by Gina Shafer
“I didn’t let it slip, John, you overheard Ted and me talking about it. A conversation you weren’t welcome to listen to in the first place.” Marcel’s booming voice speaks across the distance and his gaze pierces John in one place.
“It doesn’t really matter how I heard it. None of you are denying it. We just burned Peter’s body, our friend, our brother. We can’t take any chances now.” He spins in a small circle while talking, arms wide open, imploring everyone else to listen.
I see a tiny girl push through the crowd to look up at me. The man she’s standing next to, I assume is her father because she reaches up to grasp his hand. Sicarri encircle me. Men, women, children. Families.
And I still haven’t spoken.
“How do we even know they’re a danger to us, John?” Xo asks. Xo doesn’t look as convinced as the others clearly are that Soren and I could break out into some kind of demon transformation at any minute. Honestly, I don’t feel any different. I certainly don’t feel evil. I don’t feel lust for the fire, and I damn sure don’t feel like stealing the fire from the angry Sicarri mob staring us down.
Fuck this. I have to know what this means. I finally open my mouth to speak.
“Lincoln!” I shout, causing everyone in the room to go quiet. After a few moments I hear footsteps from the back of the room, and Lincoln appears in front of me. The way he moves, so snakelike, makes me want to shout, “See, everyone, this is what a true demon looks like!” I never thought I could look into the face of my friend and feel such disgust spew from my insides.
“What can I do for you now, Elijah?” He saunters closer to me and I fight the urge to step back, to put as much space between this inhuman thing and myself as physically possible.
“Tell me what it means,” I implore. “Tell me what will really happen to us. And no more vague answers.” My fingers flex with the tension running through my body.
“Nothing will happen to either of you, just like I told you earlier,” he states plainly. I feel my entire body relax as I look to Soren. I can tell he was just as tense as I was, I should have realized he would be just as worried about this.
“Unless…” Lincoln adds with an evil smirk on his face. The blood drains from my face.
“Unless what, Lincoln? Out with it,” Marcel says, knocking shoulders with Kit on the way to stand by my side.
“Well, unless you want it to.” Lincoln laughs one sharp, hard laugh and then continues. “Don’t you know by now? You’re royalty. Choose to take your place with Abe and you’ll be welcomed with open arms, the both of you. You see… Vara was Abe’s daughter. Which makes you, Elijah, his son by marriage. And you, Soren, his grandson.” He reveals his secret with pleasure and disappears quicker than he appeared, sliding back through the crowd.
I feel nothing but disgust at the thought of joining demons, in this life or the next. Even though I would never admit it out loud, I am thankful for the sickening feeling Lincoln’s offer gives me, because it distracts me from the utter revulsion at Vara’s family tree. A demon princess… that’s what I was married to, what I slept next to every night.
Shouts break out through the group standing around me, but I hear nothing. Complete and utter silence surrounds me as I stare at my son, whose eyes are trained to the floor. The urge a parent has to protect their children, no matter how old they are, washes over me. I have to get Soren out of here. I have to protect him from all this, from these people who were once his family now twisted and turned with hate for the enemy.
“Pack your stuff, Soren,” I say. His head pops up, his eyes searching my face. “We’re leaving.” I look around the room. “Anyone that wants to help us take down the bastards that know nothing but blood, death, thievery, and darkness is welcome to come along. We are going to give them the one thing they yearn for. We are going to give them fire. We are going to watch them burn. We cant do much about the upper-levels, but if the shadow-walkers think they can attack us, kill our own, make us run in fear… they have another thing coming,” I finish and walk straight toward my room.
The first thing I do is reach for the dagger Vara left me, but my hand freezes in mid-air, stunned by my actions. I hadn’t realized before this moment that this weapon could be more than just a blade left to me by my dead wife. I’ve been carrying around a dagger left to me by a demon, and the first thing I should have done was throw it into a fire. I ponder this for a moment. Why haven’t I gotten rid of this dagger? I imagine she must have been aware that I was never dead, that I may be coming back one day. I feel absolute betrayal wash over my skin, and it clings to me like sweat on a hot day. Every memory I’ve had with Vara flashes before my eyes, and I flinch like I was just struck in the chest. How could this be true? How could she do this?
