“No, don’t think that way. As soon as she found out he was gone, she did it,” Cattie said, shaking her head.
“I’m sorry,” Allie said in consolation nonetheless.
“I am too,” Cattie said, turning to stare straight into Allie’s eyes. “But I’m not sorry that it brought you here. You have been a delight today. I have truly treasured havin’ made your acquaintance, Allison Mastluehr,” Cattie’s smile reflected the deep sincerity of her statement.
“The honor has been mine,” Allie grinned back, briefly compelled by Cattie’s brown eyes.
“Now that … now that your business is done here, I guess you’ll be headin’ on out to San Francisco to start lookin’ for those jobs?” Cattie stammered.
“Yes, I guess so. On the noon train. Hopefully, I can find a newspaper out there that will have me,” Allie sighed, finally looking away and staring at the dark sky instead.
“They’d be crazy not to. Of course, writin’ a book is your real passion, yeah?”
“It is, but it looks like it’s not in the cards,” Allie had solemnity in her voice as she spoke.
“If Honor were here, she would say, “I strongly disagree!” Cattie gritted her teeth. “Look, ya’ll told me those city slicker editors claimed you weren’t writin’ somethin’ grippin’, right?”
“Correct.” Allie replied, wondering what she was driving at.
“What if you give them somethin’ so grippin’ there is no way they could refuse you, probably even be fightin’ over it.”
“Fighting over it. You mean a bidding war?” Allie exclaimed, with a touch of delight imagining such a scenario.
“If that’s what they call it, yes!” Cattie rolled her eyes. “And you can do it, Allie, with what’s right over there!” she said, pointing into the room at the large steamer trunk filled with journals.
Allie frowned, pausing for a while. She stared at the Wilde sister’s journals for a while, wanting to be certain that Cattie had just offered her the exact same thing as she thought it was.
“You mean …?”
It had to be. Cattie had not once been nervous since she had met the younger woman, but she seemed nervous now. She inhaled a long breath before she spoke again.
“Supposin’ … Supposin’ you were to stay on here for a little while,” she continued. “You could have Dutch and Rachel’s room. Don’t worry, we’ve got indoor plumbin’ and these electric lights come from some generator Dutch rigged up down on the river … buried the cable which runs right to the house. Hell! Never mind all that. You stay here and everything in those journals are yours to write about! Of course, there are some parts of them journals you’d have to leave out lest you wanna give them editors a heart attack” Cattie finished with a wink.
Allie was intrigued. “You mean it?” she asked.
“And what’s not in them, most of it, I’d tell you myself,” Cattie added, just to assure her she wasn’t jesting.
“That is such an offer!” Allie said in all sincerity, her eyes already traveling over the old walls of the house.
“If … if you stay … I think … I do believe I could even someday share my father’s life with his wives with you,” Cattie winked. “Perhaps I was wrong to be secretive. Those women gave me the most important people that were ever in my life.”
Allie blinked back a tear. She briefly reached out and tightly held Cattie’s hand. “I can’t believe you would offer me an opportunity like this. The stories of you and your sisters—you are right. They are such tales worth telling.”
“I’m not-I’m not …” Cattie stuttered, but stopped to listen to a sound in the distance before she could finish.
“What is it?” Allie asked her.
“Out here at night sound travels for miles,” Cattie’s lips were curving into a wide smile. “I can hear your Mr. Kincaid and his fancy motorized carriage comin’ from town.”
“Now before he gets here,” Cattie’s smile momentarily dissolved into a serious look. “I’m not askin’ you to give your answer now. Just sleep on it overnight and if you decide to board the train to San Francisco, the offer will stand for whenever you might be ready for it!”
“Indeed, I shall consider it,” Allie said, hugging her. “Thank you so much, Catalina Mercedes Wilde!”
With the wide smile back on her face, Cattie turned to the doorway just as both noticed auto lights coming up the road.
