by Komal Kant
All males were the same and Lincoln was no different. I hadn’t wanted to be his buddy for the week, but I had no choice. I’d signed up for this, not thinking that Bennett and I would have a bad break up over the weekend at Kendall’s party.
It didn’t help that Bennett had been in the popular crowd. It actually made things a lot worse. When I’d gone to get my books this morning from my locker, someone had written ‘whore’ on it in permanent marker. I’m not sure what made me a “whore” exactly, but I guess getting into a fight with Bennett was a requirement.
After telling Principal Lawson about it, and trying to get out of showing the new guy around for the week, he’d thought it was a good idea for me to keep up appearances and go about like everything was fine.
But I didn’t want to keep up appearances. I wanted to go home, crawl into bed and never go back to school again. I’d never been as humiliated as the moment when I’d caught Bennett making out with the other girl at the party. She didn’t go to our school—she was from Penthill High—so at least I didn’t have to see them together every day at school.
Still, things were bad enough.
People that had spoken to me while I’d been dating Bennett now avoided me. This morning when I’d waved at a bunch of girls, who’d been quite chatty with me last week, they’d pointedly looked the other way. No one wanted to associate themselves with the boring bookworm who wasn’t dating the popular football player. I wasn’t good enough anymore.
I’d seen Ashton Summers treated the same way when she fell from her social pedestal. Now, the same thing was happening to me. And all because I’d been cheated on and confronted Bennett about it in front of other people.
“Are you going to show me around or are you going to stand there staring into space all day?”
The sound of Lincoln’s voice roused me from my thoughts, and I shot him a withering look. “Try and keep up then,” I said, my tone sour. “I have a fascinating English class to get to after this.”
It was a stupid thing to say because, with his long legs and quick gait, Lincoln could easily keep pace with me.
“You find English fascinating? Your life must be pretty boring.” His tone was light and amused.
I glared at him. “Anything is more fascinating than you at this point.”
Lincoln’s eyebrows shot up at the hostility in my voice and he snapped his eyes to the front, his mouth set in a tight line. I wasn’t sure if he was angry or not, but I couldn’t help feeling bad at the way I’d treated him.
It was his first day at school and out of all the people at Statlen High he’d gotten stuck with me. Still, he was just another dirtbag guy, and I had no time to waste on them. Especially guys who were like Lincoln. The jock type. The Bennett type. The type of guy that knew he looked good.
To be fair, Lincoln did look good. He was tall and muscular, with short, dark brown hair that complemented azure eyes. I bet he thought he could get any girl into bed just by blinking at them. Well, this was one girl who wasn’t interested.
I led him back outside and across the courtyard. “The courtyard is where the seniors sit during lunch.” I nodded towards the metal benches that were positioned in the center of the area. “The jocks and cheerleaders sit there, so don’t even go there unless you get an invitation. Although, I expect they’ll welcome you with open arms.”
Lincoln didn’t say anything, which really annoyed me. He probably thought he was too good to talk to me. Or maybe I’d made him angry with the way I was acting.
I continued speaking as though his silence didn’t faze me. “If you enter the C building and walk past the rooms, you’ll find the cafeteria and the field. You can have lunch there too if you want.”
I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and found his expression inscrutable. He really didn’t say much, and here I was babbling on like an idiot. Maybe I was boring him or maybe he didn’t care what I had to say. Well, fine. I wasn’t going to go out of my way to talk to him if he was going to be like that.
“Where do you eat lunch?”
“Huh?” I was so surprised that he’d spoken that his question didn’t register immediately.
“You heard me.”
His curtness rubbed me the wrong way. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I eat on the field.”
“Where’s the pole?”
“What pole?”
“The one that’s stuck up your…”
My mouth fell open and I stared at him, outrage and embarrassment growing in the pit of my stomach. “Don’t speak to me like that, you insufferable…”
“Jock?” Lincoln supplied, a teasing lilt to his voice.
