“Myran,” he whispered, sending chills throughout me. It was astonishing how the way he said one word has so much power. I realized then that we were sitting cross-legged, our knees touching. I couldn't help but feel my skin jump with the impact, slight as it was. If we learned forward, our heads would be touching. The rain was starting to pull my hair, making it damp and heavy, while Halender's long black hair began to stick to his back. “I don't want to hurt you,” he said, “if you are not ready to hear of how we did get back and who we met.”
As much as my heart gave a sickening thud, I wanted to know. “Tell me,” I whispered urgently to him, the wind stealing my voice away with its silver wings. I had to blink swiftly to keep looking at him because droplets were now collecting on my eyelids.
“There is so much to tell you,” he went on and paused. He glanced beyond me off into the distance, deciding which thoughts to tell me and which ones to save for later. “I could go on about the years Leon and I spent in the west, but most importantly, when we found a way to escape. We stole boats and sailed back east. We landed farther south instead of in Truemonix, closer to the Land of Lock, Locherenixzes. Dazed from the long journey and the storm, we scrambled to land and willed our way further inland in case of pursuit.” He paused again and looked away in awe. “That's when we met the tall, beautiful, and proud Green People.”
I jumped as if a lightning bolt had gone through me. Halender gazed at me. “Yes, we met the ones who took you in and the two you grew up with.”
Now I wasn't so much blinking back raindrops as my own tears. Why would I cry about something like that? They had ripped me away from my home and betrayed my trust. Why would I want news about them?
“We told them how we had met you and how you were safe at the fortress. They are very wise.” He seemed as if he was about to say more and then stopped. “They told Leon and Rena where to build their hut so they could be safe for a time. They gave me hope and told me...They have ways for foreseeing, don't they?” He looked at me again; we were still close enough to see each other's eyes, although a steady film of rain teemed down around us. “They told me to tell you,” he finished with wonder, “that they will always, always...”
“Be my guardians and friends if I should need, always,” I finished with him.
“Myran, why did you leave them? I thought they had broken your trust...”
I stood abruptly, feeling the need to get away. The rain mixed with my tears. I looked down at Halender, who looked up questioningly at me. He had raised a hand as if to take mine, but he paused and looked up as I bit my lip and shook my head.
“I'm sorry.” The wind carried his words to my ears. “Will you meet me here again? Tomorrow?”
I turned for the door, only then realizing I was soaked through and through. He filled my thoughts. He gave me too much to think about. “Tomorrow,” I replied.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Mesmerized
Months. They chased each other like wild rascals destined to misbehave all in the name of frolicking fun. Most times, I was unaware of their passing because my mind was distracted in several different ways. What stood out straight and sure was my choice that became clearer in each passing day. My days were divided between spending time taking care of the children and up high on the balcony with Halender. I was drawn to him now. The games were over, and it was obvious. He grew surer of himself, and soon I knew he would tell me all that he had held back, and then I would tell him. My heart was unfolding in his hands more rapidly than I'd ever imagined. With each new day, I found myself opening up to him, almost as if I were in flower blooming anew and brighter.
My mind could not help but slip back now and again to the Green People and what they had told me. I thought maybe they had not been so wrong. Following the protocol of their people could not be easy, even though they had banished themselves for my sake.
***
It was one of those days when I reached the balcony first. I was alone in the silence of nature and the gently swirling breeze. I felt my heart give a plunge, reaching for the expanse beyond and watching the plants unfold in an exotic myriad of colors. My ears listened to the symphony of sounds arising from the trees. I longed to breathe the clean air and be alone and silent out in the wild. I was close to tumbling off the balcony and running into the thicket. The haze of fear cleared, and just when I thought I might be brave enough to fly, Halender stepped out. He took one look at me before drawing to my side, close enough so we could feel each other breathing. He brought his head near mine and gently took my face in his hands so he could gaze deep into my eyes. “I want to show you something,” he said. I remained silent, looking up at him hopefully. “It is far from here. Are you ready to leave?” he asked, holding his breath and waiting for a positive answer.
“Yes,” I replied.
He just looked at me, and it was if winter passed to spring and he was gazing at a dazzling sunrise. “Myran,” he whispered, “Long have I waited.”