“Should you decide to stay, I think that would make Mr. Connor Kincaid have a little bit of a lighter step to his walk when he’s not drivin’ that mechanical monstrosity, of course!” Cattie said suddenly.
They both burst out laughing just as Connor’s car eventually materialized into view, and he braked in front of the house.
*****
It was late and the only thing Allie longed for was to get to her room, have a relaxing shower and lay her exhausted body on a comfortable bed throughout the rest of the night. However, for the time being, she had a most welcome distraction a heartbeat away from her.
Well, at what point are you going to stop stealing glances at the extraordinarily attractive man beside you, Allie?
She wasn’t exaggerating. Right from the moment she had met Connor on the train, there had been something unavoidably magnetic about him. She felt drawn to him. Every word that left his lips as they traveled to Arizona did not only entertain her, it drew her to him. It made her realize how so many things were missing in her life including romance and the kind of desire that two people felt for each other.
Eventually, her first evening in the hotel had confirmed it. Just a brief intense moment with the man and she couldn’t stop thinking about him. Nor could she stop thinking about all the time she had spent in recent years, pursuing her career and not stopping to tend to matters of the heart. It had taken every ounce of strength inside her not to break down when they had successfully rescued Connor from Barthalomeau and his unscrupulous crooks and he was safe. Even Cattie had noticed Connor mattered to her, even though they had only just recently met.
Now, as Connor escorted her down the hallway to her room, Allie wondered if he was thinking about her too. On the drive to the hotel, he had said only few words before leaving her to her thoughts. He seemed glad, at least, when she told him that Cattie had offered her an opportunity of a lifetime.
“Well, you did say that apart from being a journalist, writing a book was something you had always considered. You should take it,” he had said.
At that moment, she had felt compelled to ask him if he would be happy if she stayed, but she didn’t. She only pursed her lips at him and glanced sideways to stare at the darkened Alamieda countryside.
You should have asked him. That would have saved you all the trouble of doubting if he thinks about you with the same fondness.
Sighing, Allie agreed with the voice in her head with an inward grunt. Now, having retrieved the key from the desk and they were finally in front of her hotel room, he glanced sideways at her to indicate that he couldn’t help with the door without her key. Fidgeting, she quickly searched through her purse where she had dropped it moments earlier and handed it to him. He swung the door open seconds later and he stepped aside to allow her in.
“So, all of us, even a woman of your rare beauty, can become hopelessly lost in thought.”
Allie turned around, noticing that he hadn’t moved an inch from the passageway. She understood that he was taking precautions because of what had happened the last time, but could she blame him? They had both reacted on their feelings with little control. She wondered if he held the same deep embarrassment over the matter that she had and that was why he wasn’t so forthcoming with her anymore.
“I wasn’t thinking,” she argued, noticing how soft her voice had become.
“Yes, you were,” he argued back.
He wasn’t inside the room with her, but it felt as if she could hear his faint breaths and could feel the warmth of his skin. She was only being extremely imaginative. Nothing of sort
was possible. His eyes twitched at her for a while before his thin lips curved to the side, evolving into a beautiful smile.
Heck, he affected her so much and she didn’t even know if it was wise to accept whatever it was that she felt for him.
“You were thinking about staying in Alamieda, weren’t you?”
Afraid of not putting it the right way, Allie felt reluctant to answer the question. Eventually, she took a step towards him and found the words, “I was actually thinking of more than that.”
“If there was anything else for you here apart from the story of the Wildes of the West, perhaps?” Connor chuckled.
She raised an eyebrow, totally surprised by his fifth sense.
“I told you I am an attorney. Figuring things out might be why I chose the profession in the first place,” he explained. “That, and I was kind of following in my father’s footsteps.”
“You were right, actually,” Allie confessed. “At this point, I am not sure what I really want.”
“That’s odd,” Connor considered. “The last time I checked, you were passionately bent on chasing a dream. That included what Miss Catalina Wilde is offering you. What changed?”