The embarrassment only grew, overshadowing the outrage. My insult to him this morning had been absolutely ridiculous, and judging from the smile lingering around Lincoln’s mouth he thought the same thing.
“Hadie!”
The familiar voice of my best friend, Mariah Brand, reached my ears, but I was too mortified to turn around. I stood there, immobilized, staring at Lincoln with balled up fists, contemplating whether to respond to him or to burst into tears because I was so stressed out from everything that was going on.
“Hadie, didn’t you hear me calling?” Mariah asked as she reached me.
I turned to find that my two other best friends Estella Markson and Lana Buckley were also with Mariah. At her five-foot-seven height, Estella easily towered over the three of us. We were always telling her that she should become a professional model, and not just for her height. Estella was freaking beautiful with long honey-brown hair and large amber eyes.
Mariah—or ‘Ray’, as we affectionately referred to her as—was about an inch taller than me with a mass of ginger curls, light brown eyes and a smattering of freckles across her nose. Lana was Mariah’s cousin—their mothers were sisters—so she also had the same shade of brown eyes and red hair, but instead it fell dead straight down her back. She spent a lot of time with a straightening iron.
“Sorry,” I responded, my voice flat as I continued to glare at Lincoln, “I was just showing the new guy around.”
In perfect synchronization, Lana and Mariah’s eyes shot to Lincoln and they stared at him with their mouths slightly open. And stared, and stared, and stared.
Estella, who was closest to Lana, elbowed her sharply in the ribs before turning to Lincoln, an easy smile on her face. “Hi, I’m Estella. It’s nice to meet you…” Her voice trailed off as she waited for him to introduce himself.
“Lincoln,” he said and looked Estella over like every other red-blooded male did. I waited for him to check her out again, but instead his eyes flickered over to Lana, who was still gaping at him. How embarrassing. “And you are?”
“Lana,” she said, a confident smile on her face.
Even though Lana and Mariah were both boy-crazy, Lana was the one who wasn’t afraid to go up to a boy and ask him out. Mariah was the one who fan girled behind-the-scenes and fantasized about the guy.
Now that Lana had recovered from the dirty thoughts she had probably been having of Lincoln, she elbowed Mariah to snap her out of whatever had transfixed her. Okay, it wasn’t a mystery what had transfixed her. Obviously, it was Lincoln.
“I’m Mariah!” She said it with so much enthusiasm that she was practically shouting.
I would have to remind her later on that Lincoln wasn’t deaf and that he could hear her perfectly fine if she spoke in a lower register.
Lincoln flashed her a grin, and I swear Mariah was practically quivering under his gaze. This was how guys like Lincoln got a huge ego. Because girls acted like complete idiots in front of them like they were the best thing to walk this earth. Well, they weren’t and Lincoln wasn’t an exception.
“It’s nice to have such a warm welcome. Some people just aren’t capable of that.” His eyes met mine and I felt my face heat up. He turned back to my friends. “Sorry to cut this short, but I’d like to get to my first class on time.”
As if on cue, th
e bell rang, and without so much as a backwards glance, Lincoln sauntered off and disappeared amongst the flurry of students who were heading to first period.
I was the one who was supposed to show him to his first class! I hadn’t even finished the tour yet! The nerve of that rude, egotistical…
Mariah turned to me. “Oh my God! I want to lick that boy’s skin off!”
Beside her, Estella pretended to gag. “Mariah, do you have any limits or boundaries?”
“Not when it comes to a hunk like him.”
Lana nodded in agreement. “Like we have a chance with a guy like that. He’s going to be sitting over there with Kance and her friends by the end of the day.” She stared wistfully at the benches in the center of the courtyard.
“It doesn’t hurt to try!” Mariah said. “Gosh, it’s good to have some fresh meat around here…”
Mariah fawning over a guy she didn’t even know was really starting to get on my nerves. “Ray, just because he’s good looking doesn’t mean he’s a good person. He’s just like the rest of them. He’ll sweet talk you, get in your pants and then cheat on you!”