And then it’s as if I’m struck with a lightning bolt. I feel the sting of truth course through me like electricity surges through wiring.
It was all a lie. She used us. And what was it she had to do when she left Soren? Why did she tell him she couldn’t be selfish? I almost laugh at the thought of Vara being unselfish. According to me now, that’s all she ever was. More and more of her lies keep coming into the light. It’s almost like she planned it all…
I’m overcome with sadness and anger twisting together, forming a maelstrom of emotion swirling through my body. It surges at my fingertips where the dagger is resting in my open palm. I decide to discard the dagger and never think of it again. Vara can go to hell, and with a little luck, she’s already there. I drop the dagger onto my pillow and become a blur of movement around the room, packing the few things I’ve acquired since waking from my long sleep. I shove in a change of clothes, magazines full of bullets, and another pistol in addition to the one I’m wearing on my side. I’m taking basically everything this room was stocked with when I arrived. I even throw in the tigers eye, though Lincoln told us its basically useless. I’m tossing in a set of radios when I hear another knock on the door. Damn it, if this is more bad news…
I swing open the door and see Karina standing to the left of a man with deep green eyes and dark hair, whom I’ve never seen before. A step slightly behind him is a tall blonde woman with a small upturned nose, whom I also have never met, but that doesn’t surprise me. I’ve been here 48 hours, and most of that time I’ve spent fighting demons and sleeping.
“Elijah, this is Micha and his wife, Scarlett.” Karina motions her hand up and down, pointing to the two standing next to her. “They want to join us,” she adds, pushing past me to enter my room. She eyes the dagger on my pillow and spins around to face me.
“Join us?” I ask her, a smile tilted on my face. She’s already pinned us as a team in her head, and I would be lying if that didn’t bring me even the smallest bit of pleasure. Karina’s eyes quickly move over my face, her lips in a tight line before she sighs and nods.
“Aren’t you gonna invite them in?” she asks me, and I’m reminded that Micha and Scarlett are still standing in the open doorway.
“Actually…” I say, clearing my throat and turning to them. “I’m heading out, if you’re all ready to go? I need to find Soren.” I wipe my hands down the front of my jeans and reach for the backpack I dropped before answering the door.
“We can talk more once we’re out of here. You’ll understand that I don’t want to stay any longer than we have to?” I ask, turning back to Micha and Scarlett.
“Sure. Just know that we are with you on this one…” Micha says, and he grabs Scarlett’s hand and pulls her out of the doorway. I nod, appreciating his words.
“We’ll meet you in ten minutes, out front.” He closes the door and I hear their footsteps growing farther away. Hmm, he’s no bullshit. I think I’m going to like this guy.
“I’ll be out front in ten also, so don’t leave without me. You’re going to need my intel if you ever want to get to the upper-levels without Sicarri backup.” She’s standing across from me with her hands on her hips, ready for a challenge. I wouldn’t challenge her, but that do
esn’t mean that I want her to know that. She’s gorgeous, standing directly in front of the glowing light of the lamp in the corner of the room.
“How did you know I’d be going after the upper-levels too?” I ask her while I drop the backpack to the floor. Am I that transparent?
“It’s what I would do,” she answers simply, shrugging her shoulders.
“Come here,” I whisper, and I’m surprised when she doesn’t hesitate. I’m even more surprised that I asked her to. She glides across the room to stand in front of me, her head tilted back so her deep blue eyes align with mine. We stare at each other for a moment, the silence hanging between us. I can tell that I’m not the only one who has no idea what to say.
