His gaze narrowed slightly as he slowly traced his finger down the side of my neck. “Why?”
Everything inside me warmed and jumped to life when he touched my skin. I closed my eyes as goose bumps scattered across my body, electrifying every nerve ending. “Because we all have secrets,” I admitted before locking gazes once more. “Our friendship is all that matters to me.”
Interest reflected in his steady stare. His finger had stopped on the pulse beating along my throat. “If I asked you your secret, would you tell me?”
My heart rate jumped and I looked away. I didn’t want to lose Ethan. The agony I’d feel if he walked away from our friendship told me just how much I’d fallen for him—a boy I didn’t know.
Our librarian, Mrs. Honeycutt, walked past, her Q-tip French twist whipping around in a double-take. She waved a finger at us, disapproval reflecting behind the half-moon glasses perched on her nose. Ethan stepped away and the connection between us, the magnetic attraction that had drawn us closer, faded.
Shoving the graphic novel back on the bookshelf, I cleared my throat. “So, wars…”
Ethan searched my face for a moment, then nodded toward the windows at the back of the library. “Right. I think the history books are over there.”
That afternoon, as I was walking out to my car, a sandy-haired guy who’d been walking straight ahead of me, began to drift to the right. I eyed him like a car that’s starting to drift into my lane and immediately sped up.
Just as I was about to pass him, he stumbled and rammed into me.
“Ow!” I grabbed my shoulder. “Are you whacked?”
“Sorry.” Rubbing his forehead, he blinked as if trying to focus. “I have vertigo. When it hits, it makes me so dizzy, I can barely walk.”
And I’ll be driving on the same road with this guy? “You’re uh, not driving, are you?”
“Nah, I’ve been banned until it clears up. Hitching a ride with my neighbor—”
“In this lifetime, Alan,” a guy impatiently called from across the lot.
“I’m coming,” he waved to his neighbor, then slowly turned back to me with a rueful grimace. “Can’t jerk my head around too fast or I’ll pass out. Anyway, sorry again.”
“No worries.”
As I watched him stagger toward his friend’s car, my gaze snagged on Sophia talking to Jared by his Jeep. I started toward my car and tried not to look obvious that I was watching them through my shades, but seeing Sophia giggling while digging her hand into Jared’s front pocket made me halt in disbelief.
Jared was talking and kind of laughing, so I couldn’t tell if he was enjoying her flirting or if he was nervous and uncomfortable and trying to laugh it off. A car beeped behind me, and I quickly moved out of the way, continuing on to my car.
I’d just unlocked my door when I looked up to see Sophia staring at me from across the lot. Jared was nowhere in sight. I lowered my glasses and stared hard to let her know I’d seen her with Jared. Her eyes narrowed for a brief second, then her lips curved in a mocking, victorious smile before she got in her car and drove off.
I tried to call Lainey, but got her voicemail, so I sent her a text.
Call me. I need to talk to you.
I didn’t hear back from her until a couple hours later, when I was on my way to our game. Grabbing my cell from my bag, I said, “Hey, are you at the field yet?”
A radio blared in the background. “I’m getting ready to turn into the parking lot. What’s up?”
I pushed the cell phone closer to my ear. “I just wanted to warn you to keep an eye out for Sophia.”
“Sophia? Why?”
I swallowed, not wanting to hurt my friend. She was the happiest I’d seen her. Ever since I’d known Lainey she was a pretty upbeat person, but now she just seemed to glow whenever she was around Jared. She’d spent less time spreading gossip and more time just hanging with him.
“I saw her talking to Jared in the parking lot. Let’s just say it looked pretty friendly between them.” I really didn’t want to tell Lainey that Sophia had her hand in Jared’s pants’ pocket. That would not go over well…and I wasn’t exactly positive he hadn’t done something goofy like steal her car keys and shove them in his pants, saying, “If you want your keys, you’ll have to get them yourself.” Guys did crude stuff all the time for attention. But I couldn’t quit thinking about the way Sophia stared at me in the parking lot earlier; her smile pretty much said, “I dare you to tell”.
