by Penny Jordan
After a few minutes she sat up on the edge of the bed and, finding her robe to pull on, stood up. The intense wave of dizziness that struck her made her sit back down again quickly. What was that? On an instinctive reflex her hand went to her belly. And then, just as quickly as the dizziness had struck, she felt nausea surge, fast and urgent. She just made it to the bathroom in time.
When she had finished retching into the toilet she stood up and washed her face. She had an awful certainty about what was wrong. And she didn’t even question that it could be something else. The past few days, the intense tiredness, increased sensitivity, the emotional roller-coaster she seemed to be on…
It must be down to the change in her Pill, just before she’d met Alexandros again. As if moving on autopilot, she showered, got dressed and left the apartment.
Alexandros was curt. ‘You have the papers ready?’
‘Of course.’ His solicitor laughed briefly, his curiosity evident. ‘I was expecting you to call a few weeks ago…’
‘Yes, well, I’m calling now.’
His solicitor knew better than to test Alexandros’s patience. ‘Of course. Leave it with me. It’ll only take a few days to process the paperwork.’
‘Good. I’ll be in Athens this weekend if you need me.’
‘I don’t foresee any problems. This’ll be quick and easy.’
Alexandros put down the phone and rested his chin on steepled fingers. Quick and easy.
Exactly how he’d envisaged this marriage of convenience and revenge. But it hadn’t been quick and easy. For one thing, it had lasted a lot longer than he’d expected, and Kallie had been anything but easy, fighting him every step of the way. But when they didn’t fight…he felt his stomach contract in a clutch of something he didn’t understand.
That was the problem. His whole life he’d understood. Everything. Understood that he had obligations and responsibilities, that in many respects his life was not his own. Understood that life could be different for others, but not for him. He’d understood that the minute his mother had informed him he had to marry Pia Kyriapolous.
A shudder of revulsion spiralled through him as the memory came back. He shut it down. But despite his best efforts he couldn’t shut down where it led him…to that night. The contrast between what he’d seen and then…Kallie.
When he’d felt her soft body against his, her warm sweet mouth pressed against his, it had called to him on a deep level so hidden, so untouched that he hadn’t been able to move. He’d been shocked to find himself almost reacting to her untutored caresses, which had been so innocent when compared to what he’d witnessed earlier.
His mouth twisted. Or so he’d thought. He needed to remember that now. To call on that sense of anger, betrayal. In the past few weeks it had faded far too much into the distance, the past…even calling it up was a struggle, as if it was becoming blurred. Kallie Demarchis was dangerous. She had the ability to trick him all over again and he wouldn’t let her.
‘But why do you want us to go to Athens for the weekend?’
Kallie felt panicky and didn’t know why. Well, yes, she knew exactly why. She needed time to think, to be alone, to sort things out. She’d been about to tell Alexandros that she wanted to move back into her apartment, put it to him that it would look better for when he broke the news of the divorce, as if problems were brewing. And why hadn’t he mentioned a divorce yet? That was a special form of torture in itself, the constant not knowing…
His face was closed, remote, shuttered. A million miles from the Alexandros of last night.
He shrugged. ‘You’ve been working hard, you could do with a break…’
She turned away from him and wrapped her arms around herself. Even though he hadn’t mentioned divorce, she knew it hung in the air around them. Was this weekend it? As much as she wanted to bring it up, to be brave enough to confront him about it, especially now, she couldn’t. And hated herself for it. And he still had the power to do serious damage to her family. But she knew that as reasons went, if she was honest, she hadn’t thought about her family much since the day of the wedding.
She turned back. If this was the last time she’d have with him then she’d take it. And when it was over, she’d insist on the divorce. And then think about what she had to do. ‘Very well…’
Alexandros shut himself off from the vulnerability in her eyes, flashing blue and green. This weekend in Athens was going to be it. And with it, he’d get her out of his system for good. He should mention the divorce…but for some perverse reason, he didn’t want to at that moment.
He smiled. ‘Good. We leave in the morning.’
Getting out of the four-wheel-drive at the villa the next day and watching Thea come down the steps made a vivid sense of déjà vu wash over Kallie. She held onto the vehicle door to steady herself. She had felt nauseous again that morning but had managed to make it to the bathroom and avoid Alexandros hearing her. She had to keep her secret. Had to. If he found out before the divorce, he’d insist she stay married to him. She knew him too well now.
At least if they were already divorced, he couldn’t march her back up the aisle, and as for her uncle…She could feel the blood leave her face. She couldn’t think now about what she’d do if he threatened them again.
Thea came and embraced Kallie, looking at her closely. Kallie felt a quiver of panic. Could Thea see her secret? But the moment was gone as Thea led them inside. This time there were no questions about bedrooms and both their bags were left in his bedroom.
That night Kallie made a pact with herself as she lay in Alexandros’s arms. After the weekend she would do whatever it took to get the divorce. Insist on moving back into her own apartment. He’d have to lock her up if he wanted to stop her. She couldn’t take it any more. She felt panicky. She’d even call the police if she had to. She forced herself to be calm, confident that she could make him let her go. So that meant there were two days left, two days sharing Alexandros’s bed. Then a lifetime without it.