I’ve kept my distance from women during my marriage—I never wanted Vara to feel threatened by anyone else. Now that I know Vara was lying, that she was a demon the entire time, I have nothing holding me back. My fingers ache to reach out and touch Karina, to feel if her golden skin is as velvet as it looks.
“I’m sorry about what happened out there. What they said, it’s…” I feel her warm breath against my face. I shake my head as my body moves closer to her, of its own accord. I reach out and slowly glide my fingers over her hips, pulling her body flush against mine. Her eyes widen and immediately I crave more. My gaze quickly darts down to her lips, but as soon as they leave the cool blue ocean in her eyes, I miss them and look back up.
My mind goes blank when I realize what I’m about to do. I want to drown myself in the woman in front of me and never come up for air. I want to feel something real, something I know isn’t a lie.
When my gaze returns to her mouth, I see that Karina is staring at my lips too. My heart starts to beat quicker and I can feel it thundering from deep within my chest like it’s trying to escape from the flesh surrounding it. I glide my tongue across my lips, and when I hear Karina sigh, I lose the last bit of control I was so desperately clinging to. I tilt my head to the side and bend down to slide my lips across hers, relishing the warm soft skin I’m met with. She reaches up to wrap her hands around my shirt and pull me even closer, and my skin ignites when her tongue darts out into my open mouth. We are crazed for each other, and I feel lightness in my head that makes it hard to breathe. She tastes so good, too good. I bend down and wrap my fingers around her thighs, lifting her against me, and we slam into the wall behind her, our teeth clashing lightly against each other’s. Her legs wrap around me like a snare I am all too willing to be trapped in, and when her core brushes against the thick bulge in my pants, a deep moan escapes her lips. My head is swimming, and all I can think about is the way she feels against me, the taste of her tongue as it swirls around mine. I want to feel more of her, get inside of her so deeply that she doesn’t know where I end and she begins. But then she slowly wraps her arms around my shoulder and I feel the searing pain of the burn there. I am jolted back into the image from my dream, where Vara’s hand was pressing down in the same spot, and I freeze. Karina must sense the change in me because she drops her hands to her sides like I’ve burned her, and I step back to free her from where she’s still pressed against my body and the wall. She tucks her head and slides around me, making her way toward the door.
“Karina, wait,” I say. “I’m sorry… I…” I stutter. I’m not sure what I should say.
“Don’t, Elijah,” she starts, interrupting my thoughts. “This never happened.” She opens the door just enough for her body to slide through and leaves me alone with the silence of the room surrounding me.
This whole thing was incredibly stupid of me. I’m still angry at Vara for what she did, and I realize part of me is searching for a way to punish her. I feel the cold air on my damp lips; I can still taste Karina there, and now that I’ve had a small piece of her, I know I’m always going to want more.
I’m an asshole for using Karina in my push for revenge against Vara, and I’m an asshole for wishing I hadn’t stopped us in the first place. I should chase her, explain myself, but she deserves better than my twisted and confused thoughts messing with her brain. Why do things have to be so complicated?
My eyes drift to the dagger still lying on my pillow, a symbol of my demon wife staring at me dead in the eyes. Fuck. For a moment, guilt begins to niggle its way into my mind.
No.
No, fuck you for betraying me, Vara. Fuck you for betraying our family.
In the back of my mind, I know that Vara shouldn’t have a hold on me anymore, that my anger toward her will eat me alive. Then I realize that for the moment I was kissing Karina, I wasn’t angry. The weight of the past wasn’t hanging on my shoulders; I was able to drop it, if only for a moment.
I make my way to the door and pause at the threshold before glancing back at the dagger and feeling that same weight, heavier than ever.
“Damn it,” I whisper as I turn on my heel and swipe the dagger, placing it into the sheath on the other side of my gun. Only until I figure out where it came from, and why she left it… then I’ll get rid of it, I tell myself.
As I walk toward the exit of the warehouse, I can still smell Karina on my skin. Her already familiar scent of fresh mint clings to me, and a part of me hopes it never leaves.
