He sat down and slumped over his desk, all energy leaving him.
Since the day he’d seen Alice again, he’d allowed himself to believe their love might have survived over a decade, that there was a woman worthy of his trust, a woman like no other, who was willing to forsake all for their love.
She’d declared she’d been willing to forsake her family for him fifteen years ago.
But, now that her trust had been put to a test, she’d proven incapable of believing in his honor and integrity. Whatever she’d felt for him had not been strong enough to withstand her brother’s poison.
He hadn’t realized until this moment how much he’d wanted her trust. Did he want anything less of his future wife?
Alice spent the rest of the afternoon frantically seeking Macey. Now that she’d renounced her attendance at the dinner, she needed to inform someone. After all, she was the hostess.
When she finally found her at her small flat, Macey stared at her. “You’re what?”
“I can’t be at the dinner tonight. You’ll have to do the honors for me.”
“Tell me what this is about.”
“I’d rather not.” She turned away from her, unwilling to talk about Nicholas to anyone else yet, when she, herself, was still too hurt and confused.
Her friend sat down. “I’m sorry, my dear, but I will do nothing for you unless you tell me the real reason you can’t be there tonight.”
Alice finally sat down next to her with a long sigh. “I can’t talk about it. Suffice it to say, I just found out something disquieting about Nicholas. It involves Father’s firm.”
Macey remained serious. “Who told you?”
“Geoffrey came to see me today.”
“I see.” Her friend was quiet a long time. Then she turned to her. “I don’t know what it might be about. I know nothing of your family’s firm. All I know is are you quite certain what he has told you about Nicholas Tennent is the truth?”
Alice searched her friend’s eyes. “I don’t know. But he wouldn’t lie about something so serious. I would soon know the truth. Besides, you didn’t see him. He sounded desperate. I’ve never seen him in such a state.”
“Have you talked to Mr. Tennent about it?”
Alice looked away. “I went to his office. I’ve just come from there. I had to know from him if there was any truth to it.”
“Well?”
“He as good as admitted it! What am I to do?” She squeezed her eyes shut. “All he said was to trust him!”
“Maybe you ought to, my dear.”
She turned to look at Macey. “But how can he ask that of me? I have Austen to think of, too. What if Nick is no different than Father was? How can I think about joining my life to his—to someone who stands for everything that I find so unworthy?”
Her friend covered her hands. “Only you can answer that. But be careful you don’t misjudge Mr. Tennent. He seemed an honorable man to me.”
“I don’t know…” Alice rose. “I must think…”
Macey joined her. “Yes, think and pray. I’ll be at the gala. I’ll do anything you need me to do, but think long and hard before you leave him there. It would be a terrible humiliation for someone like him.”
Nick sat at the head table, ignoring the buzz of voices around him and the clink of silverware on china. Miss Endicott sat beside him, in the place that had been reserved for Alice.
He eased his standing collar away from his neck with his finger, wondering how much longer before this cursed event would be finished. The meal was finally over and now the meeting would convene.
Miss Endicott patted his hand. “You’re doing fine. Now, you’ll just have to sit back and listen to a number of items being presented before we’ll discuss the donation. Then after a few more speeches of appreciation and acknowledgement, I will present you the plaque and only then may you abscond.” She said the last with a smile.
“All this for the privilege of having a donation accepted?”
She smiled sadly. “We Brits like to stand on ceremony. You must indulge us in this. You are the prodigal returned home—well, if not the prodigal, then the boy who made good.”
“Where is Alice?”
His abrupt question gave her pause. “I don’t know. She had a lot to think about.”
He looked away, saying in an undertone, “Only one thing as far as I’m concerned.”
“What is that?” she asked softly.
He turned back to her. “Would I do anything to hurt her?”
“Maybe you are asking a lot of someone who was abandoned by you once before.”
He frowned at her. “I never willingly abandoned her.”
“She might know that with her head, but her heart might still feel the pain of abandonment.”
The words caused him much thought.
After that they spoke no more.
The speeches began, business colleagues speaking about the needs of the growing city, others lauding him for his contribution to the business world. Finally, he was presented with his plaque.
It should have filled him with joy, but it left him cold. The one who would have made the evening truly meaningful for him was absent.
He would have long since left, but Miss Endicott had proven a true ally and he wouldn’t dishonor her that way.
Afterward, people crowded around him, all vying for his attention. He answered as many questions as he could, smiled at people’s expressions of gratitude until he felt his lips would crack.
“Excuse me, Mr. Tennent, would you answer a few questions for The Daily News?”
He braced himself for the journalist’s questions. “Yes, of course.”
“This is a sizeable endowment to one single charity. What made you select the Housing Society?”
“I was acquainted with Mrs. Lennox years ago and felt confident that any charity run by her would be a worthy one.”
He continued asking Nick questions about his time in America and his decision to return to London. Nick answered each one in as general terms as possible, not disposed to have all his personal reasons in print for all to read.