Allie stared into his deep blue eyes, wondering if she had understood his questions correctly. It felt as if he was flirting with her again. In his eyes, she could see an unnecessary beam, reflecting how expectant he was.
Expectant of what? What did he want to hear from her?
“Nothing changed,” She admonished, making sure that he noticed how deeply she stared into his eyes, “except the fact that I would like to have more than the story if I do stay.”
“More?”
His voice betrayed his emotions. She was certain now; he had been thinking about her throughout the entire time that she thought about him. His whole face reflected that expectation now. He wanted her to tell him that she would at least consider staying in Alamieda because of him. Well, it would make a whole lot of sense if the words would just leave his lips.
“Perhaps, I could be the more that you would like, Allie,” she heard him suddenly offer in a faint voice thrilling her to her core leaving her wanting to hear more.
“What?” she asked him.
“We met only yesterday, Allie. I know this and I also know for sure that I could never weigh the same as a dream you have chased all your life.”
Even though she knew what he was trying to say, she shook her head and smiled at him.
“I don’t understand, Connor,” she told him, surprised how easily the fib had come.
“Heck, you really want me to say it, don’t you?” he ground his teeth behind his smile.
She crossed her arms now, cocking her head to one side, giving him an expression that said she was indeed waiting to hear his words.
“Arrgh!” he moaned, chuckling at the same time. “Stay.” he implored. “Consider Miss Wilde’s proposal because of me. I want us to know more of each other, Allie Mastluehr.”
The way her last name rolled perfectly on his lips, she felt like reaching for his shoulders and dragging him so near, nothing but a whiff of air was going to be between them. She stepped towards the door, instead, trying so much not to blurt out the truth that she felt inexplicably and uncontrollably drawn towards him.
“I will,” she told him.
“What … uh … You mean you will take the offer?”
She paused briefly and offered him clarification. “No, I will think about it tonight and absolutely make you one of the reasons I might stay. Cattie will have my answer tomorrow, and so will you,” she promised.
“Okay. Uh, good.”
She noticed that he was nervous. At least, that meant that he wasn’t actually good at telling women how he felt. She wasn’t good at that either, but at least, she was a grown woman who always knew what she wanted and went for it. Right now, she wanted to kiss Connor Kincaid, and God help her if she didn’t do it.
His arms opened to receive her as soon as she closed the last space between them with a stride. His palms flew to her small buns at once, cupping each one. Allie folded her hands around his neck, briefly staring into his eyes before allowing him to lift her to her toes so she could kiss him. She saw his eyes fluttering closed just as their lips touched. Allie closed her eyes too, allowing their hands and lips to do most of the work.
His lips were soft and plush. They parted to give her lips room while his front teeth gently nibbled on the lower one, his tongue mingling with hers, sending waves of excitement down her throat. By the time his tongue began to taste the corners of her mouth, Allie felt a tingle in her spine and at the tip of her breasts. His hands gently teased with their continued caress of her ass before moving up to firmly hold her waist. Soon enough, Allie began to breathe through his mouth, unable to control the influx of emotions that welled through her entire body.
He broke the kiss off at the moment that she decided that a single kiss might lead to something much more. Opening her eyes, Allie stepped back and managed to smile up at him as she caught her breath. He was smiling too, while his lips slightly parted to breathe in air. At least, that proved that the kiss had affected him too.
“That was …” Allie gasped for air, searching for the right word.
“I know,” his reply so low it almost went unheard.
They were done for the evening. Allie didn’t have to think twice about knowing that she couldn’t offer him more than a kiss.
“I guess I might see you around,” Connor teased, already moving away from the door. Allie guessed his extra sense was leading him right again.
“You might,” She whispered, also stressing the word might.
“Goodnight, Allie Mastluehr.”