“Tell me,” I said, “the year is new. Tell me all.”
“Not yet,” he whispered, still gazing at me in wonder. “When we get there.”
“Then let's go now,” I whispered back, wondering how long I could hold his intense stare.
He smiled at me. He was so serious yet full of life, and when he smiled, I felt the most discreet stirring of joy in my heart. I felt he could see my mind and all I held in my heart for him. It seemed as if I would lift up and fly away; there was a new buoyancy to me. I was no more than a leaf and could be blown anywhere, and I would be glad to go.
“Myran, beautiful, wild one. That is what your name means.” One moment I was smiling up at his face, and the next I was pulled into his arms. My head lay against his heart, and I listened to its rhythmic poundings. He smelled of mountains and woods, open meadows, travel, blood, sweat, and fire. His past fears were drifting away. I could feel the vibe of happiness he gave off. I wanted to shout his name and keep on saying it every time his heart beat. I whispered his name, lost in a spring of love flowing, “Hal, Hal, Hal, Hal.”
He pulled away for a moment to look down at my face, and there he read more than I was ever going to tell him. Without waiting, he dived in all the way to kiss me gently until I could feel joy easing out of my heart and I started laughing. The sound ripped out of my throat, startling me. It had been a long time since I had last laughed. Now it was contagious and sent Halender off on an unstoppable fit. Arms around each other, we threw back out heads and laughed, kissing between breaths, until we rained joyous tears on each other's faces.
“We're leaving. You're coming with me.” Halender gasped. “We need never answer to this world anymore.”
I was laughing too hard to answer, but I held on tight as he lifted me up. I felt fear had died and crashed and burned and new life was exploding all because of one Tider.
***
I could not sleep that night; my mind was awake with joy. There were brilliant explosions going on in my head, and my feet barely touched the ground. I could not stop dancing and laughing. Once all the little children were tucked in, I kissed all their smooth, young, and innocent faces. I danced between their beds and cribs, and wise Shelo did not say a word. She looked at me, and she knew what went on. I was leaving and returning to the wild lands that reached out to me and delivered my love safely to me. The stars must have been twinkling and dancing; it was a glorious night. Even afterward, I could not return to my bed to sleep. I climbed high to the place where it all happened and sat out in the still darkness. He had taken my heart, locked and bonded, and gained my trust. I had unlocked the bonds that held my heart and let him in completely. He was a part of me now, and even then, I shivered with joy under the stars.
***
It was only later that I realized he had asked nothing more than that I come with him and see. It was then that a slow current of doubt pulled at my sure heartstrings, and I decided I had to talk to someone.
I went to see Rena, Leon's blond princess;
she was a bright, vibrant picture of life. Her dark past never pressed on her memory. She was always looking forward and thinking only of Leon and their life together. No one had ever heard her story, and at times, I wondered if she had erased it from her mind, the turmoil of the thoughts being too upsetting. She and Leon were never far apart, dwelling in each other's love as if that was all that was needed to sustain them. I saw the change in Leon; it was exactly what he needed. I supposed it was as much the same as for Rena; they lived only for each other. Yet they were not to stay in the fortress. It was the year 922, and they had been at the fortress for the past eight months. I did not wonder what kept them; I never needed to know until I went to see Rena.
I found her downstairs near the meeting rooms. She bounded over to me and caught my arms in a whirlpool of joy with a smile lighting her face. Excitedly, she exclaimed, “Hal and Leon told me. I am thrilled. Now we can leave together!”
Together? I was slightly taken aback. I did not know anything about the plans, such as when we were leaving or whom we were taking with us.
“You must come see the house which Leon built,” Rena went on. A bright simile covered her face and she whispered confidently, “He doesn't know it yet, but he will be a father before the year is over.”
I still did not know what to say. “Rena, how happy you must be.” I gently hugged her. “I wonder when we will leave then. I will be glad to go.”
“Ah, leave this glorious place. Yes, it is beautiful. I am glad to have come before departing into hiding. Come. Let's find Leon and Hal; they will know more.”
“Rena,” I said, following her. “It's not like he promised me anything.”
