"Yes, at the proper time."
He moved away from her and stood looking out the window. "Your pain is too new. I will give you time to regain your footing, Arrian. Then we shall talk more of this."
She moved to the door. "Good night, Ian."
He neither turned around nor acknowledged her departure.
Instead of going to her room, Arrian walked out into the garden, needing a breath of fresh air after her confrontation with Ian. Davinsham was a grand castle. Her grandfather had made money in many endeavors. He, like Warrick, had put money in sheep and cattle. But unlike Warrick, he had dispersed most of his tenants to turn the farms into grazing land.
As she moved down a dark path, Arrian thought of Ironworth Castle, which was not so grand as Davinsham. But the master of Ironworth stood like a sentinel to his people who dwelled in that beautiful and peaceful domain by the sea.
Through the branches of a tall pine tree she could see the twinkling stars. Was Warrick standing beneath the same sky looking at the same stars and thinking of her? she wondered. Did he miss her?
Arrian closed her eyes, picturing Warrick riding Titus across heather-covered hills. She could see him standing with the wind in his dark hair, gazing out to sea.
She felt a deep yearning much like a physical pain. She was not sorry she had met Warrick, for without him she would never have known love. She was only sorry that life had cast them on opposite sides in this blood feud.
Her mind was clear and she knew what she wanted to do. With a heavy heart, she returned to the castle and climbed the stairs. She wanted to go home to England. There was nothing for her in Scotland.
Haddy set a plate of steaming salmon before Lord Warrick, but he pushed it aside and reached for the brandy bottle. "You shouldna' be drinking without eating a bite, m'lord."
"Don't bedevil me, Haddy. I'm a man grown and don't need a nursemaid to suckle me."
"I know what a man needs when he growls at those that would help him."
He glared at her. "Since when did you become an expert on what a man needs?"
She smiled at him, undaunted by his petulance. "Oh, I've had me time. Barra didn't just happen, you know. And don't be forgetting she has four brothers. I had me a good man 'til I lost him to the sea."
Warrick poured a glass of brandy and took a deep drink. "What I need, Haddy, is not to feel anything. I want to drink myself into numbness so I won't dream."
The housekeeper's eyes saddened. "She'll no' be coming back to you, m'lord. She's not for you. You knew that from the start."
"Are you certain, Haddy?" He drained the glass and refilled it. "I'm not so sure."
"When first I knew who the lady was, I had no liking for her. But I soon saw her sweetness and liked her well enough. If the truth be told, m'lord, she's too good for you or Ian Maclvors."
His eyes clouded as he refilled his glass and drank once more. "She made me see that my life was a wilderness, and I was a man without direction. I now know that hate can eat away at a man and make him unworthy to be with others. As you observed, Haddy, I'm not worthy of Lady Arrian."
Haddy motioned for her daughter to come forward. Between the two women they managed to help Warrick stand. He was a big man, and it took all their strength to hold him upright. Slowly they moved him out of the dining room, with Haddy mumbling, "Where's Mactavish when you need him?"
"Where are you taking me?" Warrick protested, as he allowed them to lead him toward the stairs.
Haddy told him in the same scolding voice she'd often used on him when he had been a mischievous lad, "You're not used to drinking, m'lord, and ye're a bit in your cups. We're putting you ta bed, and that's the end of it."
Warrick pushed them away and staggered back to the dining room, picking up his bottle. His steps were uneven as he climbed the stairs, warding off Haddy's efforts to help. "I can make it on my own. Don't coddle me.
Mother and daughter exchanged sad glances.
"He'll no' recover from this, Ma. This time the Maclvors tore the heart right out o' him."
"No, lass, it weren't the Maclvors that done this. This wound was self-inflicted. He did it to himself."
"He shouldna' let Lady Arrian go."
"Aye. But you can't make a woman love you by keeping her prisoner. He woulda' been more unhappy if she'd stayed hating him."