I hadn’t realized how much anger was in my voice until I saw the identical expressions of shock on my best friends’ faces. I’d been trying to keep it together after what had happened on Friday night, but obviously I’d failed. The break-up with Bennett was affecting me a lot more than I cared to admit.
“Oh, honey,” Mariah said as she pulled me into a hug, “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t be acting so apathetic right after you and Bennett…um, you know?”
Estella gave me one of her calming smiles as she rubbed my shoulder. “Hadie, I know you’re hurting, but not every guy is like that. It’s still too soon. It’s normal for you to hate the male species.”
As her words sunk in, my eyes fell on a familiar figure that was walking past. Our eyes met and instead of feeling angry like I should, I felt small, insecure and pathetic.
Bennett—my best friend, the guy I loved—walked past me like I didn’t exist. Like I hadn’t mattered to him when I knew that I had. And that’s what hurt me the most; the fact that I meant nothing to him.
His friends said something amongst themselves and snickered as they passed me. Oliver Carson, quarterback of the football team, let out a hoot of laughter, and I distinctly heard someone say, “Skank.”
My friends encircled me as though trying to shield out the jeers, but it was too late. The taunts had hit me hard and my shield had crumbled, leaving me weak and defenseless. I tried to focus on Estella’s reassuring grip on my arm, but it was difficult not to break down into tears.
My heart felt like it was going through a paper shredder. I shook with a grief that didn’t feel like mine. I didn’t want be the distraught girl who cried over a guy. I was supposed to stay collected and be strong.
But I couldn’t stay strong. It was too hard.
Bennett had pierced a part of my heart and it was irreparable.
Chapter Three
Hadie
Lincoln Bracks was in my first period English class.
When I’d mentioned wanting to get to my English class, he had known all along that he was in it. Yet the jerk had said nothing. For some reason, that made my mood sour even further.
Lincoln approached Ms. Flick and they spoke in lowered voices. I studied the way his brown leather jacket hugged his broad shoulders and made the muscles in his arms bulge. Even with the jacket on you could tell that the guy was sporting some major biceps. He definitely played sports. There was no way he could get that kind of body without being athletic.
Mariah nudged me, and I swear her voice went up by ten octaves. “Oh my God! It’s Lincoln!”
I ignored her and continued watching him. I wasn’t too sure why I was watching him, but I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He’d stopped talking to Ms. Flick and his eyes were roaming all over the room. Then they landed on me.
Darn!
I shrunk lower in my seat and stared out the window as he walked down the aisle. Please don’t let him stop at our table. Please don’t let him stop…
“Lincoln, over here!” Mariah called out with a wave.
Oh, crap!
I turned to Mariah, widening my eyes and motioning my head in Lincoln’s direction so she would understand that I didn’t want him anywhere near me. Instead, she gave me a blank look and frowned as Lincoln stopped at our table.
Her smile quickly returned. “Why don’t you sit with us?”
I needed to have a good talking to with Mariah once Lincoln was out of earshot. She and I totally weren’t on the same wavelength today.
I glanced up to see Lincoln shake his head. “Thanks, but I wouldn’t want to intrude.”
Before Mariah could say anything else, I cut in. “That table at the back is always empty.” I pointed my thumb towards the back of the room and waited for him to vamoose.
It was like Lincoln had read my mind because his cool blue eyes lit up for a fraction of a second and a hint of a smile appeared on his mouth. “Thanks for the tip. Hades.”
He’d barely made it past our table before Mariah whacked me on the arm. “Hadie, what is wrong with you? The boy is gorgeous! Just because you’re anti-male, doesn’t mean I am too!”
“Ray, he’s a total jerk,” I said, trying to keep my voice low. “Do you know what he said to me this morning? He asked me if I had a pole stuck up my butt! I mean, the nerve!”
Mariah was pressing her lips together so hard that her dimples were showing. It was obvious that she was trying not to laugh.