She stopped and turned to look at me. “Yes he did,” she replied.
I looked at her, narrowing my eyes. “But you don't know that. You weren't there.”
“I know. I know what he will show you. Besides, some promises do not need words.”
For some reason, I believed her. When I saw Hal again, even before he saw me, I felt that halo of warmth and security. I knew, and every shadow of a doubt fled, but I could not rush into his arms in a crowded room. We drew near, and I could hear Leon talking. “Winter grows. The white chill sweeps over all the land, numbing it. It would be folly...” He trailed off when he saw us, and his face swept into a light of his smile. “Hal told me,” he announced, looking at me, although Hal stood right there. “You're coming with us!”
I nodded, glancing at Hal. “Yes, and when are we leaving and who is coming with us?” I asked. I wanted to know our destination, too, but I refrained from asking, leaving the question burning on the top of my tongue.
“Come. We must go someplace quiet where we can talk,” Hal suggested.
We trailed off to the hall of windows, and there we planned our journey. I did not know if I would ever see the fortress again or all I ever knew there. I thought of the wide, white halls and majestic sweeps of its arches and doorways. I also thought of the great doors and strange carvings as well as the winding staircases. I thought of the Mermis dancing and talking, the mice singing shrilly as they carried barrels, the uproarious laughter of Crons, and the fervent discussions full of passion. Last of all, I thought of the children and how they would grow up without me. I knew, and I was right. Five years after I had first reached the fortress, I set off again and left behind that crowded but certain life and all the fortress held for me—companionship and safety—all because of one Tider who offered me more. I found myself falling and diving, more than eager, in love with him with a frenzied passion.
Love is a phantom not readily understood. It can be studied and experienced for hundreds and hundreds of years, and still little can correctly convey what exactly are the ingredients for this feeling. Even so, every experience is felt differently, from the wild and passionate lovers to the calmer, sweeter lovers. My experience was that it burned like a never-ending fire that scarred terribly when it was put out. In fact, it never ended; it simply burned.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
What Love Built
The cool green grass cushioned my bare feet as I glided smoothly over the blades and leaves. I held tight to the warm hand in mine, not from fear, but just because I liked to hold on and feel him near. Only Hal and I were walking through the forest. Not just any forest either, but the forest of Shimla, home of the Iaen. We had not met any, yet I felt nervous being so close to where I grew up. It seemed we had a strange code of no disturbance. For now, we were close to the Land of Lock, Locherenixzes, and when we left the shaded canopy of trees, we would be there. Whatever it was that Hal had to show me was held secret and secure by the Land of Lock. Hal had promised me this was as far as we'd go, no farther.
We were perfect together. Our natures intertwined: my curiosity, his knowledge, and our strong desires. We knew and words reaffirmed. We fit perfectly. We were the missing piece of each other's souls, pure strength and devotion. It was only a matter of time as I held tight to his hand.
***
We had left the fortress in April with Leon and Rena. We rode four white horses who volunteered, for white horses are among those talking animals. We rode through the rolling hills of Sanga San to the house that Leon had built for Rena. He was quite proud of it, and she found delight in its loveliness. It was in the center of a thick grove; light formed a happy circle around the grove and the house. Despite the fact that it was empty for the past year, it was stocked with food. The couple would last a long time there. Leon was over ecstatic to be a father and took the greatest care of Rena. He took so much care that, in fact, it became apparent that the two would not travel on with us. Instead, they obtained a promise from us that we would return and stay with them for a few months after their child was born. As much as I missed Rena's companionship, I was comfortable with Hal all to myself. We set off in July, and much later that month, we found ourselves wandering in the woods. Hal told me he would take me straight there, and we would not go beyond the sea.
***
The trees opened before us, waving their branches as if bowing. The silence from the Iaen felt strange. I still heard the occasional bird song and scolding in the thickets, but still, I would have thought they would have been upon us. Hal and I had tried to stay on the outskirts of their woods for everyone knows the sacredness of the lands of the creatures of the wood. None dare risk the challenge of meeting their arrogance. But finally, the forest opened, and we had reached the end of Shimla. A gentle wind stirred the shadows, but we were not quite clear of the shade to enjoy the sunlight. We walked out to the Land of Lock, and a grassy hill rose before us. Long shoots of grass were bending, straightening, and then waving at us. Hal stopped and turned to face me, pulling me close. “It lies over that hill,” he said almost nervously. I still smelled the piney tang of the forest; he smelled like the wild. “Close your eyes,” he said.