Lainey didn’t say anything for a second, then she snapped, “I didn’t want to believe she was right. Sophia told me you’d try to do something like this.”
I pulled in a parking spot, then slammed on my breaks harder than I’d meant to. “Try to do something like what?”
“She warned me that you’d try to break Jared and me up. Actually, her exact words were, ‘You should’ve seen Nara’s face when I told her about you and Jared. Mark my words, she’ll try to break you two up so she can have him.’ And then, today, she called and told me you seemed to have it in for Jared.” A sniff came across the line. “I was your friend, Nara. I supported you over the whole goalie thing. I even tried to look out for you with that Ethan guy, and this is the thanks I get? Why would you try to make my boyfriend out to be a cheating jerk?”
I couldn’t believe she thought I’d try to break them up. I opened my mouth to tell her exactly what went on between Sophia and Jared, but she probably wouldn’t believe me now anyway. Plus, I just felt she should believe her best friend over a teammate. I was right. Lainey had moved so far away from our friendship, she’d allowed Sophia to stir her into her cauldron of lies. I tried to keep my voice calm. “Do you really believe that?”
Lainey’s voice hardened. “Now, I do.”
How had Sophia manipulated Lainey so easily? It made me wonder if our friendship had ever been real. “When have I ever lied to you?” When she didn’t answer right away, I continued, “If you choose to believe Sophia over me, then that’s your issue.” After I hung up, I was so angry and resentful, I stayed in my car until my hands stopped shaking.
That night, despite my argument with Lainey, I’d played well and only let one ball get past. We won our game against Southern, and hallelujah, I’d done it all on my own (well, with Ethan’s practice help and encouragement).
During the game, Sophia and Miranda did their standard “whisper, then glance my way” snicker sessions whenever they got near each other. Lainey didn’t speak to me before or after the game. She alternated between slumping her shoulders and holding her chin high. I couldn’t tell if she was mad at me or just hurt. I didn’t know what to do, but as long as she continued to believe Sophia, she wasn’t going to listen to me anyway.
Several girls invited me to a party on Friday night to celebrate, but I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm over the win or the realization that I seemed to have moved off the “Do Not Invite” list. My mom hadn’t been there, and not that Ethan had to come, but after helping me practice this week, the close call last night, and then the “moment” we’d had in the library, I’d secretly hoped he would be in the crowd, cheering me on. Then again, I hadn’t answered his question, which probably made him feel like I didn’t trust him, even though I did. In so many ways. Just not with this one secret.
As I drove home, my cell phone pinged, letting me know I had a message. Once I’d put all my dirty soccer clothes into the laundry and started the machine, I grabbed my cell and opened the message, expecting a text from my mom.
The text was nothing but garbled letters and numbers. I closed the message and reopened it and my heart nearly stopped.
Please respond to this text, Nari. We need to talk.
I couldn’t turn my phone off fast enough. My legs began to wobble and I slowly sank to the hall floor. Leaning against the washing machine in my sports bra and underwear, I couldn’t believe it.
Only one person called me Nari.
Why was my dad texting me?
Chapter Nine
I sat along the edge of the stacked bleachers in the gym, listening to the principal drone on. No amount of perfume or cologne coating the press of people sitting around me could cover the strong wax floor and decades old sweat scents that permeated the room. I didn’t have a clue what Mr. Wallum was talking about. I’d totally zoned out from the boring words. Then again, I’d spent most of the day in a haze.
Many parts of my life—from losing my dreams and Lainey’s friendship, to being attacked in the woods and now my dad texting me—were being tossed and jerked around, just like my dirty clothes in the washer last night. And just like my freshly laundered clothes I’d pulled out of the dryer, I wanted my life to go back to being neat and squeaky clean. Instead, it seemed to be headed in the “wrinkled with set-in stains” direction.