It was the second time tonight that he pronounced her name in full. Allie knew he only did that so she could know she meant something to him. She bid him goodnight, too, and watched as he slowly trundled down the hallway with cheerful whistling coming from his lips.
When he turned into the next passageway, disappearing from her sight, she slowly closed the door and rested her back on it with a long sigh. Connor Kincaid was a good and attractive man. She shouldn’t blame him for how he felt about her nor should she blame herself for having such a great feeling for a stranger. If there was anything she learned from the tales she had listened to since morning, it was that some things just happened unexpectedly and you had to go with them come hell or high water.
Soon she was stripping out of her clothes to prepare for her shower. Allie thought about incidents in her life that had truly occurred without warning and one day of such an occurrence loomed as large as ever. She had a permanent reminder literally seared into her body to never let her forget. Her eyes were immediately drawn towards the reflection in the mirror, as she stepped away from the door, her last clothing dropping to the floor. On her right arm, just below the shoulder to her elbow, there was a mass of scarred flesh, the legacy of a severe burn she had survived.
You survived, Allie, but many died. So many people.
Closing her eyes to shut out the pain, Allie got an image of that day filled with the promise of fun and camaraderie in her head instead. There was laughter, joy, love—and suddenly, screams echoed everywhere while the horrible smell of fear hung in the air along with the smell of burning flesh. The unstoppable fire consumed all in its path, swallowing people and burning their flesh until the cries of burning people were joined by those drowning in the water as life gave away to death…
Yes, you survived, Allie, but you will never forget.
Allie opened her eyes, noticing the tiny tear that rolled down her cheek as she stared at the scars again. She angrily shook her head, realizing how much the memories of the past had kept her away from knowing intimacy. It had been nearly ten years, yet it always felt like the incident was only yesterday. The feeling that it was always made her skeptical, but it was about to change now.
She had met Connor Kincaid. Allie had finally met a man who might be her ticket to overcoming
her fears of affection. She was finally going to be born anew once and for all … that was, if she decided to stay.
Allie knew she already decided as she stepped away from the mirror, crossing into the bathroom to have that soothing shower.
*****
Catalina Wilde lay awake in her bed, the dim light of the room revealing the furrows across her forehead as she thought about the difference between her exciting past and her recent lonely life. She stared out the open windows at the stars, wondering if there were enough of them in the deep black sky to count for all the fun experiences of her youth and the lovers she had enjoyed. Nothing, of course, had lasted forever.
There had come a point her life long ago when she wondered if it wasn’t time to pair up with a man and settle down to raise a family, she used to fantasize about having a daughter and giving her all the care of a mother like she never had. Catalina could still remember her dreams then. She had thought about the smell of her daughter’s hair, her small fingers and the joy of watching her grow to become the most beautiful woman any mother could wish for.
A dream, a fantasy; that was what it ever really was. Cattie regretted that she never gone through with it. Then, she had admitted that she liked men well enough. Their strength was an adrenalin pump and getting intimate with them had always excited her, but it was nothing compared to how she felt with women. The conquest of being able to seduce the gorgeous women of the west, despite that it was against all societal rules and acceptance, superseded being able to tether herself to a man at the time. She loved women. There was something exhilarating about how they looked and smelled, and the gentleness of their touch gave her all the reasons to never end up with a man instead.
“So, you continued with your wild ways and see where you got yourself.”
Cattie sighed. Yes, she had indeed sprouted various relationships with different women in the past, and as expected, it didn’t give her the long-term happiness or, of course, the daughter that she always wanted. Still, there had been one that she had truly desperately loved, but even if she hadn’t been another woman, there were so many other things that had doomed their relationship that heartbreak was the only way it could end. At least, she had always had her family, but even that had not lasted. Lying in bed now, she felt so terrified by the fact that she had only managed to bury her loneliness deep within her, the price of the lifestyle she had led.
The Wildes of the West 1_The Daughters of Half Breed Haven_Old west fiction of action adventure, romance & western family drama Page 25