“My invitation stated that Mrs. Lennox, as head of the Housing Society, would present the plaque to you herself. If she was the main reason you decided on this charity for your donation, may I enquire why she was not present this evening?”
The question only made him more aware than ever what others must be asking themselves about Alice’s pointed absence.
“I don’t know. You shall have to ask her. If you’ll excuse me, I need to speak to some others.” He turned away and made his way out of the room, ignoring any more requests for his attention.
Chapter Fifteen
Alice sat in her drawing room staring at the papers laid out on the table before her.
It was the day after the dinner. She’d heard nothing except for a brief note from Macey telling her everything had gone off without a hitch. She gave no other details.
Alice had lain awake most of the night by turns staring dry-eyed at the dark ceiling and tossing this way and that, wondering, worrying, fretting.
She hadn’t had the energy or heart to go to the office this morning. It was almost too much to keep up a front before Austen at breakfast. It was with relief that she’d bid him goodbye as he went off to the park with Nanny Grove.
Then as she’d sat in the drawing room, her hands idle, her maid had brought in a large, thick envelope in the morning’s post.
Not recognizing the writing on it, but seeing the name of Nick’s firm on the return address, she quickly opened it.
Instead of any kind of letter, a thick sheaf of official looking documents fell out on her lap. Only a small white square of notepaper clipped to the top contained Nicholas’s writing. She grabbed it up eagerly.
It only held one sentence:
I was saving these for your wedding gift. Seeing that is no longer a possibility, I am giving them to you now.
No closing, only the scrawl of his na
me: Nicholas.
Feeling a sharp jab of disappointment that there were no explanations, no apologies, nothing, she finally turned to examine the papers.
At first they made no sense. But her heart began to pound when she saw the fancy scroll of the name of Shepard and Steward, Ltd. across several.
Many of the pages seemed to be shares made out to her. She continued reading, growing more confused as she saw articles and documents about the London Building Society, among other building firms. Newspaper clippings she’d read herself detailed the problems and complaints with their substandard building practices. Further on she found numerous documents with the names of other companies. Little by little she began to decipher the information.
It listed all the companies that had invested in these building societies and described the amounts of their investments. It was like following a maze, so many companies seemed to be owned by others, making it difficult to track which company had invested in which building society.
Her head ached from reading so much fine print. But she didn’t stop until she had succeeded in following the path of one, whose investment in the building societies was indubitably clear. Shepard and Steward, Limited.
The papers fell to her lap, as she stared before her.
What had her father been responsible for?
“Well, you see, I need to go away for a bit.” Nicholas sat on the park bench facing the Round Pond at Kensington Gardens, his head bent toward Austen.
Alice held her breath, trying to catch his next words.
Austen swung his legs back and forth on the bench. “Where do you have to go?”
“Back to America. It’s where I came from.”
“Maybe I can come, too?”
Nicholas draped his arm across the back of the bench. “Maybe some day. But now you have your lessons, and your mother, and Moppet.”
Before Austen could reply, Alice stepped forward. They both turned around.
Austen smiled brightly at her. “Hello, Mama.”
“Hello, Austen. I’m glad you are still here.” She’d taken a chance that perhaps she’d find Nicholas with him. She turned stricken eyes to him, afraid he’d get up and leave.
But he only watched her, his expression unreadable. Taking a deep breath, she walked around the iron bench to face them.
Austen’s face turned serious. “Mama, Mr. Tennent has told me he has to go away. Why can’t we come with him like he did with us to France?”
She moistened her lips, clutching her handbag in front of her. “I don’t know. Perhaps he’ll be very busy with his work.”
Austen immediately turned to Nicholas. “Will you be very busy?”
She closed her eyes, too afraid of hearing his reply.
“I’ll never be too busy for you.”
She bit her lip, her eyes filling with tears at the reply.
Trying to compose herself once again, she approached Austen and knelt down in front of him. “Austen, darling, Mama needs to talk to Mr. Tennent. I want you to go home with Nanny Grove now.”
“But Mama, Mr. Tennent just came.”
“I understand. But this is a serious talk.”
“Are you going to say goodbye to him?”
She swallowed, finding it hard to speak. “I don’t know…Perhaps—” she chanced a glance at Nicholas before looking away as quickly “—he can stop by and see you a bit later.”
Nicholas’s hand squeezed Austen’s shoulder. “I’ll do so, I promise.”
Her son nodded his head to him then slid off the bench.
She stood and motioned for Miss Grove who sat knitting on another bench a bit farther away. “I’ll see you in a little while, Austen.” She leaned down and kissed his cheek.
He turned to Nicholas. “You’ll come soon?”
Nicholas ruffled his hair and smiled. “Yes, very soon.”
The two watched Austen walk away with his nanny.
Alice braced herself when Nicholas turned back to her. “I received the documents you sent me.”
When he made no reply, she cleared her throat and looked down. “I came to ask for your forgiveness.” She took another deep breath. “You see, before yesterday, I had no idea I owned a share of my father’s company.”