It took us over two hours to get the hot water heater up and running again, thanks to the old generator out back. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t weird standing here with the water running down my back in my old house. But here I am, along with Soren and Willow, Marcel, Xo, Ted, Micha, Scarlett, and Karina.
Karina… It’s even stranger having her here, in this house I once shared with my demon wife. I heard Shae trying to convince her to stay behind before we left, and I’m ashamed at the amount of relief I felt when I saw her climbing into the back of Ted’s SUV. Though even through my relief, things between her and me have been strained. We can hardly keep eye contact, and when one of us catches the other staring, it usually means that one of us leaves the room. And when I say one of us… I mean me. I’m the one running… the one hiding.
I wanted Lu to come along, knowing that her skills would add to an already powerful team, but when I locked eyes with her at the warehouse, sorrow was so clearly covering her face. Losing Peter was too much for her to deal with on top of everything else. I wouldn’t dare tempt anyone back into the fight when they’re that raw.
We’ve been back at the house for three days, and I can tell the group is becoming restless. I promised them fire and vengeance, but all we’ve done so far is sit around talking about the past twenty years that I’ve missed out on.
I lift my hand to my shoulder and watch the water droplets fall from my fingertips. My burn has started to heal. The skin—pink and shiny—still stings a bit, but I’m able to run my fingers over it now without doubling over in pain. I catch my reflection in the mirror through the shower door and move my fingers to feel my cheeks. Strange, how I can feel the age on the inside, but my body doesn’t show it on the outside. My mind is tired, like I lived through every minute of those twenty years in slow motion.
I still don’t understand why I didn’t age while the demons kept me captive. Part of me wishes that Lincoln had come with us, only because of the knowledge I know he’s withholding.
I rinse my body once more before stepping out and wrapping into a towel. No doubt the others are waiting for their turn to wash. Soren was first, taking the downstairs shower, while Marcel quickly washed in the master bath. Micha and Scarlett went next, together, and then it was my turn. Though now the water isn’t nearly as hot as it was when I first got in.
I know I spent too long in there, but as soon as the water hit my back, my mind went blank. I stood and stared at the tile floor, the tiles I lay with my bare hands, and remembered the ache in my back when I stood after spending all day in this room on my knees.
I also had to spend a little extra time under the water when I remembered that kiss with Karina. Now I stand, staring at my feet, drowning myself in the guilt of thinking of Karina while I’m standing here naked, i
n the shower I used with my wife—my liar wife. My demon wife. Suffice it to say, it has been an interesting shower. A lot of back and forth.
I brush my fingers through my wet hair and head back out into the bedroom. Xo and Marcel went and picked up some furniture to put around the house since it was mostly empty, so at least we all have beds now. Though I haven’t been getting much sleep, the nightmares keep any chance for rest at bay.
“Elijah, are you done in here? I need to grab a shower before dinner.,” Karina calls from the other side of the door. I try not to jump at the sound of her voice. This is the first time she’s really addressed me since we’ve been back at the house.
“Elijah…?” Karina says once more, and I realize I haven’t answered her. I’m just standing here in this towel, staring at the door like an idiot. Before I get the chance to open my mouth, Karina is slowly pushing the door open.
Her eyes widen when she takes me in.
“Oh! I’m sorry, you didn’t answer so I thought you must not have been in here,” She says, turning and reaching for the door knob, trying to pull the door shut again.
“It’s okay Karina. Can we talk?” That came out much more smooth that I had expected.
“Um, sure,” She answers, gliding across the room to perch herself on the side corner of my bed. She hasn’t looked at me directly again, so I figure my near nakedness makes her uncomfortable.
I throw on a pair of grey sweat pants from the pile of clothes in the small dresser in the corner of the room. Yet another thing to thank Marcel and Xo for; they brought me some extra clothes they had lying around, knowing I basically had nothing. I am right in the middle of slipping a white T-shirt over my head when I hear Karina’s soft hum leave her throat.