Warrick fell on his bed, the bottle dropping out of his hand. "Damn you, Arrian, your eyes haunt me. I wake up at night calling your name. My salvation lies with you. Without you I'll continue to hate until I'm consumed with bitterness."
22
A week had passed since Gille Maclvors had been laid to rest. By now most of the guests had returned to their own homes, and a gloom hung over Davinsham Castle.
Kassidy and Arrian helped direct the footmen who were loading Aunt Mary's trunks onto a coach.
Lady Mary had her maid and seven outriders in attendance. "I can't get home soon enough to please me." She looked at Kassidy. "You and Arrian should be coming with me."
"We have much to settle before we can leave," Kassidy said, tucking the robe around her aunt. "Besides, we're waiting for Raile and Michael."
"They'll be shocked when they arrive since they believe they are coming for a wedding. But put it out of your mind," Lady Mary advised. She leaned forward and kissed Arrian. "Hurry back to England, dear, I think you know you don't belong here."
"Soon," Arrian said.
Kassidy pressed her cheek against her aunt's. "We wait only for Raile to arrive. Are you certain you don't want to take the yacht with us?"
"Never! I'll not set foot on any kind of boat, not even a small one. I'll return home at my own pace and be glad when I reach London."
Ian stepped forward. "You will certainly be missed, Aunt Mary," he said.
Lady Mary saw no sincerity in his eyes, nor did she expect any. "I doubt I shall ever return to Scotland now that my father is dead."
"I hope you will reconsider," he said, taking Arrian by the hand and holding her possessively at his side. "You will surely return to see Arrian, if not me."
Lady Mary saw that her niece was very uncomfortable. "I'll expect Arrian to make up her own mind as to whether she leaves or remains in Scotland."
The coach started off with a jerk, and Kassidy and Arrian waved until it was out of sight.
"There is always a heavy emptiness when Aunt Mary leaves," Arrian said. "I miss her already."
"She's a power to reckon with," Kassidy said. "She makes her presence known."
"I have always found her to be nosy and an ill-tempered old woman," Ian said.
Arrian pulled away from him and moved to stand by her mother. "Then why did you ask her to return if you feel that way, Ian?"
He looked annoyed at having to explain his actions. "Merely out of politeness."
"When do you think Father will arrive, Mother?"
"Soon, I should think. I look for him any day."
Ian's brows came together in a frown. "I'm certain His Grace will agree with me that the marriage between Arrian and Lord Warrick should be terminated as soon as possible. That's why I've already taken steps to bring this about."
"You had no right to do that," Arrian said. "We can discuss this when my father arrives. Until then, we will not speak of it, Ian."
"Yes, of course. If you ladies will excuse me, I have much that needs my attention. Grandfather was not one to keep good accounts. I'll be going over them for several days. I shall, however, see you at dinner."
Arrian forced a smile before she went into the house. Why was she finding lan's presence so offensive? She was now more certain than ever that even if her marriage was dissolved, she would never marry him.
Arrian and her mother spent the morning riding. When they returned to the stable, Kassidy remained with the groom. One of the horses had developed a limp and she wanted to make certain it was not serious.
It was a glorious day and Arrian was reluctant to go into the house, so she opened the gate and entered
the garden, where flowers and herbs merged together in harmony. The scent was wonderful.
Arrian walked down a path lined by blooming shrubs. She had just bent to smell an early spring rose when she heard someone crying. She listened until she located the sound and then moved slowly around the corner to find Helena huddled under the vine-covered arbor, her face buried in her hands.
Arrian sat down beside Helena and offered her a handkerchief. "May I help?"
Helena shook her head. "No one can help. I am so miserable and lonely."
"I would like to be your friend, Helena. You can trust me to keep your confidence."
Helena dabbed at her eyes. "Is it true that you were forced into marriage with Lord Warrick?"
"Yes, it is true."
"Like you, I had no choice in my marriage, either. Were you aware that I was to have been Lord Warrick's wife?"
