.
She slid her hand over her belly. If only Gramps was still alive so she could tell him about the wonderful life growing inside her. Then again, perhaps Gramps would see her baby as a mistake. Just like she’d been her parents’ mistake.
No, Gramps had never seen her as a mistake.
He’d been the only one.
Once upon a time she’d believed Adam saw her as someone special, too, but he definitely saw her as a mistake these days, despite his declaration that morning.
He didn’t love her, was just confused over everything that had happened, including her pregnancy.
Between her car crash and pregnancy, Adam was trapped.
He felt responsible for her, and as she refused to have an abortion he felt responsible for their baby, too. Saying he loved her was Adam’s way of being responsible, trying to take charge of what he considered a bad situation.
She’d like nothing more than to avoid him. Since everyone she called seemed to suddenly be busy, she had no choice but to let Adam drive her if she wanted to go home. She wanted to go home. Desperately.
Kelly helped Liz into a wheelchair, helped position her leg on the leg rest, and gathered Liz’s accumulated belongings.
“You know this is wrong?” she asked Kelly, causing a blush to settle on her friend’s cheeks.
“What?”
Liz rolled her eyes.
Adam took the plastic hospital bag from Kelly, but she shook her head. “You push Liz, and I’ll push the cart with her things.”
Her things included the bouquet of flowers that Liz had wanted to throw away, but Kelly had found a vase for them and salvaged it. Some of the stems were a bit the worse for wear and there were a few missing petals, but overall the bouquet was still beautiful.
Liz averted her gaze. She didn’t want reminders of Adam’s pledge of love. She didn’t believe him. Didn’t even believe that he believed he loved her.
“Make him squirm, but keep an open mind,” Kelly whispered into her ear when they reached the SUV pulled up at the curb.
Liz’s eyes widened. Was that what Kelly thought she was doing? Making Adam squirm? She and her friend were going to have a long talk this evening when she came by.
Once settled into the back seat of the car, Liz leaned her head against the plush seat. She didn’t want Adam to squirm, didn’t want him to feel trapped, didn’t want anything from him.
She honestly wasn’t sure what the answers were. She was pregnant by a man who didn’t love her but felt obligated to do the right thing. How far would he go with that?
She turned her face into the car seat, not liking her fate but knowing she’d survive. A fresh whiff of new-car smell hit her.
“Whose car did you borrow? This looks brand-new.”
He seemed surprised that she’d spoken to him. She hadn’t since she’d attacked him with his flowers. “It is new.”
What he was saying registered.
“You bought a new car?” The entire time she’d known him he’d driven his sporty little two-seater. Why would he buy this roomy, luxurious sports utility vehicle? She wiggled in the seat she sat in and realized the luxurious design hid built-in child seats. Her heart pitter-pattered in her chest. “When?”
“This morning. Your wheelchair wouldn’t fit in my car,” he explained so matter-of-factly she could have screamed.
She’d assumed he’d borrowed the vehicle, as he had the truck they’d hauled her grandfather’s equipment in. How ironic she was using many of the same items she’d given to the assisted living facility?
“You didn’t have to buy a new vehicle. For that matter, you didn’t have to take me home. I had a way until you so gallantly—” she almost choked on her own words “—stepped in.”
“It’s really not a big deal, Liz. I wanted to buy a new vehicle, so I did.”
Money wasn’t the issue for Adam it had always been for her but, still, this was too much. He shouldn’t have bought a new car because of her.
“Besides,” he continued, “your old car was totaled and you’ll need something to drive once you’re able to.”
A fresh wave of anger welled within her.
“Uh-uh. I’m not driving your car.” She shook her finger at him. “You are not going to take over my life, Adam. What happened today was an aberration. I’m not going to be manipulated into doing what you want me to do over and over, got it? Butt out of my life.”
Since Adam wasn’t sure how to respond to her outburst he opted to keep his attention on the road.
He supposed he should be grateful Liz was talking to him at all. She didn’t want to be in his car or anywhere near him.
Surprisingly, her friends had pushed her into coming with him. So had Larry and Dr Bell. He hadn’t asked anyone to force Liz to accept his ride but that’s what they’d all done.
He wasn’t complaining. He’d do whatever it took to get her to spend time with him, to listen to him, to realize he wanted to make up for his mistakes.
For the time being, Adam chose not to tell Liz that she wouldn’t be driving his car, that he’d had the title put in her name that morning. He wanted to take care of her, planned to spend the rest of his life doing just that.
The remainder of the ride to her place was quiet. Never in their relationship had Adam struggled with what to say to Liz, never could he recall feeling awkward with her before her grandfather’s death, but he did now. Horribly awkward.
She sat in the car while he got her bag and flowers. He carried the
items to the house and let himself in with the key she’d given him months ago. Leaving the front door open, he returned to the car and got Liz’s wheelchair out of the back of the SUV. Despite the balmy day, the frame chilled him to the bone.
Would he ever be able to grasp the cold metal of a wheelchair and not wonder if someday he’d be forced to use one?
But he didn’t have time to dwell on what-ifs. Liz sat in the SUV, waiting for him. If she could have managed getting out and into the house by herself, she’d have been long gone. When he opened her car door, she slid her arms around his neck and let him lift her into the waiting wheelchair.
He swallowed at how precious she felt in his arms.
Even with the cast, she was so light he could have carried her into the house. From the stiff way she touched him he knew that the less time they had to touch, the happier she’d be. So he placed her in the wheelchair and pushed her into the house that had been made handicap-accessible years ago for Gramps.
The fact Liz didn’t want to touch him cut deeply, but it wasn’t anything he didn’t deserve. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t attempted to achieve prior to her crash.
“Thank you,” she murmured when he’d settled her on the love seat and propped a couple of pillows beneath her cast to keep it elevated.
“Can I get you something to drink? A snack?”
“I don’t even know if there are any groceries here, but I’m not hungry.” She shook her head, folded her hands in her lap and closed her eyes, as if dismissing him. “You can go now.”
It looked like he’d got what he’d thought he wanted. Liz was apparently finished with him. “I stocked the fridge and cabinets before I picked you up from the hospital.”
Adam had gone grocery shopping? Didn’t his housekeeper normally do that for him? “Flowers, car, and grocery shopping? My, oh, my, you have had a busy morning.”
Adam bit his tongue. It would be so easy to spit out a snappy comeback to Liz’s snide remarks. Too easy. Which was what she was going for.
“More so than you’d ever imagine.”
He’d been doing a lot of thinking about the future and he’d come to a conclusion. He’d given in his medical leave from the hospital. Until his MS improved, until Liz improved, he wouldn’t be returning to his practice.