“Your brother didn’t inform you?”
At his sharp tone she looked up and shook her head. “My brother and father never saw fit to involve me in the business.” She gave a bitter laugh. “Especially once my father disinherited me.” Moistening her lips she continued. “I was hit with a few too many surprises yesterday afternoon.”
“I’m sorry I had to be among them.” Nicholas shifted over on the bench. “Why don’t you sit down?”
She complied, her knees feeling shaky.
He cleared his throat. “I began investigating your family’s firm when I first returned. I admit I probably did it mostly out of curiosity. Your father was no longer around to give me the satisfaction of showing him I’d made good. The next best thing was to see how your father’s firm had done over the years compared with my own.” He paused. “I was also astounded to discover your father had disinherited you. I think this most of all prompted my investigation.”
She watched his profile as he spoke. Her hand ached to reach out and touch his beloved face, to smooth his hair, but although he sat only a few inches from her, she felt he was miles away.
“What I found was that your brother had not only mismanaged your family’s firm, but the types of investments were also unsound. The deeper I went, the more concerned I grew. Your brother is close to bankruptcy.”
She shook her head. No wonder Geoffrey had been so frantic the day before.
He looked down at his loosely clasped hands. “I didn’t know how to tell you, perhaps that’s why I kept silent. Your father’s firm was responsible for some of the shoddy housing of the kind you were showing me that day.
“One of the companies responsible for investing in some of the building firms has another name, but your brother is the principal behind it, your father before him. They put up the money, hoping for a quick return on their investment.”
She hadn’t been wrong in her interpretation of the documents. “You should have told me.”
His dark eyes gazed into hers and she wished with all her heart that she’d never distrusted him. “I didn’t want to hurt you. I thought instead that I could put a stop to it by buying out your father’s partner. When I discovered you also owned some shares, I saw my way clear to gaining control of the company, as well as shore it up before your brother ran it into the ground completely. It is, after all, your son’s inheritance.”
She shook her head sadly. “As Geoffrey pointed out to me.”
“I was going to present you the shares I’d purchased on our wedding day—that is, if you’d ever agreed to marry me.” His lips twisted. “I had no interest in running your company—as long as you discharged Geoffrey as president—and got rid of Victor as chief counsel. His advice has not aided your brother in making sound decisions.”
“So, he, too, has been privy to Geoff’s mismanagement?”
“Yes.”
The silence stretched out before them. “I’m sorry, Nicholas, for not trusting you.” She looked down at her hands. “I was afraid to.”
“Why?” he asked softly.
“I was afraid to feel what I had for you before.”
“Was it because your father sent you away?”
She put a hand to her mouth, unable to stop the tears. “Because it hurt to love you. When Father dismissed you, I didn’t understand that it would be for good. I kept expecting to see you, that somehow you’d come back—” Her words became incoherent.
“I’m sorry I left you the way I did that day, without a word. Believe me, it was not my intention.”
She couldn’t stop weeping. “I waited for word from you—some word, anything. My father said only that he had sent you away.” She swallowed. “I cried and cried. I had nothing from you…and then I remembered that
afternoon we went riding in Richmond Park—”
She dug frantically in her handbag. “After you left, I went back there and found these.” She pulled out the two handkerchiefs they’d used that day. “You probably don’t even remember, but you’d given me your handkerchief to dry my face. They were still there, lying on the rock where I’d spread them out to dry.”
He took the two handkerchiefs from her. They were wrinkled but neatly folded in squares. His monogram was clearly visible in the corner of one. “Yes…I remember that day very well,” he said softly, fingering his initials.
“It was all I had of you. Then Father sent me away in disgrace. It was so awful,” she sobbed. “Being with those relatives was like being a prisoner. I never felt more alone in my life. I didn’t understand being punished so cruelly just for loving you. Every day I expected you to come back, to contact me somehow. I dreamed of how you’d come back and rescue me…”
Somewhere in her incoherent speech, Nicholas had put his arm around her. He stroked her hair and murmured soothing words. “Don’t fret yourself, Alice.”
“I loved you so much…I would have gone anywhere with you—”
“Dear, sweet Alice, it wouldn’t have been possible. I was penniless.”
“I wouldn’t have cared—”
She sniffled and Nicholas handed her her old handkerchief. She took it and blew her nose and wiped her eyes.
In a calmer voice, she continued. “For a long time I felt abandoned by everyone, even God. It wasn’t until I met Julian a few years later that he helped me find solace. He showed me that the Lord loved me and hadn’t abandoned me. Through His grace I was able to forgive Father—and you—for never coming back.”
She sat up and looked at Nicholas. His dark eyes had softened. “I thought I was fully healed until I saw you again.” She pressed her lips together, afraid she would begin to cry once more. “You showed me how fearful I still was. I was afraid of losing Austen, afraid of what you made me feel again…”
A Man Most Worthy Page 23