"Yes, I did know that. Are you crying because you still love him?"
"I never loved Lord Warrick," Helena said in a shocked voice. "We were hardly acquainted. I believe I was a little frightened of him because he was so dark and scowled at me on our first meeting. I was certain he was not happy about our impending marriage, and neither was I."
"But you agreed to the marriage. Surely you had some feelings for Warrick."
"It was my father who made the arrangements. Although I found Lord Warrick handsome, I found it difficult to look into his eyes because there was no softness there. Don't you think he had unusual eyes?"
Arrian thought of those silver eyes, remembering when she'd seen them soften and even flame with passion. "Yes, he has most unusual eyes."
"Surely you must have been terrified of him, Arrian?"
"At times I was, but I'm free now." Arrian felt such pity for this woman who had been so ill-used by everyone. "Let us talk about you, and the reason you're so unhappy. If you didn't love Lord Warrick, then I suppose you are crying because you were forced to marry my cousin, Jamie?"
"I first met Jamie when he and several others captured my coach. It was frightening when they subdued my two outriders, and abducted me. My maid swooned dead away and my sister, who was my companion on the journey, fought the men to keep them from taking me."
"You were the only one abducted?"
"Oh, yes. Jamie took me upon his horse while I cried out for help. There was no one able to come to my rescue."
"Why did you finally agree to marry him? Surely you didn't love him."
"I didn't love him at first, in fact I didn't even like him. But he's a different person when he's away from Ian. Now I love my husband, even though he seems only to tolerate me."
"You gave Jamie a son. That must count for something."
"He is proud of Patrick. But that does not mean he loves me."
Arrian was pensive. "If you love him, why don't you set out to win his heart? I would think if you have to spend the rest of your life with a man, he should at least admire you."
"I'm not clever or beautiful like you. And I cry easily, which always seems to irritate Jamie."
Arrian noticed Helena's hair was a beautiful brown color, but it was tangled and not well groomed. Helena had not taken care of her complexion and she definitely needed help in choosing her wardrobe. The dress she wore was suitable for a much older woman, and the color was all wrong for her.
"You are very pretty." Arrian looked into soft blue eyes. "All you need is the right gowns and to wear your hair differently, then you would be beautiful."
Helena gripped Arrian's hand. "Do you think so? Could you help me?"
"Yes, I certainly will. The two of us have much in common. It's time we stood our ground and did something about our situations."
Helena looked puzzled. "What will we do?"
"First we will do something about your hair. Also I will want you to go riding with my mother and me every day. It's wonderful exercise and it gets you out into the fresh air. You will soon make it your daily regimen and your complexion will benefit. A man likes to be proud of his wife and her accomplishments."
"I don't like to ride."
"If you want to win that husband of yours, you will have to do many things you don't like. First of all, no matter what Jamie says to you, you will not allow him to see you cry—even if you have to go off by yourself to shed your tears. Next, you will not always be available to him when he wants you. Do you read?"
"No. I hate books."
"I'll pick out several of my favorites for you to read. It never hurts to know more than a man. Jamie has never struck me as a man who went about improving his mind."
Helena giggled and then excitement danced in her eyes. "I'll do whatever you say. I just want Jamie to notice me."
"Oh, he will." Arrian laughed. "When you have two women against one man, he has no chance. Perhaps we'll also enlist my mother's aid."
"Could we? Her Grace is always so lovely."
"Mother will help you all she can."
Helena's eyes brightened with hope. "I'll do whatever you say. I'll even learn to ride and read books if it'll help get Jamie to notice me."
Arrian and Kassidy watched Elspeth deftly loop Helena's dark hair around her head and secure it with three mother-of-pearl combs.
"Now remember, m'lady, you are to cleanse your skin every night. I have mixed the cream that Lady Arrian uses. See how her skin glows?"
Helena stood up and twirled around. Arrian had given her several of her own gowns and Elspeth had let them out at the waist to fit her. Of course until the mourning period had been observed, Helena could wear only black. Arrian had added a lacy white collar to the black gown, which brightened Helena's complexion.