Pretending to be engrossed in the principal’s less-than-fascinating speech was easier than thinking too much about Lainey not speaking to me, Ethan ditching my game, or the reason behind that stupid text message. It’s not like I hadn’t already considered other possibilities for the text I received last night, like maybe it was someone’s idea of a sick joke.
Lainey was the only person who knew my dad left us. Everyone else just assumed my parents were divorced and I never corrected the assumption. But no matter how upset Lainey was with me, I just couldn’t see her doing something so cruel. Sophia or Miranda? Probably. But Lainey would have to have told them the truth about my dad for them to know how much it’d upset me to receive any kind of message from him.
“Bored out of your mind yet?” Ethan said from his standing position next to the bleachers.
I slid over to give him room, and as he vaulted up to settle beside me, I kept my gaze on the podium in the center of the gym. “Actually, it’s pretty interesting.”
“Really? What’s he talking about?”
I glanced his way and stared blankly.
Ethan’s brows shifted downward. “What’s going on? You barely said two words in the hall.”
I picked at the splintering step underneath me. “Nothing. We won last night,” I said with as much pep as a limp noodle.
The crowd suddenly cheered and clapped as the cheerleaders walked out onto the floor. Oh yeah, I remembered now. This was a pep rally for the football game.
“I knew you could do it,” Ethan spoke in my ear over the noise. “Congrats again.”
I glommed onto his comment, sitting straighter. “Again?”
“Yeah.” He nodded to the pocket where I usually kept my cell. “I left you a message last night. You got it, right?”
“Um, no. I didn’t get it.” He must’ve called after I’d turned off my phone. I hadn’t turned it back on yet, because I didn’t want my dad to try to text me again. My face burned as I pulled out my cell.
“You’re just now turning your cell on?”
“Yeah, it’s a shocker isn’t—” I paused when my dad’s text message from last night popped up. I’d shut off my phone without closing out of the text window.
Ethan didn’t say anything as I continued to stare. Finally, I turned the phone his way so he could read it and spoke in a low voice, “My dad sent this message from the grave last night.”
He scanned it and his brow furrowed in confusion. “If your dad’s dead, how can he send you a text?”
“He’s not dead.” I deleted the message, punching the buttons hard. “But as far as I’m concerned, he is. He walked out on us when I was five. I have no idea if that text message was real or if someone’s screwing with me.”
Propping his forearm across his knees, he eyed me. “Aren’t you curious why he tried to contact you?”
I pressed my lips together and shook my head. Holding up my finger, I clicked the button to listen to Ethan’s voice message and pushed my cell close to drown out the droning microphone in the background. I needed something good to scrub the raging resentment for my father from my brain.
As soon as I closed my phone, Ethan looked apologetic. “I’m sorry I missed your game last night. Something came up or I would’ve been there to see you rule that goal.”
Whenever we talked, he made me feel so good. “Thanks. That means a lot. And now I have your number,” I finished with a small smile.
Ethan’s attention strayed back to my phone. “Why do you think someone would try to screw with you?”
I slid my gaze to Lainey, Miranda and Sophia chatting with a couple of the football players at the top of the bleachers. “I tried to tell Lainey about something I saw between Jared and Sophia in the parking lot yesterday. Now she thinks I only wanted to make her boyfriend look like a jerk so she’d dump him and then I could have him for myself.” I shrugged. “Maybe that text message was some kind of payback.”
Ethan stilled. “Do you? Like him?”
“Of course not,” I said with a “duh” look, even as I thought, He’s not you.
He glanced toward the top of the bleachers. “The guy is a jerk.”
Nodding, I sighed. “Lainey’s not talking to me. Right now she’s eating up every lie Sophia feeds her. It’s like Sophia’s her own personal ‘happy pill’ dispenser.”
Amusement sparked briefly in his blue eyes, then he nodded toward my phone. “What if the text is real?”
Music started blaring from the speakers and the cheerleaders began to gyrate on the floor.
“Not interested.” I said a little louder over the din. “When my dad left us, it took my mom a long time to snap out of it. I won’t go there again.” I thought about my mom’s reaction in my dream and honestly wondered if she could handle another round of rejection—a reminder he didn’t want us.