I went as still as a frightened bird and closed my eyes. Beams of sunlight danced on my face. I knew I was on the verge of smiling when Hal scooped me up in his arms and carried me off. “I'll tell you when we get there,” he said.
I cushioned my head against his shoulder and listened to the world. It was alive and unafraid for it was safe here. I could feel it. Invisible walls penetrated this land, and I felt calm. He walked up the hill and down it. Soon full sunlight hit my face, and I smiled under its warmth. Hal stopped and gently put me down on flat ground. He put an arm around my waist to steady me. “Open.”
The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was his face, and then I had no time to read his expression because beyond him I saw a hut. It rose out of the ground, standing proud; it was new and well built. Flowers budded around it, opening their colorful faces to greet summer and usher in fall, while white butterflies flew around them. I was still frozen in shock and wonder, staring at the house that Hal built for me. This must mean...I looked from him to the house while excitement continued to mount and bubble within me. I ran up to the house, touched its smooth walls, looked at the door, and touched its ha
ndle. But before opening it, I looked at Hal and walked back to him unbelievingly. “Hal, you built me a house?” I tried not to let my voice break as I took his hands. “You built me a house,” I whispered again. “Hal, I love you,” I blurted out, kissing his hands. “Show me.”
He took me by the hand and led me up to the house. He pushed open the door. I saw one great room with a table and chairs and a fireplace over in a corner. The hut was small, cozy, and perfect. There was even a short winding flight of stairs up to another floor with two tiny rooms across from each other. They were complete with beds, pillows, and blankets. I could not say anything, but all the joy radiated on my face. He looked at me and smiled. Then he gently pulled me back downstairs to where all the food was stored, and a life of hiding was waiting for us. I could barely believe he would do this for me. What does one say to such a gift? I had no words.
He led me outside, and we sat down among the flowers, letting the grass cushion us. He pulled me down close to him, letting the wind ruffle and pull at our hair. He put his arms around me and stared into my face. The sensual fragrance of flowers overwhelmed me as I waited for him to speak. The white butterflies danced around our faces, and I felt something important was about to take place.
“We came here after crossing the treacherous sea,” Hal began, “and upon the shores of Lock, we were wrecked. The winds were too strong, and our boat could not take it anymore. Driven by wind and waves, we crashed senselessly and lay upon the beach until a calm morning found us cold, wet, and destitute. We had lost even our last drops of food. Weaponless and doomed, we dared to creep forward into this land, not knowing what fate awaited us. It was Leon's idea at first to enter Shimla. He said although the ‘wild things’ would haunt us, it was better than being slaughtered by Black Steeds in cold blood. We were easy targets. So we strayed into the forest and lost ourselves in their penetrating tangle, and that was when they found us. They were tall, pale, and shimmering green, but they were beautiful, and when I heard their voices…” Here he paused. His eyes, which stared far away, turned to concentrate on mine. “I thought of you,” he finished. I looked into his somber face. How could he have loved me so soon? After so short a period? “They questioned us beyond the point of exhaustion,” he went on, “wanting to know everything about the west, where our journeys took us, and what we were doing in regards to the scrimmages between the Black Steeds and White Steeds. When we mentioned the fortress, their large ears quivered, and it was after that they decided to take us farther in and provide food and shelter. We regained our strength there, but we did not feel so privileged as to explore the woods. Our hosts were gracious and gave us an overabundance of provision for our return to the fortress, but they still wanted to know more. One night, they summoned Leon and me, took us off to a separate glade in the wood, and questioned us closely. It was then we admitted to meeting you. We told them we met ‘one who is like you and grew up in your lands of safety before leaving.’ They asked where you were now, and then they announced they were your guardians. So far, no names had been exchanged, but they asked if we spoke of one called Myran. When they realized we had found you, they were silent. Finally, they gave us a message to deliver to you if our paths ever did cross again.”
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