"You look wonderful, Helena," Arrian said. "Jamie will be overwhelmed by you."
"I did what you suggested, Arrian. Last night when Jamie was ready for bed, I told him I was going to remain in the library to read. I didn't go to bed until after midnight."
Arrian smiled. "What was my cousin's reaction to that?"
"He pouted like a little boy. But he was awake when I slipped into bed beside him. He asked me what I had been reading, and I told him the geography of Europe. He asked me questions and I was able to answer them. I think I'm going to enjoy reading immensely."
"I'm delighted."
"In the past, Arrian, Jamie would spend every morning with Ian. But this morning he came to the nursery and played with the baby and stayed to talk with me."
Kassidy studied her daughter. She was glad Arrian had taken on the task of uniting Jamie and Helena. It gave her a diversion and helped her forget, for a while, her own troubled life.
Arrian dreaded the evenings most of all, especially when the whole family gathered for dinner and then afterwards migrated to the sitting room. These were the times that Ian would seek her out, and tonight was no different. He sat beside her and slid his arm possessively around her shoulders.
"How did you spend your day, Arrian?"
"My mother and I rode with Helena this morning. Then this afternoon we took a long walk about the grounds."
"We shall have to arrange a ball for you so I can show you off to all the neighbors. How would you like to have a masquerade ball?"
The thought of being paraded before Ian's neighbors was not to her liking. "I don't believe it would be proper to have any festivities since Grandfather has so recently died."
"No, I suppose not." He was silent for a moment. "How else can we entertain you?"
"I need no entertaining, Ian. I only wait for my father's arrival so that I can return to England."
"I don't want you to leave." He took her hand and held it tightly. "You are committed to me and I shan't so easily let you out of that commitment, Arrian." He raised her hand to his lips. "You will always belong to me, no matter what."
"Let go, Ian," she said, trying to break free of his grasp.
He dropped her hand. "I demand to know how you feel about me. I have been patient long enough, Arrian. You owe me that much."
"Yes, I do, Ian. I know I'm
not being fair to you, but I don't know what my feelings are."
"You knew well enough how you felt about me last summer."
"I thought I did. Now I'm not so sure you and I are suited to each other. I believe you would do far better marrying a woman who shared your interests."
"You're what I want."
"Ian, give me time. As soon as I know my feelings I'll tell you."
His eyes were searching, his voice laced with the merest threat. "Don't make me wait too long, Arrian. I want a family and I want you."
Helena slid in between Arrian and Ian, for which Arrian was grateful. "I have the most wonderful news. Jamie has suggested that we go to Edinburgh for a week. Can you imagine that—just the two of us!"
Ian scowled at his brother's wife. "You have him mooning after you like a lap dog, Helena. Next you'll be asking him to take up needlework."
Arrian patted Helena's hand and leaned over to whisper in her ear, "If Ian has noticed Jamie's actions, then you are indeed making progress."
"Arrian, will you walk with me in the garden?" Helena asked, drawing Ian's further displeasure. "There is something I would like to discuss with you."
Arrian was only too glad to leave the sitting room. She ignored Ian's look of disapproval. "Of course. Will you excuse us, Ian?" She gave him no chance to reply.
They stepped into the garden, where only a pale moon lit the path. "I feared you would be gone when I returned from Edinburgh," Helena said. "And there is something you need to know."
Arrian stared at the woman, who was five years older than she. "I will miss you. I feel that we have become friends. I also believe Jamie will make you a good husband, in time."
"I have come to believe this also. But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. First I must know how you feel about Ian."
Arrian didn't want to answer. "I'm not certain. So much has happened to confuse me."
"I've been watching you for some time, and I don't mean to pry, but I believe you love Lord Warrick."
Arrian was shocked that Helena could have read her so well. "Why would you say that?"
Highland Love Song (DeWinter's Song 2) Page 20