The cheerleaders had started to build a pyramid.
I didn’t think that discussing something so difficult for me would provide a rare opportunity with Ethan, but I realized now was the perfect time for me to ask about him. “Why are you living with your brother? Don’t your parents miss you?”
“No. They don’t.”
Ethan stared straight ahead, but his hand clenched into a fist on top of his knee. “Do you miss them?” I asked tentatively.
His eyes flicked to me briefly. “I miss the way they used to be. I hate that they never trusted or believed me…and that they still don’t.”
Anger and resentment radiated from his thinned lips and narrowed gaze. He literally vibrated, holding his body perched on the bleacher’s edge as if he were going to vault off any moment.
I scooted closer until our thighs almost touched. He needed someone who understood. I wanted to touch him, but was afraid he’d pull away. My stomach tensed as I lightly put my hand over his fist. “I’m sorry, Ethan. Parents can be so clueless sometimes.” Why had my mom never noticed that I just seemed to “know” things? I was different than other kids—too calm, too understanding—yet she’d never said a word.
When Ethan inhaled deeply and his fist tightened under mine, I realized this was the first time I’d reached out to him. Worried I’d crossed some kind of line, I started to lift my hand, but he quickly slipped his fingers between mine, locking our hands together. “Not yet, Nara,” he said in a harsh rasp.
Breathless, I glanced up. The look in his eyes, a mixture of angst, fierce need and hope, made my heart rate surge, battering my chest with hundreds of fist punches. I curled my fingers around his and we sat there in the stinky gym, completely oblivious to all the cheering and hollering around us.
Coach had cancelled practice, so Ethan walked me to my car after school. We passed by his car on the way and three black birds stared at us from his car’s roof.
“What’s with the black birds? You don’t have a dead body in the trunk, do ya?” See, Lainey, I came right out and asked.
Ethan snorted. “They’re ravens, a different species, and I have no idea why my car’s their hang out spot.” Reaching into his pocket, he tossed something and a few pieces landed on his roof with light plings.
As the birds quickly gobbled the hard bits up, I raised my eyebrows. “You’r
e feeding them? No wonder they’re multiplying.”
“It’s just kibble.” He brushed the crumbs off his hand. “They kept pooping on my car when I shooed them away. Now, so long as I feed them, they seem content to poop elsewhere.”
I chuckled. “If you can’t beat ‘em…” We’d just reached my car when my cell phone pinged. My attention automatically strayed to the Caller ID. It was the same as before—a text from an unknown number.
“Is it your dad?” Ethan asked.
Wind blew my hair around my face in a messy mop of blonde strands. I swallowed the lump in my throat and tucked my phone away. “Probably. He hasn’t said jack since he left and now he’s texting me? I have no idea how he got my cell number.”
Ethan released a strand of hair that had snagged in the hinges of my sunglasses, his knuckles brushing my cheek. Sympathy reflected in his eyes. “Maybe you should text him back and tell him not to send you any more messages.”
I blinked hard to suppress the tears of anger and worry over my dad’s second attempt to contact me. What if he tried to call my mom’s cell? He knows my number. It’s possible he might have hers. Ethan’s warm fingers palmed the back of my neck and he pulled me close. I dug my fingers into his jean jacket and buried my nose against his shoulder, soaking up his warmth and inhaling his unique smell.
Rubbing his thumb along the curve of my neck, his deep voice vibrated against my temple. “He’s probably not going to stop until you respond.”
Pulling back, I knew he was probably right, but I didn’t want to face it. Not yet. “Want to go get some pizza?”
Ethan gave a wide-mouthed, gorgeous smile, the kind that made my stomach pitch and my legs shake. Taking a step back, I leaned against my car. No one had a clue how good-looking he was, because he’d never smiled like this at school.
“Wow,” I said, yanking off my glasses.
He frowned, glancing down at his jean jacket and then his t-shirt underneath. “What?”
Brightest Kind of Darkness Page 10