I shot her a glare. “It’s not funny.”
“It kinda is,” she said. “You’ve had the biggest personality change in the last three days. I get that you’re miserable and heartbroken, but you need to stop acting like such an ice queen. It’s not you.”
I much rather preferred extroverted, boy-crazy Mariah to this insightful and mature one. The sad part about all of this was that she was right. I couldn’t take one douchebag guy’s actions and hold it against every single male on the planet.
“You’re right, but that doesn’t mean I have to like the new guy. You know, his nickname is Link? How pretentious is that?”
Mariah’s eyes lit up. “He can link with me any day.”
“Ray, that’s disgusting!”
“Hey, I’m just putting myself out there.” Mariah raised her hands in defense.
“You sound like a hooker.”
“I’m whatever Link wants me to be.” She gave me a playful wink and I whacked her on the arm again. Mariah burst out laughing, and I knew she was only saying most of this stuff to get a reaction out of me.
Still, I didn’t care how good looking the guy was. Looks weren’t important to me at all and I would never date a guy based on how good looking he was. I wasn’t about to change that rule just because a hot guy happened to walk into my school.
Mariah’s laughter ceased and her face turned serious as she looked at the front of the room. Reluctantly, I followed her gaze, already knowing what it was that she’d seen. Or who.
Bennett was in this class too.
When we were dating, he sat at the desk next to mine. Today, he and his friend walked past my row and sat somewhere behind me. I hadn’t expected him to sit in his usual seat, but it still hurt that he would completely ignore me like that. I expected an apology at least. It was hard to swallow that he was too proud to even make a small gesture like that.
As if on cue, everyone’s heads in the room swiveled towards me, liked they’d practiced it. I seriously wanted to disappear through the floor. I couldn’t stand all the staring or the whispers. Or the hurtful words on my locker.
And it was all Bennett’s fault. He was the one who had cheated on me. He was the one who had gotten his friends to make fun of me. And as much as I hated him, I loved him too. And that’s what I hated the most. That I couldn’t stop thinking about him. He had broken my heart and I didn’t hate him. I hated myself more because I’d turned into one
of those stupid girls who loved a guy that didn’t deserve her love.
Forgetting Bennett wasn’t easy though. I’d had a crush on him since elementary school. Back then he’d been a different person. He’d been quieter, reserved, and didn’t have many friends. Physically, he’d been a little chubby, with crooked teeth and bad acne, but that hadn’t mattered to me. He’d always been sweet to me.
When middle school began, Bennett met Ashton Summers. She’d been so pretty, with her golden hair and cornflower blue eyes, that I couldn’t blame him for paying extra special attention to her. As the years went on, Bennett began to spend less and less time with me. Don’t get me wrong, we’d still talk in the halls and after school sometimes, but as his appearance began to change, so did he. His skin cleared up, braces corrected his teeth, and he lost weight and muscled up from playing sports.
Ashton never paid me much attention—maybe because I didn’t interest her—and I was simply content to hang out with my childhood friends, Mariah, Lana and Estella. But Bennett had always been on my mind, and I had clearly been on his because he’d asked me out a month ago and we’d started dating. Things were going pretty well until I’d found out he was cheating on me with a cheerleader from Penthill High.
Yep, Bennett definitely wasn’t the same guy I’d grown up loving. He was popular, arrogant, attractive, and a little mean. His bad side had become clearer when Ashton was kicked out of the popular group and he didn’t stand by her. He chose to stick with his wealthy, good looking, and athletic friends: Oliver Carson, Carter Hammond, Matthew Sutton, and a few others. His need for popularity had gone to his head.
I was so different from him. I was a straight-A student, a book nerd, and definitely wasn’t popular. It was a wonder that Bennett had asked me out at all.
Glancing over my shoulder, my eyes locked with Lincoln’s blue ones and I quickly turned back to the front, embarrassed that he had caught me looking at him.
The last thing this school needed was another Bennett.