Sudden desperation made her seek his embrace again, even though they’d only shortly come down from a high plateau. Alexandros was all too eager to comply and for a blissful while Kallie didn’t have to think about anything else.
All the following day, Kallie felt like a cat on a hot tin roof. She tried to avoid being anywhere near Alexandros, but in the evening he insisted they go for dinner in Athens. Their conversation was desultory and forced. Kallie miserably had to concede that this was obviously the precursor to the divorce, even though he hadn’t said so.
She sipped at coffee. And finally they were ready to go. Silently they made the journey back to the villa. All the way up the hill Kallie could feel something in her stirring, moving. A sense of growing doom, panic. How could she be so complacent? Allow him to bring her here, like some mute sheep. She now had a life growing in her, she wasn’t just responsible for herself any more.
By the time they got to the villa she felt jerky and anxious as she followed him inside. Alexandros sensed her mood and turned to her, one step on the bottom of the stairs. Brows drawn together. ‘What is it?’
See? Kallie thought, slightly hysterically, I’m not performing exactly how he wants, not following instructions.
‘I can’t do this any more, Alexandros. You’ve had your pound of flesh. I want to go home. Now. And I want us to be divorced as soon as possible.’
He came towards her and she backed away towards the main living room. She put out her hands. ‘Stay away, Alexandros. I’m not some puppet on a string. I’ve had enough.’
She’d had enough? He’d tell her when she’d had enough. That’d be when he’d had enough and this weekend was it. No way was she going to deny him this, not when she was patently lying, her whole body reacting and quivering for his touch. The fact that she’d mentioned divorce didn’t even impinge on his consciousness. The only thing he could think about was that she was denying herself to him.
She turned before he could reach her and had run
across the living room to the patio doors. She opened them and went outside. When he stepped out, the moonlight gave a glow that seemed to circle around her form. The strands of her golden hair glistened. She was backed against the wall, facing him, breathing harshly. His arousal levels skyrocketed. He didn’t know what she was up to, or what was going on, but all he did know was that he had to have her. The hunger in his blood obliterated any other concern.
He strode over and caught her to him. ‘Kallie, what is wrong with you?’
She shook her head fiercely. ‘Don’t…Please, Alexandros, you know I can’t…can’t resist…’
He bent his head and took her mouth. Hauling her even closer. The familiar battle was fought and somewhere he knew he yearned for a time when Kallie would come to him willingly, without having to fight him, even for a moment. But it was lost in the whirlwind of passion that took them over.
It was only after a long moment, when he pulled back and looked down, that he became aware of his surroundings, where they were. It touched something deep inside him. Primeval…visceral and extreme. Something he had to lash out against instinctively. So many threads in his head…tangled and knotted, and in the middle of it all, this woman. Kallie. History was being repeated and she had to know what she was doing to him. He cupped her jaw and laughed softly into her face.
‘Very good. I didn’t even notice where we were.’
She was leaning back against the wall, hands against his chest, her pelvis tight against his, his arousal insistent against her.
She frowned. He could see a wary light cut through the desire in her eyes. ‘What are you talking about?’
He turned her chin with his thumb and forefinger.
Kallie felt shock rush through her entire body when Alexandros turned her head and she saw what he wanted her to see. Where she’d unwittingly led them. To the patio. There was the tree. The place where she had come to find him seven years ago. The place of her youthful folly and utter humiliation. The pain came back so intensely she felt faint, then for a moment she just felt still. Incredibly calm.
And then the reaction set in. The same one that had hit her that night in the restaurant. Her tongue felt heavy, the clamminess, nausea and that awful tightening in her chest.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
KALLIE was struggling to breathe through the intense pain. ‘I can’t…Alex…I can’t breathe…can’t move…’
For a moment when Kallie pushed weakly at Alexandros’s chest, he thought she was still fighting him. He looked down. She was pasty. That same colour as the night in the restaurant. Panic slammed into his body, even as he tried to rationalise what could be causing the same reaction.
He lifted her up into his arms and strode through the house, an unbidden and constricting fear making him feel uncoordinated. He bellowed for Thea and when she appeared at the top of the stairs he instructed her to call the doctor.
After Kallie had thrown up, he brought her over to the bed and sat there, cradling her in his lap, until the intense, violent shaking calmed somewhat, until the storm had passed and she could breathe again. She was so limp that he felt a shard of ice slice through his chest. He was about to shout for Thea again when the doctor appeared at the door. The relief he felt was intense.
He paced up and down outside while the doctor examined Kallie. Thea was wringing her hands. Finally the doctor came out and told Thea to make Kallie a hot, sweet cup of tea. Thea left. Alexandros looked at the doctor, barely able to stay civil.
‘Well?’
The doctor took off his glasses and put them away. He looked at Alexandros, and led him away from the door. ‘From what I can see, and I’ve given her a thorough check-up, your wife has just suffered a severe panic attack. They’re not serious but can be very frightening to the person undergoing it, and to the people with them. The common symptoms are shortness of breath, rising fear, shaking, nausea, feeling like they can’t breathe, intense chest pain…She has all those—a classic case.’
Alexandros reeled. A panic attack?
‘It happened out on the patio…is there any reason why it might have happened there?’
Alexandros felt a grim suspicion settle into him. ‘Maybe…I’m not sure.’
The doctor continued, ‘She told me the same thing happened one night when she had alcohol—she said until then she hadn’t had a drink since she was in her teens. It’s extreme but possible she could have reacted like that. It would seem to me that it’s all linked. Something happened and ever since then something triggers the reaction. It’s a lot more common than you’d think…’ The doctor frowned slightly and shrugged. ‘Only she knows the answer.’
Alexandros was grim, things that he didn’t want to face becoming illuminated, begging for his attention. ‘Thank you for coming at such short notice.’
The doctor shrugged. ‘No problem. Any time.’
As he watched the doctor walk away, Alexandros couldn’t halt the image coming into his head of Kallie that night, aged seventeen, taking the bottle of ouzo out of his hands and drinking. Yet she’d never touched a drop since he’d seen her again, except that night at the restaurant. If the doctor was right and she’d stopped drinking years ago…He rubbed a weary hand over his face.
Thea came back up and he took the cup of tea she’d prepared, bringing it into the bedroom. Kallie looked at him from under the covers with big scared eyes. He made her drink the tea and watched as the colour came back into her face.
‘Alexandros…’ she said finally.
‘Shh.’ He put a finger to her lips. ‘We’ll talk tomorrow. Get some rest.’
They had a lot to talk about. He left the room only when she fell asleep, then he went back downstairs to the patio. He didn’t sleep that night.
And very early he got into his vehicle and left the villa.
Kallie woke and sank back against the pillows, groaning. She couldn’t believe she’d had that reaction again. And could it really just have been a panic attack, as the doctor had suggested? Yet it seemed to make sense, as she remembered her shock on realising where they were last night.
Could it really be because of that night? Could she have been so upset—and hurt—by what had happened that she’d somehow, in her head, placed her fears and guilt onto something random like alcohol that night in the restaurant? Used it as a trigger? How else would she have had exactly the same reaction just from being on the patio?
She felt a weight lift off her shoulders, even as she felt absurdly embarrassed and mortified. What must Alexandros think? A hysterical female. She swung out of bed, relieved not to feel the familiar morning nausea. She cringed again. He’d already witnessed her emptying the contents of her stomach into a toilet bowl. Not exactly the most romantic thing in the world. But, then, what did romance have to do with any of this anyway?
She got dressed into casual trousers and a sweater, tied her hair back and went downstairs with a leaden feeling in her chest. If anything was likely to make Alexandros run to arrange a divorce, this was it. He’d go back into the smooth, coiffed arms of Isabelle Zolanz in a heartbeat rather than watch Kallie throw up again. She didn’t even have the energy to castigate herself for that thought not making her happy.
Thea met her and Kallie gave up silent thanks that they were friends again. She couldn’t have borne Thea’s condemnation any more. Thea fussed around Kallie and made her breakfast, sitting down beside her at the kitchen table where Kallie had insisted on eating.
‘When are you going to tell him?’
Kallie nearly choked on her toast. ‘Excuse me?’
Thea looked stern. ‘You know very well what I’m talking about…’
Kallie’s stomach fell and she said brightly, ‘Oh, that? It was just a panic attack, can you believe that? I’m fine now. The doctor even said that once you know what it is, it can stop happening.’
Thea snorted. ‘Doctors! What do they know? I could have told you weeks ago what that was if I’d known what was happening. I’m not talking about that
, and you won’t have one of them again, Kallie. You know what I’m talking about.’ And she placed her hand on Kallie’s belly.
So she had known…
Kallie went pink and shrugged awkwardly, too bemused to even be surprised at Thea’s intuition. ‘I don’t know, Thea. I don’t know that I can…until…until…’
Just then the main door slammed. Alexandros. Kallie tensed. Thea stood up and looked at her. ‘You have to tell him. Everything. Now.’
Kallie got up and walked up into the hall from the kitchen. Alexandros was coming down the stairs.
‘I was looking for you…’
She nodded jerkily. ‘I think we need to talk.’
‘Yes.’ He was grim. ‘We do.’
This is it. He’s going to tell me about the divorce and I know I should tell him about the pregnancy now but if I do…
‘Kallie?’ He was looking at her intently.
She faced him squarely and drew up reserves of strength from somewhere.
‘Yes?’
‘Let’s sit down.’
He took her hand and led her over to the sofa, sitting down beside her. Putting a little distance between them.
Oh, God, he’s going to be nice about it…This is so much worse…
Kallie felt bile rise and had to take deep breaths to will it down.
‘Kallie. The doctor told me what he thinks happened last night, that it was some form of a panic attack…’
The abject and pitiful relief that flooded Kallie when he didn’t mention divorce straight off made her feel like laughing out loud. She nodded her head and focused on his face. His strong, hard-boned face. Lovingly took in every feature as if she had to imprint it on her memory.
‘Last night…you were thinking about what happened seven years ago, weren’t you?’
